Kara Griffin - Gunn Guardsmen (33 page)

“Kenneth, you might try breathing.”

He looked at Sean and laughed. “Are you certain she’ll welcome me?”

“She may not at first, but I promise you, you’ll be glad you came. I’ll make sure you’re alone so you can speak your peace.”

“Well, let us go then.” Kenneth kicked his horse’s flanks and rode swiftly toward the gate. Once through, he noticed the amendments that had taken place since he’d last been there. The cottages didn’t appear so dilapidated and the wall had been restored. He didn’t see Elisa outside and he was thankful because he wanted to approach her on his own terms.

Sean stopped in the center of the courtyard and dismounted. Kenneth joined him and they handed their reins over to a lad who took their horses away.

“Stay here and I’ll clear her cottage,” Sean said, and set off.

Kenneth waited in a conundrum of nerves. He saw Kelsi, Colm, and Sean exit her cottage and he started walking toward them.

“She’s within.” Sean ushered them away from the cottage.

Colm squeezed his shoulder in greeting when he passed, but said nothing otherwise.

“A moment, lass.” Kenneth bid Kelsi to stay because he wanted a few minutes of privacy with his sister. When Sean told him about her, he’d been relieved to learn of her whereabouts. She much resembled their father and had the same light blue eyes. Her hair was the same shade as his and she stood tall, much akin to Greer and his size.

Kelsi moved next to a stone wall near the cottage and kept her gaze on the ground. He didn’t want to intimidate her and so he motioned to her and he sat against the wall. “Finally, I get to meet you.”

“Kenneth, I was happy to hear you returned.” She raised her eyes, her expression serene.

“Aye and when I did, I learned that you ran away. Why?”

She sighed, for he noticed her chest rose and fell. “I was upset when Father died.”

“That is no reason to run away and upset your mother. She has been worried about you, lass.”

“I do apologize for that, but I couldn’t remain there.”

“You have fond memories of him? I do not …”

Kelsi leaned against the wall and kept her gaze on him. “Before he died he told me many things … some of which I deem he hadn’t told anyone.”

“What did he say?” Kenneth wasn’t really interested in what his father had to say, but Kelsi wanted to talk about it and if it would make her feel better, he would listen.

“Kenneth, I understand how much you loathe him. Mother told me some of it. But Father did really care for you. I suppose you don’t believe that, och he told me that he didn’t worry for Greer since he was destined to be laird and his future was set. You caused him concern and he thought by being harsh with you, he would make you stronger, wiser. That he could toughen you to handle whatever came your way.”

He remained silent.

“Father said he shouldn’t have worried for you because you had the same sense of pride as he had. He regretted being so difficult and was sorry he couldn’t rectify it before he passed.”

“It doesn’t matter anymore, Kelsi. He’s gone and that is all in the past. I don’t hold anger any longer about … any of it. You should send Helena a missive letting her know you are well.”

“I will, Kenneth. I am glad you came for Elisa. She needs you.”

“Aye, I know she does. As much as I need her. I must go. We’ll speak more later.” He nodded as she walked away.

Kenneth stood outside the cottage door, a few feet from Elisa. He took a deep breath and entered. It was dark within and all the windows had been closed. He searched for her and found her standing beside the table mixing something in a bowl. She took a cup out of a bucket of water and began rinsing it. Briefly he imagined that’s what a wife would look like upon her husband’s return, she making a meal for him. He could wish it were so, couldn’t he?

“Elisa.” He took a few steps closer to her.

“Kenneth! What are you doing here?”

“I came to see you. Are you well? I heard what happened with Aiden.”

She held a drying cloth in front of her and continued to wipe a cup she’d just cleaned. “Aye, well enough. He didn’t hurt me.”

“I was told Kelsi speared him with the hearth poker. I’m sorry.”

She stopped wiping the cup. “Sorry? She only did what was necessary. It wasn’t your fault. Now that you have seen for yourself that I am well … I don’t want to keep you.”

Kenneth took a few more steps toward her. “Nay, I’m sorry that he attacked you. But that is not the only reason I came.”

“It isn’t?” her voice was barely above a whisper.

“I came because there is something important I want to say to you.”

She broke down in a mass of tears. “I’m a bit emotional these days.”

