Kadenburg Revealed (The Kadenburg Shifters Series, Book 4) (10 page)

Arnold seemed surprised when she pulled away from him-and God, it took everything in her to do just that.  Her bear immediately growled in protest as she pushed herself up from the couch and stumbled as far away from him as possible.  This couldn’t happen, not now or ever.  She would not allow her guard to go down only to be hurt again. 

Sometimes it really sucked to have such power over a man.  There was no real way to know if his intentions were honest or not; for all she knew, he would say anything at this point to get her into bed and that wasn’t a chance she was willing to take.

He smells so good,
her bear whispered. 
Do you smell how much he craves you?

Natalie didn’t want to smell it.  She couldn’t let herself get caught up in the dizzying, rock-your-world lust that was known to happen between an ursithrope and she-bear.  It just wasn’t a risk she wanted to take because if she did end up sleeping with him she knew there was a chance she’d never want to get out of his bed.

“Natalie....”

“Just stay there.” She pleaded in a smaller voice.  Her back was pressed firmly against the wall on the other side of the room now and her eyes stayed glued to him as he stood from the couch.  God, he was everything a man should be.  He was tall, strong, handsome, and that smell.....

Stop smelling him,
she begged her mind. 
Stop losing yourself in his scent right this minute!  It won’t end well!  He’ll hurt you!

He will not hurt us again,
her bear promised. 
Trust him.

I can’t. 
Tears welled up in her eyes and her cheeks became wet with those salty droplets as they escaped. 
I trusted him once before and all that got me was humiliation and heartache.  I ran because of him.

No, you did not run because of him.  You ran because it is what Urseth desired.  Everything has happened for a reason.  We were meant to distract the wolf and keep him away from our home.  Don’t you see?

See what?
Natalie’s mind was racing as her heart ached.  It was pounding so hard and fast that it felt like the stupid thing would jump out of her chest at any given second.  God, was she going to have a heart attack?

We are home now.  This is our place.  We have been accepted once more and he is finally realizing that he is meant to be with us.  Don’t push him away.  Please don’t push our mate away.  We have waited so long for this.....

But I was not his first choice!
Natalie screamed at her bear as fear became anger and her bottom lip quivered. 
He wanted the human!  He blames me for everything.

Yet here he is asking for your forgiveness for his mistakes.  Things are different now and he wants to make up for lost time.  Can you not forgive him, Natalie?  Can you not forgive yourself?

And just like that, it felt like Natalie had been punched in the gut.  Everything hurt and it was unbearable.  She closed her eyes, listening to Arnold’s voice as it sounded from somewhere in the distance.

Can I not forgive myself?
She repeated.  For what, exactly?  Did she seek forgiveness for doing only as her god asked?  Did she want to somehow redeem herself for having those memories taken from her?  What was it that she needed to be released from?  Which weight was heavier on her heart?

“Natalie,” Arnold whispered.  His hands fell to rest against her waist and she trembled from the realization of how close he was again.  Why did he keep doing this?  She was trying to keep away.  She was trying to do everything he asked of her and he turned around only to do the opposite!  “What do I have to do to make this better?”

“Let me go, Arnold,” Natalie said breathlessly as his face leaned in closer to hers.  “This is not what you want.  I am not what you want.”

“I have never wanted anything more,” he promised.

“You are only saying that because your bear wants mine.  If you could see....”

“I do not have to see to know what I feel,” Arnold stated hoarsely.  “I did love Meredith more than anyone will ever understand.”  Ouch.  It hurt when he brought her up like that.  Decade-old feelings were unearthed when he forced her to go back in time with such statements.  She didn’t want to think about how devastated she’d been to learn the mate she wanted did not reciprocate her feelings.....

“Please stop,” she begged, pushing her palms against his chest.  “Arnold, we can’t keep doing this.”

“Then let’s stop doing it.  Stop trying to push me away, Natalie.  I made a mistake.  We have all made mistakes but ain’t that what makes us more like humans?”

She couldn’t argue with him there.  He was absolutely right.  Everyone made mistakes.  They all had a mile-long list of poorly thought through choices, but none could possibly be greater than the one she faced now.

We want him,
her bear observed. 
Take him.

