Kaleidoscope (31 page)

But this time was different.

This time, she didn’t pull away immediately.

Instead, she whispered, “You know, I really,
really
like you.”

He smiled against her skin and muttered, “Yeah. I know.”

She moved away and caught his eyes.

Another change, because this time, even in the moonlight, he could see the pain was gone but her eyes were still conflicted.

“I have to tell you something,” she murmured so quietly, he barely heard her.

“What, baby?” he asked and she held his eyes.

Then she announced in a weighty voice that made Deck brace, “I lied.”

“About what?” he asked carefully.

“Way back when, the first time I was telling you about what happened with Harvey. I lied,” she told him.

“How did you lie?”

She drew in a long breath and let it out, saying, “I was terrified. The whole time I was with him. Totally terrified. From the moment he threatened me to the moment he took me to the police station and I saw my parents.”

Deck said nothing. This was another breakthrough. Quieter and not terrifying to witness, but vitally important and he needed to let her sort it out in her head without intervening.

When he said nothing, she continued.

“I think… looking back, I think when I was with Harvey back when he took me, I shut down. He was acting so strangely, it totally freaked me out. And I think… I think…”

She trailed off, again appearing reflective before she came back to him and said in a whisper that sounded like a confession, “I think I sought him out after, when I was an adult, because I had to believe he was a good guy doing bad things. I had to find a way to erase that fear I held with me for three days, worried what he’d do to me, about how he was acting. Worried if I would see my family again. How I knew Mom and Dad were probably wild with terror. I knew it was all wrong and very,
very
bad, but I had no power and I was scared out of my mind. I sought him out later because of
why
he did what he did and that he took me to the police station. I had twisted it my head that he was a good guy and I needed to make that real, I think, in an effort to erase that fear. Maybe to get some of my power back. But also to give myself the ability to build a wall around those memories so they would stop tearing me apart.”

Deck wanted to howl with elation that she’d finally untwisted that in her head.

But he didn’t.

He simply gave her a smile and murmured, “I think you’re right, baby.”

“It just turned out he actually was a good guy,” she went on.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“I shouldn’t have gone to him,” she admitted softly.

“Don’t hold that guilt,” Deck warned quickly but gently. “I told you, he’s good with this. He wants you to heal.”

She held his eyes and nodded.

She again drifted away, her face working before she came back to him and focused.

“They told me,” she declared.

They were going somewhere else now, he knew it. He just didn’t know where she was taking them.

“Who told you what, baby?”

“Nina,” she stated.

He felt his brows draw together. Then Emme, always challenging him in ways he liked, and some lately that weren’t much fun, did it again. But in a way he didn’t much like.

She did this by saying, “They know what happened to me and they were careful when they shared. But I asked, so they shared. They told me about Nina getting kidnapped and nearly shot.”

At her words, he had a feeling he knew where she was taking them, his body got tight and he couldn’t control it. But she didn’t seem to feel it and went on.

“About Lauren getting kidnapped, stabbed and running for her life. About Lexie being kidnapped and nearly shot. And about Faye getting kidnapped and buried alive.”

She stopped talking, and not knowing precisely where this was leading so not wanting to make assumptions, Deck said gently, “All right, honey.”

“I thought I’d ask them because I knew some of that, and because, in a way, they’re like me.”

Deck thought this was good and began to relax.

She was right. They were like her in a way, though all that happened when they were adults. But, from the stories he heard, all those women took a minimal amount of time to adjust and move on.

They might be able to help guide Emme.

“I don’t know what you do to make a living,” she continued, blindsiding him. “But I figure it might have danger and you might have enemies.”

Fuck.

Now he knew where her head was at.

Fuck.

“Baby—”

Her voice changed completely, it was trembling when she declared, “I can’t go through it again, Jacob.”

Fuck.

“Emme—”

“I don’t want… I don’t think…” she stammered, and Deck turned her.

Rolling her to her back with Deck pinning her down one side, Buford adjusted out of their way with a groan and a sniff.

