Justice (8 page)

CHAPTER SIX

M
ACEY WALKED OUT of the hospital and to her car parked in the back. One more week finished and she had three blissful days off. She loved the fact she could complete a work week in four days, giving her so much time to herself. Keeping her purse close, she gripped the pepper spray on her key chain, unlocked her door, and checked the back seat before sliding inside and locking the doors again.

Starting the car, she headed towards home. Her phone rang as she pulled out of the parking lot. She answered it using her hands-free device. “Hello?”

“Hey, Mase.”

“Hi, Payton.” She glanced at the dashboard clock. “What are you doing calling me at almost midnight?”

Payton had been at her parents’ home watching her nieces all day and Macey was sure she’d have been comatose by now.

“I’m letting you know I’m not home,” Payton said. “Got caught up with something at Mom’s and didn’t want you to freak out.”

Macey stamped down the panic that flared up inside her. “Oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know.”

“I can come home now if you want to wait for me.”

“No, Pay. It’s fine. I’m so tired, I’ll probably just fall into bed.” She stopped at a red light.

“Are you sure?”

Macey shook her head, grateful Payton couldn’t see her. “Yep, it’s all good. You set the alarm, right?”

“I did. I walked the apartment twice, double-check every window, and everything’s locked up tight. Trevor’s on duty tonight.”

“Oh, good. He’s the best. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Call me when you get home and I’ll stay on the line with you.”

Macey smiled. “I’m okay, Pay.”

“Well, at least text me.”

“I will.”

“Thanks. ’Bye.”

“’Bye, Payton.” Macey hung up and took a deep breath as she approached her home.

She realized with great disappointment that Dallas hadn’t called her that evening. He’d left his usual message in the morning, but nothing lately, which made her worry. He could be on assignment, he could be hurt, he could be dead.

“Macey quit it,” she said out loud.

She pulled up to the gate of her parking garage and waved the key card over the reader. The gates slid open and she drove inside. Parking in her designated space, she climbed out of the car and locked it. She always got her phone ready to dial 9-1-1 whenever she left the safety of her vehicle, and she kept a finger on her pepper spray as she made her way to the elevator banks. Slipping into an open car, she hit the button to the lobby where she liked to talk to the security person before heading up to her apartment. The doors opened to reveal Dallas talking with Trevor, the night doorman.

“What are you doing here?” she asked.

Dallas grinned. “Payton might have mentioned something to Brock about you being alone tonight.”

“Aren’t you working?” she asked.

“It’s my night off.”

She sighed and stared up at the drop-dead gorgeous man. His dark hair was a little longer than it had been in the past, and his face had a day’s growth covering his jawline.

“You didn’t need to come over,” she said.

He shrugged. “I wanted to.”

She caught Trevor grinning and smiled at him. “Hi, Trevor.”

Trevor Tupou was a Tongan expat and the size of a small building. He was a math teacher by day and worked as security a few nights a week for what he called “fun.”

“Hey, Macey. How are you this fine night?” Trevor asked.

“I’m good. You’re letting all the riff-raff in, apparently?”

Trevor chuckled. “Only the ones with guns.”

“Looks like he’s my watch dog for the night,” she said.

“I’ll relax then,” Trevor retorted.

Macey chuckled. “I’ll believe it when I see it. Ready?” she asked Dallas.

“Lead the way, beautiful.”

She forced herself not to let his words settle deep as she led him to the main elevators and into one of the cars. If she did, it would give her hope, and she wasn’t ready for hope. He constantly told her how beautiful she was and how much he loved her, even with the scars, but she couldn’t bring herself to believe that his words weren’t out of obligation.

Once at her floor, she made the short walk to her apartment, unlocked the door, and pushed inside. The beep of the alarm sounded and she hit the code to disarm it as Dallas locked the door again.

“I’ll do a sweep, huh?” Dallas said.

“That would be great. Thanks.” Her heart calmed immediately. As silly as it was to even worry about such things, considering the fact her apartment was on the seventh floor, with no possible entry into it without scaling equipment, his words put her at ease. Dallas headed to the back of the apartment and Macey walked into the kitchen.

