Keeper'n Me (31 page)

“See those people right there?” She pointed to a group of about eight people all clumped together on
another blanket a few feet away. “That's our dad's brother Harlin. Never comes here, him. First time him'n his fam'ly been here in years.”

She spent the next twenty minutes or so pointing out people I'd never seen before and telling me about their place in our family. All the while she was doing this we kept on meeting people's eyes and they all smiled over at us and nodded their heads towards me real shy-like. I never knew how big our family really was until that night. Big flock of Ravens. Big.

It wasn't long before Chief Isaac came in wearing his chief's clothes, followed by Keeper and an old man I'd never seen.

“That's old Lazarus,” Jackie said real respectful. “Lazarus Green. Midewewin teacher from Rat Portage. Gonna be real special prayer said tonight.”

The three of them made their way towards the open space beside us. Keeper nodded and winked and old Lazarus looked at me with a wide-open look that made me feel kinda funny inside. Like he knew me. Chief Isaac was really into his chief role and made big gestures to everyone he made eye contact with. Us Indians we talk with our hands a lot but old Isaac was really playing it up that night. Probably because of old Lazarus being there, I figured. When they sat down Isaac gestured with his hand and the drummers stopped.

“Meegwetch, meegwetch,” he said in their direction. “Welcome. Real glad everyone could make it to our feast. First time we had a feast here in a long time now.
Good to see so many friends from all over. Share with us. Help us celebrate. Help us strengthen the circle. And afterwards, once we ate, maybe come on over here and help me stand up!”

The room erupted in laughter. One thing about Chief Isaac, he kinda gets caught up in the politician thing sometimes but he never forgets the Indian way of doing things. There's always time for a good laugh, and Isaac was right there with the first funny of the evening.

“We have a very special guest with us tonight. One you probably already know but for those of you who don't, let me tell you a little bit about Lazarus Green.

“Lazarus Green is from the Rat Portage Reserve. He's been a respected teacher and leader of his people for longer'n most of us have been around. He's ninety-four years old and the way he tells it … you young women better be on the lookout … he gets a little frisky once he's ate!”

The old man cackled, and when I watched his wrinkled old face crack up in a toothless grin I found myself liking him right away. Some of that eerie feeling in my belly eased away.

“Anyway, Lazarus is here to help us celebrate. Celebrate the undertakin's of young Garnet Raven here, who's become a well-liked part of our service since he's been home with us an' also to help us celebrate comin' together like this. It's somethin' we need to be doing more often. So I'd like to ask Lazarus Green to say our openin' prayer for us tonight.”

We all stood as the old man rose to his feet. Lotta the time us Indians will stand for prayers at ceremonies. Showing our respect for the person praying and to show that we're not afraid to stand before the Creator in prayer. Ma took my hand while we all bowed our heads.

Lazarus cleared his throat and began to pray in Ojibway. He prayed for a long time and although I only understood a small part of it I could feel the sincerity in his voice. Been around a bit with Keeper since then and heard a lotta old people pray and them old languages really stir something up inside me every time I hear them. Heard Sioux, Cheyenne, Cree, Blackfoot and it always hits me the same. Every now and then Ma would give my hand a squeeze and when I heard my name come outta the jumble of Ojibway words she squeezed even harder. Lazarus's voice rose and fell, rose and fell for a long time, and that room around us was as quiet as I ever heard anywhere. Not even the little kids were squealing around all that time. When he finally finished and began to sit down I could see people nodding their heads towards each other and smiling. He grinned at me when I sat down and gave me the Indian sign for “travel well.”

Keeper was busy arranging a big smudging pot in front of old Lazarus. Pretty soon cedar smoke began to fill the room. With a quick little signal from Keeper, Stanley'n Jackie and a handful of other young men got to their feet. I started to get up too but Jackie pushed me back with one big hand. He smiled at me and shook his head. For the next while the young men brought each of
the dishes over to Lazarus, who passed them over the smudging pot, which was a large shallow clay bowl with intricate designs around the outside. The men then moved around the circle offering food to all the elders and then the women and children. It took about half an hour to get everyone fed before they filled their own bowls and sat down. All the while the serving was going on the drummers and singers kept up a steady stream of songs. When one drum group stopped to eat another took up the singing.

