Kami Cursed (Dragon and Phoenix) (5 page)

I swallowed. 
Talk of me
seizing
was still a little bit hard to digest.  “Then what? 
The hospital said I’d had some kind of mental episode, right?”
He nodded, flicking a fingernail over the little guy’s helmet.  “Lots of
theories.  One doctor said it was probably some sort of virus or something that
caused your brain to swell.”  He rolled his eyes.  “One of the psychologists
insisted that it was repressed stress- something about you not having a mom.”

“Wow.”  And that
whole time, he’d known what was wrong but couldn’t get anyone to listen.

He laughed
without humor.  “They put you on a ton of medication- psychiatric stuff to keep
you calm and even.  None of it worked.  Didn’t even faze you.”  His eyes went
distant.  “You would pace and scream and babble for hours on end, then just
pass out like your strings were cut.  I think the kami in you burned through
all of your energy and then you just fell asleep on the spot.”  Anger tinged
his smooth voice. 

“They did
finally find a medication that worked, and you would calm down.  I tried to
tell them that it was no good, but no one would listen to me.”  He shrugged.  “All
the medicine did was sedate
you
so the kami could take over- you were
more calm, but that’s because you weren’t fighting it anymore.”

I blinked at
him.  “Really?” 
Babbling and screaming
?  I remembered none of this.

He pulled the
model apart and then started putting it back together again.  It was rare to
see him fidget.  “You always reacted the worst to me.  I think the kami got
really angry when I was around.”  He shrugged.  “Anyway, I could only be around
you when you were sleeping.  So I spent the rest of the time trying to figure
out a way to save you.”

I nibbled at my
thumb nail, feeling like I was hearing a really great story.  Fiction. 
Something that never happened in real life.  “And you did.  You found out how
eventually.”

He sighed. 
“Yeah, eventually.”  His dark eyes met mine.  “I’m sorry.  Sorry I wasn’t faster. 
I was just too young…” his voice trailed off and I almost missed the last part,
“still am.”  He popped the head back on the Gundam and I took it from him to
get him to look at me. 

“I was so
scared,” he admitted.  “There was no one I could talk to.  No one to ask for
help, because no one believed me.  I read books, I searched the internet. 
Finally, I ran across an article written by a Buddhist monk.  It was all about
the evolution of ancient religious beliefs to modern ones.”  He grinned.  “So I
tracked Fumio down and pestered him non-stop until he agreed to help me.  At
first, he thought he was teaching me history.  You should have seen his face
when I told him I had a curse to break.”

I studied the
little Gundam guy.  I was pretty sure it was the same one I’d given Ryuu on his
last birthday- the last birthday I was sane for, anyway.  I couldn’t believe he
still had it. 

“Fumio believed
me almost immediately.”  Ryuu’s voice was soft.  “He didn’t tell me I was
crazy, or act like he was humoring me.  He
helped
me.  He said that
there are plenty of things in this life that can’t be explained, and the human
spirit has depths that we can’t even begin to imagine.”

 “What did you
do?  How did you finally break the curse?” I asked, dying of curiosity at this
point.

Ryuu shrugged.  “We
tried incantations, blessings, religious artifacts, offerings, you name it. 
Nothing worked.  Then Fumio had me start meditating.”

I raised my
eyebrows at him.  “Meditating?”  It wasn’t really something I could picture a
kid doing.

He nodded.  “It
helped, a lot.  I could start to feel a sense of
something
there when I
would close my eyes.  When I tried to find that feeling near you, the kami
would go insane and try to kill me.”  He gave me a dark look.  “That’s how I
knew it was working.  The thing was scared.” 

 “But it took a
while.  I had to get older, I think, for my abilities to get stronger.  And
then I read about forging a connection with the host.  I couldn’t talk to you,
so I found another way to make a link.  I tried to access you while you were
dreaming and apparently, it worked.  And then…”

He looked down
and cracked his knuckles.  The muffled pops were loud in the quiet room.  “And
then?”  I prompted.

