Kakadu Sunset (19 page)

‘Ellie. Calm down. I have no idea why you are so upset. I’m putting in a dam. If you’ve flown over, you’ll have seen for yourself how dry the paddocks are.’

‘Don’t lie to me. I’ve just come from there. I met your wife. God only knows why you’ve left her down there on her own. She obviously has no idea what you’re up to, but I’m not a fool. My mother has said for years that you were after the place, even before Dad . . . died.’

‘Ellie. You’re seeing shadows where there are none. My wife is a sick woman. I don’t know what she told you, and I don’t know what you
think
you’ve seen, but –’

‘I’m going public with it. I don’t care if I have to go on Territory television or radio, or both, I’ll do it.’

‘Don’t be silly. Let me come and see you. I can explain everything. There’s no point stirring up a media frenzy and then be made to look like a fool.’ His voice was wheedling.

‘Too late, Panos. You’ve already lied to me twice.’

‘Ellie, stop. Give me a chance. You know I was your father’s best mate. I wouldn’t do anything to hurt your family.’

‘What are you talking about? It’s not my family I’m worried about.’

‘Listen.’ A tinge of desperation laced his voice. ‘I did the right thing by your mother when your father died. I deserve the chance to explain. Let me come to see you.’

‘When and where?’

‘I’ll be down at the farm next weekend. I’ll meet you then. Okay?’

‘All right.’

‘Give me your number. And I’ll call you.’

Ellie recited her number and pressed end without saying goodbye.

The drive back from Jabiru seemed to take so much longer than the trip there, and by the time she got back it was dark. She stood at the window of the tiny kitchenette in her staff apartment and trickled water into the tray of herbs on the windowsill. It was a wonder these plants were alive the way she neglected them. Not that she needed to grow them – she ate in the bistro most nights – but just the fact that she could tend to something growing filled the empty void in her.

The propagation and nurturing of the small pots reminded her of the days when she and Dad used to hover over the seed trays in the old shed, waiting for the first tiny green shoots to break through the dark soil.

High five, Els
. She curled her fingers into a fist. For a moment she could almost feel the sting of her father’s hand against her open palm as they celebrated another frail green tendril pushing through the soil to the light. Dad had taken so much pleasure in the cycle of life: a winter sunrise promising a clear day to bathe the trees in warmth, the colours of the flames when they’d burned the dead branches at pruning time, the tendrils of mist that hung over the lush green leaves in the wet season when the clouds had almost seemed to skim the tops of the trees. She remembered the feel of the soft red soil running through their fingers as they tested the acidity levels, the clods that they had patted down around the small trees.

They hadn’t always lived on the farm. Ellie had a dim memory of moving there before she’d even started primary school. Dad had thrown in his job as an accountant in Melbourne, and moved them to the Territory where he’d grown up. He’d bought the five-hundred acre property, determined to make his fortune in the tropical fruit market, but he’d missed the boom of the eighties and no one had told him about the vagaries of the weather – the fruit yield dropped dramatically if the winter was too warm or the spring too wet. He’d found that out the second season they were there. But simply knowing and loving the cycle of the seasons didn’t make for a bumper crop each year. In the fifteen years they’d been there, the long-awaited fortune hadn’t ensued, and Dad wasn’t enough of a farmer to diversify. It had been easier for him to take up the part-time job at the pub in Jabiru. The debts had grown, and then there’d been another winter heatwave in the year he had . . . died. Ellie shook her head slowly, trying to lift the veil of nostalgic melancholy that had wrapped itself around her as she stared unseeingly at the herbs.

The box that Susan Sordina had given her was sitting on the small sofa in the living room. She wandered over and stared down at it, wondering what had been left behind at the farm. She reached out to lift the lid but the top was taped down securely with masking tape. As she stared at Dad’s loopy writing, tears filled her eyes and she turned away, putting her hands up to her face.

Taking a breath, she scrubbed at her eyes before ripping the masking tape from the top of the box. A lever arch folder sat inside. Ellie lifted it out and her breath caught in her throat as she flicked it open. School reports. Emma Porter, Ellie Porter and Drusilla Porter – Jabiru Primary School. Commendation certificates. She flicked through the papers and smiled. Dad had been so proud of them, and he’d held a little family ceremony at the dinner table each night that one of the three girls had brought something home from school.
Another memory that had disappeared in the grief of his loss
.

