Kelly Hill (5 page)

She took a moment to relax before joining him and she asked herself one simple question, ‘
What in the world was she going to do about Kelly?’

He waited for her to walk down the driveway to her car before sauntering after her, his hands in his pockets, a pair of sunglasses magically produced from some hidden pocket that she hadn’t noticed.

When they were both buckled in he finally answered her question... sort of.

“
I sure didn’t think you’d be this pretty still,” He was looking to his right, out of the car, avoiding eye contact.

Rachel checked her rear view mirror and moved the car into reverse, thinking about what he said and trying desperately hard not to jump to any sort of conclusions.

“Oh?” Was all she managed to get out as she pulled onto the quiet street in front of her house, trying to come up with a different line.

But Rachel had never been very good at awkward conversations and so she let the two lettered word fall flat between them, expecting Kelly to pick it up.

“I mean, the last time I saw you, you didn’t look nearly as put together as you do now.” Kelly didn’t miss a beat.

Rachel refused to take her eyes off of the road. Her brain replayed the sentence in her mind and she thought of all the different things it could have meant.

“I was hoping you had forgotten me.” Rachel was honest with him finally. Rachel gave him a sideways look, hoping he wouldn’t notice her eyeing him.

Kelly’s reply was simple and terrifying, “I don’t think I could ever forget someone like you.”

Chapter Three

Phillips Academy

Charleston, West Virginia

August 12th, 2008

Rachel

Rachel had never had a roommate before. She had always managed to land a single, but this year she wanted to try something new, just to be slightly adventurous. Now, sitting there at her writing desk, waiting for her roommate to arrive the day before classes were scheduled to start, she was rethinking her ‘adventure’.

What if Rachel didn’t like this Melody Jeffords? What if she had poor hygiene and only cared about what type of alcohol the townies could supply her? What if she liked sequins? Rachel shuddered. There could a number of things wrong with Melody if she let her imagination run wild, best to keep it pinned down and only worry about the absolutes.

The absolutes, as they were in the order of how Rachel found out, were her name was Melody Jeffords. And although she had spent a lot of time in Charleston, she had never attended Phillips Academy, but rather spent most of her education abroad with her family. She was very active in track and was marginally decent at women’s lacrosse.

Her mother had requested a tutor for the political science class Melody would be taking in the fall, and Headmistress Grear thought since Rachel had taken the course a year earlier and received a 127 percent completion she was perfect for the job. Rachel was more than gracious to accept the job with the promise that it would work as a credit in her favor. Never mind the fact that Rachel detested poor work ethic and she believed that if you required outside help, you had no business in the class whatsoever.

Melody had also had her things sent in the day before by professional movers who seemed to want to touch everything.

And as Rachel stood there, more than partially horrified, they placed box after box on her bed to make way for Melody’s custom dresser and bed set, making their small room all the more cramped.

It went without saying that after everything was done, Rachel immediately took her duvet and sheets across town to get dry cleaned.

Now, on that Sunday morning where most students were spending the last day of summer soaking up all the sun they could, Rachel sat at her desk, wondering when she would ever get to meet this Melody Jeffords. Did they have anything in common at all?

“
No, mom, I’ve got it.” Rachel’s ears perked up at the sound of two people standing outside the door, trying to unlock it, even though Rachel had left it thus.

She heard the lock turn over and someone tried the knob. “Well isn’t that just the strangest thing.”

Rachel shifted her body to look at the door as they tried it again, this time successfully unlocking it and opening it.

“
Well that looks nice.” A matronly figure pushed greying blond hair out her face, looking at the matching bed and dresser set. “I was worried it was going to be too big.”

“
It looks fine, mom.” The girl next to her said, brushing past her mom and placing a small suitcase on her bed. She was wearing tan straight leg ankle pants and a silk white blouse with matching white flats. Her blond hair, a box blond if Rachel had ever seen one, was pulled into a loose ponytail at the base of her neck and her amber eyes were twinkling with mischief.

They both had yet to notice Rachel and Rachel wasn’t sure what to do. Should she introduce herself? Or had she missed her mark? Would it just look awkward and out of place? This was why she didn’t have roommates.

“Oh!” Melody’s mom was the first one to see there was a third occupant in the room. She looked shocked and perturbed all at the same time. Had she thought Melody was getting a single?

Melody shot her mom a look and then warmed her face to Rachel’s with a friendly smile, “Hi. I’m Melody, you must be Rachel.” She stepped forward, her hand extended.

