Kandace and the Beast (4 page)

I shouldn’t have mentioned it.  What difference does it make what he did in the past?  He is known to be violent and unpredictable.  He likes vodka far more than he should and makes no excuses for his behavior.  Yes, he’s killed a lot of people, but I don’t care.  I should care.  It’s strange that his history doesn’t bother me.

Why don’t I care?

“But none of it was real,” I say quietly.  A strange, dizzy sensation comes over me, and I shake my head to clear it.  I close my eyes, but there’s a bright light behind my lids—brighter than the sun filtering through the fronds of the shelter.  The brightness is uncomfortable, so I open my eyes again and find Bastian staring at me.

How can the sun be out again?  It was just about to rain.

“I don’t understand what’s going on here.”

He turns me around to face him, wrapping one hand around the back of my head.  He places his forehead on mine and closes his eyes for a moment.  He lets out a long sigh before he looks at me again.

“There is nothing to understand, Kandace,” he says.  “You are here…now…with me.  Always be in the moment, babe.  Life is what you are experiencing right here, right now.  Fuck the rest of it.”

He brushes his lips softly over mine, and I think about what he said.  Right here, right now, I am safe.  I feel good.  In fact, I feel better than I have in many months.

“Just be with me right now,” he says against my lips.  “Please, Kandace…be with me.”

“I’m here,” I tell him.  “I’m with you.”

I close my eyes and revel in the feeling of his mouth on mine, the soft breeze coming from the ocean, and push away all other thoughts.

Lightning and thunder are all around us, but we remain dry and comfortable inside the shelter.  Outside on the dune, the cooking fire is nothing but wet ash and a little smoke.  It hisses every once in a while as the rain pours down all around us.  Our clothing still hangs from the wooden hooks on the wall, and as I stare up at the blue bathing suit I’d been wearing on the beach, I realize I’ve been naked the entire time I’ve been here.

Where did that suit come from?

Trees blow in the wind, reminding me of weather reporters trying to stand on the beach when a hurricane is on the way, but the shelter doesn’t shimmy and shake like I would expect it to do in such weather.  I run my hand over the poles on the floor, wondering how something that looks so haphazardly constructed could be so sturdy.  The poles are perfectly smooth under my palm, and there are no drops of rain sneaking through the roof.

Because none of this is real.

“Did you get enough to eat?” Bastian asks as he plants a kiss on my neck.  “Can’t cook anything at the moment, but there are almonds, coconuts, and mangos.”

“I love mangos.”  I pull my hand from the floor of the shelter and try to recall what I had been thinking about, but the thought is gone.

“You want some?”  Bastian produces a large clam shell with perfectly cut pieces of fruit all over it.  I blink a couple of times.  It smells delicious, but I can’t shake the feeling that something isn’t quite right.

“No, I’m good.”

“I want to make sure you’re keeping your energy up,” Bastian says with a smirk.  “I wouldn’t want you getting all worn out or anything.”

“Don’t you ever get tired?” I ask.

“Of you?  Never.”  He moves up to sit beside me and grins as his large hand grips my thigh.  “All I can think about it getting my cock all up in you.”

“Such a romantic!”  I push at his shoulder playfully.

“I’d give you romance if that’s what I thought you wanted,” Bastian replies.  “It’s not though.”

“Really?  What do I want?”

“You came here to get fucked,” he says simply.  “That’s what you wanted, so that’s what I’m giving you.”

“Well, you have certainly accomplished that!”

“It is my honor to serve.”  Bastian salutes in jest.

I chew on my lower lip for a moment, thinking about what he said.  Without a doubt, I’ve enjoyed his attention, and I do feel thoroughly fucked.  Is that all I want, a good fucking?  Isn’t there more to it than that?

“I like romance, too,” I say.

Bastian’s demeanor changes abruptly.  He removes his hand from my thigh and reaches up to stroke the side of my face.  He pulls me close to him, kisses me softly, and then stares into my eyes.

“I want to give you everything,” he says.  “I want you to remember this moment forever.  I need you to know that I am here for you, always.”

“I know you are,” I whisper back as his lips touch mine again.  He twists his fingers into my hair, holding my face to his.  He places his other arm around me, and I respond by wrapping my arms around his neck.

Bastian brings me onto his lap, holding me crossways over his legs.  He keeps kissing me and caressing my thighs as my body begins to respond with more urgency.  I feel electrified.  Every part of my body quivers with the touch of his fingers and mouth.

