Kat Attalla Special Edition (62 page)

He almost pulled the back door off the hinges as he stormed inside without bothering to knock. He saw her sitting in front of the fireplace with her head flipped over to dry her long hair.

When she heard the approaching footsteps, she tossed her head back. "Chloe?" she called out.

"Guess again."

"Jake?" She ran a hand through her tousled mass of hair in a vain attempt to restore some order.

She looked as if she'd tumbled out of bed after a wild night of passion. He wanted her, and that only added to his anger. "Do you want to tell me what your problem is?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Chloe. I'm talking about you picking up Chloe from school today and taking her shopping."

Kate's eyes widened. Her confusion could almost pass for genuine. "I don't understand why you're so angry. Did she explain what happened?"

"I don't care what happened. Just because we sleep together doesn't give you any rights where my daughter is concerned."

She rose and took a step towards him. "Would you just listen a minute?"

Her attempt to make excuses infuriated him even further. She wouldn't own up to the fact that she went behind his back.

"No. I won't listen. Chloe is my daughter, not yours. If you want a kid so bad, go out and adopt one. It shouldn't be too difficult with all your money." The pain reflected in her eyes pierced his heart. He didn't stop to think before the words came out his mouth. He couldn't even begin to fathom what made him say something so cruel. "That's not what I meant to say," he added, but it came out sounding like an afterthought.

She wrapped her arms around her stomach as if she'd been physically struck. "You're right, Jake. She's your daughter. But she's not your son."

"What does that mean?"

"She can run around in boy's clothes for the rest of her life, but it won't change the fact that she's going through puberty. I'm sorry the school called me when they couldn't find you-"

"School?" he cut her off. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you read the note I left you?"

It hadn't occurred to him to look for one. He realized that many things hadn't occurred to him before he started shooting off his mouth.  Especially the most important fact. Kate cared too much about Chloe to do anything that might hurt her. "I didn't see a note. What happened?"

"You were married, Jake. Figure it out. I'm sure you saw those things around the house every month. Fifteen is a little late to be starting, but the nurse assured her that it wasn't unusual since she's so physically active."

Puberty? Those things every month? "Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?"

"Unless you're an idiot. Did you want me to leave her to go the drugstore with the school nurse and humiliate her while she was already frightened about what was going on with her body?"

Apparently he was an idiot. That explained why Chloe had been so moody and withdrawn. He touched Kate's arm, but she yanked it back as if she'd been burned. "I'm sorry, Kate. I was worried when she wasn't at school. I didn't mean what I said."

Kate blinked her eyes and took a deep breath. "Yeah, you did. You have more respect for the stuff you scrape off the bottom of your boots than you do for me."

Had he led her to believe that? He had lost a lot of respect for himself in the last five minutes. "That's not true."

"Well, it feels like that right now. I spent eight dollars. Pay it back and we'll be even."

Even? He doubted he'd ever be able to even up now. "Kate."

"Forget it, Jake. I have no rights where Chloe is concerned. Your daughter. Your rules."

"I shouldn't have said what I did."

"For the record, you were wrong about that. I did try to adopt a child once, and all my money didn't get her for me. I guess Social Services didn't have a much higher opinion of me than you do."

"Please, Kate. Let me explain." Her eyes, normally so expressive, were empty. Why should he expect her to listen to him when he wouldn't listen to her?

"The only right I do have here is to tell you to get le hell out of my house. I won't bother your family anymore."

The deadly calm of her pale features made him nervous. "That's not what I want, Kate."

"That's what you got. Now, go." Her body trembled with fury.

He couldn't walk out and leave her like that, regardless of her wishes. When he refused to move, she turned and grabbed her purse off the sofa. Before he would maneuver around the furniture, she ran out the front door and across the lawn. Without any shoes on her feet, and wearing only a sweat suit she used as pajamas, she climbed up in her jeep and slammed the door.

"Kate, stop," he called to her.

She jammed the gearshift into reverse and backed up, coming dangerously close to him before hitting the brakes. "Go speak with your daughter, Jake. She needs you right now. I don't."

Well done, he congratulated himself as the jeep disappeared down the road. Not only had he deliberately hurt someone he really cared about, he had been unable o stop her from taking off in a highly emotional state, behind the wheel of a vehicle she wasn't used to driving yet.

He could only pray that she had more brains than him, which wouldn't take much. He went back to the house and threw himself on the sofa, hoping to come up with some profound words of wisdom for his daughter. He had to do something right today.

Chloe huddled against the wall at the far end of the living room. She’d spent the past half hour in bathroom, and he suspected she would have stayed another hour if the hot water hadn't run out. "It wasn't Kate's fault."

"I know." About ten minutes too late.

"Did you tell her to go away, Daddy?"

"No."

She let out an audible sigh of relief. She twisted the ends of her wet hair nervously around her fingers as she slowly walked towards the fireplace. When had his daughter grown up on him? Just as Trevor accused him, he still treated her like a child. He was only a couple of years older himself when she was born.

"Chloe. You can't go walking around the house in just your T-shirts anymore."

"Why?"

"You just can't. You're a young lady now. You have to get yourself a bathrobe for walking around in front of your father and uncle."

"Oh," she mumbled. "Kate told you."

He tapped the seat next to him on the sofa. "I thought we were pals, Chloe. Why didn't you tell me?"

She sat next to him and wrapped her arms around her bent legs. "I don't know."

"It's not like we haven't discussed this before."

"It was different before. It's easier talkin' to Kate. She understands."

