Keep From Falling (Markson Grove Series Book 1) (53 page)

“This seat taken?” she asks, motioning to the seat closest to the aisle. I turn to Spencer to see what he thinks and he just shrugs. When I turn back to give her my answer, she's already sitting comfortably next to me, her chair reclined, and her feet pushed against the seat in front of her. She smiles a huge, happy grin. The smile seems sincere at least.

“Hey Spencer,” she says, looking beyond me and waving to him. I wonder if Spencer's had many conversations with her over the years since Mark has passed away.

“Adrienne,” he says with a smirk. “How ya been?”

She shrugs, stealing a glance behind us at Parker and Skylar. “Same old story, different day.”

“You know who didn't hurt who?” I decide to ask, because it's pretty obvious that she won't be leaving my side for at least six hours depending on how many stops we make along the way. I might as well strike up a conversation. God knows my boyfriend won't bother talking to me, might as well talk to his ex.

“I know Parker didn't hurt Skylar,” she replies, matter-of-factly. “Parker won’t hurt a girl… not even when he's being kinky.”

Eww! Way too much information!

Spencer bursts out laughing, throwing his head back. “And you would know,” he says once his laughter subsides.

She winks at him mischievously, “I certainly would.”

“Well, I definitely didn't need to know any of that,” I say, wanting nothing more than to remove myself from this conversation immediately. I don't want to picture what Parker does in bed! If I do that, then the next thing I'll be imagining is what he's doing with Skylar in bed and, oh my God, I really don't want that image in my head at all.

She giggles. “Sorry, it's just that I know what everyone is saying can't be true. There’s no way he'd ever hurt her. He's a
Lindor
chocolate.”

This time I actually do crack a smile. In spite of her outward bluntness, she's kind of funny, I'll give her that. “A
Lindor
chocolate, huh?”

“Yeah, you know, appealingly decadent on the outside, with an irresistibly smooth center, guaranteed to melt your heart.”

Spencer grins from ear to ear. “Parker, appealingly decadent on the outside. Yeah, I like that.”

I roll my eyes. “I wouldn't exactly go that far,” I mumble, and they both burst out laughing yet again.

Once Spencer catches his breath, he continues on with the serious aspect of the conversation. “Yeah, well, we already knew he didn’t do it.”

“Oh yeah?”

For a moment, I actually begin telling her the truth but I stop myself abruptly. There's something about this girl that makes me comfortable and willing to share. I have to be careful with her. It’s strange, I've never had a conversation with her before in my life, but she's an open book, her smile is contagious, and I like that.

“Who did it?” she asks, noticing my hesitation.

“Why don't you ask them?” I say instead, gesturing toward Skylar and Parker. I see Parker's eyebrows rise as he notices us looking in their direction.

“Nah,” she says, turning around again. “I was just curious. It really doesn't matter. So you and Evan, huh?”

Holy jump of topic!
She doesn't skip a beat, does she? But I can't help but be mesmerized by her inviting smile. It's hard not to be drawn to her. She's nosy, but for some reason I don't mind it. “Yeah… so?” I challenge.

“I thought you were gay.”

And all her charisma disappears instantly.

“Did you think Skylar was gay?”

She shakes her head. “No, I knew Skylar was bi. But you, I thought you were gay. Like Spencer here,” she says, reaching over and patting him on the hand.

Spencer laughs. “Thanks for pointing out my sexual orientation, Adrienne. For a minute there, I wasn't sure.” He shoots her an amused grin.

It’s obvious to me that he has, in fact, spoken to her since Mark’s death, and I think they might even have become close. It’s easy to see’s that he’s comfortable with her.

“I don't know, Adrienne.” I narrow my eyes, attempting to make it clear to her that her comment irritates me. “I'm just a girl who was with a girl and now I'm with a guy. Why does it have to be anything more than that? Why does there always have to be a label for it?”

“I guess there doesn't. Sorry if I offended you,” she says, dropping her voice and glancing at me apologetically. My anger dissipates quickly. She affects my emotions in a way that I can't quite understand. I look into her eyes, they are the most beautiful shade of grey, and they fit perfectly with her natural copper colored hair. I'm suddenly very aware of how absolutely stunning she is. “Thank you,” I reply, almost breathlessly.

We simultaneously look to where Evan is sitting with Kelsie and Derrick. All three of them are turned around staring back at us. Evan must be having a field day with this. I know it's terrible, but it actually makes me happy. Maybe this will give him the incentive to finally talk to me.

As if he’s reading my mind, I watch as he gets out of his seat, and moves toward us.

“What the hell are you doing?” he asks in a hiss and I can't be sure if the question is directed toward me or toward Adrienne.

“I'm just sitting in a seat on the bus,” Adrienne replies to him sweetly, assuming the question was directed at her. It probably was, but I honestly can’t be sure.

“There are a lot of places for you to sit, Adrienne, it doesn't have to be next to Bree.”

She rolls her eyes, letting out an annoyed sigh, “Oh for God's sake Evan, calm down. My sluttiness isn't going to rub off on your new girlfriend. Relax.”

I glance at Evan, not being able to hide my surprise at the tone she so casually takes on with him. I turn to Spencer to see his reaction. He's shaking his head and stifling a laugh. He pretends to not be paying attention to the exchange as he scrolls through his
Facebook
newsfeed on his phone. But I know better, this conversation is way too interesting for him to actually be ignoring it.

“Can we talk?” Evan asks me, choosing to ignore Adrienne's snarky comment.

“Now you want to talk to me,” I say, making my annoyance clear. I know I shouldn't be acting this way, all week I've been waiting for him to actually want to talk to me, but now that he's finally broken the silence, I’m bothered that it's only because Adrienne chose to sit down next to me.

