Keeping Hope (Broken Girl Series) (14 page)

“Can’t what, Ken? Open your heart? Be comforted? You know that makes no fucking sense, right?”

“I don’t know anything anymore,” I whisper. He pulls me against him again, holding my head firm to his chest. I couldn’t fight him off physically or mentally, even if I wanted to.

The elevator pings as we arrive at the floor to access the ICU suites. The door opens quickly. I look out to see Jake standing there, hands in his pockets, looking disheveled. His head tilts up slowly, his face hard and stern as he looks between us. Pete loosens his hold as I hastily back away.

“Jake, fuck dude, I didn’t realize you’d still be here.” Pete steps forward, embracing him in a man hug. “So good to see you, man.”

Jake pulls back, his face remaining stern, no sign of a smile in sight. His eyes dart between me and Pete, confusion written all over his face. He narrows his eyebrows before glaring at me.

“So, where the fuck is Cole? This all looks a little too cozy.” He points between us. “Is there something going on here?” his voice adenoid as he stands, his face like thunder, in front of us.

I shake my head and drop my eyes, before straightening up, looking him dead in the eyes. I wasn’t going to let him talk like this. I was here to see Abbey, not get the third degree from Jake.

“There’s nothing going on here, Jake,” I state, resolutely.

“Yeah, man. Fuck, Kennedy is just upset. I’m comforting a friend, just the same as I would you.” Pete attempts to pull Jake into him, in an exaggerated way, laughing, and obviously trying to break the tension.

“Dude, let go of me,” he chuckles. “Pete, you’re such a dick,” he says, straightening himself, looking around to see if anyone is watching.

“I’m sorry, guys. My heads all over the place.”

“Jake, honestly it’s okay. This must be so hard for you.”

“Yeah, this is so fucked up. My mom and dad are insisting I go home. They are refusing to pay anymore hotel bills, so I guess I have no fucking choice.” He lets out a huge sigh, pushing his shaky hands through his molten brown hair. “They’ve been great, ya know, but they are worrying that this will affect my grades. I guess a part of me knows they’re right. I just don’t know that I can leave her.”

“It’s not forever, Jake,” I offer, trying to reassure him. I stroke my hand down his arm. He smiles sadly, just a slight curl of his lips in the corner as he starts to lead us down the corridor toward ICU. I look around us, my eyes fleeting from one end of the hall to another, searching for where we need to be.

Jake leads us through the double doors into a bright white receptionist area. There are nurses and doctors seated all around and I physically start to shake as I take a fleeting look around. There are rooms opposite the reception area, separated by glass doors. I put my hands around my throat, trying to stop the bile I feel rising.

Jake walks back over and leads us part way down the corridor, pushing open the door.

I gasp loudly, my hand flying to mouth. Abbey is lying on a hospital bed, hooked up to all sorts of machines. I dash over to her, dropping into the seat at the bed side. I take her hand, kissing it over and over. I look up at an unrecognizable Abbey. The pain burns inside me like scalding hot water, increasing in waves, but never quite ceasing. I want to change things. It ought to be me there, not Abbey.

This is all my fault. I caused this.

I brought the evil into their lives and now my one true friend is laying here in front of me, critical and fighting for her life. I beg with her, plead for her to not give up. My sobs become louder, as I grip with every ounce of hope that she will be okay, that she will make it.

I bring her hand up to my cheek, just holding it there. Frozen.

I feel Pete’s hand on my back. I glance over to Jake standing in the doorway, one arm folded across him, the other holding his hand up to his mouth, his clenched fist rests against his lips.

I can see it written all over his face. He blames me. And I know he’s right. My hand flies down, holding my stomach. I feel nausea rising along with my sobs.

I’m practically wailing at her bed side, scared to look at her. The bile stings the back of my throat and I have no control over it this time. I dash out, over to the bathrooms just opposite the hospital bay. I swiftly open the door, letting it slam behind me as I lunge toward the toilet, sinking to my knees. I grab hold to the side of the porcelain, retching violently, each repetition stinging more than the last. My stomach contracts tightly as I heave, the acidic smell filling my nostrils.

I jump at sudden contact. Someone moves my hair away from my face. I tilt my head to look up, my eyes connecting with Pete. He squats besides me, handing me a plastic cup of water.

“Try taking a sip,” he offers. He reaches behind him, pulling some of the tissue paper from the ream. He scrunches it a little before wiping the side of my mouth.

“Looks like you need this,” he jokes as he passes me the paper. I try to smile, but I can’t even force one out. He looks at me apologetically, wincing a little with unease.

“I knew it wouldn’t be long before you got me on my knees,” he chuckles, his obvious attempt at lightening the mood.

I shiver, close to trembling as I try to push myself up from my kneeling position. I nearly fall back, but Pete catches me, pulling me into his strong arms. He holds me like I’m a dead weight.

I feel my breath rattle in my lungs as I try and look away from this beautiful man’s face. I can’t say that I’ve ever really noticed Pete, but here, being held in his strong hold, I can’t push back the feeling that rises from the pit of my stomach.

The fact that I like it when he holds me, but I know I shouldn’t. I know this is wrong. He strokes the hair away from my face as I try to pull back from him. I look over to see the silhouette of someone in the doorway. As I look up, I’m met by a grimacing Jake, his arms are folded tightly across his chest.

“Nothing going on,” he hisses through his gritted teeth. “You sure about that?” he asks, well more like accuses, as he tilts his head to the side.