It isn’t the same this time.  The intensity is there, but the pace is markedly slower.  His touch is soft and warm, his kisses gentle though no less passionate than they were before.  Every movement is drawn out, delayed.  He reaches for my breast just a moment after I want his hand there.  He lies me down on my back a few seconds after I want him to.  Each time, the desire brewing inside of me increases a thousandfold.

“I want you so much,” he says quietly.  “The way I feel about you actually hurts, Kandace.  I can’t stand being away from you even for a moment.  I need to be inside of you.”

“Yes, please, Bastian!”

He enters me slowly, watching my face the entire time.  I run my hands over his shoulders and chest, still amazed at the strong, hard muscles I find there.  I reach for his sides and splay my fingers over his hips and feel him flex as he pushes into me.

“More…please!”

“Anything for you,” he responds.  “I want to give you everything you desire.”

I watch as he sets a slow and steady rhythm.  I grunt and groan with every motion of his hips, the sensations amplified by the sight of his cock disappearing into my body.  I tear my eyes away from the sight and press up against him, dig my fingers into his backside, and wonder if I will ever get enough of this feeling.

Bastian’s arms coil around my body, and he leans back until he’s sitting back on his knees and I’m in his lap again, straddling him this time.  With one hand between my shoulder blades and the other gripping the back of my head, he presses up into me again.  I hold onto his upper arms and press my body tightly against his chest, focusing on the warmth of his skin on mine.

“I love looking at you like this,” he says.  “Watching you move up and down…feeling myself inside of you.  It’s like we’re one person, and we will never be apart.”

I rest my hand on the side of his face and kiss his softly.  His words echo through my head, warming me from the inside out.  He moves his hands down to hold my hips, guiding my movements on top of him.

He can’t get as deep in this position, but I feel every stroke more intensely.  The head of his cock rubs the back of my clit every time he moves, and the hard muscles of his chest stimulate my nipples as I place my head on his shoulder and suck gently on the side of his neck.  I kiss up his jawline and lick at his earlobe.

His touch is so light, so gentle.  It’s completely different from the way it was before, but I am no less consumed by him this way as I was when I was underneath him, giving myself over to anything and everything he wanted.    I lean back to look at his face, and his eyes stay locked with mine.  I should feel uneasy with the way we’re looking at each other, but I can’t look away.

He cups the back of my head with one hand while he uses the other to explore my body.  He strokes my shoulders, my side, my stomach, and my breasts again and again until my skin tingles everywhere.  His breath is warm against my lips as he kisses me repeatedly.

“Feels so good,” he whispers in my ear, making me shiver.  “I love having you wrapped around me like this.  I love holding you so close to me, making us one person.”

Running my hand over his jaw, I press my thumb to his lips.  He opens his mouth, licks my thumb, and then gently bites the pad.  I’m breathing so hard, I can’t make a sound but can only watch as he sucks my thumb into his mouth and closes his eyes, moaning.

“I need more of you,” he says.  “I want you on top of me.  I want you to do whatever you want while you ride me.”

I nod in response.

We roll together until I’m straddling him with my knees on either side of his hips.  He takes a hold of his dick and angles it up so I can lower myself over it.  I place my hands on his body to balance myself as we start again.  I rock into him, setting my own slow and steady rhythm as I stroke his chest with my fingertips.

I can’t comprehend what I’m feeling.  Elation, comfort, security—it’s all rolled together into one emotion.  The sounds of the rain have ended.  I can barely hear the rush of waves over the sand.  There is nothing but Bastian and I, bound together in perfect unity.

“So beautiful like this,” Bastian says as he reaches up and slowly runs his hands over my breasts, down to my hips, across my stomach, and back up again.  He watches the place where we’re connected, his eyes half closed and his mouth slightly open as he stares.  I close my eyes and tilt my head up to the sky, slowly rotating my hips and reveling in the feeling of his cock deep inside of me.  Bastian rolls his hips in a rhythm that matches the ocean waves as they crash on the shore—slow, steady, deep.

Shudders run through my body, focusing on where we are connected.  I gasp and start to fall forward, but Bastian grabs my hips, steadying me.  He picks up the pace, using my hips as leverage as he angles his body up into mine.  His jaw tightens as he grits his teeth.

