Kaleidoscope Summer (Samantha's Story) (32 page)

“Me, too—sometimes.” Maybe a wish my heart kept hoping for? “Audra wants to lease the bookshop and convert it into a real estate office. I want it to remain a bookshop. Why should it matter?”

“Tell me the first three reasons that come to your mind.”

Needing time to think about her question, I pushed my plate aside. “It represents all I know of Anne.” I pause—my own remark threw me for a moment. “It’s difficult picturing another person living in her apartment. It’s the only connection between her and me?”

“Pretty intuitive. In essence, if you blended the three, Anne and the bookshop become one and the same.”

“I’m comfortable in her apartment—we have similar taste in furnishings. We wore the same size clothes.” Again, I stared at the waves. “Am I trying to identify with her? Something I never did with my adoptive mother, as much as I loved her.”

She placed her napkin over her half-eaten sandwich. “Relating to her is one way of learning more about yourself. In my opinion, it would be best to delay making any changes with the bookshop until you’re at peace with the idea of letting it go.”

“Maggie said much the same thing.” The letters were too much to get into
.
I placed my paper wrappings on the tray. “Okay if we stop for today?”

She nodded. “If we cover too much in one session, it weakens the take-away value.” She stood and mixed her trash with mine. “You’re making strides. A few more sessions and you’ll start sorting out your feelings and reach some conclusions.”

“I hope so. The confusion gets overwhelming.” I drove away, questioning her reassurance. Before learning about the adoption, I had felt at peace with my life. I wanted that again.

Chapter Twenty-four

I p
ushed through the side door of the police station
and straight
to the coffee room
.

“Hey, Chief.”
Hank
sat
,
munching chips
with a book opened in front of him
.

“Won’t be much l
onger until classes start again
.”

“Yep.
”
His smile widened. “C
loser to being a cop
.”

“Are
n’t
you working on
a degree in criminal justice
first
?”

He nodded.
“
I’ve listened to you
r
advic
e
.
I’m not taking any short
cuts. G
oing to be the best
—
like you.”

Brotherly pride filled my senses
. “Good man. Calls on my desk?”

“Yes, sir.” I waited for his response and
headed to my office.

I m
ade
it
through most
of my messages
before being interrupted by a
tap on my door
.
“C
ome in.”

“Hey, boss
.
I have the
update
on that Monroe fellow.
” He handed me the report.
“
Tess Monroe
does have a son named Roger. Not sure how you want to proceed.”

“D
oesn’t qualify as
police business
.
I’ll give her a call
.” I
kicked back in my chair and
rested
the heel of
my boot on the edge of the desk. “
Sam
antha
went to see
John
—no luck
.”

“What about Elizabeth?
I don’t see her turning
Samantha
away. Problem is, how to get to her without going through
John
.”
Alec
started his infernal tapping.

“
N
ot a good idea to go behind his back
.
There has to be a way to reach him.
”
I moved the mouse
to start my computer. “Right now, I need to finish a couple of reports.”

“One other thing, b
oss.
Lilyan
’s
services are Saturday.
” His fingers paused.

“
Maggie called
.
I t
ol
d her I’d be attending with you
,
representing the department.” I p
ut my feet on the floor and
picked up my empty cup—I need
ed
a refill.
The clock on the wall caught my attention and I remembered
I had an appointment
.
“Change of plans—I
’ll be back in a while.”

“You want me to handle some of this paperwork for you?”

“I’
ll be back later
—
i
t’
s
all yours.
”
I was meeting
with a sign language teacher in
Mariner Bay
, checking
into learning a few basic signs. Maybe surprise Sam at the perfect moment.

***

Saturday morning arrived with a drizzle in the air. I met
Alec
and Ted
at the station
.
Nico
le had
elected to stay behind,
to be on call. W
e drove to the
Whispering Winds
C
emetery
and waited outside
the chapel. Pastor Jim pulled us
aside—h
e’d volunteered us to be pallbear
ers.
I took a deep breath to contro
l
my
irritation
.
“Let’s go
.” I motioned to
Alec
and Ted
.
Our status in the town had n
ot left us much choice—
not
without being rude.

