Just One Kiss: A Black Alcove Novel (The Black Alcove Series Book 1) (20 page)

I step toward him, fists clenched at my
sides. “Leave! Get the fuck out of here. If I have to say it again,
I will hit you and won’t stop until someone drags you away from
me.”

His eyes glance at my hands before he points
at me.

“You are not welcome in my home, ever
again.”

I throw my hands up as he gets in his car
and backs away.

I will gladly never see that man again. If I
have any chance of redeeming myself with Kelsey in order for us to
have a real family, my father needs to be as far away from me as I
can get him.

Kelsey

The next few weeks go slowly. I decline
Sara’s mother’s invitation to join them for Thanksgiving. I don’t
want to chance seeing Ethan. My parents came home early from their
trip, and my mother is more excited about my news than my father.
He’s being a total Scrooge this holiday season, but I don’t care. I
never expected him to be happy.

There’s no way I’m staying
at their house anymore. I don’t want to be anywhere near Ethan.
Thinking about him is hard enough. I would lose it if I saw him.
But I miss him. I’m so angry and confused, I don’t understand how I
can miss him. He’s the reason we’re in this spot to begin with. My
cellphone rings on the stand next to my bed. I glance over to see
Ethan’s name flashing across the screen.
Again.
I don’t reach for my phone but
instead I sink down into my bed and cover myself completely with my
sheets.

The finalist dinner came and went, and
although they offered me the position and I accepted it, I can’t
even force myself to be happy about it. It’s the one thing in my
life actually working out. For as much as I had looked forward to
that night, my mind is still in such a fog over everything that’s
happened, it almost doesn’t feel real.

“Kelsey?” Sara pokes her head inside my
bedroom door. “I’m going to make spaghetti for dinner. Do you want
some?”

My stomach rumbles at the
word
spaghetti
.
Sounds like my little one is going to be a lover of Italian food
just like her mother. I’m almost positive it’s a girl.

“I’m going to take that as a yes.” Sara
gives a slight laugh from the door and then leaves.

Once the door closes, I pull the sheets off
my face. The red light at the top of my phone screen is blinking. I
have a voicemail.

I stare at my phone, trying to decide what
to do. Ethan leaves a voicemail every time he calls. I never listen
to them and when my mailbox is full, I delete them unheard.

I crawl out of bed and stand in front of the
full-length mirror behind my bedroom door. When I was at the
hospital I found out I was eight weeks along, which makes me almost
eleven weeks now. That means I got pregnant the night of the pool
table and my due date is early June. It also means I’m an idiot
because I didn’t know for eight weeks. I should have figured it out
sooner. I turn to my side and lift up my shirt. I don’t look any
different, but I feel like a whole new person.

I have my first real doctor’s appointment
next week and Sara is going with me. Every day she tells me I’m
making a mistake by not including Ethan, but I try my best to
ignore her. She’s still mad at Ethan, but I think she’s even more
annoyed at the fact I don’t want him there. I don’t want him around
me or the baby at all. He was pretending the whole time we were
together and never wanted me to begin with. I don’t want the burden
of him pretending he wants a family too.

I just wish I could pretend that I hadn’t
fallen in love with him and that my heart doesn’t hurt when I think
of him. Most of all, I wish I didn’t miss him.

Ethan

It’s crazy how disappointed a person can be
with himself. We are responsible for making our own choices. Even
when we know the outcome can be bad, most of the time, we still
make mistakes.

I knew what could happen the longer I kept
things from Kelsey, and for some reason, I still never found a time
to tell her. Now, here I am, lying on the couch in my living room
in the dark and feeling angry with myself because I made a mistake.
A big mistake.

It’s been almost two months since Logan told
me about her first doctor’s appointment. The one where she first
heard the baby’s heartbeat and the one I should have been with her.
But she still won’t answer my calls. I’ve missed Thanksgiving,
Christmas, and New Year’s. We were supposed to spend them all
together. Now, I may never get the chance.

I’ve considered countless times going over
to her apartment and demand she talk to me. I should do it, because
after everything, keeping a child from their father is bullshit,
but Sara keeps reassuring me Kelsey will come around and I need to
give her space. Two months feels like plenty of time to get your
space. I need to just face it: Kelsey wants nothing to do with me.
Not even as the father of our baby.

