Just Like Me (16 page)

“That’s not true.” Taylor murmured gently.

“Yea it is…” I felt the tears coming then. I felt them flooding up. I willed them not to come. I willed them to stay in place. I kept counting in my head and thinking about how embarrassed I would be if Taylor saw me crying. For goodness sake, I hardly knew him.

And it was working, I wasn’t crying, until Taylor climbed up in the bed with me. And then they started coming. Dear God, why is it when I start I just can’t stop? I cried into his shoulder as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me against him. The awkward shield I kept in place fell crashing to the ground. My need to stay away and keep my distance just shattered as he held me. This whole time I had convinced myself to be strong. That I didn’t need anyone to hold me, to tell me it would be ok. I didn’t need someone to touch me, I would be ok on my own, I could survive. And then there was this moment…in his arms…and I knew what it was like to feel whole again.

“I…I know…th-that it doesn’t sound that…bad…” I tried to calm myself down, easing the words out. “B-but it…was…hard.” He shushed me quietly, rocking me slowly back and forth, very gently. I finally got myself to stop this embarrassing act and sniffed until my thoughts were clear.

“I’m guessing you’ve been holding that against every other guy that’s tried to get close to you. But, Kale…I’m here to tell you that you’re wanted. Kale, I want to care for you.” He slowly loosened his grip on me until he could look me in the eyes. “Let me care for you.” I nodded, rubbing at my nose.

“I’m s-sorry.” I whispered. “I just…”

“It’s ok, it takes time.” He hugged me, briefly, before letting go all together.

We both sat in silence for a while, a small distance between us on the bed. I kept looking at him, the way his eyes were worried. And I wondered again why he would come all the way here, would he really have held me like that if he just wanted publicity? I was starting to think not.

“I want to go kick his ass. And I would-“ He added with a nod toward me. “If I wasn’t sure a camera would be lurking around a corner.”

“Well…it’d be publicity. Taylor Jett kicks the mess out of the Just Like Me competition winner’s ex.”

“Sounds like a decent headline.” He smiled at the thought. “But instead of referring to you as the competition winner…I’d prefer that they put you were my girlfriend.”

“For publicity?”

“Well, no.” He said, an amused expression on his face. “Because that’s what I want you to be.”

“What?” I asked, trying for clarity.

“My girlfriend, Kale. That’s what I want you to be. I care about you, as I’ve stated, what, a million times since I got here?” He winced.

And that would be perfect time to hear Lisa’s key turning in the lock. Taylor was quickly off the bed and in my desk chair by the time our door opened.

“God, the coffee house was taking forever today. But I got you an iced mocha-“ She froze, at first seeing the tear stained face that I wore. But then she almost dropped the coffee when her eyes met Taylor Jett.

“Thanks. But you know, I’m more of a vanilla latte kind of guy.” He said as Lisa’s mouth dropped pretty much to the floor. I fell back on to the bed laughing.

Lisa kept fidgeting in her chair, messing with her hair and adjusting her clothes as Taylor sat lazily in my desk chair.

“And the premier for Zombie Grave is going to be in November?” She asked for the third time, pulling at her pink shirt. I called that shirt the cleavage shirt, and now she kept glancing nervously at me.

“Yeapp.” He popped his p.

“That’s great.” She was visibly shaking as she tried to appear calm. Taylor gave me a sideways glance. I shrugged.

“Taylor came up because he was worried about Chris.” I told Lisa, sipping on the iced mocha she had brought up. Taylor held his hand out, and I passed it to him. ”Careful, there isn’t an extra shot of sugar-free vanilla.” I warned. He rolled his eyes.

“However will I survive?” He took a sip and his face puckered. “God, I can taste the fat.” He teased.

“Did you want me to run down and grab you something? I can…” Lisa was pretty much bouncing in her chair, eager to please Taylor.

“No, no. This is fine.” He glanced at me again, taking another swallow. He glanced at the cup, a look of surprise on his face. “Huh, not that bad, actually.”

“Well, we don’t have our own personal barista, but it’s good all the same.”

“You have your own personal barista?” Lisa chimed, leaning toward Taylor.

“Well…”

“Oh my God! That’s incredible!”