“Do you want a beer?” she called.

“Nah. I’ll just crash on your couch,” he said as he joined her. “All clear.”

“Thanks, Dal.”

He reached out to touch her, apparently thought better of it, and lowered his hand. He gave her a gentle smile and said, “I’ll see you in the morning.”

Macey nodded and headed back to her room. She dropped her purse on the chair by the bed and removed her scrubs, heading to the shower. Biting back tears of frustration as she climbed under the water, she counted to ten, then did a mental exercise to remind herself of the good things in her life. All tools her therapist gave her to help.

Macey forced her sadness aside. She still hadn’t given him the hug she’d discussed with Brock, but she hadn’t gone back on her word either. No other man had comforted her physically, and they wouldn’t. Not before Dallas. But since she didn’t believe they would ever have that again, she had to move forward. She couldn’t dwell in what could have been. It did her no good.

She turned off the water, dried off, and pulled on pajamas before climbing into bed. Hearing Dallas moving around in the other room was both comforting and saddening at the same time. She chose to dwell on the comfort and, with the knowledge that she was safe, she was confident that sleep would come quickly. “Goodnight,” she called.

“’Night, honey,” he called back.

* * *

In the living room, Dallas pulled off his boots and stretched out on Macey’s sofa. Dragging his hands down his face, he knew he’d have a tough time sleeping with her so close, but he’d deal. He’d done this before. Slept in her living room when Payton was gone. And he knew he’d do it again. They were making their way back to each other. Slowly, but it was happening, and he’d wait as long as it took.

He’d almost fallen asleep when her blood-curdling scream had him off the couch within seconds and rushing to her door. It was locked. “Damn it.”

She continued to scream and he was forced to do something he knew would bite him in the ass in the morning. He broke down the door and switched on the light on in her room. Macey was thrashing on in the middle of her bed, screaming ‘no’ at the top of her lungs. Her long, dark red hair still damp for her shower stuck to her face as she turned her head from side to side, living her nightmare out physically.

When she screamed, “Dallas,” he didn’t think, just reacted and wrapped his arms around her, earning himself nails down his face as she fought him. He pulled her hands away and held them above her head. “Mase. Babe, it’s me. It’s Dallas. Wake up, sweetheart. I’ve got you.”

She blinked her eyes open and then burst into tears. He released her and she looped her arms around his neck.

“Shhh, baby. I’m here. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

“Is it ever going to stop?” she sobbed against his neck.

“I hope so, honey. But it’s okay. I’ve got you.”

“I’m so sorry,” she whispered.

“For what?”

“For us. For everything.” She grimaced and laid a finger over his cheek. “And at the moment, for apparently scratching you.”

“Hey.” He cupped her chin. “You’ve got nothing to be sorry for.”

“I’m still sorry.”

“I know, baby.” He smiled. “Want me to stay in here?”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know I don’t. But I’m offering.”

She bit her lip. “You don’t mind?”

He pried her lip from her teeth. “I don’t mind.”

“Okay.”

Dallas stood and switched off the light, closing the door as best he could before sliding into the bed beside her. He pulled her against him, her back to his chest, and kissed her shoulder as he gave her a gentle squeeze. “Sleep, Macey. You’re safe.”

“You didn’t call.”

“What?”

“Tonight. You didn’t call.”

“I know, baby. Because I was coming here.”

She nodded. “Always call.”

“Huh?”

“I get worried when you don’t call.”

Dallas gave her another gentle squeeze. “Okay, baby. I’ll always call.”

CHAPTER SEVEN

M
ACEY AWOKE FEELING protected and warm, and realized why as she opened her eyes. She was sprawled on top of Dallas, him on his back, she covering most of his body. She had a hand under his T-shirt, flat against his chest, and he had an arm wrapped firmly around her waist keeping her close.

She licked her lips as she studied is sleeping face. The man really was gorgeous. She’d never seen anyone better looking and wondered if she’d ever get over him.