Sara’s been kind enough to keep me employed
at the BA, but she gave Kelsey a new position keeping the books and
lets her do it from their apartment. The fall semester ended,
meaning Kelsey’s finally done with college and will walk in the
spring to get her degree. I also heard she got the columnist job.
Again, I wanted to call to congratulate her—for moments like that,
I should be there with her.

I’m also lucky that Logan has been sharing
bits and pieces of what Kelsey has been up to and how she’s
feeling. He threatens me each time that Sara can never find out
what he is doing. More secrets. That’s what got me into this whole
mess.

A knock at my door doesn’t pull me off the
couch. I don’t care who’s here. If it’s not Kelsey, they don’t
matter. The knock quickly turns into pounding until whoever it is
gives up and just lets themselves inside.

“Dude, really, get off the couch,” Logan
says as he walks closer and then stops to bury his face in his
elbow and wave his free hand in front of him. “If that’s you who
smells like garbage, we have problems. Come on, get up.”

“I’m good,” I tell him.

“No, you’re not. Look at you, sitting all
pathetic on the couch. Not giving a damn. Haven’t showered, haven’t
shaved, and haven’t—”

“I don’t have a reason to do any of those
things. Drop it,” I say, rising quickly to get in his face.

“Well…at least I got you off the couch.” He
pushes me away from him. “Now go shower.”

“No,” I argue, letting my body drop back
onto the sofa.

“Alright,” Logan steps toward me and yanks
on my arm. Like a little kid, I pull back, lift my foot to his
stomach, and push him away before I jump to my feet.

“Dude, what the—”

Logan grabs my arms and pulls me in front of
him then shoves me from the back.

“Get in the shower now, Ethan. Kelsey and
Sara are going to get some food and we’re going to be at the café
with they get there.”

Now he has my full attention.

“She doesn’t want anything to do with me,
Logan. It will only make things worse.”

He doesn’t respond right away and his
silence lets me know he isn’t giving up.

“Is that what you want?” he asks.

“What?”

“To give up. To just let her go. To let her
live her life without you.”

“That’s not what I want.
That’s what
she
wants.”

Logan shakes his head. “So,
you
are
giving up.
I have to tell you, I think it’s weak and stupid and you’re an
idiot. Stop acting like a girl and being all dramatic. Go get what
you want. Don’t take no for an answer.”

“I’m not being a girl,” I tell him and walk
straight up the stairs to take a shower.

* * *

We pull into a parking space next to the
diner downtown. Logan turns off his truck.

“Let’s go.”

“What if she causes a scene?” I ask.

“She won’t. The only person causing a scene
right now is you being afraid to go in there.”

I get out of the truck and walk past him
into the coffee shop. I’m over all this “you’re acting like a
bitch” talk.

The smell of coffee beans is overwhelming
when I walk inside. It takes me less than five seconds to find
Sara. My heart drops in my chest when I notice she’s sitting alone.
She smiles at me and waves me over. I walk slowly, disappointed
because Kelsey isn’t here.

“Hurry, sit,” Sara demands. May as well do
what everyone else tells me since my own choices haven’t ended
well. “She can’t run if you’re already sitting.”

Run.

What is she talking about?

“I have her purse, too, so she has to come
to the table—oh shh, shh here she comes.” Sara waves her hands in
my face. Kelsey stands just a few tables away. She looks perfect,
wearing blue jeans and a plain white t-shirt that is now snug
against her belly.

She stops when she sees me, and for a minute
I think I see her eyes tearing up. Probably a pregnancy thing. I’ve
read a little about it, but I’m still hoping they are tears of joy
at seeing me. Her face has no expression as she walks to our
table.

“Hi,” I say when she stops next to Sara’s
chair. She squats down, grabs her purse, then walks away.

“Kelsey, wait!” I shout as I follow her out
of the coffee shop. “Please talk to me. I messed up, I know I did,
but—”

“But nothing, Ethan. I don’t want this baby
to grow up in a lie or to suffer like I have.”

