Justify My Thug (6 page)

I looked over at Tasha and asked, “Why? I expected so much more out of you.”

She stared at me for a while before she stood up, still crying. She came over to me, laid her head on my shoulder and cried long and hard. I let her get that off her chest as my thoughts drifted to my own issues. I heard Trae ask if they had a pact to each fuck a friend. That question now replaced the top issue on my list. Did Red know that Tasha and Kyron was creepin' around? If she did, she was getting her walking papers. If I couldn't trust her, then she had to go.

“Tasha, what were you thinking?” She wouldn't stop that crying shit. “Aiight then. Well tell me this, did Angel know?”

“I told you already. No. You need to believe and trust your wife.”

“Well, Trae said he wasn't in a relationship with that Chinese chick. It was business. Nothing personal. Why don't you believe and trust your husband?”

“I did. But it's too late now. I'm pregnant, Kaylin.”

“It's not too late. Get rid of the baby. I'ma tell you, just like I told my brother, somebody's going to get hurt. Did Kyron tell you about his girl, Mari?” She looked up at me, got up and stormed to the bathroom. I got the effect that I was looking for. When she came back she had regained her composure.

“Who is Mari?”

“His woman. She was doin' his last seven years holdin' him down. He never mentioned her to you?”

“No. He didn't.”

“Well he should have. They've been together for years. She travels around the country a lot. You need to know that shit. You need to stop fuckin' with him and fix your marriage.”

She turned around and headed for the kitchen. I heard her slamming shit around.

Trina appeared from the back. “Is she alright?”

I looked at this thirsty bitch and frowned. “Why you ain't have your sister's back? If you had her best interest in mind you wouldn't have let her fuck up her marriage like this. What was in it for you?” This bitch started pacing back and forth. Then she stopped in front of me.

“Shit was fine as long as it was Trae who was the one fuckin' up. All y'all hypocritical niggas is the same.”

“I'm not talking about Trae or other niggas. I'm talking about you having your sister's back.”

“Listen to me Kay, what started out innocent, spiraled out of control. At first Tasha was trying to hook
me
up with Kyron. But Kyron wasn't feelin' me like that. He was feelin' her. So he hooked me up with Kendrick. I didn't pay them much mind because I was sure that nothing was going to come out of it. I never thought that she would fuck him, Kay, and I damn sure ain't tell her to.”

I could only shake my head in disbelief. I didn't know what the fuck was on Kyron's mind. “Well, if Tasha and Trae aren't able to get their shit back on track, you need to know that you played a big role in fuckin' up their family. I'm out.” I got up and left.

“Good riddance,” I said as I slammed the door after Kaylin. Gonna come up in my house and look at me as if I was a piece of shit. Like I told him, I didn't know shit would get serious between Kyron and Tasha. Tasha is a grown ass woman and she had already told me that she wanted a divorce and was done with Trae. I didn't believe her until she started fucking Kyron.
And that shit happened so fast, just like he didn't see it coming, neither did I. I was so caught up with getting to know Kendrick that when I looked up, Trae and Kaylin were at my front door. Well, that last part ain't totally true. Kyron did call and tell me he and Kendrick were coming.

Thinking about Kendrick made me want to get a pulse on how serious shit was, so I grabbed my cell to call him when Tasha came rushing out of the kitchen like a maniac. She was peeking around, I guess to make sure that everyone was gone, then she started rippin' me a new asshole.

“Bitch, you know most of this shit is all your fault, don't you? If you wasn't so busy being sneaky, this shit would not have happened. You could have told me that Kyron and Kendrick were coming over. All of this here could have been avoided. Now look. How could you do this, to me, Trina? Next time mind your fucking business. Let me handle my own shit. Stay the fuck out of mine! I should put my foot in your ass!”

There was nothing I could say. I definitely wasn't about to tell her that Kyron gave me five hundred dollars to keep quiet and to make sure I kept her over at my apartment. She was getting ready to cuss me out some more, or like she said, whip my ass, when there was a knock at the door. She stood frozen in place. I was not moving to answer it. I simply sat back and did like she told me … mind my own fuckin' business.

