Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1) (44 page)

But I don’t say what I’m thinking. I honestly don’t even know what to think.

“Are you freaked out?” he asks finally.

“A little,” I say, but it’s not entirely true. I’m not as freaked out as I know I should be. This should be a red flag for me. The feelings he has for me are incredibly intense, they always have been, and yet all I am actually thinking is that I’m flattered by it. I love that he needs me this much. He desires me so deeply that he doesn’t even think twice about putting my name on his body forever. It’s completely crazy! And yet, I trust it.

“I wanted to tell you. It’s just that every time I thought about what I should say, it always sounded crazy. I mean, how do you tell someone who’s petrified of everything you are, that you think she’s your only reason for living?”

My heart immediately feels like it skips a beat. He loves me too much, way more than I deserve. “It probably didn’t help that I was off with someone else,” I say, lowering my head in shame. Knowing everything I know now about what he went through after I ran away that night on the beach, my decision to push him away so carelessly and be with Bree instead makes me feel like a heartless bitch. Being scared of what happened that night just doesn’t seem like a good enough reason anymore.

“Did you love her?” he asks, running his fingers along the recent cuts I made last night, somehow seeming to know that they are because of Bree.

“Not like I love you.”

I see the comfort those words give him in his body language even though he does well not to show it in his facial expression. He continues to run his fingers over my other scars, gingerly following them down my arm, then to my side, onto my breasts, down my stomach, and over my belly button.

When his hand finally reaches my thigh, I push myself in closer to him so that his hand rests opened and firmly on the inside of my thigh. The minute I do this, his eyes become consumed with a desire that he can no longer contain.

In a brisk movement, he grasps my hair behind my head and slams his lips onto mine. I fall backward, but he instantly has his other arm behind my back. He cradles my body to his, as he half picks me up and moves me to the other end of the Jacuzzi. Water splashes everywhere and in all directions but he ignores the mess and continues to kiss me with an all-consuming need.

He lifts me up out of the water and sits me on the side of the tub against the wall. With his muscular arms on either side of my head pushing onto the wall, he leans his mouth into mine and kisses me more softly this time, but still with a desire he’s having a hard time containing. I let out a moan and tilt my head back. He lowers his lips to my neck and kisses it softly.

I want nothing more than to have him finally inside of me right now, but I know that we need protection first. And as much as I’d like to ignore Cecelia’s annoying voice echoing in my head,
‘You can actually get pregnant with this one’
, I just can’t.

“We need a condom,” I finally manage the instant he places his mouth on one of my nipples. I gasp at the intense feeling it gives me.

Parker pulls away and nods, sitting upright slowly. “You’re right,” he says. Then, in one quick swoop he has me up in his arms. With his hands on my ass and my legs wrapped around his waist, he carries me out of the bathroom and back into the bedroom.

He climbs onto the bed, still holding me close to his body. He’s kissing my bare skin with those beautiful full lips of his that I can never get enough of, as he lowers me onto the bed gently. Everything he does makes me feel loved and needed.

I look up into his eyes and I can’t believe this is actually happening between us right now. Sober, in his bed, in his life. Unbelievable.

I see so much want in those mesmerizing eyes as he slows his wandering hands for a moment in order to focus on the gaze he has on me. He doesn’t say anything, but I know that he’s looking for a certainty that I, in fact, want this. I do want this. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want this right now.

I nod and the instant that I do, he slams his mouth onto mine once again, showing me how much he wants it too.

After a few minutes of some seriously hardcore kissing and hand exploring, he pulls us apart and runs his fingers through my hair. “Hey you,” he whispers with a little half smile.

“Hey you,” I say back with a giggle.

I watch him saunter casually over to his dresser across the room. His muscles flexed, his ass so tight and gorgeous I just want to grab it. God, I can’t get enough of him!

He pulls out a condom from the top drawer and tosses it to me before strolling back over to the bed.

“I want to put it on you,” I say.

He shoots me a devilish smile, “Sure.”

I push him on his back and climb on top of him, straddling his thighs. He puts his hands behind his head and watches me as I rip the foil package with my teeth.

“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he says as I put the condom on him.

I lean over and whisper into his ear, “Make love to me, Parker Michelson,” I say.

He grabs me with both hands on my hips and flips me over so abruptly that my back is now on the bed and he’s over top of me before I even have a chance to blink. He enters me with one quick thrust, and I gasp.

Damn, it feels good! I want him; all of him, everything this body and soul can offer me. I want it all.

He begins moving in a slow but steady rhythm as he explores every ounce of my body with his lips and hands. It feels so good. He kisses my neck, my earlobes, and my lips. Oh, does he ever kiss my lips! I can’t help but moan over and over again, each and every time I feel his lips on my skin. They are unbelievably soft and smooth in spite of his rugged demeanor, and I can’t resist them.

I start to move my hips with his, mimicking his rhythm. He lets out a low groan and without separating ourselves from one another, takes me by the waist and rolls himself on the bottom placing me now on top.

My eyes dart around the room uncertainly. I’m feeling a bit self-conscious because as many times as I’ve had sex with other men, I’ve never once been on top and in control of the situation. This is unfamiliar to me and it has me very nervous.

Parker must sense my uneasiness, though, because he carefully slides his hands from my waist down to my thighs, and helps me move our bodies in the same rhythmic motion we had just been doing moments earlier.

I lean down so that my body is now lying on top of his, but I don’t stop moving. I keep the rhythm steady, beginning to feel the sensation of an orgasm approaching. My breathing gets heavier as I move back and forth, and the sound of my panting makes his entire body react.