“It wasn’t a lie. Nothing with you was a
lie. I love you.” I grab her hand and pull her close. “I love you
more than anything and I will spend the rest of my life making it
up to you. Please. Please give me that chance.”

Tears flow over her cheeks as she looks away
and time stands still. She takes a moment to catch her breath.

“I’m not going to keep you from your baby,
Ethan. No matter what happens, this baby deserves a father. You
will always be a part of my life, but I can’t trust you, Ethan, and
I…I don’t want this. I don’t want us.”

“Just give me five minutes to explain. I
never intended to hurt you. I just wanted my dad’s approval.”

“You had more than enough chances before
this all happened to talk to me. To trust me. But you didn’t and
this is what happened. I’m sorry, Ethan.”

And just like that, I watch her walk away
without fighting. She’s given me more chances than I can ask for,
and the only thing left for me to do is wait until she decides to
change her mind. Deep down, I am scared that she won’t.

Kelsey

I have another doctor’s appointment today
and I’m still a blubbering mess over running into Ethan. Seeing him
at the café pulled every emotion I’ve worked hard to bury out into
the open. I grab a Kleenex and gently try to fix my makeup, but the
tears keep coming and ruin it. After giving up, I wander down the
hall to the kitchen and find Sara sitting at the table in her
pajamas with her computer in front of her. She looks up and
frowns.

“Hey, how many times do I need to remind you
that stress isn’t good for you or the baby?” she says softly as she
gets up to give me a hug.

“It’s not like I’m trying to be stressed. I
blame you this time for the whole lunch fiasco yesterday.” This
causes her to smile and she sits back down, tucking one leg under
the other.

“I just want you to be happy. And I thought
you were happy with Ethan. I just wanted to help get things back on
track. Don’t you think you’ve punished him enough?”

“Just because you’ve already forgiven him
doesn’t mean I can, too.”

My eyes start to tear up again when I see
her sad smile, but I quickly pull myself together at a knock at the
door. I open the door slowly and the waterworks come back when I
find my brother Conner, standing in the hallway.

He’s taller than I remember, but his hair is
still the same brown as mine, only curly and a tad bit shaggy, and
his dark brown eyes feel like home. He pulls me into a hug as I sob
into his white shirt.

“Calm down. It’s okay,” he says and then
holds me at shoulder length to look me in the eye. “Aren’t these
supposed to be the happiest moments in your life?” he asks and I
laugh.

“You try being pregnant. Nothing happy about
your clothes not fitting, throwing up at almost every smell,
and—”

“Doing it alone is your choice, Kelsey,”
Sara adds from her spot at the table. “Hey, Conner. It’s good to
see you,” she says then closes her laptop and leaves us alone in
the kitchen.

I close the door, point to the sofa, and
grab a couple of waters before I join him.

“Alone, huh? What happened to the dad?”
Conner asks.

“He… wasn’t who I thought he was,” I say,
lowering my head. Conner never knew Ethan that well but, he knew
him well enough to know who I’m talking about.

“Did you know I have a son?” he asks and I
look at him with surprise. Conner is never the kind of person to
beat around the bush. “Yep, you’re an aunt. For almost two years
now.”

How did I not know any of this? My little
brother has a kid and no one tells me!

“I just found out about him two weeks ago.
His name is Jake,” he adds and gives me a weak smile as he pulls
out a photo. The little boy in the phone looks just like him as he
sits on the swing with a big smile and dirt all over his face.

“I went to tell Mom and Dad first, but Mom
wouldn’t stop rambling on about what’s going on with you. I came
here as soon as she stopped talking.” He laughs for a split second
before his face falls serious again. “I’m not going to give you
some big lecture, but I missed out on two years of his life and
those are years I’ll never get back. We both know I’m not perfect
and I probably did something to screw up bad enough she didn’t want
me around. It sucks. I would do anything for this kid and I wish
his mother would have told me so that no matter what our past was,
we could have given the family thing a try.” He takes a deep
breath. “But it sucks most of all that this little boy was caught
in the middle of it and spent two years without a father. Don’t
take your anger with this baby’s father out on your child. He or
she didn’t do anything to deserve it, but they deserve to be happy,
just like you. They deserve a family.”