I was itchin' for Trina to say the wrong thing so that I could light that ass up. But when someone knocked on the door I panicked because the first person I thought of was Kyron. I made my way
to the door and put the chain on it. I put my eye to the keyhole and didn't see anyone. I asked, or more like snapped, “Who is it?” When no one responded I cracked the door. When I saw it was Kyron I went to close it but he stopped the door with his foot.

“Tasha, wait.” He grabbed my hand. “I just needed to know that you're alright. You were crying when I left. Did he put his hands on you?” He grabbed my chin and was trying to look over my face through the crack in the door.

“Now is not the time Kyron and don't come here anymore.”

“Tasha, come on now. Bullshit aside. You carryin' my seed.” He then had the nerve to tell me, “We in this shit together. So I think we need to talk. Come back to the city with me.”

I almost lost it. All of this drama
I've
been through in the last forty eight hours and he's talking about we in this together? He got me twisted. “Kyron, I am not fucking with you like that anymore. As a matter of fact, go talk to Mari because me and you don't have shit to talk about.”

“I don't mess with Mari anymore and we
do
have shit to talk about. You are carrying
my
seed, Tasha. Since we can't undo what went down between us we need to map things out. I'm not going to let you go through this alone. So, you either let me in and we talk now or pack your shit and come back with me.”

I turned around and started towards the bedroom. I was not having this conversation with him. And then I heard
BOOM!
I turned around and this nigga had kicked the front door in. That little cheap ass chain didn't have a chance. Trina had the nerve to be sitting there on the couch trying not to laugh. I swear I was two seconds away from knocking out her front teeth.

“Tasha! Come here!” Kyron yelled as if he was my father. I closed the bedroom door and locked it.

“Kyron, get the fuck out of here. I am not opening the door.” I rested my back against it and grabbed my head. I wanted to pull my hair out.

“You want me to kick it down?”

Damn.
I thought about the front door and I snatched this one open. “Kyron, please. Not now. Trae could come back any minute.”

“Then stop fuckin' around, get your shit and let's go.”

“I can't Kyron. Not now.” My heart rate was on speed dial. I had to get him out of there before Trae Macklin came back. But this nigga had the nerve to sit down on the bed and look as if he was going to get comfortable. “Kyron, please. Okay. I'll come to the city, but not today.”

“Then when?”

“Give me a day or two.”

He looked at me as if he didn't believe me.

“I need a little more time to sort some things out, Kyron.” I grabbed his hand. “C'mon you need to go. I'll see you in a day or two.”

He pulled me to him and gave me a hug. “I just need to be sure that you are going to be alright and don't do nothing stupid.”

“What do you mean stupid?” I pulled back.

“Like get an abortion stupid.”

I simply looked at him. I had already figured out that's the reason he was sweating me so hard. He wanted this baby. But at this moment I honestly had no idea what I was going to do. Hell, this shit happened so fast, I didn't have the chance to think about anything. “I need a day or two. We can talk then.”

He took the bait and left.

“… if you want your wife, I suggest you give me my muthafuckin' dough right now.”

I looked over at the driver's seat and saw that Mook now had a gun pressed up against Kyra's head. I didn't know if this clown was serious, so I had to roll the dice and call his bluff.

“Mook, get that fuckin' burner away from my wife.”

“I'm telling you, Blue, he's going to split her wig, just give me my dough. You owe me nigga,” Junie spat.

“I don't owe you shit, nigga! That was years ago. And here you are pressing me about some fuckin' chump change? Why you pressin' me about that shit?” This muthafucka was starting to get under my skin.

“Stop haggling, Marvin. Just give the nigga the money,” Kyra blurted out as she slid me my piece.

“Listen to your wife,” Junie said.

“Babygirl, these pussies ain't going to shoot nobody, not like I will.”
Pow!
I shot Junie in the stomach. “See. That's how you do that. I didn't
even have to get out. Put the car in reverse babygirl and let's get the fuck out of here.”

