Kali Willows BUNDLE (Shadowed Desires Series) (24 page)

“What did you find on the video footage?” A one-sided smirk lit up his confident stare.

“What do you think I found?” Vannah leaned forward, challenging him. “You said I was carrying a guilty secret?”

“Uh—yeah, about that….” he stammered.

“What?”

“I guess there’s nothing to lose tonight anyway, so I’ll spill.”

“I’m waiting.” She tapped her stiletto heel.

“Are you sure you want to do this now?” Concern filled his voice.

“Yes.” She wasn’t sure, but a brave appearance was called for.

The familiar fragrance of roses blew in with a gentle breeze. Vannah glanced at the closed window and shuddered. The compelling flower scent lingered about her.

“Please, Cameron. Tell me.”

“Okay, here it goes. Mark says you’ve been ghost hunting to bury your grief. You felt if—”

“If what?” The stinging tears began to form, but she held her posture upright.

“If you couldn’t find proof that ghosts existed, then he couldn’t be angry with you—he wouldn’t blame you for the fire.”

“Why would I think he blamed me?”

“He says you; you had wine, dinner, and candlelight to surprise him the night he died.”

Ripples of anguish washed over her as he gave the accurate, never discussed before, play by play of that fatal night.

“He says you were upset because he was late getting home from work, and you went to bed.” Cameron watched her with remorseful eyes.

“Mark says you forgot to blow out the candles. You would have died. He saved you from the fire.” His horrified gaze fell to the faded, raised scaring on her thighs and upper right arm. “Oh my God, Vannah, it wasn’t your fault. He died saving you because he loved you. He doesn’t blame you.”

He rushed over to her as she slid from the silk chaise to her knees, sobbing with despair. He eased her up, took her into his arms, and held her tight as she wept.

“It was my fault. I killed him. I’m so sorry, oh God, I didn’t want to live after that night.” She clung to his neck.

“There’s something else.” His hushed words calmed her somewhat. “He wants one night with you.”

“What?” Her face deadened with shock. “What does that mean?”

“Oh, God, how do I say this without getting slapped?” He let go and stepped back, sitting on the king-sized bed.

“What does he mean? What does Mark want?”

“Don’t get mad, okay?”

“What?” She ran her trembling fingers across her face, clearing away the tears.

“In the mausoleum, he—” he shrugged as she flinched, “—that was him. I’ve never done this before, and the thought of it scares the crap out of me.”

“What?” Vannah kneeled in front of him. The smell of roses grew stronger.

“I can channel spirits. He wants to use my—body, for one more night with you.”

Vannah grew numb trying to take in what he suggested, in awe.

“Cameron?”

“I swear to God, I’m not scamming you.”

“I know you’re not. It’s confusing, though. You look nothing like him. I can’t even imagine….”

“I’ll make you a deal, okay?” His determined voice held her attention. “I’ve never channeled before because the thought of giving control away scares me, but Mark’s spirit, he’s aching for you. I’ll be the conduit and let him communicate through me, and you do whatever you need or want. At least then he’ll have had a chance to give you closure so he can go in peace.”

“I don’t understand.”

“Spirits that linger and haunt are often here because of unfinished business, unresolved issues. They don’t go to the white light and cross over. He’s been waiting for you, all this time. You’re his unfinished business Vannah. Your remorse, your guilt—he wants to ease your pain.”

“I don’t know what to say.”

She was torn. What was the one wish anyone would have when they lost a loved one? Just one more time, one more hug, one more I love you. Believing everything he said was a given. No one knew her feelings of guilt. The thought of speaking to Mark—being with him—through the body of another man was insane and dark, but tempting.

“Thank you.” She nodded.

“Just for the record, though—” He smiled.

“What?”

“If all this hadn’t happened, I would have been very…ecstatic to have had this one night with you myself. You’re gorgeous.”

“You’re not so bad yourself, Adonis.” She smirked.

“Huh?”

“Never mind.”

Cameron gave her a wink and lay back. After a few minutes, his body went limp. He appeared asleep then jolted upright with his eyes open. His face appeared different, somehow, his posture—he didn’t look like Cameron anymore.

“Savannah?” Tears trickled down his bronzed cheeks.