Rachel returned the smile and stood, “Yeah, it’s nice to finally meet you.” She shook hands with Melody and had to admit, the girl wasn’t that unappealing. She seemed decent enough, was well dressed and it didn’t look as if the large bed was her idea either.

“
I was so worried that I would be stuck with a weirdo.” Melody made a face, “You know, since I applied so late.”

“
I told you that you had plenty of time, dear.” Melody’s mom rolled her eyes, then addressing Rachel, “She always worries.”

Rachel could relate but she wanted to move on from the introductory phase, “Have you gotten your class schedule yet?”

Melody smirked and held up a white folder, “Got it this morning. Then spent two hours with the Headmistress while she went over the rules.”

“
It’s not her fault you’ve been unable to follow simple ones this far, remember, that’s why you’re here after all.” Melody’s mom admonished. “She was only trying to be helpful.”

Melody rolled her eyes again, “I learned my lesson, mom. Let’s just drop it.”

Melody’s mom sighed and looked at Rachel, “You’re gonna need to look after this one.”

Rachel was suspicious of the small skirmish that had just taken place in front of her but decided not to ask any questions. Each family had their own dynamic, hers included, and it wasn’t her place to interject an opinion.

“Don’t worry.” Rachel forced a smile, “She’s in great hands.”

“
Yeah, see mom, Rachel says I’ll be fine.” Melody was moving towards her closet now, looking for something.

That wasn’t exactly what Rachel had said, but if that’s how she wanted to take it then Rachel wouldn’t argue. She was still trying to figure out how she was going to get out this mess. Signing up for a roommate had been one of the worst ideas she had ever had.

Her phone chirped with the signal of a text being received and Rachel glanced down at the lit screen, it was from Jefferson. She bit her lip and fought the urge to pick it up and read it immediately. She still had Melody and her mother to deal with.

“
Well, it looks like I should get going.” Melody’s mom started to move towards the door and Melody looked away from the boxes stacked in the closet.

“
You’re leaving already?” Melody was frowning, a sad frown, as if she didn’t want her to leave yet, even though they had been bickering just moments before.

“
Yeah, honey, I’ve got a plan to catch and I still want to stop by the Prescotts’ to say hi.” She responded, her hand now on the door knob to the small room.

“
Well, I love you then.” Melody hugged her mom, “Have a safe trip.”

Melody’s mom smiled but she was holding back tears, “Have fun, darling, don’t get into too much trouble.”

To give them space, Rachel had picked up her phone and was texting Jefferson back.

He had asked how the roommate meeting had gone and Rachel wasn’t sure how to respond, she was still on the fence about Melody. As she listened to the goodbyes Rachel formed the sentence, ‘Melody Jeffords, have you met her?’

As the door closed and Melody sat down on her bed opposite Rachel’s Rachel hit the send button, completely unaware of what was going through Jefferson’s head.

   
Agoura Hills, California

June 6th 2010

Rachel

Rachel waited in her car impatiently patient. Agonizing over the time being wasted, but not letting it show on her face.

Ethan needed a ride to an auto parts store, apparently something in the van had finally fallen out and they couldn’t get around under their own power anymore. Leaving their only source of transportation as Rachel. A very reluctant and bedraggled Rachel.

It had been a whole week since she had spent the entire day with Kelly and she had resituated her plans for the summer to avoid him at all costs.

They hadn’t talked about Jefferson and she was glad for it. Instead they had pretended like everything was normal between the two of them. Like everything was alright.

Although, over the past few days he had become rather standoffish, giving Rachel her space, Rachel still knew that the conversation was coming. It had to have been. Those two people couldn’t be in the same room and ignore what had happened. That’s not how life worked, that’s why she left Phillips in the first place.

But Kelly had settled into the basement with Logan and Ethan and only resurfaced when they did, which was rarely, if ever, leaving Rachel to consider all the possible times  he could bring up Jefferson.

Rachel had been working on a new project she had been thinking about for quite a while when Ethan knocked on her bedroom door.

She let up the pedal on the sewing machine and got up with a sigh. She was really hoping to cover more ground on the 1920s inspired dress she had patterned out.

Opening the door slightly, she looked out into the hallway. Only Ethan’s and Logan’s faces greeted her.

“Yes?” Rachel asked, looking as pleasant as she possibly could.

“
Someone, I’m not gonna say who, kicked my muffler a while back and now we’ve gotta get a new one,” Ethan stated flatly.