But Deck only had eyes for Emme.

“Don’t use this to pull away from me,” he whispered.

She flattened her hands on his chest and admitted, “I’m trying not to pull away but I got to thinking and I got scared.”

This was also new, brand new, and it was the good kind of new.

“Good,” he replied. “Not that you’re scared but that you started thinking and shared that with me.”

“Jacob, if… I…” She shook her head on the pillow. “What happened to Faye had to do with something that involved Chace and—”

“Tomorrow, I start putting in a security system,” he announced, and she shut her mouth. “And, babe, we’re not arguing about who’s paying. It’s gonna be top of the line and it’s gonna cost a whack. So I’m paying and installing.”

Her voice was again trembling when she asked, “Does that mean I might be in danger?’

He ignored that and stated, “Also, I’m putting in outside lighting, front, back and sides of the house. Bright lights, long range with motion sensors. You can pick the fixtures so you have the look you want but I’m also paying for that.”

“Ja—”

“And that outbuilding you have that looks like it’s supposed to be a garage but is mostly a wreck, it gets new windows, new doors, new locks and a new garage door with remote. I want you parking in there because I want your vehicle secure so I need that building secure. When I move in, we’ll scrape it and build a bigger garage.”

He watched her blink, felt her body jerk slightly under his and she asked, “When you move in?”

“Yeah, when I move in. So this means I’m investing in what’s eventually gonna be my own home so you can’t find shit wrong with that.”

“I… you… you’re moving in with me?’

“Not tomorrow. Not in a week. Though, tomorrow, you’re movin’ in with me. I got an attached garage, security system, motion sensors on the outside lights and a dog. And, just sayin’, we’re focusing inside work on the wires so we can get a puppy. A German shepherd or a Rottie.”

“We’re getting a puppy?” she asked then went on before he could answer. “I’m moving in with you?”

“Until work is done here. We’ll start lookin’ for dogs now, though. Buford’s got a helluva bark but his look could make someone underestimate him. Only a plain moron would underestimate a shepherd or a Rottie.”

“Okay, I, uh… well, I’m not sure how we got here,” she shared.

“We got here because, straight up, baby, every loved one of someone who does something like I do, shit like Chace does, if it gets extreme, they can be vulnerable.”

He heard her sharp intake of breath, had no clue if what he was doing was the right thing to do, but he powered on doing it, hoping to God it was.

“But, just pointin’ out, crazy shit has happened in this county. Too much of it. So much it’s surreal. But Nina, Lexie, they didn’t have a man or someone in their life that had a job that put them in that place. That shit can happen to anyone, baby. You didn’t live here, you lived in Denver County when it happened to you. You also didn’t have a dad who was a cop or did something that put you in jeopardy. But you have concerns. They’re valid concerns. That means we alleviate the vulnerabilities.”

He paused to make sure that was sinking in in the way he’d hoped. She nodded slowly, so Deck took that as a good sign and carried on.

“Best thing you can do to protect a home is have a dog. Next up, security system. Next up, good lights. People who do bad shit do not like dogs or lights, and most idiots who are fucked up enough to do bad shit aren’t smart enough to bypass a security system.”

“Oh,” she mumbled. It was noncommittal but he could still tell he was getting in there. Her body was loosening under his and her face was getting soft in the moonlight.

So he kept going.

“We also step this up so you can feel good up here,” he stated, lifting a hand and tapping her gently on her forehead. “Self-defense classes. You won’t need them but they’ll make you feel that you might know better how to handle a situation. Even if it is highly unlikely that situation will occur.”

“That’s actually a good idea,” she whispered, and he grinned.

Then his grin faded, he dipped his face closer and he shared, “As much as it shits me, I cannot protect you from the bad things in life, baby. What both of us
can
do is be smart, be aware and be prepared. ’Cause, I know this. You can twist this in your head as another reason to disconnect from me, but even not being with me, that doesn’t mean you can assure you’ll be safe. What I know for definite is, you being with me, I will bust my ass and break the bank to do everything I can to keep you that way. So, in reality, being with me does not make you more vulnerable. It makes you safer.”

