Just Tell Me (The Justice Series) (29 page)

“Who were you on the phone to Nicole?  I heard you talking, who the fuck is George?” He spat the words out and picked up his espresso cup and threw it at the wall it smashed and the brown sticky liquid ran down the wall.  He stood up, his eyes were blazing and Nicole felt scared, she had never seen anyone so angry, not even Andrew.  He spoke again.

“I loved you Nicole, I told you I loved you, I’ve never told anyone that before, why did you do this to me?  You strung me along, you fucking whore” he shouted the words at her and she staggered backwards, banging her hip into his sofa and she turned and ran into the hallway. 

She had to get out of his house.  He was going to hurt her.  Another scar to add
, he was another Andrew all over again.  He stood at the table, his hands were clenched she could see the whites of his knuckles.  As she grabbed her bags she turned round to him, her composure regained and she looked him in the eye.  She was stronger than this now, she wouldn’t be intimidated again by anyone again and she found some anger bubbling up inside her at his over reaction.

“George is my son Daniel” she said levelly looking him in the eyes
“And he’s only six months old I suggest you think about what you just said to me, work it out for yourself” she spoke with anger, the words she had struggled to say were easy now. ”You’re no better than Andrew” she shouted as she walked out, slamming the door behind her.

She ran to the car, the driver looked round in surprise he was reading his Sunday paper and wasn’t expecting anyone for good thirty m
inutes.  Nicole looked at him “Please go” and she stared out of the window as they drove away, she didn’t feel anything.  Her mind was numb. She hadn’t wanted him to find out like this but she couldn’t get his face out of her mind. The way he looked at her with such hatred in his eyes; it was all her fault. She sent men crazy. She shuddered and felt a sadness engulf her as they went to the station.

Daniel sat at the table, he was shaking.  He had heard her talking to someone as he got out of bed, he heard the words and assumed George was her lover, not her son. He was going to talk to her this morning,
ask her to stay with him. He wanted to be with her but he still felt she wasn’t being completely honest with him and he needed to know the truth.  He walked down the stairs and heard her voice “Tell George I love him” and he had stood a moment, his mind registered what he had heard, he had automatically poured himself a cup of coffee and sat down.  

His mind had worked overtime as he heard her come in
but for the first time he hadn’t felt in control of himself.  His heart had literally stopped beating, the pain inside was physical and he had struggled to breath through it. He looked at the coffee stain dripping down the wall and felt shame he had never reacted like that in his life. 

No better than Andrew?
How far had he wanted to take it? Nowhere. He wouldn’t hurt a hair on her head he knew that for certain, the shock ran through him and he was physically shaking,
she had a son?
George was her son, it all fitted into place now he thought as the realisation dawned on him, the scar he saw on Friday night was from childbirth, why she hadn’t want to see him for months. Then he thought to last night in the pub when he had discussed children and her reaction, he loved her even if she had a child, God why hadn’t she told him earlier. 
Who was the father?
 

His stomach clenched in jealousy as he thought about it being Andrews.
Was she pregnant when they first met? She said there had been no one else
he worked the dates backwards, he didn’t know a lot about children but he could work out a calendar. 
It must have been about the same time as they met
he thought in horror,
God she had been sleeping with him. She told him she hadn’t been and there hadn’t been anyone else apart from him
.  His mind raced at the possibility.
Oh my God.
He needed to contact her, he needed answers as he worked out the dates again and his mind dared to suggest the child was actually his. 

He
r mobile went to answer machine. Flat battery, he remembered from yesterday so he sent her a text asking if she would contact him. He opened his laptop to send her another message but Nicole’s Facebook profile was still logged on from earlier.  Daniel sat back in his chair, he hadn’t known she had blocked him from seeing her photos and he stared at the photo in front of him, a chubby little baby with dark hair and blue eyes stared back at him.  He looked at the album name “George Daniel Shaw”. 

“Oh Jesus Christ Nicole” Daniel spoke aloud to her profile, his ha
nd covered his mouth in shock “Why didn’t you just tell me” he knew instantly this little baby was his and he just stared at the photo in front of him and even his name gave away the truth. Her messages pinged on Facebook and Libby answered her earlier message

“
just tell him Nicole xxx
”

H
e scrolled up the previous messages.  He felt guilty for reading her private messages but he needed confirmation.  Did she felt the same way about him? Was there anything else she was hiding from him?  He wanted to see what she had said and he wanted to feel she wasn’t with him as a sense of obligation to her son.

The
tears flowed down his cheeks as he read some of the messages with Libby

“I can’t tell him, what if he hates me and George and doesn’t want to know
”

Daniel felt a pain in his throat as the he read on

“
I have never felt this way before about anyone, he is my soul mate
”

H
e sobbed at the table,
Nicole you idiot
.  He loved her more than anything else in the world how could she not know how he felt? 

T
he connection they had together, and then he thought of Nicole, how had she felt leaving her son to be with him.  How she had booked the train back early, he felt so sorry and thought about what she would have gone through without him.  The months he had missed out on.  He realised why she had been so keen to get back to her baby, to their son, but she had walked away from him, did she think he wouldn’t have wanted to know her?

He had missed so much, he felt waves of sadness as he thought of her alone a single parent,
oh God
.  He was still shaking and he looked into the eyes of his son.  What would he have done if he had found out she was pregnant, he thought back to how he felt when he first met her, how things would have been so different, he could have been with her every day while she was pregnant.
Oh what a mess.
He put his head in his hands, he had to see her again today he couldn’t leave it like this, he looked at the clock but knew she would be on the train back to Manchester now. 

