Just Stay (5 page)

The knock that's suddenly heard from his door surprises him, and Seb frowns. Who the hell could that be? Still, he gets up from the chair and makes his way over to the door, and pulls it open. He's surprised to find Jake standing there in the hallway.

"Hey," he says, smiling. "Hope I'm not interrupting anything."

"What?" Seb says, before managing to be more articulate. "No, not at all. What's up?"

Jake looks a bit uncomfortable.

"You haven't seen Evan, have you?" he asks. "I haven't seen him since last night, and he won't answer his phone."

Seb's eyes widen slightly, inexplicably uncomfortable.

"Actually, he's―" he starts, but is cut off by the sound of his bathroom door opening, and Jake frowns. Seb glances back at Evan, who comes shuffling out of the bathroom, only to stop dead when he sees his brother. Then he smiles, in a typical, mischievous, big brother kind of way.

"Hey, Jake," he says, giving his brother an upward nod, and Seb slowly looks back at Jake. He's still frowning, as though confused, before he forms his mouth in an attempt to speak.

"Oh," he finally settles on, raising his eyebrows slightly, still confused. "Okay. Great."

He clears his throat, and Evan walks over to the door and places himself next to Seb.

"What?" Evan says, his tone one of joking accusation.

"Nothing," Jake replies. "It's just... Well, I can't remember the last time you
didn't
end up in some random girl's room."

Evan shrugs, and Seb stares downward, at a spot somewhere behind Jake's waist. Suddenly, he feels very uncomfortable and awkward, like he doesn't want to be part of this conversation. If nothing else, it makes him uncomfortable how simultaneously relieved and bothered he feels when Jake says that, about Evan for once
not
hooking up with a girl.

"Anyway," Jake continues, frowning again, suddenly a bit annoyed. "I called you like five times. Why didn't you pick up?"

Evan cocks his head in thought.

"I didn't hear anything," he says, digging through his pockets to find his phone. He pulls it out and checks the screen, before raising his eyebrows. "Look at that."

He looks up at Jake again.

"Sorry, man," he says, shrugging. "Heavy sleeper."

Jake sighs, clearly tired of his brother's behavior.

"Did you hear anything?" Evan asks, nudging Seb, who practically jumps from surprise at being addressed directly.

"What?" he blurts, looking up. "No, nothing."

It's true; he didn't hear Evan's phone ring once during the night.

Evan cocks his head pointedly at Seb, looking at Jake, as though presenting undeniable proof of his own innocence, but Jake just shakes his head.

"Whatever," he says. "I just wanted to see you were okay."

Evan nods.

"Thanks, Jakey," he says, using that ridiculous version of a nickname that Seb has already heard a couple of times, by now. "I'm good."

Jake just looks at him for a moment, concern apparent beneath the annoyance, and he nods.

"Okay," he says. Then he looks at Seb. "Thanks."

Seb doesn't ask him what he means; clearly, Jake understands that he's the one who made sure Evan got home safe. Well, sort of home. Seb can't find the words to respond, though―the concern and gratitude in Jake's expression is a bit much.

"See you around," Jake says then, slapping his hand against Evan's shoulder, and Evan quirks a cocky smile.

"Yeah," he says. "See ya."

And with those words, Jake leaves, and Seb slowly closes the door behind him. He turns to Evan, who just cocks his eyebrows.

"He worries too much," he says, before making his way back into Seb's room, and Seb hesitates for a moment.

"Well," he tries, "you didn't answer your phone. I'd be worried about my big brother, too."

Evan doesn't answer him. Instead, he gets a weirdly tense expression, like he's clenching his jaw. Seb decides not to mention the matter again.

"And, by the way," he says, frowning. "Were you planning on just staying here? 'Cause you're making yourself awful comfortable."

As soon as the words are out of his mouth, he regrets saying them. He meant to sound joking, but like always, his attempt falls flat and he just comes off as rude. At least, that's what he has been told, and that's how most people seem to perceive him.

And if nothing else, as he says it, he realizes that he doesn't
want
Evan to leave. He
really
doesn't want him to.