I cannot....

We deserve this.  We deserve happiness after years of living with that monster.  Arnold is good.  Don’t you want cubs?

More than anything,
she confessed as her heart swelled at the thought.  She wasn’t getting any younger.  The opportunity of watching Presley grow up had been robbed from her-but at least she could watch that cub come into the world......

We want our own cubs!
Her bear insisted. 
He will give us that.  He will give us everything we have ever wanted.

Shut up!
Natalie pleaded as she buried her face against Arnold’s chest and cried.  She didn’t know what else to do.  The dam was breaking once more and the years of pint up pain, anger, and sadness would exit her body in any form it could.

“It’s all right.” Arnold whispered as his fingers ran through her hair.  He was trying to comfort her but Natalie didn’t feel like she deserved it.  Whatever had caused him to have a change of heart had to be wrong.  Presley’s dreams had to be wrong.  She had done this to herself.  She had willingly gone with Breslin because she was angry for being rejected.  She only spared Presley’s life because of the baby’s heartbeat.

What was she supposed to believe?

“W
e need to talk,” Presley stated matter-of-factly as she pulled down the blankets and eased onto the mattress.

“Uh oh,” Lorcan eyed her suspiciously as he tugged his shirt over his head and tossed it into the hamper near the door.  “I’m not sure that’s a good thing.”

“It’s not bad,” Presley promised as she patted the spot beside her.  “I just want to make sure I understand this Yliana business.”

Lorcan nodded his head in understanding as he unbuttoned his jeans and pushed them down.  They pooled around his feet and he stepped out of them before joining her in bed.  His massive frame easily towered over hers as he grinned.

“What is it that you can’t quite figure out, Darlin’?” He asked.  “My mom tends to get a little excited when she talks about that stuff, though I have no idea why she brought it up tonight.  How is Louisa anyway?”

“Sleeping,” Presley nodded.  “She’s so brokenhearted.  I feel bad for her.”

His expression became serious as he lifted an eyebrow.  “Do you want me to beat him up?”

He had no idea if beating Greg up would make the situation better, but he couldn’t really wrap his head around it either.  How in the hell was an ursithrope capable of cheating?  He’d never known of a bear straying away from his mate.

“It just doesn’t add up,” Presley frowned, eyeing him.  “And no, don’t you dare.  If anybody is going to smack some sense into that boy it’s going to be me.”

Lorcan laughed lightly and leaned back against his pillow, gazing at Presley affectionately.  Even when she ran off to Florida to be with that idiot and his body screamed for him to chase her down; he didn’t.  They weren’t mates
yet
and there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.  Maybe that was the case for Louisa and Greg, too?  They weren’t technically mates and even though females usually did the sowing of the oats thing (as weird as that sounded), he needed to keep in mind that Greg wasn’t fully ursithrope anymore.  Maybe his wolf had something to do with it.....

“Oh my gosh, you’re right,” Presley’s eyes widened as she heard his thoughts.  “That’s what’s happened, isn’t it?  Greg can’t be faithful to Louisa because of his wolf.  Ugh!”  She smacked her palm against the bed and growled.  “Oh, you wait until I see him....”

“Now wait just a minute,” Lorcan scratched at his chiseled jawline thoughtfully.  “If that’s the case and wolves can’t be faithful..explain Dimitri to me.”

“What about him?” Presley frowned.  Her green eyes became clouded with confusion as she stared at Lorcan and he simply shrugged his shoulders.

“Dimitri seems like he was pretty damned loyal to Liam, don’t you think?”

“Dimitri is the exception,” Presley argued.  “He’s rare.”

“He’s the exception in everything it seems,” Lorcan sighed and fell back against the bed.  His eyes wandered over the ceiling as he traced his tongue over his lower lip and stretched his legs out.  “But I agree with you.  He’s rare....there’s just something about him.”

Lorcan liked Dimitri.  Sure, they’d had their differences and their first meeting had gone a little more roughly than Dimitri probably wanted, but now they were closer and Lorcan had to admit he wasn’t such a bad guy.  It didn’t matter what Dimitri shifted into when his emotions got the better of him; he’d loved Liam with everything he had and that was good enough for Lorcan.