Kenneth didn’t know what to do, but instead of standing there akin to a dumfounded oaf, he took her in his arms and hugged her. She’d put on much weight and he stepped back to eye her. Then he saw her stomach move.

“What the hell’s wrong with your stomach?”

“Nothing, nothing is wrong.”

“I saw it move. Are you … are you expecting a bairn?”

Elisa wiped her eyes. “I am, Kenneth. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you but I didn’t think you would care.”

“Wouldn’t care? Do you jest? Of course I care. Elisa, I have thought of nothing else but you since I left that day.” She cried harder and he hugged her again. “Shhh, lass, don’t cry. I should never have left that day but I was angry. Angry that you left McInnish land and put yourself in such danger. I was afraid I would be coarse with you and I’d frighten you for my wrath was uncontrolled. When you had the king send me away, I thought it best to go, at least until my temper cooled. I didn’t think you wanted me to return for you so I … I stayed away.”

She sniffled and hugged his waist. “I wanted you to refuse the king’s order, to say you wouldn’t leave me, but you didn’t. I thought you had not cared.”

“I did try, though not wholeheartedly.” He tilted her chin until her tear soaked eyes looked at him. “Elisa, I love you, love you so very much that I’ve been completely miserable without you.”

“Verily? You’re not just saying that, Kenneth?”

“I cannot exist without you.” To prove it, Kenneth set his lips on hers and kissed her with as much passion as he possessed. His kiss turned to a grin and he pulled back. “Whenever I kiss you, I just can’t seem to stop. Och we’ve much to discuss. I realize my error now, Elisa, and know I should have included you in the happenings at the McInnish clan. I shut you out and did it on purpose so I ... I suppose I was afraid of getting too close to you, but you gave me no choice for I deem I’ve loved you longer than I knew.”

“Kenneth, I’m sorry I made you feel that way that you couldn’t get close to me. I might have caused a little of that myself. For I am not so trusting of others. But I have always trusted you from the moment you sat on the rock and told me why I should marry you.”

He touched her face, smearing a tear with his thumb that had fallen. “Forgive me for being an arse? I can’t live another day without you, Elisa. And I don’t want to be alone anymore.”

His words seem to affect her for she hugged him close and sobbed. He rubbed her back and let her cry for she’d had enough reason to.

“I don’t like seeing you weep, Elisa. I hate being the reason.”

She bumped his chin with her head when she looked up at him. “I’m not upset, I’m happy. Aye, happier than I have ever been, Kenneth. You really love me?”

“I do really love you. Why didn’t you tell me you were expecting?”

“I couldn’t. I wanted you to come to me on your own and not because of the bairn. I was afraid I would never see you again for as long as you’ve taken to come to your senses.”

“About that … I was coming to you but then we had that storm, the snow storm … And that’s when Aiden struck me with three arrows.”

Elisa motioned him to a chair and she poured him a cup of ale. She took the seat next to him and waited for him to say more. Kenneth considered how much he’d tell her, and now that she was there listening to him, he realized he’d best tell her everything.

“I want no secrets between us, Elisa, ever. I was upset about my brother, Greer’s death. Because of my guilt, I had decided not to return to my home. There’s more to it than that for my father and I had not gotten on. He ridiculed me and I felt … that I didn’t deserve to be rewarded with all of Greer’s bestowments. When I found out you were betrothed to him that affected me more so. How could I accept his betrothed, the lairdship, all that would have been his?”

“Oh Kenneth, that is sad. I didn’t know. I suspected you were bothered about the betrothal …”

“I should have told you about it when you needed a place to hide, I was angry about returning there. I blamed you, but I shouldn’t have.” She was about to speak when he took her hand. “I realized that Greer wouldn’t have wanted me to give up on life. He was honorable and died saving Bree. I should not be so torn about his death. He would have been happy to know I found someone.”

“Nay you shouldn’t be torn, but I understand, Kenneth. Are you still hurting from the arrows? I cannot believe Aiden did that to both of us.”

“My injuries are healing, but I still hurt sometimes. I would have been here sooner, but my recovery took longer than expected. I only left my bed a week ago.” He wouldn’t tell her he was a breath away from death and that Helena had saved him. He’d let the old woman regale her with the tale.

“When he came, I got the feeling something was wrong.”

