Keeping it Real (7 page)

The girl started a jittery war dance, aiming fake punches with a bit of kickboxing thrown in. In the strobing lamplight, she didn’t seem human; she was just this girl fighting-robot with neon pink hair. Scuffing up ice, she leapt into the air like a girl ninja. FLASH. Her gang’s name jumped off the back of her jacket. SHOCKING PINKS.

I almost cried out. It was Jax!

There was a CRUMP as someone from the rival gang took her on, and was sent sprawling. Screaming like witches, other girls flung themselves into the mayhem. I saw girls viciously gouging other girls’ eyes, long nails raking down cheeks, and Jax was totally pounding some other girl into the ground.

That’s the problem with cosmic energies - you can’t predict which way they’ll go. If you’ve got dense Dark energy and you add pure Light energy to the mix, things generally calm down - on the other hand they can go totally thermonuclear…

Then again, sometimes the PODS just don’t want the hassle.“Don’t look so upset, they’re going,” Brice said in my ear.

Minutes later, both gangs backed down. They called out half-hearted taunts, but that was just to save face.

Jax took off running.

“I want to make sure she’s OK!” I told the others.

“You
know
her?” Earth angels don’t shock easily, but Jools did look surprised.

“She’s my friend,” I told them shakily. “She’s really not like this, I swear.”

“We’ll take you,” said Hendrix immediately.

We didn’t have to drive far. Jax was just going home.

She stumbled past garages and wheelie bins until she reached the block of low-rise flats where she lived with her mum, dad and four brothers. It was one of the old-style blocks - no lifts, just flights of concrete steps on the outside, with a row of scruffy doors going off each landing.

Leaving Hendrix to mind the vehicle, we followed Jax up to the fourth floor. Snow flurries blew in over the balcony as Jax fumbled for her key.

Inside, the hall smelled of fag smoke and old booze.

I’d been to the Jackson’s once before, about six months before I died. Jax had made me wait in the hall while she got her coat. I didn’t know about energies in those days, I only knew that I couldn’t imagine anyone ever laughing in this flat, or bringing someone a bunch of flowers.

It hadn’t improved since then. Behind the closed sitting-room door, Jax’s mum and dad were going on and on at each other, voices raised.

Jax stumbled to her room, fell on to her bed and crashed out, fully clothed. She didn’t look like a girl fighting-robot now. She looked like a sad little kid.

I couldn’t believe the state of my friend’s room: rubbish and dirty clothes everywhere. Worst of all were the vibes. Even her cactus had croaked.

It would take more than one visit to put Jax’s problems right, but we got to work boosting the light levels straightaway. After about ten minutes, you could feel a definite improvement.

Jools whispered, “I think that’s the best we can do for now.”

Jax half-turned on to her front and started snoring. The neon pink of the gang’s name exactly matched the streaks in her hair.

She’d been so proud to be a Shocking Pink. Now she’d ripped off our name and turned it into an ugly battle cry and I didn’t know why.

Tell the truth, Mel
.

The truth is, I was scared to know.

We left Jax’s flat and hurried back downstairs to Hendrix, who was still in the van.

I heard myself say, “I’ll catch up with you guys later. I’ve got one more friend to check on.”

“Want some company?” Brice offered.

I tried to smile. “No, thanks, I need to clear my head.”

“Better take this,” he said gruffly, shrugging off his jacket. “Park Hall is a lot colder than Heaven.”

I set off to the Nolans’ place, keeping my head down against the wind and snow. Brice’s jacket was way too big and, despite Lola’s best efforts, it held a whiff of what we jokingly call his ‘Dark angel’ smell.

Actually I didn’t mind as much as you’d think - maybe because at that moment I felt a bit like a Dark angel myself.

Jools had asked if maybe my friends had just moved on. But when you move on, isn’t that because your friendship doesn’t fit you any longer? Well, that wasn’t Jax and Karmen. They hadn’t just, you know,
changed
. It felt like they were being driven by some scary force and I had a bad feeling it was this exact same force which had torn their friendship apart.