There were smiling faces everywhere. People busied themselves with the meal and visited all around their little areas. Some sat crosslegged, others lay on one elbow, some on their stomachs.

“More smackin' of lips goin' on around here than at your average drive-in movie,” Jane said.

“Hey-yuh,” Stanley offered in agreement. “Only here when you get more goose it's a family thing!”

“Ojibways're the only people I know can eat'n gab at the same time without missin' a beat,” Jackie said, with his mouth full of moose meat just to prove his point.

“That's why we got such big cheeks,” Ma said, getting all our attention right away.

“Oh yeah, Ma? Why's that?” I asked, knowing it was a set-up.

Ma smiled real big. “On accounta's not polite to be stickin' food in your face when someone's talkin'. So us we can stash a bunch in the sides of our face'n keep right on chewin'!”

We all laughed. Keeper waved me over to where he'n Isaac'n Lazarus were sitting.

“Garnet Raven, this is Lazarus Green,” Isaac said, waving a piece of bannock in Lazarus's direction.

“Meet'cha,” Lazarus said, offering his hand.

“Ahnee,” I said. “I'm happy to meet you.”

Elders got a way of shaking hands that's real comforting. They take yours in both of theirs real soft and shy-like and hold onto it all the time they talk to you. Used to surprise me lots when people around here did that but I got used to it after a while. Still, old Lazarus holding onto my hand like that felt really good, like there was a current there.

“Harold'n me, we did lots together. Long time friends us. Your dad, he'd come see me now'n then. Good man. Be prouda you today. Both of them.” He looked into my eyes with that wide-open look I first noticed about him.

“Thank you. Meegwetch,” I said.

“Welcome. You keep listenin' to this one here.” He hooked his thumb Keeper's way. “Him'n me are gonna be workin' together for the next while. Gonna be away lots now. But you listen what he tells you when he's here. Same road. Only now's time to go further. Both of you. So you listen. Do what he tells you. This thing you done, it's good but it's only the start of the trail. There's more.”

“I'll listen,” I said, realizing that the current I was feeling from the old guy was a current of kindness. Pure. Purer than any I ever felt before or since. “Keeper'n me are friends now. I … I trust him.”

“That's good. That's good. Trust gotta be there when you travel this road. He told me your dream. That's what you gotta work on now. That dream's the key to your road. Stick with it till you run outta questions. Then wait for another one. Another teachin'. Another dream maybe. They'll come if you want 'em. Them they always come when you want 'em. When you work for 'em.”

“Lazarus?”

“Hey-yuh.”

“My grampa'n my dad … am I … like them?”

“Hmmpfh. If you got courage in you, if you got lotta love, if you got a feelin' for the land inside you feels warm, if you get scared, doubtful, worried'n ain't afraid to tell about it, an' if you move more towards the gentle than the tough … then maybe you're like them. Ain't for me to say. Ain't for you to say. Ain't for anyone to say right now on accounta no one gonna know till you're done walkin' this road what you been like. That's how we stay alive forever, you'n me'n Keeper here. Everybody. That's how we stay alive forever.”

“How do you mean?”

“Stories get told about us when we're gone. People feel same way inside when they hear them stories as they felt when we were with 'em. Nice. Safe. Warm. Loved. That's how we stay alive forever. Make a good story of our life right here. People always gonna wanna tell it then. Part of us gonna be alive in the hearts of our relatives years'n years from now. Like your grampa'n dad are alive in you right now. That's how.”

“So us we're all storytellers?”

“Hey-yuh. Right now. Story of our life. One thing, though.”

“What's that?”

“Them they always asked questions too. Do that you'll be like 'em all the time.”

“Hmmpfh. Meegwetch.”

“Welcome. You come see me any time with this one here. I'll be expectin' you.”

“I will. Gotta go now. Get busy.”

“Busy?”

“Hey-yuh. Got a story to work on.”

They laughed. Good and long and deep. As I walked back to my family they were all smiling. Sitting down on the blanket with them felt like the most natural thing in the world.

“So what'd you'n old Lazarus talk about?” Jackie asked.

“Not much. Storytellin'. That's all.”