“I don’t really have-“

“Time to get coffee, yea I know. With the premier coming out and the new movie you’re shooting for-“ Man, Lisa probably shouldn’t have ordered an extra-large espresso. Her nerves were already on edge.

“Well, yea, I don’t have time, but I think Kale was just joking. I don’t really have a barista.”

“Oh.” Lisa’s face crumpled in disappointment at guessing wrong. Taylor held the coffee back out to me, and I took it. He took a moment to whisper, just so I could hear, “Do we need to take her batteries out?”

He gave a quick stretch before standing up. “Is there a bathroom on this floor?”
“Yea, but it’s just for the girls. You’ll have to go to the guest one on the first floor.”

“Alright.” He heaved himself out of the chair and walked for the door. “You lock me out and you’re dead.” He said, winking at me. “I know where you live.”

“Oh! We would never do that.” Lisa chirped.

Taylor raised his eyebrows at me and then raised his hood before exiting the dorm room. Lisa looked at me and I felt like I could have potentially counted down her blast-off.

“WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME HE WAS HERE?” She thundered, gripping hard onto her chair. “I just made a complete fool of myself in front of Taylor Jett! The Taylor Jett!”

“I didn’t know he was coming!” I countered defensively.

“Yea, it’s all ‘no big deal’ with you! Just share your freaking coffee with him! Did you even realize that?? You were freaking sharing your coffee with Taylor Jett! Girls would give a fortune just to have the straw with his DNA!”

I looked down at my coffee, confused. “He’s just a guy, Lisa. Like you and me. Remember the competition? Just like me?”
              “But he’s not just like us! He’s a superstar, Kale! And he’s in. Our. Dorm!!!”

“Well…he’s in the bathroom right now…”

She huffed and turned around, logging into her social media.

“Lisa, what are you doing?” She started furiously typing away at her keyboard. “Lisa you can’t post that he’s in here.”

“But why not?” She whined. “I want to take a picture with him. Can I? Pleeeeease Kale?”

“Lisa, please calm down. It’s just a guy. It’s really no big deal. I don’t care if you take a picture; just don’t post it until after he’s off campus. And you have to ask him if it’s ok.”

“So, are ya’ll like…dating now? For real?”

“No. We’re not. He just…stopped by.”

“Bull shit. Why would he stop by if he isn’t into you?”

“For publicity. He gets cameras on campus, visiting me, that’s publicity.”

“He’s wearing a hoodie and glasses like you did, you dork. No one can tell who he is.”

I guess I didn’t think about that one.

“I’m not even sure if Taylor’s truly interested.”

“Well…I’ll head out to my next class and you can talk to him. Ask him if he’s interested in you or the publicity you bring.”

“Yea, ok.”

Lisa grabbed her purse and books for her next class, the door opened before she had gotten all her stuff gathered.

“And I don’t care if he is Taylor Jett, if he’s the reason you’ve been crying, he’s getting an ass whooping from me.”

Taylor walked in the room past Lisa, ignoring her comment. He waltzed over to the desk chair and sat down.

“I…I…”

“Have to go…” I finished for Lisa, who was struggling to put one foot in front of another.

“Yea. Umm…can I take a picture with you?” She asked Taylor. He nodded.

“Sure, but I don’t have my pretty lip gloss on, so can it wait?” Lisa nodded, clearly confused at the lip gloss statement. She finally closed the door behind her while Taylor shook his head. I knew she was humiliated after that statement, but if Taylor heard her, he made no comment about it.

“Your best friend seems a little messed up. Has she been partaking in any extra-curricular activities? Like, oh I don’t know…drugs?”

“I think you’re the one who caused her to OD just then.”

“Huh.” He glanced up at me. “You alright?”

“Yea, I was just…trying to figure you out.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, I mean, did you come up here today because of publicity?”

“No. I’m off today from the film; I wanted to come see you.”

“Why?”

“Because you think I’m hot and you can’t get enough of me.”

“Right…but is it because it’ll look good on the T.V.?”

“No. It’s because I wanted to see you, really. The way your friend just acted? Like she was on drugs? All girls act like that around me. They can’t put a sentence together. You can, and it’s nice. I’m actually having a real conversation, that’s a first.”

“Ok…so…you like being my friend?”

“Yea, I like being your friend.” He mimicked. “And as I stated earlier, I’d like the word ‘girl’ attached to the front of that.”

