Just Tricking! (14 page)

‘No,' he says.

‘I'm going to start the clock ticking. You say stop when you think you've won enough, and it's yours to keep. But don't leave it too late. If the bomb explodes, you end up empty-handed!'

‘Yeah, mate, no worries, mate.'

‘Okay. Clock's ticking.'

Danny switches tapes and presses play.

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

He picks up an empty Gladwrap tube and puts one end to the telephone and the other to his mouth.

‘Twenty dollars,' he says. The tube gives his voice the spacey echo of the real voice. It's this sort of attention to detail that makes our practical jokes so special.

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

Marvin says nothing.

‘One hundred and sixty-three dollars,' says Danny, obviously enjoying himself.

‘Three hundred and fifteen dollars.'

Silence. This guy's got nerves of steel. Either that or he's really greedy. Most people would have bailed out by now.

‘Three hundred and eighty-three dollars.'

Danny looks at me. I shrug.

‘Four hundred and forty-four dollars!' says Danny.

tick tick tick tick tick tick tick

‘Five hundred dollars.'

‘Stop!' says Marvin.

I signal to Danny to stop the tape.

‘Marvin?'

‘Yes?'

‘Do you know what you've just done?'

‘No, mate, did I do something wrong?'

‘Wrong? Marvin, you have just won five hundred dollars! What do you think about that?'

‘Oh, mate! That's fantastic! I can't believe it! Mum – I just won five hundred dollars!'

Marvin's mother starts squealing in the background. She's so loud, I have to hold the receiver away from my ear. Danny can hear it too. He's rolling around on the floor killing himself laughing.

‘Hey, Marvy,' I say. ‘What are you going to do with all that money?'

‘I don't know,' says Marvin. ‘I don't know. I've never won anything like this!'

‘Well congratulations, Marvy. Now, if you can stay on the line while we get some details, Elton John is going to take us back and show us how to do the Crocodile Rock. This is Triple B FM where – like Marvin Bonwick – we make your dreams come true. Good on ya, Marvy!'

‘Thanks, mate!' he says.

Danny starts playing ‘Crocodile Rock'.

We're about to yell, ‘Just tricking, you stupid berk!' when I hear a strange sound on the other end of the line. Like somebody crying.

I can hear Marvin talking.

‘It's okay, Mum, it's okay. You should be happy!'

‘I am happy,' she says.

Why would she be crying?

Danny's laughing so hard I'm worried he's going to wet himself.

‘Shhh!' I tell him. ‘Shut up!'

‘What's wrong?' he says.

‘I'm not sure,' I tell him. ‘Just keep the noise down.'

Danny screws up his face.

‘Marvy, are you still there?' I say.

‘Yeah, mate, sorry, Mum's a bit emotional.'

‘That's understandable,' I say. ‘Five hundred dollars is a lot of money.'

‘Yeah,' says Marvin. ‘Especially for us . . . see . . . since Dad died we've been really struggling. Mum has to work pretty long hours to hold things together. This money is really going to help out. You've got no idea how much it means to us.'

As Marvin talks I feel smaller and smaller. How was I to know his dad died? He didn't say anything. Not that he would have told me – I don't know him that well. But someone could have said something.

‘Yeah, ah, um, glad to be able to help out, Marvy. Now if I could just get your address . . .'

Well, what else can I say? Somehow, ‘Just tricking, you stupid berk' doesn't seem quite as witty as it did a few minutes ago.

Danny's stopped laughing. He's frowning and looking at me like I'm off my nut.

‘What?' he says.

I wave him away with my hand.

I take down Marvin's address.

‘Thanks, Marvy. We'll send you a letter in the next few days with details of how to collect your payment.'

‘Chris,' says Marvy, ‘can I just say that you've made me and my mum really happy today – thanks a lot.'

‘Don't mention it,' I say, and hang up.

‘Are you out of your mind?' says Danny.

‘His dad died.'

‘So?'

‘They really need the money.'

‘So you promised it to them?'

I nod.

‘Oh, man . . .' Danny is shaking his head.

‘His mum was crying, Dan. He said they've been really struggling. I couldn't tell them it was just a joke. I couldn't.'

‘So, you're going to send him five hundred dollars because you feel bad about a little practical joke.'

‘It's not a
little
practical joke,' I say. ‘It is an almighty stuff-up.'

‘Know what I reckon?' says Danny.

‘What?'

‘Just do nothing. That way there's no need to explain. There's nothing to trace it back to us.'

‘But what if they ring the radio station?'

‘The radio station won't know anything about it,' says Danny. ‘Marvin will realise it was a joke.'

‘But that's terrible!' I say. ‘Think how he'll feel. That's even worse than admitting it was a hoax. After all they've been through! No – we've got to get them that money.'

‘What do you propose? Rob a bank?'

‘No – we'll wash cars, mow lawns, pool all our pocket-money – and then we'll invest it in a high-interest bank account. We'll have the money in no time.'

‘We?' says Danny.

‘What do you mean?'

‘You
made the call.'

‘You helped me.'

‘But it was your idea.'

‘You didn't say no.'

Danny hits himself on the head with his open palm. ‘Do you have any idea how many cars we'll have to wash to earn that much money?!'

The phone rings.

I pick it up.

‘Hello.'

‘Hi, could I speak to Andy Griffiths?'