“Mark?” Vannah got up to her knees and moved toward him. His irises had changed; they had brown and green flecks now, no longer azure blue.

“Mark, is it you?” She threw her arms around his neck, squeezing tight.

“Savannah.” He sobbed and grabbed hold of her, not letting go.

“Say something only you would know about me, please. I need to be sure.”

“Baby doll, I miss cuddling with your feet, and you make a mean French toast, pretty lady.”

Hysterical laughter exploded from her lips as she wept and giggled at the same time. Vannah cupped his cheeks and took in his face—it was Mark’s and yet it wasn’t.

“I’m so sorry, Mark, I should have—”

“Hush now, baby.” He pressed a finger to her lips. “It wasn’t your fault. It’s just the way things were supposed to happen.”

“Oh God.” She pulled him close, clinging to his neck and kissed his cheeks.

“I don’t have long, but I need to tell you something.” He grasped her arms and held her back far enough to capture her gaze.

“What?”

“I needed you to know, the time we had together was the best part of my life. I couldn’t have asked for more. I was happy, and I love you so much.”

Vannah’s throat constricted and the muscles in her lips spasmed as she tried to hold back the building sobs.

“Enough tears sweetheart.” He ran his thumbs across her cheeks, brushing away the wetness. “You’ve shed too many over me, for far too long. It’s time to move on.”

“Move on?” She shook her head with disbelief. “You’re here now.”

“Savannah, you are a young, beautiful woman with such a bright light. I can’t bear to be the cause of it dimming so much. I need you to let me go. Let go of the guilt, the shame, and the regret.”

As if by magic, she regained control of her emotions and her body again. The tears stopped, and her throat relaxed as she breathed a little easier.

“I can’t explain how, but this night, this trip, this date, was all part of helping you heal. I wouldn’t have done anything different that night, or any other night with you. I have no regrets, but one.”

“What?” She watched him.

“My sole regret is not being able to get through to you sooner, to let you know.”

“What?” A residual whimper rippled through her lungs.

“Your search since I died. Your ghost hunting expeditions. You were searching for proof, connection. This man….” He gestured to Cameron’s body. “He’s the only one you were around who could hear or see me.”

“Those things that happened last night, the cold, the sound in my ear—”

“The smell of the old garden moss roses we planted in front of the house? Yes, that was all me trying to get your attention. It wasn’t easy. You ignored everything I did to make you sense me.”

“Well, there was a particular part I couldn’t ignore.” Vannah’s cheeks grew warm.

“I couldn’t resist.”

“I didn’t mind.” A wave of giddiness rippled through her chest.

“What happens now, Mark?”

Consuming her with his presence, he cradled her face in his hands. “I want to savor every last second with you.”

She closed her eyes, listening to his words, feeling the heat of his palms on her cheeks. “Kiss me?”

His warm, moist mouth descended into a tender, slow-building, passionate kiss that made her toes curl.

“Oh, God, it is you.” She focused on the sensations, the trail of his finger across her lips, along her neck, and down her chest. The muscles in her body responded to the gentle caresses with familiar intensity.

“I need you to know, I’m okay with this.”

“With what?” She stared at him, no longer lost in his touch.

“I’m okay with you being with him, now, tonight, for as long as you want or need.”

“With
him?
” She backed away, confused and a little upset he would feel that way.

“Baby, he was willing to give me his body so I could be with you. He’s a good man. It wouldn’t be right for me to stay any longer or to take advantage of the gift he offers. I’ve said and done what was needed.”

“You won’t stay? You won’t be with me once more?” Her lips quivered with her despair.

“As much as I want to, it would be wrong.”

“Why?” Her anger started to surface.

“Because, it won’t help you let go, Savannah. It would give you false hope, leaving you still clinging to my memory. It would be selfish of me to get what I want and leave you grieving for me all over again. No, it’s time.”

“Mark.”

“I love you Savannah Grace Teale. I will always love you. Promise me something?”

With knitted brows and frowning lips, she nodded.

“Promise me you’ll make the most out of this life? You’ll love unconditionally, you’ll laugh often, and you’ll embrace faith to get you through the rough times. You spent three years rejecting hope and trying to prove something you never believed to begin with. Life is too short to waste on regrets about things we can’t change. The past is over and done with. Live in the here and now.”