As soon as I said that Fish jumped out of his ride and started waving at me. “Hold up babygirl,” I said to Kyra and she stopped the car. I hopped out. Fish snatched the gun out of a frozen Mook's hand and put a bullet in his head.

“Pussy muthafucka.” He clenched his teeth as he watched him slump to the ground.

I started laughing. “Fish, nigga, where did you get these pussy muthafuckas from?”

He shrugged. “That's what happens when you send a boy to do a man's job.” Fish pointed his gun at Kyra and shot her in the head.
Boom! …

“N-o-o-o-o-o!” I shot straight up in my bed and looked around the darkened bedroom. It took me a minute to regain my equilibrium and realize that I was having the same nightmare again. A nightmare that was also my reality. My chest was soaking wet with perspiration, my forehead, too. Rising from the bed, I walked into the bathroom and ran water in the sink. Then I splashed water all over my face. Looking in the mirror, I was ashamed at the person I was seeing. I am a man who abandoned his wife and left her for dead. My past had gotten her shot in the head and what did I do? I ran.

I ran and got high. Got high and ran. I ran all the way until I ended up in Kentucky. High off the heroin, my clouded mind convinced me that me and my daughter could just go on with our lives. Kyra was gone and there was nothing I could do about it. But then came the nightmares and the dream. Every night I had one or the other or both. In the dream, Kyra would be standing a few feet away holding Aisha's hand and staring at me. It was the stare
mixed with the look of disappointment on her face that haunted me most. Aisha would be trying to tell me something, but I could never hear her. Then the sun would start shining so bright that I could no longer see either of them. I'd then hear Aisha's voice as I looked away from the overbearing sunlight. That's when I would wake up. I could never hear what my daughter was saying.

A few months after settling into Kentucky, I got a call from my cousin Lo, telling me that Junie, the dude that I shot in the stomach, was out of the hospital and hiding out. I left my daughter with a babysitter and headed for Cali. It took me two days to find June. He told me that Kyra was dead, then I killed him with my bare hands. His weakened condition made him no match for my strength. Then, like a thief in the night, I came back to Kentucky. I got high as a kite the night I returned and placed a call to Trae. I lied to him and told him that Kyra was okay and chillin'. I told him that we were in Florida while I rehabbed. But the entire conversation I could hear the doubt in his voice. For some reason I became very afraid. That fear in conjunction with my nightmares and dreams made me kick my dope habit. I was sure that it was the heroin that had me feeling like a pussy. So that very next night, I kicked it cold turkey. And when I did, I saw things for what they were—I had fucked up and I had fucked up bad. My wife was gone and now my daughter wanted to go.

I walked down the hall to Aisha's room and peeped in on her. She was all that I had left. I loved her with all my heart but everyday that passed, she was becoming more difficult to handle. Her questions were too complex for me to answer: “Daddy, why did we move here? Where is my mommy? Is she dead? Why was her head bleeding? Why did we leave her, daddy? Are you going
to leave me too?” She always looked at me with disappointment on her face when my answers couldn't satisfy her.

Aisha, being the spittin' image of Kyra, didn't help my situation at all. Yesterday, I discovered that she snuck and called Tasha. I didn't know how many times she'd called. I was mad at her at first, but then I empathized with her. She missed her mother. She missed her Auntie Tasha and the rest of who she knows as her family. My gut was telling me that letting Tasha take her for a while would be the best thing. I needed to put her well-being first.

I had to make a difficult decision. I knew how close Kyra and her girls were. It's been months since they've talked to each other. Add the call that Aisha made, and I know that trouble is brewing on the horizon. The girls are going to press somebody and before long that somebody is going to come looking for me.

No … he did … not … just push me away! That little stunt sobered my ass right on up. I wanted to crawl under a rock. Then he added salt to the wound by yelling, “Get the fuck away from me! What the fuck makes you think I want to hug you?” His face was all contorted and he looked appalled.