"And I don't?"

Chloe shook her head. "No. You don't. Not about feminine things. You got mad because Kate and I traded clothes, but that's what girls do. If I had any friends besides Kate, you would know that. But let's face it. I'm not likely to have any other friends for a long time."

"You're just shy, honey."

"I'm not shy, Daddy. They laugh at me." She brushed away a tear, and it struck him that he'd never seen her cry before. "My Mama ran off and left me. My grandpa's in prison. And Nana and Pop try to have you declared unfit every couple of years. What parent is gonna let their kid come visiting here?"

Those were nothing more than the truths he'd lived with for the last ten years, but it hurt deeply to hear them coming from Chloe. She never once said a word about how the other kids taunted her at school.

After a small bout of hiccups, Chloe managed a smile. "You know, when I went to church on Sunday, everybody stared at me. But Kate told me to smile as if I didn't care. And after awhile, nobody stared anymore. Everybody started talking to me." She pointed at herself and repeated, "They talked to me. Kate is right. If I give them a chance, they'll give me a chance, too."

"That Kate is pretty smart, isn't she?"

Chloe punched his shoulder. "Yeah. So how come you get so stupid around her?"

His laugh was tinged with regret. "I don't know."

"Uncle Trevor says it's in the hormones. Men get stupid around beautiful women."

"Your uncle is an idiot."

"It proves his point." One day in young adulthood and Chloe had already developed a womanly instinct worthy of her gender.

"Go get changed. The cows are waiting."

She stood up and skipped across the room. He smiled. Despite the physical changes, a part of her would always remain his little girl. She stopped at the door to her room and turned back. "Are you mad at Kate?"

"No. But she sure is mad at me."

"She'll get over it," Chloe assured him.

If only he could be sure.

He went to the kitchen for a glass of water and noticed the slip of paper folded neatly on the table. Damn! If he'd found the note sooner, none of this would have happened. Why didn't women come with an instruction manual as detailed as the one for his tractor? Then he'd know how to fix the mess he'd made. He shoved the note in his pocket and headed over to the barn to take care of the milking.

* * * *

Kate waited for the one light in the entire town center to turn green. She had driven down the main street five times, and she got the light red every time. The law of averages said she had to get it green at least once, but statistics weren't in her favor. It was indicative of the way her life was going lately.

She desperately wanted a cup of coffee, but she didn't have any shoes, so she couldn't stop in a restaurant. She‘d traveled out from the town center in every direction looking for a drive-through, but Tannersville wasn't large enough to warrant the golden arches.

She felt numb, and that scared her. She could understand Jake being worried about his daughter. She didn't blame him. She blamed herself for allowing him to get close enough to hurt her. He always found just the right words to cut to her soul. The stab of a switchblade hadn't sliced nearly as deep as his words.

The guilt and anger she'd buried for so long could no longer by suppressed. But it did get a short reprieve when the loud blare of a horn from behind reminded her that the light had changed. She couldn't find a place to stop, and night began to fall, so she headed home.

She saw Jake waiting on his front porch, but she didn't acknowledge him as she ran into her own house. She found a warm fire in the hearth and a covered plate on the coffee table, which she convinced herself came from Chloe despite the fact that the girl didn't cook.

She did little justice to the roasted chicken and salad. After a halfhearted attempt, she pushed the plate away. She felt too weak to move to the bedroom, so she curled up on the sofa with her quilt and closed her eyes.

* * * *

"Kate."

Kate twisted to free herself from the constraints that held her arms. The haunting image of a small, freckled face, frozen in terror and screaming out her name sent a chilling shudder down her spine. She wanted to run to the child and comfort her, but they wouldn't let her. They wouldn't release her arms.

"Kelly," she choked out.

"Kate, wake up, please. It's me."

She opened her eyes. A blast from the overhead light blinded her and she quickly shut them again. She had a splitting headache. Her body was drenched and the room felt oppressively hot.

Chloe stood over her. "What's wrong, Kate?"

Kate sucked in a few calming breaths. "Oh, Chloe. I'm sorry. I must have had a bad dream." She struggled to sit up and push the blanket back.

"You're sick. I'll go get my father."

"No!" She clutched at Chloe's shirtsleeve to halt her. "I'm all right. I just need a couple of aspirin and some sleep."

"Are you sure?"

Kate forced a smile, and she hoped she pulled it off convincingly. "I'm sure. Promise me you're not going to say anything?"

Chloe seemed reluctant to make the promise but finally nodded. "I guess you don't feel like going for a walk tonight?"

She doubted her legs would carry her across the room, but she tried to look better than she felt. "I don't think so. How do you feel?"

Chloe shrugged and smiled. "I'm glad it finally came. I was beginning to think there was something wrong with me. I think it bothers Daddy more than me, though. He didn't make me do half my chores. And he keeps asking' me if I want chocolate."

Even though it sent a searing pain across her forehead again, she laughed. "Enjoy it while you can. It won't last, Chloe."

"I know. But I'm getting a new dress, a new robe, and real pajamas out of the deal, and it's not even my birthday. Not bad for something they call 'the curse.' "

Kate sighed at Chloe's excitement. She couldn't fault Jake in that respect. He made what could have been a traumatic experience for his daughter something she'd look back on and remember fondly.

"Are you ever gonna talk to Daddy again?"

Kate didn't wish to discuss the subject. Chloe didn't deserve to be in the middle of her problems with Jake. She yawned and stretched her arms above her head. "I'm really tired."