Kate Sherwood - Dark Horse 01 - Dark Horse (39 page)

“Problem?” He asks softly. There’s a little mole on the left side of Ryan’s chin, and Dan leans forward to kiss it a little, then lick it. “No problem, but I’m gonna be done pretty quick if you keep that up.” Ryan sounds a little shell-shocked.

 

“Okay. I don’t think I want to fuck, but… you can have my hand or my mouth.”

“Oh, shit,” Ryan almost whimpers. “Okay, I’m gonna be done pretty quick if you keep saying things like that too.” He closes his eyes tight, and Dan wonders if he’s reciting baseball scores, or thinking of kittens, or….

Dan grins and waits patiently for a minute. “You all right?”

Ryan nods. “Yeah, I think so.” He looks down at Dan. “Hey. You’ve got too many clothes on, man.”
“Well, no one’s taken them off of me yet.”

Ryan grins. “Sorry about that.” But instead of reaching for Dan’s jeans, he takes his hand, and pulls him toward the bedroom. “Come on. I want you horizontal.”

Dan can’t argue with that, especially when Ryan stops him by the side of the bed and eases his jeans and underwear off together, and then turns Dan and shoves him onto the mattress on his back, standing over him and looking down. “God, you are gorgeous.”

Dan grins up at him and raises a hand. “Come down here.” Ryan complies readily, stretching out on top of Dan, lining them up so their naked cocks rub together, smearing precome all over. He grinds down while he sucks on Dan’s collarbone, leaving a mark to match the one on his own skin. It feels good, great even, warm skin and warm mouths, but Dan wants more. He grabs Ryan’s hand and brings it down with his own, works them between their bodies and wraps their joined hands around their cocks, rubbing them both together. Ryan groans and thrusts even harder into the new tightness, and Dan picks up his rhythm and works with him. Ryan’s mouth gets increasingly frantic, roaming from Dan’s lips to his neck, all over his face and then down into the crook of his shoulder. It’s there that he stays, burrowing in a little and moaning, as he makes a few final, wild thrusts and then spasms and spills all over their joined hands and onto Dan’s chest. It feels like a baptism, like the start of something new, and Dan isn’t sure how he feels about it.

Ryan only rests for a few moments, and then his mouth is back on Dan’s, kissing deep and sloppy. It’s a good distraction from Dan’s thoughts. Ryan’s hand takes up its rhythm on Dan’s cock, but after only a few kisses he drags his lips down Dan’s body to take him in his mouth. He’s pretty good at this, and Dan looks down and enjoys the visual, the blond hair falling forward and brushing on Dan’s sensitive skin, the hollowed cheeks and rounded mouth…. It doesn’t take long before Dan’s gasping and throwing his head back. “Shit, Ryan, I’m gonna come,” he warns, but Ryan just hums a little and pulls off part way, working his tongue even faster and harder along the sensitive head. Dan feels the orgasm building and tries to hold off for a bit longer. Everything feels so good; he doesn’t want it to be over. But it washes over him anyway, more powerful than the ones he gets by himself, and he feels his hips thrusting, feels Ryan’s throat working around him as he swallows, and he’s almost crying by the time his body relaxes, and he collapses on the bed.

Ryan worms his way up to Dan’s face and kisses him, and it’s a little too sweet, a little too real, and Dan doesn’t know if he can handle it. He sits up, rests on the side of the bed, and Ryan sits up next to him. “You okay, man?”

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just… a little intense, you know?”

 

Ryan chuckles. “You’re telling me.” He brings a hand up to Dan’s shoulders. “You want to get under the covers, sleep for a bit?”

A part of Dan really does, but he thinks that might be a little too much. “No, thanks. I mean—” He turns to look Ryan in the eyes. “Thanks. For everything. I guess this is pretty much it, and… you know…. I haven’t known you for that long, but you’ve been… important.” He squints a little, looking for understanding. “Does that make sense?”

Ryan smiles a little sadly. “Yeah, kinda. But my work here is done. Is that what you’re telling me?”

“Well, that’s what you’re telling me, really. You know… you’re leaving. Which is great. I mean, it’s not great that you’re leaving, but it’s great that you’re getting your shot. I’m happy for you, really.”

Ryan looks like he’s trying to decide something, and finally bursts out with, “Do you want to try to keep it going? I mean, keep in touch at least?” He reaches out and runs a hand along Dan’s neck. “I just… I think maybe we could have something here. I know we said it was casual, and that’s cool, but….”

