Authors: Justina Robson
his tone that he longed to believe
.
She watched their prisoner lick his lips again - was he doing something
magical to add weight to his words? She couldn't feel it on herself, but perhaps it wasn't directed at her.
'Everyone kept their colours hidden until the last days,' the fair elf insisted, ignoring Lila as he moved
past
her to come easily within
andalune
range of Dar. 'We all had to. You know that is the way it
has
always been. Nobody can be trusted when the stakes are so high for individual and caste alike. It is the
way things have been since the demon wars. Sila and Elyn lie dead and consumed behind me. Not
because I did not
love them, but
because we are in a war for the future
of the realm, and they would not
take my side, nor I theirs, though they did not
know it
until now.'
'You were freaking out,' Lila reminded him, determined to push a wedge into whatever charm he was
managing to exert on Dar. 'If you had power, you didn't use much of it.'
He glared at her with a loathing that almost made her step back with its force. 'Have I not said? They
were my friends
.
Silalio was at one time the woman of my heart. You saw what I did. Perhaps you could
have done it with more courage than I and slain them yourself?'
Dar glanced at Lila, looking for confirmation. She shrugged, deeply concerned now by the scale of his
doubts and the way that
seeing this shook her own conviction. There was a moment when they looked at
one another and she felt
that
all the trust
they had ever shared was slowly beginning to crack. In a moment
it would break apart, pressed down on the block of uncertainties by the considerable exertion of
willpower emanating from their captive. She switched to aetheric sight, wanting to touch Dar's aetheric
body for some reassurance or at
least
know his state, but
instead she saw the
andalune
of the
necromancer reach towards Dar's and touch it
briefly
.
Dar jolted as if he had received an electric shock
and his face contorted with anguish which was suddenly mastered
.
His face became smooth and hard.
'This is why you must never let him talk,' Dar said finally and with a speed that
Lila could not
block he
spun around. There was a knife in his hand and it buried itself up to the hilt in the blond elf's chest.
Shock and pleading crossed the other's handsome face as Dar let go. The vivid light in his
grass-coloured eyes went out. His body hit the ground with a dull, soft thump, his bound arms preventing
it rolling onto his back.
Lila turned to Dar, sick in gut and heart, and he screamed into her face, a sound of shrieking, intense
agony that wasn't even a word. He silenced her shock and doubled it in the same instant
.
She was
paralysed with the sudden turn of events, could hardly believe them.
'What did you think this was? Some game?' he cried hoarsely at her, though she felt that he was saying
it as much to himself as to her.
'Was he lying?' she yelled back, frightened and momentarily out of control with the sight of Dar's own
loss of it though at
least
this broke her free and let her start acting again.
T don't know! I don't know!' He stared down at the body and abruptly bent
down to pull the knife out
of its chest. It wouldn't come
and he had to wrench it free over several tries. As soon as it was out he dropped the blade as if it
was
on fire and buried his face in his hands.
All sense of adventure and pleasure that
she had felt
earlier in the day was gone now. She felt
a fool for
even having lost her con-centration that long. Lila bent down and picked the elf's corpse up. It
was a little
lighter than Zal, a little heavier than Dar. Its golden hair hung free and brushed her legs softly as though it
didn't
realise its change of state. 'Sorry,' she said quietly, pushing her emotions aside, like she had to
when she thought of home. She would never get
used to this, she thought, never do anything but hate
what she did in those moments where the job had to come first.
She glanced at Dar, wanting him to see that she shared the burden of it. After a second's thought she
said quietly, 'They don't go easily into that
good night. I guess elf necromancers are no different
to
demons or faeries or humans in that
respect.'
'No,' Dar said. 'And he will be no easier to deal with if he comes back from Thanatopia, though that
will change him in ways we cannot know.' He took a deep breath. 'We are not thinking. He is the same
size as you are. We should use his clothes and weapons to make you less obvious here, though at close
range your metal structure will always give you away to us.'
They worked together to strip him down. Lila said, 'It
feels very wrong. All these are his own things.'
She found vellum in the inner pockets and handed it
to Dar. She found a sprig of heather, old and
flattened. She found a piece of Otopian silk crepe de Chine, patterned with beautiful Chinese dragons.
All its edges were neatly hemmed by a tidy hand - a loving hand? Each item deepened the discomfort
and hurt she felt for the dead elf, enemy or not. They left
him his under-garments, more delicate and
well-fashioned than even the most expensive treat Lila had ever gotten herself from Agent Provocateur.
Blood had ruined them.
Lila folded his arms across his chest. She glanced unwillingly into his face and saw that his eyes were
still open a fraction, as green as Poppy's hair. He was very handsome, and his face had the same kind of
shapes and angulation as Zal's. They might have been brothers
.
She missed Zal suddenly. He wouldn't be
dead. Maybe he was in a worse state.
Without thinking about
it
she bent
down to brush the corpse's eyes closed and found herself kissing the
smooth, ivory forehead. A zinging
tickle ran across her face and a warm, vibrant
sensation like a tiny and concentrated swarm of honey
bees darted down her throat and lodged in her chest She leapt
back, but
it
was too late
.
Dar stared at
her, aghast, as she clapped a hand over her mouth. 'What
did you do?' he asked, his
voice faint. 'What
have you done?'
Lila's Al-self did not
recognise the situation, running diagnostics and finding nothing, but Lila's
much-abused human heart knew the truth immediately
.