He moans loudly, taking his hands from my thighs and sliding them all the way up my body till he reaches my hands. He intertwines our fingers together and positions our arms up over our heads pointing at his headboard. He kisses me on my lips, smoothly, softly, and romantically. He kisses my top lip and then my bottom one. He kisses my cheeks, and my forehead. Then, just as he’s about to kiss my lips again, his eyes close and he lays his head back into the pillow. His breathing becomes broken and labored; I can tell he’s unable to hold in his orgasm much longer, and to be honest, neither am I. I move faster as I watch his face contort into that look of tortured pleasure and then… he begins to shudder. I close my eyes and allow my orgasm to take me over as well.

I slow my rhythm until I stop moving completely, and with him still inside of me, we lie there together in an almost exhausted state. Our chests are both heaving as I listen to his heart pounding into my ear, letting the fast and steady beats remind me of how excited I can make him. I love that I can do that to him so effortlessly. His desire for me is undeniable. He needs and wants me in equal measure, a combination I’ve never once experienced with Bree.

Parker sighs happily and wraps his arms around me as he kisses the top of my head. It’s as if he’s thanking me for loving him back finally, after all of this time. The gesture makes me want to melt. This guy couldn’t get any more perfect even if he tried.

“I’ve never done that before,” I say to him breathlessly, lifting my head up to look him in the eye.

He smiles, his left eyebrow rising slightly. “You did great,” he says with a chuckle.

He doesn’t ask why I’ve never been on top before, or even tells me why it is he decided to switch me to that position, but I know it’s just another example of how much he knows me even better than I know myself. He knew I needed that control. Nobody has ever given me that control before. Having it with Parker felt liberating and in a way, it made me feel even closer to him.

“I don’t want to move you, baby, but I have to,” he says, and I knowingly get up off of him and roll onto the bed. He removes the condom and walks over to the bathroom with it. When he returns, he doesn’t put his clothes back on, instead, he crawls into the bed next to me and holds my body close to his, as if he’s a child and I’m his security blanket.

“I like how our bare skin feels next to each other,” he says.

“Me too,” I reply with a dreamy sigh. I close my eyes and take comfort in his warmth, drifting off into a peaceful sleep for the rest of the night.

Bree

When I awake the next morning my bedroom door is still wide open, the way my mom forced me to keep it, but I don’t hear anyone walking around downstairs. I reach for my phone sitting on the bedside table to see if Evan sent me a text. I had turned the volume down after my mom went back to bed just in case he would text me, because the last thing I needed was to lose my phone on top of being forbade to ever see my boyfriend again.

My mother is such a drama queen.

Evan:
Coming to pick u up. Your mom gone?

Crap!

I look at the time and see that it’s nearly eight AM. I check the time that he sent the text. Five minutes ago! I toss the phone on the bed, scurry out of my room, and run down the hallway to my parent’s room.

No one’s there.

“Mom, dad, you guys still home? I slept in,” I call out.

After a few moments with no reply, I walk back to my room and pick the phone up from the bed.

Me:
Coast is clear. Running late… be down in 5.

I hurry to the bathroom so I can quickly splash my face with water, brush my teeth, pull my hair back into a messy knot, and put on a dab of lip-gloss. A minute later I’m back in my room choosing the first outfit I find in my closet and putting it on. I have no time to worry about how I look this morning. Hopefully, Evan won’t notice just how little of an effort I took in making myself ‘pretty’ because that would seriously suck.

I hear a knock on the door downstairs and grab my bag, making my way toward the staircase. As I’m approaching the door, however, my dad shows up out of nowhere and answers it before I can.

To say Evan is startled by my father’s presence would be putting it mildly. He’s a stuttering mess and why wouldn’t he be? I told him only five minutes earlier that the coast was clear.

I reach the door as Evan stumbles over his final words. He’s trying to ask for permission to see me, but it’s not coming out as anything more than gibberish.

“I’m just driving her to school,” he finally manages in an actual structured sentence just as I push my dad aside to join him on the porch.

“We’re late, Dad,” I say, taking Evan’s hand into mine and starting toward the patio stairs. Evan hesitantly follows behind me.

“No wait, wait,” Dad says, almost sounding amused. “Aren’t you going to introduce us, Bree?”

I turn around. “I wasn’t planning on it,” I say with a hint of irritation in my voice.

He ignores my words and puts his hand out to shake Evan’s. “You must be Evan,” he says, taking a step toward us. “I’m Dean. I’ve heard a lot about you, son.”

Evan’s face turns pale. He shifts his weight uncomfortably, and I think I even see him taking a step away from my father. It’s cute. My dad couldn’t hurt a fly even if he’d want to, and there honestly isn’t much about him that’s intimidating. Evan doesn’t know that, though.

Dad smiles, and not a condescending smile either, a sincere one.

“Mr. Porter,” Evan starts to say, but dad cuts him off.

“Listen Evan, I know my wife doesn’t think much of you and I can’t change that. She’s a very passionate and stubborn woman. But I can tell that my daughter has really taken to you, and she usually is a pretty good judge of character, so that makes you ok in my books. Are we clear?”

“Um… I guess?” Evan says like it’s a question, then turns to look at me in bewilderment.

I shrug, feeling just as lost as he is.

“What are you doing, Dad?” I ask, calling him out on his good guy approach. “You do know that he was in my room with me last night, right?”

Evan shoots me an astounded look that seems to say ‘seriously?’ and I smile at him apologetically. The last thing I want is to make him even more uncomfortable than he already is, but my dad is acting strange and I can’t just let that go. This isn’t typical behavior for Dean Porter.

Dad looks at me disappointedly, “Yes Bree. So I’ve been told. But you know, I don’t think he was the only one participating in that, do you?”