He smiled, his eyes still closed. “Are you going to stare at me all morning?”

She thrummed her fingers on his chest. “Maybe.”

Dallas opened his eyes and leaned forward to kiss her forehead. “God, baby, you’re gorgeous in the morning. Actually, you’re gorgeous all the time, but in the morning, especially.”

Macey frowned.

“Why are you frowning?” he challenged. “I just told you, you were beautiful.”

“Scarface, you mean.”

“Macey.” Dallas scowled. “Never say that again.”

“Why not? It’s true.”

“It’s not even close to true,” he said. “You can’t even see them anymore.”

“I can.”

He ran his finger gently across her face. She winced, but he didn't pull back.
“You have a few battle lines on your body that you should consider a badge of honor. You survived something horrific and you’ve come out the other side and that fact only makes you more beautiful.”

“Dallas,” she whispered, blinking back tears. “Why haven’t you found a nice girl to marry and settle down with?”

“Because none of them are you.”

“You are such a silly man,” she said with a sigh.

“In love with a silly woman,” he retorted.

“Can you be serious for even a second?”

“I
am
being serious, Mase, and I’ve made a decision.”

“Oh?” she asked.

“You and I are gonna try again.”

She pushed off of him and sat up, shaking her head. “No.”

“Yes.”

Sliding from the bed, she faced him. “Absolutely not.”

He grinned. “Why not?”

“Because I’m damaged goods, Dallas. You deserve better than a used up, ugly, and bitter woman.”

“Macey Jean Gilbert!” Dallas scowled as he knifed off the bed, walking around to her side. He sat down on the edge and pulled her between his legs. “Never say anything like that about yourself again. Hear me?”

“Dallas—”

“Do. You. Hear. Me?”

“But it’s true,” she whispered.

“It’s not true.” He squeezed her hands. “God, Mase! When did you become such a sad sack?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Honey, I’m sitting here telling you how much I love you and how beautiful you are, and you’re kind of acting like a spoiled little brat.”

“I’m just speaking the truth.”

“No you’re not.”

“Did you keep my voicemails?” he asked.

“What?”

“Did you keep my voicemails?”

She bit her lip. “Some of them.”

“
Some
of them?” he challenged.

“Shut up, Dallas, you don’t know me.”

He chuckled. “You kept all of them, didn’t you?”

“Yes,” she whispered.

“For the same reasons I called your phone twice a day. I needed to hear your voice. Remind myself that you loved me.” Dallas smiled gently. “So we’re gonna make this work.”

She sighed. “Dallas, if we try again, it won’t be a real relationship.”

“How so?”

“Because we won’t have sex! Ever. I can’t. The thought of being touched in any way makes me crazy.” Tears slipped down her cheeks. “It wouldn’t be fair to you.”

“Mase.” He smiled as he thumbed the wetness away. “What happened last night?”

She frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I touched you.”

“You did not.” She sniffed. “Not really.”

“Ah, yeah, I did. You slept in my arms all night.”

“So?”

“
So
, when’s the last time you slept through the night?” He raised an eyebrow. “Or let me hold you for more than five minutes, let alone eight hours?”

She bit her lip, but didn’t answer.

“Exactly,” he said. “You’re healing, Mase. You might not feel like you are, but things are changing.”

Macey dropped her head. “I can’t do this to you.”

“Do what to me?”

“Saddle you with a broken, sexless relationship.”

He lifted her chin. “Mase, we’re not broken. A little bent, maybe, but we have a solid foundation with a kick-ass friendship that started when we were kids.”

“I can’t make you abstain from sex,” she whispered.

“Baby, I’ve been abstaining from sex since our night together two years ago.” He smiled. “At least sex with someone other than myself.”

“What?”

He frowned. “You actually thought after having and losing you that I’d go trollin’ for someone else?”

“We only slept together once, Dallas. I would have understood.”

He waggled his eyebrows. “It might have been one night, baby, but it was a hell of a lot more than once.”

“Yes, yes, your prowess is unmatched,” she droned.

“Are you saying I’m that easy to forget?”