But whatever other people hear when Seb talks like that, it seems lost on Evan, who just smiles. He's over by the bookcase at the foot of Seb's bed, skimming over the spines of the many books he has there, trailing his finger along some of them.

"I
was
planning on leaving," he says lightly, and Seb's heart stops. "But with that attitude, I think I
should
stay for a bit."

And Seb's heart starts beating again, albeit a bit faster than a moment ago. He watches as Evan keeps trailing along the books with his fingers.

"Nice collection you've got here," he mutters, and Seb finally unfreezes and makes his way over there.

"Thanks," he says, watching Evan as he looks at the books. His eyes are lit up, focused and moving as he quickly reads the titles, and Seb realizes that he's standing rather close. Seb is standing almost right next to him, close enough to smell the worn leather of the jacket Evan was wearing last night. It smells nice.

"Here," Evan says, straightening, and Seb blinks, as though coming out of some trance. Evan uses his finger to pull out one of the books, which he hands to Seb. "This one."

Seb looks at him, confused, before looking down at the book. It's a collection of stories by Edgar Allan Poe, and he can't help but smile a little.

"What about it?" he asks, looking up at Evan, who is wearing an expression of complete comfort and ease.

"Read it," he says, and presses the book into Seb's hand, before turning around and making his way to the bed. Seb just stands there, confused.

"I have," he says, frowning. "Quite a few times."

"So read it again," Evan says plainly, and sits down on Seb's bed. Then, he actually lies down on his back, placing one arm under his head and draping the other over his stomach. He looks at Seb pointedly.

"What,
now
?" Seb says, and Evan nods, eyebrows raised as if saying
obviously,
and Seb hesitantly walks over to him. "Out loud?"

"Yeah," Evan says. "Read me something."

Seb just stares at him, a look of suspicion on his face, but Evan only chuckles.

"Dude," he says, "This hangover's gonna stick around for a while. Might as well lie down and relax."

Then he looks at Seb with just the tiniest, unexpected hint of anxiety in his eyes.

"If you don't mind?" There's a trace of that anxiety in his voice too, all of a sudden, an emotion that Seb never would have imagined could come from Evan. And he sighs, moving to sit in the armchair, but Evan stops him with a motion of his hand.

"I don't bite," he says, not even a trace of humor or sarcasm or flirtation in his voice, as he motions to the bed. Seb is almost entirely sure his heart is suddenly beating really loud, but he still manages to sit down on the bed with his back against the wall, unsure what to do with his legs. Evan is lying with his head on the pillows, as Seb sits down on the lower half of the bed, so the choices are to either put his legs over Evan's, or have Evan's legs draped over his.

He ends up sitting with his legs crossed, indian-style.

"What do you want to hear?" Seb asks, trying not to think about how odd the whole situation is, and he glances at Evan. Evan is looking at the ceiling, with a frown on his face, thinking.

"I do like
Tell-tale Heart
," he admits after a few moments, getting a weirdly somber look on his face. "A bit cliché, maybe."

"It's one of my favorites, actually," Seb admits and looks at Evan pointedly. "It's a classic, not a cliché."

Evan looks over at him, and then smiles crookedly. It's the best kind of smile.

"Then I want that one," he says, and he watches Seb intently for a few moments, before Seb shapes up and turns to the book. He checks the table of contents and flips open to the right page. He can practically feel Evan's gaze on him, and he clears his throat, before starting to read.

He makes it through the first few sentences, before he pauses, feeling the absence of Evan's gaze, and he slowly glances over at him. His eyes are closed, and for a moment, Seb just looks at him, assuming he's suddenly asleep.

There is something so relaxing about watching him as he lies there, chest heaving, the fabric of his t-shirt tightening over his body just the tiniest bit with every breath. With his eyes closed and mouth relaxed, there are no crinkles around his eyes, but Seb can still see them. He can still see the traces of them, and he can still imagine them, can imagine Evan's face as it lights up with a smile.

Then, Evan opens his eyes and looks at Seb sleepily, and Seb tries not to jump.

"Go on," Evan says pointedly, and Seb clears his throat again unnecessarily and turns back to the book. He can't believe Evan just caught him looking at him. It's unbelievable how awkward he suddenly feels.