Lilyan
’s
blue casket
reminded me of the c
olors in her home
. We lined up around it with three other men.

I felt a tap and
glanced behind me
.
Lilyan
’s A
unt
Claire
paused
, patted my arm a couple of time
s
and
proceeded
to the chapel
,
holding a tissue to her face.
Had she
bought into
Lilyan
’s delusions?

The director motioned to us
,
and we
slowly carried
the casket down the aisle to voices singing
“
Amazing Grace
.
”
Lowering
it
to
the draped stand, we
t
ook our seats
, lined up shoulder to shoulder
in the front row.
Pastor Jim
paid tribute to Lilyan. H
e honored her as
a member of
Serenity
Cove Community Church
. Her mental illness and criminal acts had been set aside. I suppose
d we all had
things in our lives that would be best left unmentioned in the event of
our
death.
After he finished, we moved
the casket o
ut of the chapel,
through the grassy
knoll
to its final resting place
,
next to h
er mother’s gravesite
.

Pastor Jim r
ecited the
Twenty
-third Psalm and t
he choir
sang “
Ave
Maria
”
a
cap
p
ella as the few mourners filed around the casket, each
placing a flower on top.
Maggie and
Sam
stood to the s
ide.
Lilyan
’s Aunt Claire limped
to
ward them
.
P
a
nicked, I sprinted to reach Sam.
Claire
got there first.

She glared into
Sam
’s face
and raised her
trembling
voice
. “You’ve some nerve showing u
p here
.
Lilyan
told me how you had
come between her and
Logan
and n
ow she’s gone
?
” She shuffled
away
,
placing a gloved hand to her ample hip.

Tears glistened in
Sam
’s eyes
as
I tried to comfort her
. “Everyone’s gawking
.” She shoved
me away
and
rushed after Claire.
Goldie and I
followed
on her hee
ls
.

Claire
stopped near a tree and
Sam
went to
her. “
I apologize
.
I
didn’t mean to
cause
you pain by being here today
.
I’ll leave.
”

“My niece belie
ved she had a future with Logan
until you showed up.”

I stepped next to Sam
,
and Goldie squished between us. “I don’t intend any disrespect
,
Mrs. Simms. But Lilyan and I never even had dinner together.”

“It’s more that she wanted it so bad
ly
.
Now Lilyan’s
gone and there’s nothing I can do.
”
She covered her face with
the
tissue in her hand.
Her husband put his arm around her.

“Mrs. Simms.” I rested my hand on the woman’s shoulder. “
I
have deep regrets that
Lilyan
found the need
to take the path s
he did. I
f
I ca
n do anything,
please let me know
.”

“N
o
,
son. She’s finally at peace, f
or the first time since her father deser
ted
her. She was
only seven or eight, and she
never got over his leaving
. Her mother
died in childbirth and her father couldn’t forgive
Lilyan
for being t
hat child. Her U
ncle Eli and I both tried to help her
, and
y
ou know the rest.” Clair
e walked
away
,
leaning on Eli’s arm
. There was painful tiredness in her eyes, as though she’d
shared all her heart
she
could part with
.

Tears dampened
Sam
’s face. I
eased my hand into hers. “
I never knew about Lilyan’s
family
.
”

“Me either—i
t took her dying for any of us to care enough to want to know.”
Maggie wiped tears from
her
face.
I hadn’t realized she
had joined us
until she spoke.

The three of us left the cemetery
.
T
he fact I hadn’t attended church for several years
suddenly felt wrong
. True enough—
my childhood teachings
had stuck with me, like a strong root system of
a tree planted deep into
the soil. Grandmother Delatorre once showed Maggie and me a lily. She told us God wanted us to have faith in Him, and like the lily,
we should not worry
about the future.

I shared her
belief in God. But
going to Sunday service t
hat first week after she died, h
er vacant spot on the pew matched the emptiness inside me. Church wasn’t the same. I’d quietly left. Many friends reprimanded me—I suppose God wasn’t thrilled with me
,
either. I trusted He und
erstood. But maybe it was time—t
ime to warm the seat in Grandmother Delatorre’s pew.