I began to run, half-limping, half-sliding, down the icy street in my borrowed shoes, but I had the terrible sense that I was already too late. Because, if Karms and Jax had both gone off the rails, what in the world was happening to Sky?

Chapter Eight

U
nlike Jax, Sky Nolan never broke any actual laws (that she told us about anyway), but of all the Shocking Pinks she was definitely the most outrageous.

The first time we went out together, we were all saying what we wanted to be. When Sky announced that she intended to be a stand-up comic, no one even blinked. We totally believed she could do it! That’s how charismatic Sky was.

Sky was a fabulously exciting person to have as your friend, but you wouldn’t want to cross her. If you did, Sky would find a way to make you pay. Like that time she got back at Miss Rowntree by painting cooking oil on the blackboard. The next time our teacher picked up a piece of chalk and tried to write, absolutely nothing showed up!

Weeks later we were all at Karmen’s, kidding around on her karaoke machine, when Sky went into hysterics and finally let us in on the joke.

“I can’t believe you just went off and did that all by yourself!” Karmen said amazed.

“Believe it!” Sky said coolly, flicking back her hair. “Sky Nolan is an independent operator!”

She made it sound like she was this romantic free spirit. But it was because Sky basically didn’t trust anyone. Even if she liked you, Sky had to keep you at a safe distance.

At various times, Sky convinced each of us that we were her best friend. It was delicious being Sky’s best friend. She’d plan little treats for you, lend you her coolest clothes and tell you incredibly intimate things about her personal life. Then one day you’d wake up to find you’d been mysteriously put on hold and it was someone else’s turn.

All the Pinks got burned in this way, yet always when our turn came round to be Sky’s favourite yet again, we all kidded ourselves that this time would be different.

I’m making it sound like she wasn’t a very nice person - and maybe she wasn’t - but she was truly loveable.

She also had really bad problems at home.

I don’t know if I mentioned Sky’s mum wasn’t too stable? One morning Sky came to school and she couldn’t stop smiling.

“My mum was in such a great mood last night,” she bubbled. “She made us a totally massive stack of pancakes. Of course, Olly insists he’s big enough to toss his own pancake, doesn’t he, and now it’s permanently stuck to the kitchen ceiling!”

In those days Sky still hoped that one of her mum’s good times would eventually stick for good, like Olly’s pancake. Then, after years of being a deeply depressed single mum, Mrs Nolan got a boyfriend.

For a time everything seemed rosy. Sky’s mum was happy. Sky’s little brothers totally worshipped Dan and Sky adored him.

Then, late one night, Sky called me on my mobile, to tell me her mum had locked her out. There’d been thunderstorms all day and Sky was terrified of storms; she sounded hysterical.

I fetched my step-dad, who threw on some clothes and drove off to pick her up. She looked half-drowned when he brought her back, rainwater dripping off her nose, hair in sodden rats’ tails. Her mum hadn’t even let her take her shoes.

Mum ran her a hot bath while I made up the sofa bed and dug out a clean T-shirt for Sky to sleep in. An hour later, I was still trying, not very successfully, to get back to sleep, when I heard her creep into my room.

I silently moved over to let her climb in. I could feel tiny tremors going through her, like she was getting flu. I tentatively touched her and Sky sobbed out, “I just wish I’d never been born.”

I stroked her back while she cried and eventually she felt able to choke out what had happened. She and her mum had had a big fight about her mum’s boyfriend.

“You said you liked Dan,” I objected. “You said your mum has been so much happier since she’s been seeing him.”

“She
is
,” Sky wept. “But now I’m just in the way.”

“Shut up! Of course you’re not.”

“I am! Before Dan came along, I was Mum’s lifeline. You don’t know how much she relied on me. I even had to remind her to take her pills. If she was having a bad day, I’d cook for my little brothers—”

“And you were a total superstar!” I interrupted fiercely. “But you’re twelve, Sky. You deserve a break. Let Danny Boy take care of her now.”