Rachel raised an eyebrow, she had a sneaking suspicion that it had indeed been he that did in the previous muffler, but decided not to press the issue.

“Well, I’m fresh out.” She responded back, just as flat.

Ethan rolled his eyes, “Can we get a ride?”

Rachel felt her shoulders fall, but she forced a smile anyways, “Of course.”

Ethan beamed, completely oblivious to her discontent. “Thanks, Rach. We’ll meet you in the bomber.”

The bomber was what Ethan had taken to calling Rachel’s car ever since he had arrived. He ignored the name she had given it, or her protests that she didn’t think ‘The Bomber’ was a suitable nickname for Jamie. She had always pictured him as a very mild-mannered vehicle.

Ten minutes later all four of them were packed into her car as she was pulling out of the driveway, hoping this excursion wouldn’t take too much time from her day.

Kelly was sitting in the backseat, withdrawn, sunglasses over his eyes, looking at the side of the car, staying as silent as the grave. Rachel hoped that he would stay that way.

Ethan was blabbering on about how he had never really liked the neighborhood Rachel had grown up in. How it wasn’t as cultured as his own back home. How he couldn’t understand why anyone would want to live there.

Rachel wanted to remind him that he grew up in the suburbs as well but she bit her tongue, it would do her no good to argue with him.

Like arguing with a wall is what her dad used to say. Couldn’t get anything through to that boy. Had his own idea about truth and didn’t want to hear anything to the contrary.

“So Rachel,” Logan leaned forward so his head was resting on the back of Rachel’s seat, “What do you do for fun around here?”

“
There’s a cinema a couple blocks away.” Rachel answered mechanically, she had never been, but she knew other kids her age always enjoyed it. She was much more interested in other things than going into a theatre and buying over priced tickets, along with overpriced stale popcorn just to sit around for two hours doing nothing but watching someone’s interpretation of a book that a screenwriter had butchered.

“
That’s a good idea.” Logan moved his head a bit closer to Rachel’s neck, “Would you like to go sometime?”

“
To a movie?” Rachel didn’t take her eyes off the road. “Maybe.”

“
What’s playing right now?” Ethan interjected, ignoring the fact that Logan was actively hitting on his sister.

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but was interrupted by Kelly who didn’t move his head to look at them, “Rachel doesn’t like movies.”

His voice was monotone and Rachel wondered what he could possibly have to be upset about.

She hadn’t done anything wrong.

“Oh don’t be such a sour puss.” Logan teased Kelly as he leaned back in his seat, hitting the back of it with a thud, clearly feeling slightly defeated.

Kelly didn’t move or even acknowledge that Logan had spoken to him. Rachel glanced at him in the rear view mirror but couldn’t see anything on his face passed those black sunglasses.

Something was bothering him; that was for sure. She would recognize that face anywhere. But before she could say anything about it, or even get his attention, Ethan changed the subject.

“
Hey, mom wanted you to call her later.” Ethan said, his normal, carefree attitude coming back.

“
Oh?” Rachel swallowed. She hadn’t spoken with her mother in quite some time; communication had never been high on their list of priorities. “When did she say this?”

Ethan shrugged, “I don’t know, maybe a couple weeks ago.”

Rachel suppressed the feeling of exasperation that filled her throat and constricted her air. If she called her mom now, she’d be accused of ignoring the request for too long. Again, Rachel was faced with the side effects of having an emotionally stunted, negligent brother.

She would have to call her mother sometime soon though; it would only do more harm to put it off.

Soon she was waiting outside the auto parts store while her brother and his friends perused the aisles looking for anything and everything that could make their old van better, as if anything ever could.

Rachel ran her fingertips over the white steering wheel of her own car and again was reminded of how she had come across such a lucky find.

Put in enough hours and you’ll get rewarded for your efforts, something her dad always said whenever Rachel would complain that she was doing too much without enough of a pay off at the end of the tunnel.

Well, she had put in hundreds of hours... and now, she had gotten Jamie. Her dad had been right.

So why did Ethan fight him at every turn?

It was no secret that Ethan and their dad had always had a volatile relationship. Too many differences under one roof, their mom would say. Too many differences and not enough understanding.

But Rachel could say the same about her.

No one was as clean as they wanted to look. Rachel knew that more than anyone.

The divorce had been civil. The family had never been.