“You really are reading too much into this, Jake. Can’t you see she’s in fucking pieces here? Jesus, Jake, have some compassion!” Pete’s voice is raised, anger oozing from his words. I rest my hand on my tear streaked face, stepping back a little from Pete. I’m feeling as awkward as hell.

Jake narrows his eyes, stuffing his hands into his pockets. “Compassion! Pete, are you freaking kidding me? If it wasn’t for her, Abbey wouldn’t be in that hospital bed right now.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Pete rages. “You’re out of line, dude. This isn’t Kennedy’s fault. It’s those sick fuckers that ran you all off the road that are to blame for Abbey being in hospital. This ain’t no blame game, dude. We are all here for Abbey.”

“You have no idea how hard it’s been for me,” he spits out.

“It’s been hard on all of us,” Pete exclaims.

Before anyone else gets chance to speak, we are interrupted by the sound of a cell phone ringing. Pete rushes into his back pocket, pulls out the phone, and answers it. I look over at Jake nervously. His eyes burn into me like lasers. I snap my head away, trying to make out the conversation Pete is having. I adjust my body, trying to get Pete’s attention.

He mouths ‘Cole’ as he continues to talk.

“Yeah, man, we’ll be right there. Yeah, I understand. Bye.”

“What’s wrong?” I rush out.

“We need to get back to the motel. It’s Hope. CPS has come earlier than scheduled and she’s practically hysterical. I could hear her screams through the phone, Ken. She won’t leave until she has seen you.”

I gasp, knowing exactly how Hope must be feeling. Poor thing will be so frightened. I need to get to her and sort this out. I take the tissue and wipe my face, trying to pull myself together. I need to be strong, not for me, but for Hope. I’m the only one she knows she can trust.

“Let me say my goodbyes to Abbey,” I sniffle.

I race back over to her. Standing beside the bed, I stroke her head, planting a lingering soft kiss to her cheek. I hold her hand up to my chest, needing to feel her close to my heart.

“This is not the end, lady.” I lower my head to hers, my voice barely a whisper as I continue, “I need you, Abbey. Don’t you dare leave me.” I swallow down hard. “This is bye for now, not forever, you hear me!” I choke, fighting with everything I have to stop my emotions and control the threatening tears.

I slowly release her hand, placing it beside her before taking small steps backward, away from the bedside. I blow a kiss, waving, as I make my way out of the room, closing the door silently behind me.

I grab the door handle tightly in my hands, standing there, praying that this isn’t the last time I will see her. I look up, through the blur of tears, at Pete who stands in front of me. Jake is just behind him, and despite his animosity, I know he’s being this way because of his feelings for Abbey. I just didn’t realize how strongly he felt for her. I make my way past Pete and over to Jake, wrapping my arms around his waist. He doesn’t move and he doesn’t reciprocate. I know he blames me, but this is my way of thanking him for being by Abbey’s side when I couldn’t.

I step back, unlinking my hands from around him. I try and catch his eyes, saying a silent thank you before walking out of ICU and back down the corridor.

Pete’s hand appears on my lower back. I turn to look at him. He smiles coyly. “We should really get moving, Ken. I’m really worried about her.”

“You really have taken a shine to her, haven’t you?” I search his face, a slow grin spreading across it.

“Nah, not me, Ken. I’m not that guy.”

“Oh, I think you are.”

We arrive back at the motel. I twist, in my haste, struggling to unfasten the seat belt. Pete, sensing my anxiety, reaches down and swiftly unclips the belt. Scarlet heat covers me from head to toe. His hand is against mine, sending shivers over my body. I turn awkwardly to get out of the car as fast as I can. I approach the hotel door; the faint sound of screams becomes louder as I charge through the entrance toward the heart-wrenching cries.

I race into the dining area, my heart beating through my chest. I see Hope curled into a ball, screaming, crying out. I stand on shaky legs, the shock hitting me full force. The room falls silent as all heads turn toward me. With all eyes on me, it’s enough to snap me from my shock like state. I shuffle my feet over, dropping beside Hope. I take her in my arms, pulling her as close as our bodies allow.

“I’m here, gorgeous girl. I’m here,” I soothe, rocking her back and forth instinctively. A sound comes from her frail mouth, but none of what she says makes sense.

“Deep breaths, honey. It’s okay. I’m here. Nothing is going to happen to you. You know that, right?”

I try to comfort her, but she continues to heave, trying to talk between blubbering. I stroke my fingers through the top of her hair, feeling her relax in my arms. I continue to soothe her until her breathing steadies and her body has totally relaxed. She pulls away from me a little. A small lip curling smile with a hint of sadness crosses her face as she anxiously looks from left to right, as though searching in fear for something. Her eyes lock on the two women standing with Jocelyn. I can only presume these are the CPS workers. Hope points a wavering finger toward them.

She leans close to my ear, so I bend down until her lips are practically resting against my lobe. “I don’t like those people. They are trying to take me away from you.”

I shake my head. “No one will ever do that, Hope.”

“But they want me to go with them. I’m scared, Kennedy. I’m scared they’ll take me back to that horrible place.”

“Hey,” I say with authority. She widens her eyes at me in shock. “Do you think I would ever let that happen?”

Her lips turn down as she shakes her head.

“No! Damn straight I won’t ever let that happen.” I point over to where Jocelyn is standing. “When I ran from the commune before, that lady took me in.”

“Cole’s mom?” she questions.

“Yeah that’s right. Cole’s mom. Well she’s one of the nicest ladies you will ever meet. Even if she can’t care for you, she’ll make sure to find someone who can.”

“But, I want to stay with you,” she whispers.

“I know you do, sweetie, but I live with Cole and his parents. I won’t be home to care for you like you need.”