A calm she hadn’t felt since his death spread through her racing mind. “I promise, Mark. I love you so much.” She choked out the words. “Thank you for all the love you gave me. Thank you for the laughter.” Another welling tear spilled down her cheek.

“I do have one more favor to ask?”

“What?”

“This guy, Cameron, give him a break, okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“All us ghosts have wreaked havoc on his sex life. This body is starving for satisfaction.” He laughed and pointed down at his bulging pants. “As ready as a teenager. I’m not kidding.”

Vannah burst out laughing with a few sobs entrenched. “Okay, baby. I’ll do my best.”

He collected the last tear with his thumb and watched her with tenderness. “It’s time for me to go now.” He pulled her close, and gripped her in a desperate and compelling manner. He claimed her lips one last time, unyielding as she melted.

Savoring every sensation of the exquisite and bitter-sweet bliss of her final moment with the man she thought she would spend the rest of her life with, Vannah cherished the lingering taste of his kiss, the softness of his sweeping tongue, and the last feeling of him holding her face. Lost in his embrace, she gasped when his body jerked and he pulled back.

“Vannah?” Cameron’s body slumped over, out of his control. He felt as though his spine were jelly.
Now I know why I’ve never channeled before, and why I’m never doing it again.

“It’s okay.” She eased him back onto the bed and tucked a pillow under his head. From the side of his vision, he caught a quick glimmer of white and then the room grew a little brighter. He drew a deep breath, trying to get the feeling back into his chest and lungs. The fragrance of roses—pervasive all evening—had disappeared.

“He’s gone now.” Vannah lay down beside him, resting her head on his chest as she caressed his stomach in tender swirls with her trembling fingers, a little sniff the only sign of any distress.

What little sensation he had, began tingling at the touch of her finger.

“Thank you, Cameron.”

He tried to sit up, but felt like bricks were strapped to his back and he collapsed back onto the pillow.

“Oh man, my body feels like it weighs a million pounds.” He patted down his shirt and pants, as he inspected himself. He’d blacked out and couldn’t recall anything from the instant he let Mark into his body until this very moment.

“Did he…I mean did we…?” He searched his memory for any inkling of the events that had just unfolded. His mind was a blank page. It frustrated him. His body could have been in ecstasy, but he would never know it.

“We said good-bye. Nothing happened.”

“You didn’t—we—didn’t?” He stammered. A hint of relief began to set in.

“You gave me a gift, Cameron.” Vannah propped herself up on her right elbow and looked down into his eyes with the warmth of her brown gaze consuming him.

“What was that?” The stunning creature seemed to glow as she smiled at him.

“I’m feeling at peace for the first time since Mark’s death. Because of what you did for me—us tonight, I know now that I can move on, guilt-free.” Smiling, she traced her fingers across his lips.

“Vannah, What are you doing?” A blissful feeling washed over him with her slightest touch, but Cameron knew she just let go of the love of her life. After three years of mourning, should he even consider pursuing his desires?

“Okay, I lied, something did happen.”

“What?” He checked his clothing again. His heart started to pound—he still couldn’t remember anything. “You mean we did have—I mean, you had sex?”

“No, I let him go, and I promised to move on and make the most out of life.”

“You did, huh?” The feeling of control began to come back a little at a time, first through his fingers, then his toes, feet and hands…. A sense of relief brought a smile to his face as he watched her.

“Yeah, I did,” she purred. “He asked a personal favor, too.”

“What’s that?” Cameron brushed a soft wisp of curly flaxen hair from her face.

“He asked me to cut you some slack, you know, because of all the ghosts messing up your dates and all.”

Cameron smirked, shaking his head, and dropped it back onto the pillow. “Wow, so now what?” Giving a grin, he got her non-verbal response.

She smiled and trailed her finger along his jaw, down his throat, and to his tightened chest. A deep throbbing sensation took over his chest and shoulders with a brief shudder.

“What’s so funny?” Gaining control of his arms, he raised his hand and brushed his fingers along her exposed shoulders and arms, admiring her milky smooth skin.