“Kinda storytellin'?”

“Don't know yet.”

“Don't know yet?”

“Hey-yuh. Kinda startin' to get an idea, though. Kinda startin' to get an idea.”

“Too much bannock ain't good for some people!”

We laughed but as we met each other's eyes I knew we all understood. Funny how that works sometimes.

It took about an hour before everyone had eaten their fill. The only things left on the four tables at the front of
the hall were a few scraps of bannock. There were the sounds of happy burping and the flick of matches and lighters as people got ready to enjoy an aftersupper smoke. It wasn't long before Chief Isaac stumbled to his feet. His cheeks puffed out like they do when you wanna keep a big burp to yourself and he adjusted the belt on his trousers as he stood. The drummers stopped.

“Well, that was fun! My mouth ain' been that busy since I made that speech for fundin' last year! Ahem … anyway. Movin' on here. We wanna get Garnet Raven to come over here. Garnet's been here with us for about a year'n a half now. You all know about him bein' taken away when he was a baby. Twenty years he was gone. Made it back last year and has been livin' with his ma'n his family here ever since.

Most of you know how different he was when he got here. Fact, it's been the talka the town ever since! Heh, heh. Kinda looked like somebody spray-painted Gumby all glow-in-the-dark and glued an sos pad to his head! Heh, heh. Anyway, most of you know that he's been really workin' hard at bein' one of us. Fact, he's put lotta us to shame for learnin' as much as he has. Been workin' with Keeper here'n doin' lotsa smudgin' and learnin' about our ways. Old ways. Somethin' I guess we get too busy for sometimes but somethin' a lotta us need to pay attention to. Garnet here's been an example to all of us how important them things are. So we wanna get him over here. The Red Eagle drummers from Shoal Lake have brung an honor song especially for you, Garnet, an'
they're gonna sing it now. It's your song. Always gonna be sung in your honor now. While they're singin' I want you all to stand and those of you who brung gifts for him can come and offer them to him while the drummers sing. Garnet?”

Everyone stood at the same time as me. Walking across that floor that night felt like my feet were concrete. Every step was a chore. It was the most nervous I'd ever been in my whole life. I never expected gifts. I figured we'd just dance and sing and celebrate. It was all getting to be a bigger and bigger surprise as we went along. People were looking at me and there were more than a few shiny eyes that night. Isaac motioned me to stand between Keeper'n Lazarus. As I took my place they both reached out to shake my hand and give me a big warm hug. Standing there that night between those two old guys felt like the safest, most comfortable place in the world despite my nervousness.

I never knew too much about the differences between honor songs and other pow-wow songs before but that night I felt it. There was a note of celebration ringing through those Ojibway words that reached inside and touched a special place in me and I felt the tears coming. When I looked over at Keeper he just nodded his head like he knew how I felt and was telling me to just let 'em go. I did. Pretty soon people started coming up to me carrying things. They placed them at my feet and then stood to shake my hand and hug me. The song went on and on and that pile of gifts got
bigger'n bigger. The warm feeling inside of me from all those hugs, all those other heartbeats, was almost overwhelming. Every face was a tearfilled face that night. By the time the song was over and I saw my ma reach over and pick something up and head my way I thought I'd pretty much had it all as far as honoring was going. Turned out I was wrong.

Her eyes were all sparkly and them tears streaming down her face were like little creeks of silver. She was carrying something bright yellow that looked almost familiar. She handed it to me and then collapsed in my arms crying and kissing my neck over and over again. The room was quiet again. When she finally let go she looked me deep in the eyes.

“Prouda ya, my boy,” she said. “Prouda ya. These people're prouda ya too. You're one of us now. Always gonna be no matter what or where you might go. Always gonna be one of us. Them twenty years? Gone now. You're home in our hearts. So me, I want you to have this shirt I made for you. Us we call 'em ribbon shirts. Special kinda shirts we wear for special occasions, like ceremonies, feasts'n stuff. Got colored ribbons on it remind us of things. You ain't got no tribal colors yet but me I sewed on these blue'n green ones on accounta they were your grampa'n dad's colors. Wanted 'em to remind you of where you come from'n how you wanna be. Think you'll recognize the shirt.”