“Meaning…?”

“Meaning I’d like to take you out to restaurants and movies and fight with you and then make-up.” He motioned toward the bed. “And kiss you; I’d really like to kiss you.”

“Yea, and this whole thing sounds like the fakest fairytale I’ve ever heard of. Girl wins contest, girl goes on a date with guy, guy falls in love even though he’s famous. This whole thing isn’t believable.”

“Whoa now, love is a strong word.” He said jokingly, holding up his hands to me. “I can’t believe you think I’m lying.”

“I think…you might like the publicity more than you like me. I don’t think you really like me all that much.”

“Ouch. But I do. And admit it; you love the idea that I could be your boyfriend. Not because of the fame, but because of my awesome personality. And my abs, you adore my abs.”

“I do not!”

“Of course you do, from the way you were blushing in those pictures yesterday?” He let out a low whistle. “You
so
want my abs.”

“I…don’t know what to say to that.”

“Because it’s true. Look, you’re blushing now.”

“I don’t want to be part of some freaky Just Like Me contest experiment. I want to be me; I want to be Kale Delaney. Not Taylor Jett’s girlfriend, I’m not interested in fame. If I were your girlfriend I don’t think anyone would get it. I don’t think I’d ever be left alone.”

“So you don’t want to?”

“I’m just not sure if it’s a good idea.”

“But…” He motioned toward his stomach. “I have abs.” He repeated. I rolled my eyes.

“Yes, you have established that. But girls don’t adore you just because you have great abs.”

“Have you seen my abs?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at me. “I mean, girls want to bake cookies on these suckers.”

“I’m sure they do.”

“Look,” For a split-second I was mortified that he may lift his shirt up. But instead, he dug into his pocket and pulled his phone out. “I’m about to call Jerry. I call him about whether or not I should do something, whether it will be good or bad for my publicity. I should do what he says, right? For publicity purposes?” He didn’t wait for an answer as he dialed and put the phone on speaker; the eerie ring rang throughout the dorm.

“Taylor?”

“Hey, Jerry.”

“Taylor, should I be worried that you called me?”
“Nope, not at all.”

“Am I on speaker?”

“No, this shit phone is acting weird. Listen, Jerry,” He shifted in his seat. “I’ve been thinking about it…and…well, I’m going to ask this Kale girl to go out with me.”
              There was a silence.

“Taylor, you know I don’t think it’s a good idea.”

I looked up, surprised.

“I know you don’t, but I really like her…so…I asked her out and she is drooling. So, we’ve set a time, it’s official. No cameras, nothing like that. Just a date between us.”

“Taylor this isn’t going to be good for you. This is going to be terrible when it heads south. She’s just a girl who doesn’t know a thing about you or Hollywood. They’re going to eat her alive, Taylor. She’s not going to be able to handle it. They’re going to tear her apart, therefore, tearing your reputation apart. You’re known for being the Hollywood bad boy. If you’re dating a normal girl who doesn’t even watch your movies, how is that going to affect your media coverage? You’re gonna go soft.”

“I don’t care about my publicity, Jerry. I want to date her. And I’m going to.”

“Please, think about what you’re doing Tay-“

But Taylor clicked the end button before Mr. Nolan could finish. Genuine concern and disbelief had colored Mr. Nolan’s voice, and it was clear that this was not a positive for Taylor.

“See?” He said, shoving the phone back into his pocket. “He’s saying it’s a bad idea. Your bad news. But I’m asking you anyway. Get that? Bad. Publicity. Bad, yet here I am. Asking you. So…what do you say? Tomorrow night? Dinner?” He winked. “Alright, it’s settled.”

“I can’t tomorrow night, I have work.”

Jerry’s words echoed through my head.
They’re going to eat her alive
and
She’s not going to be able to handle it.

Is that what he thought? Just a simple, country girl just couldn’t handle someone like Taylor. I could take a few punches on national T.V. Who cares what the world thought? It’s not like they know the truth anyway. I met Taylor’s eyes.

“But what about Wednesday?” I squeaked. He considered, and finally nodded.

“Yea, that would work fine.”

“Ok, am I going to have to fly on a private jet again?”

He laughed and leaned back in his chair. He didn’t answer me, but he didn’t stop grinning either.