Dan smiles at him. “Dude, you’re going out on the road! You need your freedom. And I have no idea what I’m doing, but I don’t really want to be sitting around pining after a guy who I only knew for about a week.” The words are a little harsh, but he keeps his tone soft, and he thinks Ryan’s okay with it. “I mean, let’s stay in touch, absolutely. But… you know, let’s do it as friends. And then if we ever end up in the same place again, and the timing’s right… who knows?”

“Yeah. No, you’re right, that makes sense.” He smiles ruefully. “Damn, though. I really don’t want to say goodbye.”

 

Dan nods. “Yeah, me neither. That’s kind of why I want to go tonight. It’s just gonna be harder tomorrow.”

 

Ryan grimaces. “Yeah. Okay. So this is it?”

Dan reaches down and finds his underwear and jeans, lines up his feet and pulls them on as he stands. “Yeah, I think so. For now, at least.” He turns around and leans over, and this time he lets the kiss be as sweet and as real as it wants to be. When he pulls away, Ryan lets out a little huffing sigh.

“Okay. It’s been great to know you, Dan, and I’ll keep in touch.”

Yeah. Great to know you too.” It sounds wrong, sounds too distant, but he doesn’t know what to say that would be better, and maybe a little distance is what he needs. He scoops up his shirt and shoes in the living

room, but waits until he gets outside to pull them on. He doesn’t want to take the chance that he’d change his mind if he stayed inside a minute longer.

He climbs down the wooden stairs and heads out into the night, taking deep breaths of the cool, dark air. He thinks of Justin, wonders what he would think, but he remembers his resolution from that morning and tries not to let himself dwell on that. Instead, he tries to think of a happy Justin memory. The first one he comes up with is about a time that he made Justin laugh so hard that tomato soup came out of his nose at his mother’s dining room table. Not romantic, not poignant… but funny as hell. He laughs a little to himself, remembering Molly’s reaction, remembering how Justin had tried to stop laughing, and it had only made him laugh more, until he’d had to get up and spit what was left of his mouthful of soup down the drain. He’d stood there over the kitchen sink, broad shoulders shaking, and Dan had come up behind him and hugged him as they laughed together. Dan thinks Ryan would have liked Justin, and that Justin would have liked Ryan. He isn’t sure whether that makes what he did better, or if it makes it worse.

Chapter 31

D
AN
doesn’t sleep too well that night. He’s not sure he left things with Ryan in the right way. He had thought it would be easier if he didn’t stay any longer, but now it feels like he left too abruptly, and he wonders if he’s somehow cheapened the memory of the whole relationship. And he’s also still not sure how he should feel about moving on after Justin—Justin’s been out of his life for over a year, but he only actually died a month ago, so maybe Dan’s pushing on too fast. On a more concrete level, he’s worried about taking the barn to its first horse trial the next day. He’s been to plenty of competitions before, but he’s never been in charge, and he really doesn’t want to let Evan down. And that thought makes him anxious about Evan himself, and how things will be on the road with him. All in all, it’s not as restful a night as he might have hoped.

Still, he’s up with the sun the next morning, and heads down to the barn to start getting things ready. The horses were all bathed the day before, but they need to have their tack packed up and their shipping boots and blankets put on, and then Dan has to run over things with the riders and make sure that they’re bringing everything
they
need, and there’s a moment of panic when the shipping company calls to confirm a two-horse trailer when Dan had ordered a six. But it’s a six-horse trailer that shows up half an hour later, and the horses all load smoothly. Dan tries to calm himself as he helps Evan and Robyn pile the last bits of equipment into the trailer and the back of Evan’s Cherokee. Dan thinks about calling Ryan and trying to say a better goodbye, but he doesn’t know what he’d say differently, so he doesn’t call.

Tat is excited about riding in the horse trailer, so after Evan meets the driver and satisfies himself that he seems sane, Tat and Michelle climb up to the cab of the big truck, and Robyn and Dan settle in with Evan. Dan’s in the back seat, and he feels himself starting to nod off before they even get to town. He has trouble staying awake in a moving vehicle at the best of times, unless he’s driving, and this is not the best of times. Evan and Robyn are chatting happily in the front, and Dan doesn’t really feel like his presence is required, so he balls his jacket up to use as a pillow, and drifts off to sleep.