“What? No! I just figured you love it so much that you’d need it.”

“Fuck me, babe. What kind of man do you think I am?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Obviously,” he said. “Mase, you and I made a commitment. I have never wavered from that commitment.”

“I don’t think you can classify it as a commitment,” she countered. “We’d been together officially for less than a week before… well, before the incident.”

“So?” He smiled. “Look, you’re the one who retreated, for very valid reasons, but I love you, Macey. I’ve always loved you. Just because that piece of shit scumbag stole something from you didn’t change that.”

“I told you to move on.”

“And I didn’t listen,” he retorted. “Yes, I love sex. But I only love it with you. With anyone else, it’s simply been a way to get off. With you, it’s making love. I’ve never made love to anyone else before.”

Macey bit back tears. “Are you being serious right now?”

“You think I’m
joking
?”

She shook her head. “I just don’t want you to waste your time on something that I can’t ever give you.”

“Who says?”

“Dallas.”

“No, Mase. We’re gonna do this. I’m all in, baby. We’ll go slow and you’ll tell me if it’s too much, yeah?”

She blinked back tears. “I don’t know.”

“Why?”

“Because you scare me.”

“How do I scare you, Macey?”

“Because I still love you, and I’m afraid that I’ll let you in again and you’ll resent me for what I can’t give you.”

He grinned. “And there it is.”

She took a deep breath. She’d never verbalized that before. She’d thought it more than once, but never said it out loud. “Don’t go getting all smug. You’re not that smart, Dallas Stone.”

“No, you’re right. I’m a fuckin’ genius.”

She settled her hands on his shoulders and grimaced. “Can I think about it?”

“Nope.”

“What? Why not?”

“Because we’ve wasted years, Mase. If we’d been married, we would have worked on this together, but we weren’t and I stupidly gave you space when I should have closed ranks around you.” He gave her a sad, gentle smile. “You know I was going to propose.”

“What?” she squeaked.

“At Multnomah Falls. I had it all planned. Cheesy as this might sound, I had umbrellas at the ready, our friends were going to hike up to the bridge and open them to reveal “will you marry me?” and I was gonna get down on one knee. The whole deal.”

“You were?”

He wrapped his hand around the back of her neck and squeezed. “I was. I still have the ring and I’m gonna do it again. Just gotta figure out something spectacular.”

She did a faceplant into his chest. “Ohmigod.”

He kissed her hair. “We were both dealing with something that neither of us should have had to, but you and me, we’re gonna work on it together, because you and me are forever, Mase.”

She glanced up at him. “Dallas—”

“Macey, you love me.” Dallas smiled.

“Yes, but—”

“Do you love anyone else?” he asked.

“No, but—”

“It’s settled then.” He slid his feet to the floor, stood, and headed into her bathroom.

“Dallas,” she snapped, stomping her foot. “Stop talking over me!”

“Made my decision, Mase,” he called back.

She heard the toilet seat clank as he lifted it, and she flopped back onto her bed. When she heard him wash his hands, she turned her neck as he left the bathroom and walked back to the bed. He leaned over her and she immediately shifted and held her hands up as panic set in.

“You okay?” he asked.

“He. That’s how he…"

“Oh, babe, I’m sorry,” he said, shifting to lie beside her.

“No.
I’m
sorry.” Heat crawled up her neck as she covered her face with her hands. “See? This is why it will
never
work.”

“It
will
work, baby.” He gently pulled her arms down, releasing her instantly. “I won’t ever do that again. Okay? We’ll figure it out together.”

“I’m so irrational,” she complained. “It’s not like I think you’d ever rape me, Dallas, but with you over me like that, it just brought back memories. It’s stupid.”

“Look at me.” He waited until she did. “It’s not irrational or stupid. It’s how you feel and we’ll work on those feelings as they come.”

“There are a lot of feelings, Dallas… and they come more than I like.”

“You’re not scaring me away, babe.”

“Well, I’m not really trying. Give me a few days, you’ll run for the hills.”

“Not gonna happen.” He slid off the bed.