It was as obvious as a clear green day
.
'His
andalune,'
she said, staring at Dar and wishing it was not so, unable to believe it. 'In my chest. In my -
heart - that
chi
thing there, whatever it is.' She could hear the dead elf laughing at
her, but
from the inside,
where her laughter came from, only she wasn't
laughing at
all.
She grabbed hold of Dar's jerkin and pulled him so close and so hard that she lifted him off his feet,
'Get it the hell out of me! Right now!'
Dar's blue eyes stared into hers, appalled and afraid. He didn't even try to make her let him go, 'It is
beyond me.'
The honeybees chuckled in tones of grass and leaf and swirled in upon themselves, to a concentrated
mote of unhappy triumph. After a second or two Lila released Dar and conducted another, much more
intensive, survey. X-rays and ultrasound, she remembered, and put her hand to her chest, emitting first
one and then another. The bees' response was immediate and furious.
Ou
t
,
she instructed,
or I'll irradia
t
e you
t
o no
t
hing. I mean i
t
.
T
hen you
w
ill kill m
e t
wice,
said the blond elf's voice, as clear as a bell inside her mind.
I canno
t
live
ou
t
side you. So
if you are going
t
o ex
t
ermina
t
e m
e,
do
i
t
quickly..
'He's talking to me!' Lila repeated what had been said, filled with revulsion and wonder in equal parts.
'What
should I do?'
Dar groaned and his grief turned to anger. 'He was ever trickier than even Zal, this one. Long he was
beloved of me, before these days became so short
and the light
of Sathanor so dim inside him. I thought
it
was too easy to take his life with a simple blade. I should bear the diverse pleasures of his possession,
if any should at all. He had a sweet and passionate nature once, but ruled by a cold mind which grew to
perfect ice after his mastery of the dark arts. Such a combination is quite deadly when combined with the
tasks of a Jayon agent. He agreed to it of his own will, for the service of Alfheim and to demonstrate the
depth of his loyalty to the Lady.'
During this speech Lila handed over mostly to her Al-self, keeping
just
enough of her feelings going to keep her sharp. She rerouted her . panic and decided to roll
with things. So, she was possessed, how bad could it be?
'Necromancy isn't evil,' Lila said, attempting to soothe Dar, longing to believe it
herself, still
shocked at the strange but not uncomfortable burning and thrumming she felt inside. Her Al-self
didn't even recog-nise the presence of anything untoward. She wasn't exactly being harmed. Her
words came from a book her AI had read. 'It's only very very stupidly dangerous.'
'It is the most difficult road and an invitation to wake the evil within, . because its powers are very
great,' Dar said. 'And for that alone I would never have seen him touch it. As for what this means for
you and us and for him, I have never come across it before and know not.'
'Me neither,' Lila said. She felt so isolated and scared that she wanted Dar to hold her
suddenly, but could not and dare not ask it.
T
ell gen
t
le Dar he was always
t
oo sen
t
imen
t
al for
t
his work,
the spirit said, the voice's sudden appearance in her mind jolting her with fresh shock. But her Al-self was processing at top
speed and it kept on finding peculiar advantages in each new discovery, ones which Lila didn't
personally like at all, though she saw their sense. Even if her inhabitant was a liar, he was
potentially extremely useful
.
Lila said aloud to Dar, 'He doesn't blame you for what you did
.
He thinks it was the only smart
thing to do.' She felt the bees vibrate crossly and added to them,
Can i
t
.
It
roiled with anger but
said nothing.
'Do you say that
or does he?'
Name,
Lila demanded coldly of the
andalune
in her chest,
or nuke.
I am
T
a
t
h.
'Tath says it,' Lila said quietly. She let
her hand fall to her side, removing the threat
as she
realised the extent of the aetheric elf's dependency on her.
'Tath. He keeps his true name from you and gives you his use-name only,' Dar observed
wearily, his hands still full of Tath's clothing.
'You must know it,' Lila said. "The real one, I mean.'
'I do. It is not something I would use lightly, but use it I will to defend you if he tries to command
you against your will. Do not give yours to him either. It
may not have the same effect
on you as it
would an elf, but he will use it against you if he can.'
Tath had curled up into a still and silent emerald jewel inside her heart. With great misgiving Lila
realised that as long as he was present
there she would never know how much he was able to spy on her. Perhaps it
had been a lucky break for
him, when Dar's nerve held. She might
never know peace again.
Lila was not
sure of the extent of true naming's power in Alfheim, only that it had a greater power in
this realm than any of the other magical realms, and none at all in Otopia, unless you were an elf. 'One
minute you love him, the next you talk about him like he's born evil,' she said.
'I do not know what Tath's real nature is, any more than I know yours, and in any case, affection is
rarely ruled by such distinctions,' Dar said with guarded weariness. He handed the clothing to her. 'Here.
You have run around in your underwear long enough.'
"This isn't
really underwear,' Lila said defensively, alert for any reaction from her new passenger,
finding none. 'This is army issue vest
and pants. For work. Under all the heavy gear. It's not like my
personal smalls.'
T feel better for knowing that.' Dar watched her, and she thought
he was finding it
more than amusing.
As she dressed she was continually aware of the new feeling of carrying Tath. Her heart felt stronger,
lighter, brighter, with its new resident bees and their greenish gold finery. She was on her guard for more