He
couldn’t drive, not the way he felt he was scared he would crash the car and he scanned through his phone and rang Alex.

“Well hello, you still want to meet me?  I need some
news on romance and gossip”

He had shared some of the details of Nicole with Alex, she was a romantic at heart and thrived on the next instalme
nt of his turbulent love life “Actually Alex that’s why I’m ringing, I’ve fucked it up”

Alex took
a deep breath “Oh God not again, what’s wrong with you? You’re not drinking are you?”

The tone of h
er voice was harsh but concerned and he replied “You know, I’m not, I need to sort this out Alex, but I need your help, I need to get to Manchester now but I can’t drive I’m a wreck” his voice cracked as he filled her in the details.

He could practically hear her eyes widen through the phone and smiled as sh
e said “Bloody hell, I will be there in twenty minutes, but Daniel, we are taking the Audi”  she had wanted to test drive his car since she saw it and he laughed

“Ok but just don’t kill us yeah?”

3 hours later….

Nicole stepped off the train and walked out of the station into
Manchester, she needed to catch the bus home and it was raining.  She felt the dirty rain falling onto her head and she looked up at the grey sky, it was muggy and people rushed around her to get where they needed to be.  She listened to her iPod and she felt like she was in a different world as she shivered at the bus stop and thought about Daniel. He would have tried to get in contact with her, she didn’t know what would happen now after this but the relief washed over her.

She had done it.
He knew at last.  Would he want to know her? She was scared of him after his outburst this morning. Not because he had thrown his cup at the wall like a frustrated toddler, she remembered her dad throwing plates after his stroke.  She could deal with that, but the way he looked at her.  He looked so hurt, so angry. 

A different anger to Andrew, she tried to rationalise it
, he was nothing like that monster. She had wanted to go back to the house and hoped he had calmed down but she couldn’t, she needed to get back to Manchester; she wasn’t as strong as she thought after all. He had called her a whore, his words had stung her but her emotions were frozen.  She felt numb, in shock and just needed to hide away in her room like a teenager again. 

Nicole let herself into the house, she shivered and took her saturated coat off, her parents were sat in the lounge with George, and Nicole picked up her baby and held him close and told them what had happened.

“Oh love” her mum hugged her “I’m sure he didn’t mean to react like that, he obviously loves you, you should have stayed and worked it out”

Nicole just shrugged.  S
he didn’t know what to think anymore, she got her phone out and charged it up. It beeped at her and she read the message from Daniel asking her to ring him. She would speak to him soon she just needed to gather her thoughts.  It was a secret she had carried for so long it felt strange to know it was finally out in the open. 

She hadn’t told him George was his
and she remembered his words “You’re a fucking whore” what if he thought she was? That she slept around with men and got pregnant on purpose? He would want a paternity test, it wasn’t like her track record would make him feel any differently, she looked at the rain falling on the windows “What’s for dinner dad?” she asked him, out of habit she couldn’t face anything at the moment.

He tol
d her he had bought a chicken “The full works love” and she smiled fondly at her parents. Her mum showed Nicole the new chair they had got for George. It bolted onto the table so he could eat with them, and they put him in it. His chubby little hands grabbed a breadstick and he put it in his mouth. 

Nicole sat at the table and looked at
her son, he looked back at her and giggled as she tried to take the breadstick away “I love you” she smiled at him as he looked happily up at his mummy. She didn’t know if she would work it out with Daniel, it was like they lived in two worlds, now she was back home if felt impossible, like a fantasy. The only time they had ever spent together which wasn’t a lie was the first time they met.  She had been honest with him, she didn’t have anything to hide and yet he did, but now she had become two different people over the last few months; a new mummy and an internet girlfriend and now it had come crashing down on her. 

Alex hammered the Audi down the M6 as the road spread out in front of
them, Daniel gripped the seat “Slow down” he said, looking at his friend who had a manic look in her eye “I knew it was a mistake letting you drive, I feel fine now, pull over let me drive”.

She laughed “N
o chance” and they headed closer to Manchester, it had stopped raining now and the sky was clearer. The blue shone through and the sun was warming the air as they finally turned off the motorway.  Daniel took a deep breath as she pulled up to a roundabout.

“I will have a driving ban after that” he said shaking his head. 

They had talked about Nicole and George on the way down, Alex couldn’t comprehend that he had a son.  She had felt Nicole was hiding something but not this, never did she even suspect anything like it.  Daniel didn’t even know if she would want to see him again after his outburst, he cringed when he thought of his reaction earlier in the day.  He felt his stomach flip as the turned into her street, the row of terrace houses blocked out the sun and he looked at Alex “what are you going to do?” 

She winked at him “I’ve needed an excuse to come to
Manchester” she looked at her phone and smiled. 

He looked at his friend; his eyes narrowed “I thought you were eager to drive down here”

She smiled “lets just say you’re not the only one working things out, anyway text me and let me know what the plan is, how you’re planning on getting home anyway” He knew she was talking about Libby and he left it, she was unusually sensitive when it came to discussing her personal life. 

He walked down the small street and
found her house.  He opened the gate and knocked on the door, his heart was beating too quickly and he felt nervous.  What was he going to say?  He just needed to see her. The door opened and Nicole’s mum answered, recognition flashed her eyes and she smiled.

“You must be
Daniel” she said “You had better come in, Nicole’s just gone to the park with George she will be back soon” she shouted through to her husband and he walked out of the lounge and looked at their visitor.