Justice Is a Woman (30 page)

Again he said, “Oh, Betty;’ and now he bowed his head deeply on to his chest as he

muttered, “ I was

drunk, stoned. “

“Yes, I should say you were.”

“There was a good reason, Betty.”

“Yes?”

“I ... I found out how the little girl died.”

When Betty didn’t speak he raised his head slightly and looked at her.

She had taken a seat by the side of the couch and she stared at him wideeyed as he said,

“Elaine. You

remember the black negligee ?

Well, the .. the boy saw her come into the room. He . he had his fingers splayed across his face like

this. “ He demonstrated.

“He couldn’t have realised who she was: the night light was low and ... and, as you know, she always

bade him good-night in her room; I don’t remember her ever going into that nursery after that first time.

He . he couldn’t have recognised her, what with the light

and the black clothes, and likely she had the collar turned up; but he saw her lift the side down, tip up

the mattress, and throw the child on to the floor. “

Betty didn’t cry, “No! No!” in loud denial at the voice of truth she had stilled since the time when she

herself had lifted the railed side of the cot down and asked herself how the boy could ever have managed

to move it out of its sockets; yet even so, against the voice of truth, part of her mind had cried, “Oh no!

No! Elaine? No! No!” It was unthinkable.

“What am I to do, Betty?”

She gave him no answer, because whatever she might suggest she knew he would take

his own line with

regard to his wife. And so she asked quietly, “Martin will ... will the treatment do him any good?”

“I think so. Under hypnosis the doctor told him he would never have any more

nightmares.”

“It was as simple as that?”

“Yes. But at the same time it was ... well, something inexplicable, something beyond

reason.”

Joe bowed his head again now and he muttered as if to himself, “It isn’t only the fact that she could do it,

Betty, but ... but that she put the burden on the boy, knowing that some day someone who had heard

Nellie Mclntyre’s version of the affair but then, not only hers; there was Ella’s and Duffy’s and Mary’s

too someone somewhere would throw it at him, saying, you killed your little sister when you were four. I

could kill her myself for that. If she was here now, I just don’t know what I would do to her. I

remember I

thanked God yesterday she was away, for I would have been straight home, and God only knows what

I would have done to her. “

She was now looking at her hands, the fingers picking at each other on her lap as she said, “Well, if you

rid him of the stigma by telling him the truth, what is he going to think of his mother? I should imagine his

next state would be worse than his first, because he’s very fond of her. Naturally he’s very fond of her.”

“He’s not, not really.” His words were clipped, his voice harsh and, her eyes widening in surprise, she

said, “How can you say that?”

“Because I know. I’m not the only one she’s frustrated. Anything he’s really wanted to do she’s put a

stop to: he’s very fond of Elizabeth but he mustn’t speak to her; he’s also very fond of David and Hazel

but he mustn’t go into their house. Well, from now on, all that is going to be changed. No matter what I

do about this, all that is going to be changed.” Of a sudden now he covered his face with his hands as he

groaned, “God! God! I just can’t believe it. She’s so delicate, so frail-looking, yet she can tip a child

out of its cot.”

Betty took one long deep breath before she said, “You mustn’t forget that it wasn’t an ordinary child

and ... and that she gave birth to it.”

“That makes it worse.” He was looking at her now.

“Don’t you see that makes it all the worse? I was its father, but I didn’t want it to die.”

“But you wished it hadn’t been born. You wished it wasn’t there. Now, now, Joe’ she

lifted her hand

z93

—’don’t deny it, please, because I myself wished it time and time again, I wished it

wasn’t there. And I

think you will agree I had more to do with it than either you or she. In its helplessness I should have

grown to love it. That’s what you’re supposed to do, but I couldn’t. I did what I had to do for it, but

when I knew it was dead I felt nothing but relief. And if you were to speak the truth you would say the

same . At the time it didn’t matter to me how she had gone;

she was gone. “

He stared at her, his mouth slightly open, and said, “I ... I thought you cared for her ...”

‘ Oh, Joe’ she moved her head slowly at him “I had compassion for her and pity, and I cared for her

needs, but if you mean loving, let me ask you something: did you love her? You were her father.”

Again he had his head bowed, and he lifted it sharply as she sneezed, and when he saw her shudder, he

said, “You’re cold.”

She didn’t answer, but turned to the fire and poked it into a blaze, then added some logs.

Yes, she was cold. She was cold and sick to the heart of her. At this moment she longed with a deep

longing to be out of this house and in the room that was always kept ready for her at Lady Mary’s. She

was tired of everything and everyone here. What was there in life here for her, after all?

Nothing but

work and frustration. And now every time she looked at her sister she would see her

letting down the

side of the cot, tipping up the mattress, and hurling her helpless child to the floor.

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“You mean to say you condone it?” Joe said.

“Agree with it, condone it, use whatever term you like’ Mike nodded at Joe ‘if you want my opinion, it’s

the only good thing she’s ever done in her life.”

“You must be joking.”

“I’m not joking, lad. That thing she gave birth to was a monstrosity.

Just think, it could be alive now, this very day; its body would have grown, and just imagine what it

would have looked like:

a thing with no mind, ‘cos it had no mind. That’s what you’ve got to remember, its mind was blank.

No’ Mike moved his head wildly from shoulder to shoulder ‘you haven’t staggered me,

lad, with your

news.

And if you take my advice you’ll let sleeping dogs lie. If, as you say, the boy’s going to be all right, you

should be thankful. “

“Be thankful?” Joe’s voice was grim.

“Be thankful that my wife could do a thing like that?”