“Oh, God!  Kandace!  Baby…please!”  I watch Bastian’s face as he comes, mouth open and eyes closed.  I run my hand over his jaw and down his neck, positive I have never seen such an incredible sight.  “I can’t hold back…not anymore.  You feel too good.”

“Don’t hold back.”

Bastian grips my hips once more before relaxing his fingers, opening his eyes, and smiling up at me.  I return the look before leaning over to rest against his chest and listen to the beat of his heart.  He runs his hands up and down my back, and his skin is so warm and comforting that I just want to fall asleep in his arms.

No…don’t sleep.

For a moment, there is a vision of bright lights behind my eyelids.  I sit up abruptly and grip Bastian’s shoulders.  My hands are shaking, but he doesn’t take notice.  He runs his fingers down my sides and over my ass before he starts massaging my thighs.

“Relax, baby,” he says quietly.

“I don’t want to.”

“You want to go at it again?”  He grins broadly as he sits up and wraps his arms around me.  His lips press against my shoulder, and he sighs.  “You might have actually worn me out.”

“So you do have a stopping point?”  I snicker.

“Just a little break,” he says, correcting me.  “You have to let a man catch his breath every once in a while.”

“Why should I?” I ask.  “You’ve taken mine away.”

“All part of the service, madam.”  He twists and turns me until I’m sitting on his lap, secured by his embrace.

I trace the edge of his jaw with my fingertip.  His skin is smooth to my touch, and I wonder when he managed to get a shave.  I don’t remember him ever leaving my side, and I wonder how long I have been with him on this island.  I’ve lost track of how many times we’ve had sex.  I don’t recall ever stopping to do so much as get a drink of water.

Bastian lightly touches my lips with his and then stares into my eyes.

“Stop thinking,” he says.

I’m not sure if his words are a command or a plea.

“But none of this makes sense,” I say.  “How did I get here?  Why am I here at all?”

“Shh.”  He presses his finger to my lips, silencing me.  He holds my cheek to his shoulder and kisses the top of my head.  “I want to stay like this forever.”

“So do I.”  I turn to look at him, offering him my most sincere smile.

He smiles back at me slowly.  His eyes twinkle as he grins, but there’s something deeper inside—something full of regret.  I want to ask him why he looks that way, but I can’t bring myself to form the words.

Without warning or the recollection of moving, we’re back on the beach, sitting in the sand as the waves wash over our bare feet.  I’m back in the blue bathing suit I don’t recognize, and Bastian wears smudged, sandy cargo shorts.  The sun is setting in brilliant hues of orange, red, and purple.  A group of pelicans fly in front of us, diving for their evening meal.

I’m exhausted—insanely exhausted—but I still feel a sense of peace I haven’t felt in a long time.  I feel calm and safe as Bastian casually tosses his arm over my shoulders, and we watch the sun sink below the horizon.

“This isn’t real, is it?”

“What is real?” Bastian asks with a shrug.  He looks at me and gently runs his hand over my arm.  “Do you hear my voice and feel my touch on your skin?  Have I made you come so hard you think you’re going to lose your mind?”

“Yes,” I say with a nod.  “I can’t deny that.  I’ve never felt like this before.”

“Life is made up of experiences, Kandace.  Have you had an experience here?”

“Yes.”  I nod to emphasize the words.  Everything he says is absolutely true.

“Then what else do you need?”

What else indeed?

I lie back in the sand, and Bastian joins me.  He wraps one arm around my shoulders and brings me up against his chest.  His other hand rests against my hip, and he tosses one leg over mine, holding me closely and securely.

“You got me?” I whisper quietly as I close my eyes.  I feel disoriented and my head fills with a dizzying fog.  I can barely feel the sand on my back.  The only clear sensation is Bastian’s limbs wrapped around me.

“I got you, babe.  Always.  We all do.”

“All?”  I try to open my eyes but only manage to flutter my eyelashes.  The images flicker from the warm reds of the fading sunset to bright, sterile white walls.

“All of us, Kandace.”  His voice is beginning to fade.  “We all love you.”

I’m leaving.

I close my eyes, no longer able to hold them open.  I feel Bastian’s grip on me tighten, and I hear him whisper soft words to me again, but he sounds so far away.

Not leaving—waking up.  All of this is a dream.

Maybe it is.  Maybe none of what happened on this island is real.  It doesn’t matter.  Each moment will live inside my memories, and that can never be taken from me.  As Bastian said—life is made up of experiences, and there is no doubt that I’ve had quite an experience.

An experience I will forever cherish.