He looked up at
me, his black eyes defiant, and his cheeks turning a beautiful rosy red.  Ryuu-
calm, unflappable Ryuu- was blushing.  “I… kissed you.”

I snorted with
laughter.  “You what?  That’s the corniest thing I’ve ever heard.  What is
this, Sleeping Beauty?”

He snatched the
Gundam from me and stood to put it back on his bookshelf.  “Shut up!”

I wiped tears of
laughter from my eyes with the back of my hand and went to stand behind him. 
He’d gotten tall, but I was still just a smidge taller.  I wrapped my arms
around him from behind in a fierce bear-hug, standing on my tiptoes to rest my
chin on his silky head and peer at the little toy on its shelf.  “Thank you,” I
said softly. 

He had only been
a little boy-he still was, really.  And he had worked so hard to bring me
back.  I didn’t care how cheesy it was.  “It doesn’t matter what you had to do-
I’m glad to be back.”

He wriggled out
of my arms and stepped back.  “Stop treating me like a little kid.”  But it was
so hard when he was just so dang cute.  I reached out and ruffled his hair.

 “Whatever.”  He
made an agitated sound as I messed up the purposeful disorder of his shiny
hair. 

My phone started
squawking in my pocket and I rushed over to my bag to dig around for it. 
“Crap!  Tutoring.”  I’d forgotten all about it.

“C’mon,” he groused. 
“You need to go to tutoring and I need to go see what disgusting thing Dawn’s making
for dinner.”

I patted the
Gundam on the head with my index finger then turned and left the room.

*****

That night I had
trouble sleeping.  I finally shuffled into the kitchen to get a drink of
water.  Dad was sitting at the table, an unopened beer at his side.  The stupid
cow cookie jar was sitting in front of him and he was staring at it as if it
held the answer to the meaning of life.  He lifted the lid and it mooed
pathetically, its crossed eyes rolling.  When he made no move to shut the lid,
I put my cup down and stomped over to slam it shut.

“I thought you
threw that thing out!”  I could still see the seam where he’d glued its tail
back on after it had flown off the counter all by itself and smashed on the
floor.  Ryuu had sworn the thing had a kami attached to it.  Of course, I
hadn’t believed him at the time.  Neither had Dad, and we’d both gotten a
lecture about horsing around in the kitchen. 

I put my hands on
my hips and stared down at my dad.  I was always a little worried when he got
down.  The Dad I remembered from three years ago had been so upbeat and
quirky.  He had been a drinker before my mom left.  He’d been sober ever since,
but apparently my going suddenly insane for three years had pushed him back
into his old habits.  He was doing better now that I was home.  I’d only seen
him drunk that one time.  He was making a big effort to pull himself back
together.  Which was why tonight had me worried.

“It’s her
birthday today,” he said softly.  “I wonder what she got for her birthday?  Did
he buy her jewelry?”

All the steam
went out of me and I sank down into the chair across from him, turning the cow
so it couldn’t stare at me.  Ryuu was right, that thing was possessed.  “Sorry
Dad.”  I hadn’t even realized that today was Mom’s birthday.  I’d been too busy
with flaming books and Buddhist monks.  This explained the post card I’d gotten
a few days ago.  She rarely ever contacted us, but when she did, it was usually
around a birthday or holiday.

“She left us,” I
reminded him, ignoring the fact that he’d just admitted that he thought she had
left him for another guy.  Apparently, my suspicions were right, but there was
no satisfaction in knowing that.  “So shouldn’t
we
be mad?  Why beat
yourself up?”
He laughed and tried to focus on me.  “Oh honey,” he said with a soft smile. 
“There’s no way we can know what’s going on in another person’s head.  Your mom
had her reasons for leaving.”  He put his head on his folded arms.  “I didn’t
pay enough attention to her- wrapped up in my writing, or drinking with the
guys- that’s probably a big part of it.”

I snorted. 
“That’s just dumb.”

 But I felt that
way too.  Like maybe I was bad and that’s why she left me behind.  I scooted
back from the table and stood, ticked off at myself for getting all mopey. 
Taking my cup of water, I went back to my room.  I would go to bed early.  I’d
wake up tomorrow morning and everything would be back to normal.  I’d forget
all about the stupid postcard. 