He has weird dreams, filled with motion and sound. He wakes up from a vision of Evan swimming through the flooded hallways of what Dan thinks might be his own elementary school, only to find the car stopped and Evan turned around in his seat and staring at him. He blinks a little confusedly, and then remembers where he is. He brings a hand up to his face to check for drool, but luckily it comes away dry.

“What’s up?” he asks, trying to sound somewhat coherent.

Evan grins. “Lunch break.” He’s looking at Dan fondly, and Dan bashfully smiles back. Justin used to say that Dan looked soft when he first woke up, as if he hadn’t gotten around to putting his walls up yet, and Dan wonders if that’s what Evan sees. He’s surprised to find that he doesn’t really mind if it is.

Robyn is already out of the car, stretching a little as she waits for them. Dan takes another second to wake up and then opens the car door and climbs out, indulging in a stretch of his own. The others are wandering back from the truck parked in front of them, and Dan finds the driver. “Can you open up the back for me? Let me give them a quick check while we’re stopped?” He looks at Robyn, then at the highway McDonalds they’re stopped at. “Can you just order me a Big Mac meal, with a Coke and an apple pie? I’ll be in soon.”

Tat’s excited to check on the horses as well, so she gives her order to Evan and climbs up the ramp with Dan while the others go into the restaurant. Tatiana is peering around at the animals like she’s never seen them before, and Dan tries to focus her a little.

“So, the first thing you want to check for is temperature. Too hot is worse than too cold, but neither is ideal, so you can change the vents if you need to. But I think we’re okay today. And we’re parked in the shade, so it shouldn’t get too hot while we’re sitting still. Then check each horse out. You don’t need to go right in with them, just tap their butts and see if they turn around and look alert, make sure they’re standing naturally. While you’re at it, check their boots and their sheets, and make sure everything’s still in place.” He and Tat do this, and Dan resists the urge to double-check the horses Tat looks at. He figures it’s important for her to think that he’s trusting her with a responsibility, and that he won’t automatically catch it if she messes up. But he sneaks a look when he can, and doesn’t see anything amiss. “Then check their hay—it’s not crucial on a trip this length, but having something to munch on can keep them calm.” He watches her carefully peek at each animal’s hay net, and grins. “They good?” She nods. “Okay, and we’ll give them water when we come back out. They usually won’t drink at the start of the break, but they probably will by the end. Everything make sense?” She nods, and they head out of the trailer and lift the ramp back up and bolt it shut. Dan checks the sight lines to be sure they’ll be able to see the trailer from inside, and then he and Tat head over.

The others have already bought the food and found tables by the windows, so Tat and Dan take quick detours to the washroom and then join them. The truck driver is a story teller, and while Michelle looks as if she’s heard about enough, Tat is still enthralled and gives the man a rapt audience. Dan catches Michelle’s eye, and softly asks, “Do you want to trade seats, ride in the car the rest of the way?”

Michelle smiles warmly at him. “No, I’m okay. But thanks for asking.”

They finish up the meal and tidy the table, and then Dan and Tat go out to pour water out of the containers they’d brought from the farm and offer it to the horses. They all have at least a little, and Dan goes back to the Cherokee confident that the horses are traveling well.

The rest of the trip is uneventful. Evan and Robyn try to get Dan to play stupid road games, and then to sing along to the radio. Robyn seems to hit her apex when she develops an epic game of “Would you rather…?” By the time the Cherokee pulls into the eventing grounds, she’s found the ultimate question of “Would you rather cut off your baby toe or sleep with Amy Winehouse?” and Dan and Evan have both bowed out of the game citing car sickness.

The next hour or so is busy with getting the horses unloaded, checked in, settled in their temporary accommodations, and unpacking and sorting out the equipment. The most valuable stuff will stay in the back of the Cherokee, but there’s still enough equipment of medium value that Dan uses bicycle locks to fasten the footlockers to the metal stall enclosures. It won’t stop a determined thief, but it will keep things from being casually lifted.

At three o’clock the cross-country course is opened to allow the competitors to walk it, and they all go out and have a look at what their horses will be asked to do the next day. Dan encourages the other three to think out loud and try to figure out the challenges for themselves, only interjecting when he thinks they’ve missed something. He takes special care to point out a few dangerous spots to Tatiana, and works out possible strategies with her to ensure that she gets herself and her horse through safely. Evan has tagged along with them and seems to be listening carefully, occasionally throwing worried looks at Tat.