Emme had no response.

Then, two seconds later, she did.

And this was to lift her hand to cup his jaw and whisper, “Seriously, Jacob. I really,
really
like you.”

It was whacked but he almost liked hearing her say that more than hearing her tell him she loved him.

Almost.

Then again, coming from his Emme, it meant the same thing.

He let out a breath and with it went the tightness he felt in his gut. After, he dropped his mouth to hers and gave her a brief kiss.

When he lifted his head, she asked, “You’re moving in with me?

His head tilted at the repeat in subject, and her baffled tone, and he replied, “Yeah, babe. Told you that. Not tomorrow or—”

She interrupted him. “What about your house?”

“We get to that time, I’ll sell it.”

This time, her head tilted. “You’ll sell your house?”

He felt his brows draw together. “Yeah.”

“But, don’t you like your house? I mean, it’s an awesome house.”

“Yeah, Emme, I love my house. I worked my ass off for that house. But do I love that house more than you love this heap?”

He felt her body still under his.

“No,” he answered when she didn’t. “So, when we’re at that place to make the change, I move here.”

She was silent.

Utterly.

Then she wasn’t. But she said something that made little sense.

“I have more bedrooms than you.”

“Yeah, you do,” he agreed unnecessarily.

“So our kids can have their own rooms, even if we have a bunch of them. Like, four. But, just saying, we’ll need to keep a guest room for when Mom and Dad or Rich and Karla visit.”

That was when Deck stilled.

“Though, I don’t want four kids, just to say,” Emme continued.

Deck had no reply.

This was because his blood felt like it was boiling, his heart pumping so hard in his chest, she had to feel it.

And Emme kept talking.

“Actually, I was thinking two. Girls.”

Deck replied to that.

“One has to be a boy so I can name him after Chace.”

“Chace?” she asked, then declared. “If we have a boy, we’re naming him after Dad.”

Had she lost her mind?

“I am not namin’ a kid Barnard,” he declared.

“We have to name him after Dad.”

“That isn’t happening, Emme.”

“Okay, I get you. It isn’t exactly a name in vogue right now so maybe we can use it as a middle name,” she compromised.

“Babe, no,” he refused her compromise.

Her voice was pitched higher, which meant more annoyed, when she asked, “Not even as a middle name?”

And it was then he realized they were there.

She’d been scared. She had logical reasons to be scared. She’d shared. They’d talked.

Now they were arguing about what to name their future son.

He wasn’t pulling her back as she was pushing away.

They were talking about what to name
their future son
.

So Deck didn’t even try to control it when he lifted his hands to frame her face and dipped his head so close to his girl, all he could smell was strawberries.

“You get the house we raise our kids in. I get to name our son Chace Richard,” he whispered, his voice thick.

Her voice husky in return, her hands gliding down his chest then around to link at his back, she replied, “That actually has a nice ring to it.”

He dropped closer and against her lips whispered, “Decided.”

“Yeah,” she whispered back.

“Love you, Emme.”

“Love you too, Jacob.”

When he got that, he took her mouth.

Then he gave back.

It took another two hours before Emme settled on top of him again.

And her voice stated plain she was almost gone when she sleepily said, “Your kaleidoscope will look awesome in this room. Maybe on the mantel.”

She was not wrong. It would look good in this room.

But it wasn’t going on the mantel.

“You feel the urge, baby, you can put it on my nightstand tomorrow.”

“I would if I had it,” she replied, her voice fading with each word then her body weight pressed into him as she fell asleep.

But Deck’s entire frame strung tight.

Due to what was happening, he hadn’t thought much about his missing kaleidoscope, which had gone missing during the time he was in Denver. Something that told him Emme, in a snit, had taken it.

And when he did think about it, he hadn’t brought it up in an effort not to argue because he loved her and he got she was in a rough place and had been for years, but it pissed him off she took it.