Mike now leaned forward in his chair and said quietly, “I’ve never liked her, you know that well enough,

not from the day I clapped eyes on her. When I saw her coming in that door there, I

thought, oh my

God! not the same type as

bewitched me. But aye, she was. As I’ve told you afore, she was the double of your

mother. And you

know it’s been proved, lad, right up to this very minute, because she doesn’t only take after her in looks

but in character, too. Just think, lad, if your mother could have lifted a cot rail down and flung somebody

we both know onto the floor, my God!

she would have done it. Now I’m not going to say that what Elaine’s done is going to

make me like her,

because I never could, yet I’m going to give her credit for courage. And don’t you forget, lad, when

you’re condemning her, that she had to pay for her courage, for as I see it, a breakdown is something to

contend with. And that’s what caused the first lot. Why she should go off the rails again because you

brought young Elizabeth into the nursery. God alone knows. But I suppose when you’re

in that state any

frustration will knock you back.

Anyway, there it is. If you want my advice you’ll let things go on as they’ve been going on for years.

The only other course of action is divorce, and that’s a mucky word to me. And anyway, you’ve got

nothing on her to bring that about. “

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.”

Now Mike screwed up his eyes as he stared at Joe and said quietly, “No?”

“No. Can you see her traipsing regularly to London merely to do the shopping and stay with her uncle

? She wouldn’t put herself out to stay with that old fellow unless it was for her own purpose, and I know

what that purpose is.”

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“Aye?”

“It’s over two years ago now that Marcus saw her in a restaurant with a man”

“Well, that isn’t much to go on.”

“Wait a minute. He was up there for a week’s conference, Marcus, I mean. The third time he came

across them he made himself known and she had to introduce the fellow. Marcus

mightn’t have thought

too much about it even then if she hadn’t said that the man was an old friend and they had just met that

day.”

Mike let out a long breath as he said, “Friends are always helpful, I’ll say that for them.”

“I don’t blame Marcus for telling me, and it didn’t upset me. Well’ he turned his head to the side ‘the

fact that I was being gulled did, but where my feelings were concerned, no. You once

said I would have

a slow awakening; you were right; but now my eyes are wide open, having been finally

unglued some

time back when I came across letters from him.”

“Came across?”

“Yes, I said, came across, after I had looked. She keeps the desk in the sitting-room locked these

days, but I have a number of keys. Those letters alone would give me a divorce.”

“Who is the fella? Do you know of him?”

“Oh, I know of him; she threw him up at me once or twice in the beginning. From what I pieced

together they should have been married.

I think she came to me on the rebound. Anyway, now he is married and has a family. “

“My God! the things that happen in this house. You know’ Mike turned his face towards the window

‘this has never been a happy house, and yet, in a way, I’ve always loved it, sort of wanted to look after

it.

I was wondering the other day just how much longer we’ll be able to hang on to it. “ He turned now

and looked at Joe.

“It worries me that, among other things, lad, the fact that it might have to go.”

“Oh, it won’t come to that.”

“How can you be sure, if Baxter’s out-box us, so to speak, and with orders fading away?”

“We’ve still got our capital.”

“The capital will soon vanish, lad, if it’s got to boost a dying firm.”

“Don’t worry; I won’t let it get that far; we’ll sell out first.”

“My God!” Mike wiped the spittle from the corner of his mouth ‘what things have come

to after a

lifetime of striving. It’s unbelievable. But anyway, to get back to where we were. What are you goin’ to

say to her when she gets back? “

“I’ll have to think about it.”

“Aye, you do that, and try and think on it calmly. But what we both have to think about in the meantime

is, how is Betty? She’s got a cold on her. And is it any wonder ? How in the name of God she got you

up that bank and home, I don’t know.”

“Neither do I.”

“Is she in bed?”

“No; she’s lying on the couch in the drawing—room.”

“Well, if she gets no better I should ring the doctor.”

“Yes, I had thought about doing that.” Mike turned in his chair and watched Joe walking towards the

door and he said, quietly, “The next time you decide to get bloody drunk, lock yourself in your room.”

And Joe answered, “Yes, I’ll do that an’ all, and it could be tonight.”

The doctor was called in to Betty on the Tuesday morning. Her temperature was a

hundred and three,

and he pronounced that she had a bad dose of bronchitis. During the day, her condition became worse,

and Mary, meeting Joe as he entered the house, said to him, “Miss is real bad. I’m

worried;

I think the doctor should come again. That’s not just bronchitis, it’s pneumonia, if ever I’ve seen it. “

When Dr. Pearce arrived through slush and rain at eight o’clock that evening he

confirmed Mary’s

diagnosis; Betty had pneumonia, but he said they were not to worry; if Joe would send his man down he

would give him some medication for her and some linctus to ease her breathing and

cough, and he would

look in again first thing next morning.

By Friday everybody in the house knew that Betty was seriously ill.

Her fever was still raging and her breathing was still very laboured.

Joe went to the factory for an hour in the morning, then returned straight home. Twice during the day he

phoned London, but there was no reply from the Hughes-Burton house.

After putting the phone down for the third time

he went into the dining-room and poured himself out a stiff measure of whisky, and as he sipped at it he

told himself that if Elaine didn’t come home that night he’d have to engage a nurse,

because they couldn’t

go on like this much longer. Everybody in the house was tired: Mary and Ella were worn out; even his

father had struggled down from his attic abode to sit by Betty’s side, his face grim, his eyes wide with

anxiety.

Joe walked to the window with the glass in his hand and looked up into the sky. It was low and

leaden-coloured. The garden was leaden-coloured, the house was leaden-coloured, his

life was leaden

coloured

What if she died?

He turned abruptly and sat down, pushing his glass along a table;

then, dropping his elbows on to his knees, he gripped his hands together and leaned his body over them

and said to himself, “No, no, she won’t. She’s strong, is Betty, she’s strong.” But

contradicting this