I didn’t need
her.  I was just fine without her.  We both were.

I
put my head in
my hands and blew my bangs out of my face as I glared at the page in front of
me.  The tactic didn’t work.  The textbook wasn’t intimidated. 

“You still don’t
get it?”  Wyatt’s voice was hushed, though I didn’t think the librarian was
going to come over and yell at us for talking.  It was obvious that we were
working- not having fun like all the other kids in here, gaming on the computers
or whispering in the corners.

“Maybe I’m just
too far behind,” I moaned.

He scooted his
chair around next to mine and stabbed a finger at the diagram on the page. 
“Look at the picture.”

I
squared my shoulders and read the boxes again.

Wyatt
nodded.  “See.  You’ll get it.  It’s just that it’s all new to you.”  He stared
at me for a minute, then sat up straight and pushed his chair back.

“Hey,
thanks for doing this,” I said with a tired sigh.  “I know you don’t want to be
seen with the crazy girl.”

He
pursed his lips together, not agreeing, but not denying it either.  “It’s
okay.”  But he looked impatient and I knew he wanted to go.

I
glanced at the clock and started shoving books in my bag.  “Sorry, I didn’t
realize it was so late.”

He
stood.  “No big deal.  I’m just supposed to meet up with some of the guys.”

I
grimaced.  The football guys.  “And you don’t want them to know where you’ve
been.”

He
shrugged, but he hesitated by his chair, not wanting to just walk away.  “I’ll
meet you here on Wednesday, okay?  There’s a test Thursday.”  His green eyes
looked pinched.

I
stared up at him.  “Why do you care what they think anyway?”

He
looked surprised, and embarrassed. 

“I
mean, they’re all such jerks.  They way they treat people.  Seems like you’d be
embarrassed to be seen with
them
.”  Instead of being embarrassed for
helping someone.

He
looked down at me, his cheeks flushed.  “Whatever.”  His hands clenched and
unclenched on the back of my chair, then he turned and hurried out the door. 

“Pretty
stupid for such a smart guy,” I muttered under my breath as I packed up my
stuff.

*****

I was sprawled
on the couch, waiting for Ryuu and wondering if I would survive the upcoming
chemistry test when Dawn drifted into the room.  I watched her curiously as she
took a seat next to me on the couch.  Dressed in her usual vibrant, feminine
clothes, she reminded me of an exotic bird perched next to a pigeon.  Me being
the pigeon.

Her sweet face
was pensive, and I wondered what she was thinking.  I hadn’t really spoken much
more than a casual hello to her since I “woke up.”

She sighed. 
“You’re a really good friend to Ryuu,” she said finally.  “The two of you are
still close aren’t you?  Even though you don’t remember the last few years?”

I nodded. 
“Sure.”

She looked at
me, her brown eyes wrinkling faintly at the corners.  “I want to talk to you
about that, actually.”  She clasped her hands in her lap.  “I know that Ryuu
has this elaborate story about what happened to you.  I think it’s helped him
cope with losing his best friend for so long- it’s the same thing he did when
he lost his parents.”  Her expression was pleading.  “But I really think it’s
best if you don’t encourage it.  It’s time for him to stop living in this make-believe
world.”

So that was it. 
“But it’s true,” I insisted.  “It’s not make believe.  I opened that book and
something just…took over my mind.”

She just stared
at me with her mouth hanging open.  “You don’t actually believe that?”

I narrowed my
eyes at her.  “I just told you I do.  Ryuu can see things that we can’t.”  I
couldn’t quite keep the anger out of my voice.  One more person calling Ryuu
crazy.

Dawn heaved a
sigh.  “Look Kit, I know that I’m not your favorite person in the world.  You
told me once that you would make a better mother than me.”  She laughed at the
memory.  “And you were only fourteen at the time.”  She shook her head.  “The
sad part is you were probably right.”

I crossed my
arms over my chest.  I had really hoped she wouldn’t remember that.  “It’s only
because you don’t listen to Ryuu- you don’t
see
him.  You were too busy
going out on dates to pay attention to your nephew, and he really needed you. 
It made me mad.”