“Yes,” he says, quickly adding, “please.”

“Fine. Where?”

“There are two seats right over there,” he says, pointing toward Skylar and Parker. I see the empty seats a few rows ahead of them.

I get up and start toward the seats.

“See you guys!” Adrienne calls after us, cheerful as ever. Evan groans.

We take our seats and I look over at Adrienne who's still watching us closely with a goofy grin on her face. Spencer nudges her to turn around and after another short moment, she does.

“She's… different.” I say finally, turning to look at Evan.

His face turns a shade of pink and he shakes his head in what I can only interpret as embarrassment. “She's something all right,” he says with no amount of humor in his reply.

“I'm going to be honest, though, I can't picture you with her. She doesn't really seem like your type.”

He shrugs. “Yeah, well, that's probably why it didn't work out.”

I look down at my hands and fiddle around with my fingers nervously. After a few silent moments, I glance up at him once again. “Will we be working out?” I ask. I hold my breath in anticipation of his response.

His face instantly softens. He pushes himself in closer to me and wraps his arm around my shoulder, “I want us to,” he replies just as quietly, and I finally exhale the breath I’ve been holding in.

“But I'm not ok with you being friends with Skylar. I'm sorry… At least not right away.”

“If you could just try to understand,” I say turning in the chair so that I can look him right in the eye.

“There's nothing to understand. She's your ex and I'm not comfortable with you spending time with her alone.”

“She's my best friend.”

“Who you are in love with,” he returns pointedly.

“I don't love her like that.”

He shakes his head disappointedly. “See, you're already lying to me. I don’t want to worry about what you are doing with her when I'm not looking. I shouldn't have to. But I will because you can't even be honest with yourself about what she means to you.”

“You're wrong. She's my friend. The only thing I'm missing about her is that part of our relationship. The physical aspect isn't there anymore.”

“See that's the problem, though, I don't want to share the emotional aspect either, not with someone who knows you so intimately. I want you to be mine. Just mine. I know it's selfish, I know it's horrible, but I'm just not capable of sharing someone I love. And if you're not capable of letting her go, then you're going to have to let me go instead. That's the only solution I have.”

“You can't be serious,” I say, deflated. I should have seen this coming and yet I didn't. Not really. I feel my heart sink in my chest.

“This wasn't easy for me to decide to say to you, ok? I don't want to be the bad guy, here. I'm just trying to be honest with you about this. I don't want to lose you, God, you have no idea how much I hate even saying any of this.”

“Then don't say it.” The tears begin to well up in my eyes, but I swiftly wipe them away.

“I can't do with you what I did with Adrienne. I just can’t,” he returns, his face looking pained, his eyes pleading.

What do I say? What do I do? I just don't know, and I hate it!

“I need time to think about it,” I decide finally. What I really mean is that I need time to talk to Skylar about it. This isn't a decision I should be making without her knowing that I'm thinking about making it. But should I even be considering it at all? Am I really ready to throw twelve years of friendship away for a guy?

“How long do you need?”

“I just need tonight,” I tell him.

He nods. “You're going to talk to her about it aren't you?” he asks with a look of defeat in his eyes.

“I love you,” I say instead, hoping it's enough to make him feel some sort of comfort from all of this. It’s the first time I say the words, but they don’t seem to fill him with any amount of happiness. My love for him is shadowed by confusion, and he knows it.

“I love you too,” he says, leaning in and kissing my lips firmly. His hand is behind my head, grasping my hair as if it's the last bit of me he will ever get to hold.

It feels like goodbye.

He gets up and returns to his seat next to Derrick and Kelsie. I watch him walk away and once he's seated I steal a glance behind me to Skylar. Her head is leaning up against Parker's shoulder and her eyes are closed. She didn't see or hear my conversation with him and I'm grateful for that. But judging by the look on Parker's face and his narrowing eyes directed at me, I'd say that he did.

My face flushes red and I quickly turn away.

Evan

The moment I break away from our kiss and return back to the front of the bus, I'm an emotional mess. Saying those things to Bree was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I hate how vulnerable it has made me. I especially hate that people are all around seeing it, knowing that my girlfriend is in love with someone else and that I'm the fool who thought I could change it. I know now that I was wrong. She will never be able to walk away from Skylar.

I take my seat beside Kelsie. She reaches for my hand and squeezes it tight. I'm grateful for the comfort, but it feels like pity. Everyone seems to be giving me the pity look now. Even Adrienne gave me a forced smile as I walked back to my seat.

I hate it.

“What did she say?” Kelsie asks. Derrick scoots forward in his seat and looks beyond Kelsie so he can see me too.

“She said she needs to think about it and she'll tell me her answer in the morning.”

“That's not too bad then,” Derrick says, attempting to keep me positive.

Kelsie nods. “You knew when you decided to ask this of her that she'd probably not be able to decide right away.”

“She's sharing a room with her tonight. Asking this of her isn’t going to make a difference. She loves Skylar.”

“I think she loves you too.”

“Not like she loves her,” I say with a sigh, and the truth of the words feel like they are cutting me up into pieces. Why did I ever let myself get so invested in this girl?

“Why didn't you stay over there and sit with her for the rest of the bus trip?” Derrick asks, breaking into my depressing thoughts.

I shrug. “Everything is up in the air for us. Doesn't feel right pretending like it's not.”

“So, we have six hours on a stuffy bus just the three of us then.” Kelsie attempts to change the mood of the moment with a change of subject.

“Fun,” I mumble sarcastically, digging my phone out of my pocket. I've mastered exactly where to touch the broken screen so that it can pretty much do anything I need it to do. Other than texting, it's still functioning half decently and my music playlist still plays, which is a bonus.

Kelsie shakes her head at the sight of the pitiful thing. “Are you ever going to replace that?”