Keeping Jahleel (Loving All Wrong #1.5) (3 page)

“Uh, I dunno. Maybe ‘cause the last time you two were together you landed up in a fuckin’ hospital bed?! And now an innocent man is servin’ ten years for your selfishness and stupidity?”

This time there was emotion in his voice. Hurt. Pain.

It had never occurred to me that he might still be affected by what happened. He never got over it. He probably felt like he failed me somehow by always being approving of my nonsensical behaviors. But still, that didn’t give him the right to try and force us apart. He orchestrated this. Leaked news about our arrival time at SFO so fans would come out. To intimidate Jahleel.

This had me cheesed-off. “That happened because we
weren’t
together!”

“You two are a disaster waitin’ to happen. He’s a fuckin’ volatile asshole and you’re a—”

“Shut up, Lion!” Jahleel barked suddenly. “Just shut the fuck up!”

Interlacing his fingers with mine again, Jahleel leaned over and kissed me hard, deep and assuring, before breaking to tell Lion, “Yeah, we’re not breakin’ up. Find another way to deal with our shit,
manager
. As for the paparazzi and annoying fans…just gimme some time to acclimatize.”

Lion’s grin wrapped around his face like a brilliant white scarf. “Perfect answer. ‘Cause I’ve got a mighty long list of proposals for
you
, son. More than for Saskia. You were hot stuff since that show, but now you’re”—he made an explosive gesture with his hands—”
boom
! So fuckin’ famous you can bake your shit and sell it on Ebay for a mil a slice.”

Jahleel actually rolled his eyes. None of this would ever impress him. He was a dancer, and that’s all he wanted to be.

“So, hold on,” I said, realizing what just happened. “This was a
test
?”

“‘Course it was. I’m not a dick,” Lion responded, giving me a look that said “
I can’t believe you think I’d do that to you
.” “Your lover boy past with flyin’ colors.”

Looking as though he wanted to punch a hole right through the ceiling, Jahleel warned, “Pull anything like that again and I’ll pound your face in.”

“Sorry, son,” Lion apologized. “But what you both don’t realize yet is that you’re the hottest couple right now. Don’t know why, but people are inexplicably crazy about JK and Saskia bein’ engaged. And since I’m both you guy’s manager, it’s my duty to make sure you in it for the long haul, no matter what.

“Things can be a little crazy when your relationship’s in the limelight. So I’m lettin’ you know that sometimes, I’m gonna stop being your friend and be your manager just to make sure we’re on the same page. Believe it or not, I’m nervous as hell that you’re together again. Never know what’s gonna happen with you two idiots, so in love with each other you keep makin’ the world’s dumbest fuckups. Love isn’t that fuckin’ hard. Seriously.”

Laughing out, Jahleel turned on the seat and fell on his back, looking a lot less agitated and more relaxed. He tugged our interlaced fingers, pulling me down on top of him, and I giggled as I collided into his chest with an “
oomph
.”

Sitting right across from us in the limo, Lion watched with a dubious expression.

“You just worry about your part as our manager,” Jahleel directed at Lion as he brushed stray curls from my face. “Me and Sassy, we’re good. Fanfuckingtastic, as a matter of fact. There’s no ending. Only beginnings.”

As Jahleel palmed the back of my neck and pulled my face in to kiss me, I didn’t miss Lion mumbling under his breath, “Wish I could believe that.”

“J
esus Christ, here too?”

We pulled up outside my residence, and yep, fans were waiting for us there, too.

For the two years I’ve lived in SF, fans have never once came outside my home. Ever. What on earth was so damn fascinating about Jahleel and me together?

“Should be glad this ain’t LA,” Lion murmured, messing around on his phone.

The driver rolled through the gates and braked in front of my house. Lion got out, then me behind him, but Jahleel didn’t follow. I stuck my head back in the limo to find him scrubbing his hands down his face.

“You’re not coming in?” I asked.

Dropping his hands, he looked up at me, blank for a moment, then, “Ah, why don’t you come by me later? I’m crashed. And I’ve got a ton of stuff to take care of.”

He’s running already
. “You can’t—”

“Sassy—”

“Okay, then. Bye.” I slammed the door.

The vehicle drove off as I stomped up the steps to my house. Was I supposed to keep hoping, or give up instead of waiting for him to inevitably break my frigging heart? One minute he was striking the match to light the goddamn hope candle, and in the next we were in bloody dark.

One moment he was saying he’ll stay no matter what, and in the next minute it seemed as though he was trying to get as far away from me as possible.

Lion stood in my doorway, blocking me. “Where’s he going?”

“Home,” I muttered, my lips protruding into a sulky pout.

When I made to move past him, he grabbed my arm. “Look, you went through all this trouble to get him, you better step it up and make sure you fuckin’ keep him. Because JK
is
a hard one to keep. Lemme shine some light for you: JK has only ever had one dream, and that’s to have his own establishment, choreographing the big names and doin’ what he does best. He’s already livin’ that dream better than he could’ve imagined. Landin’ that job with Dancin’ 2da Beat was just a bonus.

“You got no idea how many muti-million dollar contracts he turned down since that show. This”—he waved a hand to indicate the fans outside my gate—”is not his scene. Viewers’ reactions to him on that dance show took him by surprise and he’s been wantin’ out of doin’ the upcomin’ season ever since. But ain’t no way in hell they’re lettin’ him go. He’s too good an asset. They had to alter the contract with more palatable perks to make him stay. So if he’s tryin’ to cope with
this
, it’s ‘cause he
really
loves you. You see me bein’ hard on him, it’s for
your
benefit, ‘cause I know JK a lot better than you do. Play your part in this and play it well, or you’ll lose him.”