“Dimitri is kind,” Presley whispered as she snuggled against him and closed her eyes.  “I hope Rutley remains kind, too.....”

As his mate’s thoughts wandered back to the conversation she’d had with his mother, Lorcan couldn’t help but to frown.  He knew what the werewolves had done to the daughters of Tessa.  He’d heard all of those stories before-tales of legend that every ursithrope was meant to take to heart; lessons that made father bears want to hold their daughters a little closer.

If Lorcan ever had a daughter, he would never let a man hurt her.  He’d kill for his babies.

Presley was listening to his thoughts again.  She lifted her head again and gazed at him with sparkling emerald hues.  Sometimes she was just too much for him, in the best of ways, and made him feel like a teenaged boy discovering girls all over again.  Hell, she was the only girl he’d ever wanted to look at when they were younger anyway.

“You’re going to be an amazing father, Lorcan Bamey,” she whispered, leaning in to press a kiss against his cheek.  “I’m grateful our son will have you.”

“You’ve got it all wrong, Darlin’,” Lorcan couldn’t contain his ridiculously big smile as he gathered her in his arms, pulling her closer to himself.  “He’s gonna be lucky to have a mama bear like you.”

He could feel the heat in her cheeks and there was a certain feeling of pride he got every time he achieved making her blush.  Presley was too damn adorable for her own good and he loved the hell out of her for it.

It was a shame Greg had ruined his chances with Louisa.

“Mm, it’s going to be okay,” Presley whispered as she traced the tiny tips of her equally tiny toes over his leg. “We’re going to talk to him and figure this all out.”

“What happened to hitting him?” Lorcan chuckled

“Oh, I’ll still hit him....I just need to know why.  Louisa is devastated and I don’t know how to make it better for her.  Her emotions are too overwhelming for me right now.”

Lorcan knew all about Louisa’s past.  The fact she’d allowed Greg to get so close to her was a really big deal.  He couldn’t imagine having a mate-to-be and losing her...

Oh, wait.  Yes he could.  He’d almost lost Presley more than once.

“I’m sorry,” Presley whispered as her hand fell lightly against his chest.  “I never should’ve left, Lorcan.  I should’ve followed my instincts with you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he murmured as his large fingers curled around her delicate hand.  “You didn’t know about us, Pretz.  You just wanted out and I can’t blame you for that.  I would’ve waited until the end of time for you to find your way back to me.”

“You’re too sweet.”

“You’re too sweet,” he smirked, rolling over suddenly and pinning her against the mattress.  “And we’re incredibly off-topic; what do you want to ask me about Yliana?”

“Oh, right,” Presley’s cheeks flushed as she smiled shyly.  “When she was talking about the swans I was wondering how they became ursithropes in the first place.  How did they transition from one creature to another?  Why is it that I haven’t sprouted feathers and gained a sudden craving for swimming?”

“Ah,” Lorcan laughed in that deep baritone voice of his as he leaned in to press a kiss against her lips.  “I think I might be able to answer that for you.”

He knew Presley was curious as he pulled away from her, very reluctantly, and made his way to the top drawer of their dresser.  He pulled it open and pushed around a few pairs of socks before he grabbed the small white box hidden near the back.  He returned to the bed and the mattress groaned beneath his weight as he twisted his body enough to look at her.  “Come here.”

Presley moved onto her hands and knees and crawled to him then, her eyes landing on the box before one perfect little eyebrow lifted on her forehead.  He could hear the series of thoughts being thrown his way.

“It’s something I bought for you.” He answered one of the questions as he carefully pulled the lid off.  He kept his palm over it though.  He wasn’t ready for her to see it just yet. 
This
was a big deal to him.  It was just as important as proposing marriage in his opinion and he needed it to be perfect.

“For me?” Presley tilted her head to the side and long golden curls tumbled over her shoulder.  It took every ounce of strength he had to keep from tackling her to the bed and making love-Urseth, she made life hard sometimes.

“Yes,” he grinned.  “When Yliana presented her daughters to the warriors, she made them promise to be kind and loving.  They were to cherish those girls for the remainder of their lives and give them nothing but happiness.  As you know, Thomas and the other warriors agreed to that.  Urseth agreed to it, too.”