But there was nothing there to explain why he’d taken his own life.

Tuesday
Makowa Lodge

The morning had been a bit quieter than yesterday, although Kane had started work early to prep one of the choppers for a sunrise flight. Ellie had taken two couples up on the Magela Valley tour to watch the sun come up over the majestic stone formations. At least they looked majestic in the brochure. The only parts of the park he’d seen – apart from the rescue flight the other day – had been from the ground.

But he’d spent a lot of time looking at the photos around the office after he finished servicing the choppers between flights. Maybe,
just maybe
, he’d ask her to take him up for a look around one day when it wasn’t so busy.

When they next had a conversation that was – she’d said barely anything to him at all this morning apart from ‘Right to take up?’ or a quiet, occasional ‘Thank you’. She wasn’t smiling much either, and Kane couldn’t help the suspicion that he was at least partially responsible. They shouldn’t have left things the way they had yesterday.

When he’d called Mum last night, she told him that Ellie had been to visit, but she had not said a word about it this morning. It had been very kind of her to go out there; but for Kane, seeing his mother over the past week had brought all sorts of regrets to the surface. He’d not been in touch with her as much as he should have after she’d remarried. He’d been punishing her for letting go of the memory of his father. Kane knew now that he had been unfair. He had no right to judge her, and no right to stop her from being happy.

Afghanistan had put things into perspective. Life was too short to judge others for their choices. Mum had suggested he come to the Territory for a while, but finding her so ill and thin had shocked him to the core.

But he was still determined to see Panos when he came home next weekend; the sooner he could talk them into moving Mum back to Darwin and away from that rundown old farmhouse, the better. If it meant he had to help them out financially, so be it.

After five days, Kane was also beginning to settle into the lodge. The rest of the staff were friendly, the job was relatively stress-free, and he was feeling more comfortable with where he was – especially since he’d helped out in the workshop yesterday. If he could make his peace with Ellie, he could see himself staying at Makowa Lodge at least for one season.

Maybe
. Then he’d think about where he’d go after that. His time in the Army had been structured and this newfound flexibility about where he went and how long he stayed was going to take some getting used to.

Maybe it was time to find a home base for a while.

Maybe he could even start to think about flying again.
One day
.

But his first plan for now was to brighten Ellie’s day and see if he could coax a smile from her. Time to make amends for the way he’d treated her yesterday.

He judged the time perfectly and was walking out of the bistro just as the helicopter buzzed overhead and headed for the tarmac. By the time she’d shut the chopper down and the tourists had left, he’d put the pizza box and the coffee on her desk.

Kane pulled out the other chair and straddled it as she walked into the office. ‘I thought you might like to have an early lunch. I couldn’t resist the smell of the pizza coming from the bistro.’

The look she gave him was cautious.

‘You’ve worked your butt off these last two days.’ He spread his hands out in a placatory gesture. ‘This is a peace offering to make up for the cranky bastard I’ve been. And to thank you for dropping in on Mum yesterday.’ One step at a time. He’d apologise for the other night when they’d eaten.

For a moment, he was unsure what her reaction was going to be. She turned to the pizza box and lifted the lid, and an angelic smile crossed her face as she closed her eyes and inhaled.

And damn if that wasn’t sexy. The surge of desire set off a warning in his brain.
Don’t go there again
.

‘How did you know?’ Her whole face lit up and her eyes were dancing with amusement.

Kane put his fingers to each side of his head. ‘Hmm. Let me read the lady’s mind. Double anchovies, no olives and a vanilla latte.’

Ellie’s laughter hit him square in the chest. ‘So you’ve been doing a bit of research over in the kitchen. Very thoughtful of you.’ Her voice was dry. ‘Apology accepted. I’m sorry. I’ve been a cranky bitch too.’

‘Nothing like pizza to clear the air.’ Kane glanced up at the clock. ‘And if I’ve read the schedule right, you’ve still got an hour to enjoy it.’