“Then why bother asking me to marry him when he knew what my life is like?”

Lion shook his head at me as if I wasn’t getting it. “Kia, JK’s been in love with you before you were this person, when you were no one. You ever think maybe he’s still in love with
that
person and not
this
person? Maybe when he sees you, he sees you without the wealth and the fame, seeing just
you
. And those things are just a harsh reminder after he snaps out of his haze.”

I slumped on the door post. “I’m so bloody helpless, Lion. I’m so in love with him that I’m perpetually self-conscious around him, afraid I’ll say or do something that’ll push him away. I don’t know what to do.”

“Keep him, that’s what you’re supposed to do. He already loves you, so it shouldn’t be that hard.” Then he got out of my way and started down the steps. “I’ve got more business with him than with you so I’m headin’ over to his place. John, I need a ride!”

Sighing, I entered the house and closed the door. It was eerily quiet despite the racket outside my gate.

Alina came skipping down the stairs towards me, green face scrub plastered on, all pink and perky as usual. “Saskia, you’re home!” she chirped.

Considering the fact that she’d been a bit standoffish since my engagement to Jahleel, she seemed suspiciously chipper.

Alina was Chad’s little cousin. Chad, Jahleel’s best friend who I’d dated for a couple of months, who, promptly after flying all the way to Australia to break up with me, had asked me to babysit her for a while. Before the break up, Alina had confided in me and told me of her biggest crush, who turned out to be Jahleel. And I hadn’t bothered to tell her of mine and Jahleel’s history. So when she heard of our engagement, naturally, she felt betrayed.

“Yep, home.”

“JK with you?” she asked with what sounded like nervousness as I continued my sulky trod through the house.

“I’m gonna pretend you didn’t just ask me that, yeah?” I headed for the stairs. “Where’s everyone, by the way?”

“Amanda left with Zane a couple of hours ago and Ferbie’s traveling with Sade.”

“And Timber?”

She frowned at me under that thick goo of face scrub. “Timber left the minute she flew back from the funeral.”

My heart sank. She was gone again, and I never got the chance to spend any time with her. I had a sister who, in spite of her parrot-ism, I loved dearly. And since I’d allowed her to put college on hold to go travel the world, I barely ever saw her. Each year she found an excuse to extend her travelling. But I never stopped her, because education-wise, I wasn’t worried about her. Timber was a nerd with photographic memory and could pass those college exams with her eyes closed. But family-wise, I missed her. A lot. She’d flown back here the day after Jahleel proposed, apologizing for being out of reach…and late. But we’d all been in such a state over Lydia’s rapid deterioration that we never got the time to embrace properly. Now she was gone again and I had no idea when I would see her.

And Ferbie, Sade had stolen him away from me completely. They traveled often, seeing as Sade was an A-lister who lived to
live
. To enjoy life to the best of her ability. Plus when they weren’t travelling, Ferbie was almost always at her place. With Timber and Ferbie off living their own life, I now had no family around me. Just me. As Zane was slowly stealing Amanda, too.

Might as well hold on tight to Alina. Because I needed a new family.

I could feel Alina’s eyes watching me as I mounted the steps. She was waiting for something…

“It’s Sylvie’s off day. John and Ben came as extra securities to get us at the airport. Which means you were left here alone…” I summed up. Midway up the stairs, I turned to look at her. She still stood at the foot of the stairs with her hands behind her back, wearing that chipper grin, trying to buy me. “Who’s in your room?”

Her mouth opened and closed, smile fading. “There’s no—”

“Don’t lie to me, Alina.”

“It’s not a boy, okay?” she said quickly, holding up her hands in defense. “It Kaydeen.”

“Who the bloody hell is Kaydeen?”

“Your next door neighbor’s daughter?”

“Do I look like someone who knows their neighbors?”

Alina had never been the one to go against rules, so this was surprising. Unless she was purposely being defiant to spite me over this Jahleel crush crap.

“Really?” she squealed incredulously. “Your neighbor is retired rock star Dave Baltimore!”

Really?
“Really?”

Dave Baltimore was a big,
big
deal once, right up there with Johnny Cash.

“Yes, really!” she exclaimed. “He lives next door with his wife and two kids Kaydeen and Davian. Kaydeen is my age. And Davian is lead singer of his garage band, Ice Steam, and he’s, like,
oh
-my-god-HOT and—”

“Does your Kaydeen friend have a crush on JK, too?” I cut her off, not in the mood for this. Not when I was at a lost at how to keep the man I loved.

“No. Actually, she has a crush on
Ferbie
and wants me to—”

“Well, she can stay then. I’m gonna nab a kip.”

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” she shrieked behind me as I resumed my journey up the stairs.

The jet-lag was starting to seep in as I trekked to my bedroom and collapsed on the bed.

Jahleel
.

As I whispered his name in my thoughts, I automatically fingered my engagement ring. This ring was the only thing giving me hope right now. Being engaged was supposed to make me feel different, more secure and worry less. Except, it didn’t. I was more terrified than ever. This ring meant more to me than anything I’d ever owned. Now I had to make sure it remained on my goddamn finger.

The problem was…trust. Trust played a huge role in this. Trust planted the doubts there.

But I needed to stop doubting and believe that we would last, that we would make it to the very end, and that Jahleel loved me enough to get past all the things that made him uncomfortable. He said he needed time to deal with it. I could give him time. Sure. But not too much time.