But reading helps. It always helps calm him down, and he finds himself easing into it, easing into the idea of sitting here, reading to Evan, while he lies stretched out on Seb's bed.

On my bed.

That part is a bit harder to ease into. But he licks his lips, and continues reading, Evan's presence warm and heavy beside him

Chapter 5

Guitar

The hard surface of the bench is surprisingly comfortable against Seb's back, as he lies there, the sun on his face. His eyes are closed, and his headphones are on, flooding him with the sweetest mix of music and relaxation. It isn't really like him to relax, like this. He tends to worry so much about studying and work that needs to be done, that he very rarely just sits down, or in this case, lies down, and simply breathes.

The worst of the heat wave has passed by now, and after a rather boring lecture on analyzing poetry, as opposed to literature, which is more of Seb's thing, Seb has taken the time to find a bench in a quieter part of campus, rather than going straight back to his dorm. There, he started out sitting up, reading his lecture notes, but he quickly succumbed to laziness and put the notes away. Instead, he elected to put on his headphones and lie down on his back, feet up on the armrest, messenger bag under his head in place of a pillow. It was a good choice. Just chilling out here in the afternoon sun is something he hasn't done in a very long time.

He's almost half-sleeping, one arm under his head and the other dangling over the edge of the bench, when he's interrupted. It's the feeling of fingers brushing against his neck, with surprising softness, as someone gently lifts one of the headphones from his ear, that does it.

"Hey," someone says softly, and Seb opens his eyes, startled by someone being there. The moment he sees Evan's face though, hovering above him, framed and backlit by sunlight, it goes against every fiber in his being to not jump up in surprise and nervousness. Instead, he remains still, looking up at Evan's smiling face. The light around him gives him the impression of a halo. It's
beautiful
, in lack of a better word.

Seb hopes Evan can't see him blush. He has no idea why he would be blushing in the first place.

"Hey," he replies, raising his hands to take off his headphones and pull them down so that they end up around his neck. Evan is wearing that crooked smile of his, the one that makes Seb feel oddly warm inside.

"Nice peach fuzz," he says, actually touching Seb's cheek with his finger, making Seb freeze up and melt simultaneously. Evan is touching
his face.

"Thanks," he says, awkwardly pulling himself up into sitting position. He hasn't shaved in a couple of days, for no real reason, and it has resulted in dark stubble that now covers his face. He hasn't seen Evan in about as many days, not since they hung out in Seb's dorm.

You know
, Seb thinks, after Evan spent the night there, and when the two of them were in Seb's bed, Seb reading out loud to him. He even got to finish the whole story.

Seb still finds the whole scenario a bit hard to believe, even though it happened, and even though his pillows now carry that specific Evan-scent to prove it.

 They have texted a bit since then, though, actually exchanging phone numbers on that occasion. Evan will every now and then send a text saying something like
Who do you think would win, Captain America or Batman? This keeps me up at night
; or
I sometimes almost forget how awesome Tyrion Lannister is. Almost.
Or Seb's personal favorite;
Dude, tacos. Yes.

Evan waits until Seb has sit up properly, before sitting down next to him.

"What you listening to?" Evan asks, gesturing to the headphones around Seb's neck, and Seb glances down at them, before taking them off and handing them to Evan. Evan apprehensively takes them and puts them on, his expression changing into one of gentle concentration, as he listens, and Seb suddenly feels oddly nervous that he might not like it. That Evan might not like the music Seb listens to. There is no need, though, because Evan soon raises his eyebrows in surprised appreciation, before taking off the headphones and handing them back to Seb.

"It's good," he says. "I like it."

Seb half-smiles.

"Yeah," he says, putting the headphones back around his neck out of habit, and pausing the music on his phone, which the headphones are plugged into. "It's a favorite of mine."

Evan nods, and they just sit there for a few moments.

"You done for the day?" Evan suddenly asks, and Seb vaguely realizes how often he's kind of startled by Evan's questions and behavior, for no apparent reason.

"Yeah," he says. "Just had my only lecture for the day. You?"

"Same," Evan says, nodding. And another few moments pass in silence.