Sky sat up, taking most of my quilt. Her nostrils had that pinched look they got when she was really upset. “It’s not just that Mum doesn’t
need
me. She doesn’t even
like
me.”

“Sky—”

“It’s
true
! I remind her of all her worst times. She acts like I’m totally not there! I was just trying to make her notice me again,” she choked. “But I went a bit too far.”

She suddenly clutched at my hand. “She screamed in my face, Melanie - she said not to ever bother coming back.”

My friend collapsed on to the bed, taking all the quilt this time, and sobbed out: “I felt like there was nobody in the world who cared, Mel. I mean, my dad walks out and now my own mother hates me! What’s wrong with this picture? It has to be me.”

Maybe I was just being swept along with Sky’s emotions, but I felt scared for her. I was genuinely afraid she’d do something stupid.

It’s hard to be super-positive when you’re a tired twelve year old whose teeth are chattering because your friend’s got all the quilt. But I started desperately babbling whatever came into my head; telling my friend how amazingly special she was, how she was the girl all the girls in our class secretly wanted to be.

“You’ve got your whole life ahead of you, Sky,” I shivered. “Plus you’ve got all the Pinks b-backing you up…”

I suddenly realised she’d stopped crying.

Sky groped for my hand. “You missed out the most important thing,” she said, hiccupping, “which is you. You’re the most wonderful friend I ever had, Melanie, and you’ll never leave me, will you?”

I was only twelve. No one expects to die, do they, when they’re twelve? Plus Sky had just said I was her best mate and I wanted it to be true. So I said something no human should ever say. “Of course I won’t leave you, stupid,” I whispered.

I only wanted Sky to feel safe so she could go to sleep. And it worked. She snuggled down under the quilt, still clutching my hand and, worn-out from crying, she finally drifted off…

Of course I won’t leave you, stupid
…

I could hear my well-meaning words ringing round my head as I half-skated around the icy turning into Sky’s street.

In London, there’s one hour at night when all the traffic stops and even the city drunks go totally quiet. Just then it was so quiet, the only sound I could hear was my own heart hammering in my ears.

Sky’s flat was at the end of a terrace of shabby old-fashioned houses. I picked my way down steps slippery with ice and shimmered in through the front door into the Nolans’ basement flat.

I wished Brice had given me his scarf as well. It was colder inside the Nolans’ place than it was out in the street.

The heating’s off
, I told myself.
It’s the middle of the night, that’s why it’s so cold.

The flat was absolutely silent. When the fridge switched itself back on with a sudden judder, I jumped with fright.

Angels can tell a lot from the vibes which collect in human homes. Karmen’s home had a super-intense family vibe. Walking into the Jackson’s flat felt like walking into some dreary war zone.

Sky’s home was an icy blank. I started along the hall, checking in all the rooms, one by one. Kitchen empty. Sitting room empty.

The blind was up in Mrs Nolan’s room. Stark-white streetlight flooded in, showing an empty double bed made up with a pristine white quilt. Instead of a depressing clutter of pill bottles, the bedside table had a cute photo of Sky’s mum with Dan and two smiling little boys.

The little boys’ room was empty too.

They’d obviously all gone to Dan’s for the weekend, but I felt I should just check in Sky’s room, as I was here.

The Nolan’s hall was like an L-shape. Sky’s room was around the bend. Her door had been left closed. A handwritten sign said KEEP OUT BRATS OR DIE!!

I shimmered through to the other side and yelled with shock.

My mate was in here all by herself!

She was all huddled up on her bed in an old dressing gown, listening to music through some earphones. She’d got woolly bed socks on, pulled right up to her knees, but she still looked blue with cold. I thought she looked too thin.

Even if I’d been human I don’t think I’d have tried to touch her. It was like she wasn’t really here - like she was just on hold, somehow, waiting. Even Sky’s room literally felt like a waiting room. Her pop posters and girly bric-a-brac, precious mementoes of the Pinks, heart-shaped cushions and mad photo booth pics - had all gone, leaving cold empty space.