Dawn’s eyes
looked sad.  “I know it felt that way to Ryuu, but really I was doing it for
him.”  I just looked at her, not buying it.  “Kit, you might be able to
understand now that you’re a little bit older.  When my sister died and her
little boy came to live with me, I was in shock.  I was only twenty-three years
old.  I wasn’t ready to take care of a kid.”  She shrugged.  “My family was
always pretty traditional.  I didn’t think of myself that way, but when Ryuu
came into my life I realized that he needed me to be more solid.” 

“So you decided
that being away all the time was more solid?”  I couldn’t help the sarcasm.

She shook her
head.  “Why do you think I was dating?  I was trying to find someone to settle
down with- fast.  So Ryuu would have a family.”

I uncrossed my
arms and sat up.  I hadn’t thought of that.  Of course I hadn’t.  I’d only been
fourteen at the time- just a kid.  “Well I don’t think he ever wanted that.  He
just needed you to be there for him.”  I turned toward her. 

“The problem
isn’t whether or not you’re cut out to be a mom, or if you’re married or not.  The
problem is that you don’t
listen
to Ryuu.  You don’t see him for who he
is.”  I threw my arms up in the air and stood, pacing.  “You always act like
there’s something wrong with him- like he has to be cured or changed.”

Dawn looked up
at me with eyes like saucers.  Then she slowly shook her head.  “I’m amazed. 
Kit you always amaze me.  You still have that beautiful child-like honesty. 
Most people lose that as they get older.”

 “I want to
believe in him,” Dawn said suddenly.  “But this talk about curses and …
spiritual energy?  It’s just too much.  He’s just like his grandmother-
completely lost in a world of his own.  I just want him to live a normal life.”

I rounded on
her, pointing my finger.  “Well
I
don’t want that for him!  I want more
for Ryuu than for him to be just like everyone else.  I want Ryuu to be Ryuu. 
And I’ll believe in him no matter what!”

I’d had enough
of this conversation.  I dropped my arms and scooped up my bag.  “I’m going
home.  Tell Ryuu he can come study there if he wants.”

I walked back to
my house, my anger at Dawn fading to nothing.  Hearing myself say those things aloud
had made me realize something.  I really did believe it.  I would trust
anything Ryuu said to me because I believed in
him
.  And I was pretty
sure I was the only one who did.  And
that
made me even more mad.  Mad
enough to say things that would make his aunt hate me.  I didn’t care.  Ryuu
had put up with this crap long enough- people not listening to him, saying that
he was crazy, avoiding him.

Just like his
grandmother, Dawn had said.  I wondered what Ryuu’s grandmother would say about
his abilities.  Had everyone thought she was crazy?  I wondered if she was
still alive.  Maybe she would believe Ryuu.  Maybe she could help him.  I vowed
to ask him the next chance I got.

I bounded up the
porch steps and opened the door.  I was greeted by loud snoring that almost
eclipsed the TV noise in the background.  Sighing I turned off the TV and
jiggled the couch, making Dad snort and roll over.  “Hey.  Get up.  I’m having
someone over.”

At least there
were a lot less empties this time, a good sign.  I picked up the beer cans and
took them out to the recycling bin, grumbling about drunk old washed-up
writers.  Just add it to chemistry tests, Shinto spirits, and the list of other
assorted crap tailor-made to make my life miserable.

*****

I met Ryuu at
the temple a couple of days later for another sort of test.  He was waiting for
me at the big wooden door, looking both excited and nervous.  We were about to
find out if I could destroy any old cursed object and not just the particular one
that had affected me.I followed Ryuu into the temple, noticing as I did that it
was more empty than usual.  We passed a monk laying out little prayer cards on
a wooden table near the entryway.  I nodded and smiled in greeting, recognizing
him from my other visits, but the man merely looked at me and went back to what
he was doing.  We had almost made it to the main room when a stern voice
disrupted the stillness that always seemed to fill the place. 

“Stop right
there girl!”