He opened the box and waited for Ellie to take the first piece. He smiled as she pulled up a piece of pizza and bit off the long pieces of dangling melted cheese that were hanging over each side.

‘Delicious,’ she mumbled with her mouth full. ‘I’m starving.’

‘Only way to eat pizza. With fingers and straight from the box.’

They munched their way through the pizza in companionable silence and Kane gradually let himself relax.

Ellie finished her coffee, and then stifled a burp with her fingers spread over her lips. ‘Sorry.’

‘Just one of the guys.’ He laughed as he closed the empty box. ‘Now I feel right at home.’ He reached over and removed a string of cheese that was stuck to her chin.

‘Ladylike too, that’s me.’ A faint colour stained her cheeks. ‘That was really thoughtful of you. I love pizza and I don’t get a chance to have it at night. They close the pizza oven after lunch.’

‘Don’t they realise that pizza is one of the food groups?’

Ellie nodded. ‘Oh yes. It’s an essential part of my diet. What’s your favourite?’

‘I’m a man. What do you think it is? Meat lovers, of course.’

She leaned back and folded her arms but Kane avoided temptation and kept his eyes above chest level. Although he was so very tempted to look down. The feel of her soft breast in his hands the other night . . .

He cleared his throat. ‘So yours is double anchovies, no olives?’

‘Promise not to laugh?’ Ellie’s grin widened. ‘That’s my second favourite. They don’t do my favourite here.’

‘So?’ He tipped his head to the side. ‘What is it?’

‘Potato and sour cream.’ She shook her head slowly. ‘But I have to go to Darwin to indulge in that one.’

‘That’s not a pizza. That’s a vegetable.’

‘It’s to die for. You’ll have to try it.’ Ellie sat back in her chair and covered a yawn. ‘I always get sleepy if I eat a big lunch.’

‘You’ve been busy since you came back from your holiday.’ He held her gaze and Ellie swallowed. She took a deep breath and sat up straight in the chair.

‘Kane?’

He nodded.

‘About the other night . . .’

He held up his hand. ‘Let’s just agree to move on. It was a mistake. A very pleasant mistake and I’m not going to say I’m sorry for that.’

She stared at him and he saw her swallow again. Christ, was he responsible for her nervousness? He didn’t think he could feel any worse than he did.

‘I want to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me.’ Her voice was steady.

‘About Heather? I heard what she said on the phone, and honestly, there’s nothing there, Ellie.’ He moved his chair closer to hers and an unfamiliar feeling settled in his chest. An emotion was pushing there and he tried to ignore it. Like a hatchling trying to break free of its shell, waiting to see what the world had in store for it.

‘No.’ She frowned at him. ‘Not Heather.’ Her voice was sad, and Kane had always been a sucker for sad. He reached over and took her clasped hands between his.

‘What’s on your mind?’

‘Tell me a little bit about your –’ She shook her head ‘– oh, I don’t mean anything private, nothing personal. Just talk to me about you and why you’re here.’

Kane brushed her knuckles with the back of his hand. ‘I was in the Army until recently. I came back to Darwin to see my mother, but she’d moved. So then I came to work at the lodge because I wanted to be closer to her. I didn’t know she was sick. I’m really not happy about her living out there by herself. I offered to move in with her but she said no. Reckons it was too far for me to drive every day.’ He looked away and stared towards the river, and flinched as the high-pitched squeal of a bird carried across the tarmac. ‘Thank you for visiting her. The farm is very different to what I expected.’

‘It’s been empty for five years. No one’s lived there since we moved out when my father died.’ Sadness crossed her face. ‘I enjoyed visiting your mother. I had forgotten that she knew my mum. But she did seem lonely.’

‘I’ve been trying to contact Panos about her living out there by herself.’

A strange look crossed Ellie’s face. ‘How much do you know about him?’

‘Panos? Honestly?’

She nodded.

‘He’s a scammer and a gambler, and I have no idea why my mother married him.’

‘My dad spent a lot of time with him before he died. It was a strange relationship. Dad had never been one for the pub and I guess when his friendship with Panos took him away from us, I resented it. Maybe I’m being too hard on him now.’