“I wish Kelsi hadn’t killed him, for I wanted to. I saw him that day when he attacked me. I couldn’t move though when walked away. I tried to tell Duncan who had struck me, but he didn’t understand. If I’d been able to, he wouldn’t have come here and tried to harm you.”

“Why did he want to kill us? He said that you wouldn’t have returned if I hadn’t wed you.” Elisa took his hand. “I suspect he wanted to remain in charge?”

“That’s what Sean said. But I don’t know if that is the only reason. Do you deem Alexander wanted me dead after he’d learned that Grey and I lied to him about you?”

She shook her head. “Nay, he wanted to punish you, remember, but I asked him not to. I told him that I just wanted you to go away. I wanted to give you an out should you have wanted it, Kenneth. He agreed and said he would not punish you. Why would he have Aiden kill you?”

“Mayhap he changed his mind and decided it was best that I be punished.” Kenneth squeezed her hand and pulled her toward him. He set her upon his lap and was content to hold her. He breathed her in, reveling at holding her.

“Why kill me then? The king wasn’t angry with me for he was pleased I returned the pinsel to him.”

Kenneth hadn’t thought of that. “Aye, mayhap you’re right and he had no involvement.”

She still smelled like a field full of flowers. He closed he eyes and breathed deeply again.

“I will write to him and ask for an audience.”

“Nay, it doesn’t matter now. If he comes, we shall close our gate to him.”

“We cannot close our gate to the king.” She giggled and set her head on his shoulder.

“I know you don’t want to leave MacQuarrie land and so I have ordered all the McInnish to travel here within the month.”

She stood hastily. “What!? Nay, Kenneth, why would you do that? This is not my home any longer. The McInnish keep is my home now. I don’t want you to give up what you’ve only accepted. I want to go home with you.”

“You do? You wouldn’t rather stay here?”

“There’s no sheep here.”

Kenneth laughed. “There isn’t? If you want to return to McInnish land then that is fine with me.”

“Will you build a round stable for me?”

He laughed at her request. Odd though it was, it suited her for he knew her love for animals. “If it makes you happy.”

She smiled widely. “I do so love hearing you laugh, Kenneth. I do so love you.” She hugged him and placed kisses along his jaw.

Kenneth took possession of her lips, entwining his tongue with hers. He couldn’t get enough of kissing her. He set her on the table and stood between her legs, kissing her still and loving every moment of it.

The door opened and Sean said, “It’s too quiet in here. Have ye killed each other? Oh, nay, you haven’t.” The door closed again.

Kenneth took her in his arms and carried her to the bed. “It’s been so long. I can’t wait another moment to be with you. Do you forgive me, Elisa? I promise to always be there for you. Even if it means giving my life for you. I know we agreed no promises, but I deem we should make some.”

“Oh, Kenneth, I adore promises.” She touched his face.

He closed her eyes when her palm cuddled him. “I agree. I promise I will never let you go again.”

“Do you promise to love me forever? Because I promise to.”

He opened his eyes and stared into the depths of her green eyes, knowing she meant every word of her promise to him. “I do.”

His hand shook when he began removing her overdress. As green as an untried lad, he felt urgent and wanted to rush. At that moment, he just wanted to be inside her and feel whole again.

She helped to remove his shirt and tartan. Kenneth kicked his boots off and pulled her shift from over her head. Elisa lay back grinning at him akin to a siren that had just conquered the beast. He chuckled to himself at that thought. He took his time looking at her body; her breast fuller and her stomach rounded. She was verily pregnant. He lightly placed a gentle kiss there.

“Kenneth, please … this is no time to dawdle.”

He laughed at her impatience. “Nay, it isn’t. What do you want me to do to you?”

“Everything, but be quick for I don’t want to wait.”

Kenneth groaned, knowing they both wouldn’t last long. When he entered her, she was slick and accepting. He wanted to plunge deeply until all his energy spent, but at the same time, he wanted to go slow and feel every touch between them.

Elisa would have none of that. She met his thrust as much as her body would allow. Kenneth leaned forward and kissed her softly, telling her with his gaze how much she meant to him. He held her breast in his hand and then placed a kiss there.

“I want to kiss all of you.”

“Later, right now I just want you to … I love when you come inside me, Kenneth. Oh aye, keep doing that! Harder, hurry.”