I spun around
guiltily, though I had no idea what exactly I should be guilty about.  It was
the tone of voice the man used- the one that just made you feel that you had
done wrong, even if you hadn’t.

A monk in deep,
rust colored robes was heading our way, a disagreeable look on his face.  He
pointed a long finger at the floor.  “This is disrespectful.  I just mopped
this entryway, and look at it.  You should be more aware of your actions.”

I started at
from his round, angry red face to the shiny wooden floor, where my sneakers had
left a few watery prints.  “I…I’m sorry,” I stuttered, taken aback at what a
jerk the man was being.

He harrumphed at
me and I hurriedly handed my baseball bat to Ryuu, who looked like he was suppressing
a laugh.  “Where’s the mop?  I’ll clean it up right now.”  Oh God, I’d made a
Buddist angry.  Apparently, my dad was right; I really
could
try the
patience of a saint.

 The guy didn’t
look mollified.  “Never mind.  You wouldn’t do a thorough job of it.  I’ll do
it myself.”  And he turned and marched away to the broom closet, muttering
under his breath about youngsters and disrespect.

I turned to look
at Ryuu.  Then, without a word, we both returned to the door and took our shoes
off before proceeding into the temple.

I was ashamed,
but at the same time, I knew this wasn’t how the people here usually acted. 
Everyone I had ever met at the temple had been friendly and kind, and extremely
patient.

We waited in
front of the Budda statue for a few minutes before Fumio appeared.  Ryuu didn’t
speak, but he shifted from foot to foot and rolled his shoulders a couple of
times, looking uncomfortable.  I glanced around the room to distract myself. 
My eyes rested on an ornate ledge built into the wall behind the Buddha.  The
only thing on it was a gold lotus blossom.  I scanned the room again, but my
eyes kept coming back there.

When Fumio
finally joined us, he looked harried.  “Ah, you’re here Kit!  We’ll be so glad
to get rid of this thing.”

He stretched on
his tiptoes, the front of his robe brushing the floor as he reached up onto the
little shelf where the lotus blossom sat.  He patted the shelf then withdrew
his hand.  “Here it is.”

He held out a
little, tarnished coin.  It babbled merrily as he held it out to us.  “It
doesn’t sound evil,” I said, staring at the thing but not touching it.

Fumio frowned at
me, but Ryuu spoke first.  “You can hear it?”

I nodded.  “Just
a little.  Can’t you?”

I glanced at
Fumio and Ryuu.  Both of them shook their heads. 

“Well, if you
can’t hear them,” I asked Ryuu, “then how do you know what they are?”

He sighed, his
eyes on the little coin.  “I feel them.  And I see them.”  He made a gesture
with his hands.  “This has an aura around it- kind of a dark halo.  And when I
walked into the room I could feel it.”  He glanced at me.  “If I touch it, it
will feel like a kind of…sucking.”

I shuddered. 
“That sounds gross.”

He gave me a wry
half smile.  “It
is
.”

Ryuu had my bat,
slung over his shoulder in the soft leather case he had found for it.  I took
it and slipped it from its case.

“So where are we
doing this?”  I tried to sound confident, even though I was pretty sure this
was a waste of time.

Fumio inclined
his head toward the little back garden.  “It’s damp out there, but a bit more
sheltered from prying eyes.”

I glanced behind
me to see that the grumpy monk was mopping the entryway with a bit more vigor
than strictly necessary, clearly still peeved.  “Geez,” I said as I followed
the guys out to the garden.  “What in the world is wrong with everyone today?”

Fumio glanced
over his shoulder at me.  “Well, it’s the coin of course.  It’s making everyone
cranky.”

Ryuu nodded
sagely.  “It’s grating on my soul.”

I rubbed my
temple and resisted the urge to swat him.  Grating on his
soul? 
“Would
you be serious?”  Then I turned to Fumio.  “So, being around this thing makes
people cranky?”

He nodded, but it
was Ryuu who answered.  “It sullies the energy around it.  The monks have been
working in close proximity to it for a week or so.  It’s starting to wear on
them.  It will only get worse until it’s removed.”