Family ties had always taken a backseat to proving who was right in an argument; arguments that held no restraint for harsh words or feelings. If you had something to say in the moment, better spit it out, because the other person could pull out verbal daggers at a moment’s notice, leaving you bare, defenseless and bleeding.

Rachel had always reasoned away that if Ethan would just be good, if he could just get his act together, then everything would be okay. But that was never the case. Ethan couldn’t control himself much the same way you couldn’t tame a squirrel.

No matter how many daring jumps the squirrel performed, one of those days every onlooker knew it was only time that stood between the squirrel and a quick drop to the pavement. One wrong step and that would be that.

Rachel sighed and tried not to think about what Ethan’s wrong step would be, she knew it was inevitable, but she didn’t want to guess about it. She never wanted to think poorly of her brother, even if that was the only thing he ever gave her.

He never tried so therefore, he never succeeded. But with that, he never had a chance to fail and Rachel knew that that would hurt Ethan more than any amount of lethargy ever could.

If Ethan tried, really tried, and still came up short, it would ruin him.

Maybe Ethan was aware of that.

Maybe that was the answer to everything after all.

Rachel reached up to look at her makeup in the rearview mirror, just to pass the time while she waited on them to return.

In the reflection she saw Kelly walk out, hands in his pockets. He looked in her direction for a moment, but instead of sauntering over like she thought he would, he turned and walked in the other direction.

For a while, Rachel watched him go, feeling that same pang of guilt as before, but when Ethan and Logan emerged, shopping bags in both hands she pushed it from her mind.

Logan slung his bags in the car and jumped over the door after them, he slid across the back seat so that he was sitting directly behind Rachel and stretched his long, tan arms across the head rest. “Great summer car, Rachel.” He was smiling and moving his head to a beat that only he could hear, “Really enjoying the ride.”

“
Thanks.” Rachel gave him a polite smile; she looked at Ethan, “Find everything you need?”

Ethan shrugged, “Think so, gotta get it home, and then we’ll find out.” He let out a nervous chuckle.

“Where’d Kelly go?” Rachel tried to sound just concerned enough to come across as curious rather than actually concerned.

“
Eh.” Ethan shrugged, “Its Kelly.”

“
He’s moody.” Logan added, “Sometimes you just gotta let him do his own thing.”

Rachel pulled away from her parking spot and headed home, “Is he walking home?”

“Maybe.” Logan laughed. “I don’t know, he just said he needed some fresh air and split.”

“
And that’s normal?” Rachel knew she was frowning, but she couldn’t help herself.

“
Pretty much.” Ethan was nodding, “Why? You think he’s gonna get abducted or something?”

“
No.” Rachel flicked on the blinker and turned right, “I just thought it was odd.”

“
Ooh someone’s worried about Kelly.” Ethan teased her, nudging her sharply in the ribs.

Rachel tried to move away from the brotherly ribbing, but didn’t laugh at his joke, “Not really.”

“Don’t worry, Rach, he’ll find his way back. Always seems to.” Logan tried to reassure her.

“
I wasn’t worried.” Rachel defended herself. But wasn’t she? Isn’t that why she had asked in the first place? Because she was worried, because she was afraid she wouldn’t see him again. Even after everything that had happened, the thought that he could walk out of her life again was a painful one.

The occupants of the car were silent for a few blocks before Rachel opened her mouth, she really couldn’t help herself, she had to know how Kelly had gotten to be staying with her. “So how did you meet Kelly?”

Logan took this as a joke and started laughing in the backseat while Ethan tried to answer her question. “Well, we’ve always known Kelly. I mean, I think I met him the day we moved to Hartford.”

Ethan had started living there when he was eleven. That meant that he had known Kelly for ten years, long before she had even known he existed.

“You never talked about him before.” Rachel said with a shrug, hoping she didn’t look too curious.

Ethan returned the shrug with one of his own, “I guess I never really thought I needed to.”

“Hm.” Rachel let the subject die in silence and drove the rest of the way home that way. Letting the others think what they wanted.

They got home fine and Rachel excused herself back to her room almost immediately, planning on calling her mom as soon as she was alone.

Rachel closed the door behind her and pulled her smart phone out of her clutch, seeing that she had gotten several new emails from various universities that wanted her to attend in the fall, regardless of the one black spot on her otherwise perfect record. She guessed they didn't mind that much that she stabbed a fellow student in the shoulder with a pencil; so long as she kept her grade point average up.

She sighed and knew she would have to pick one out at some point in time, but she figured she could push it off just a little bit longer. Just long enough to figure out what she actually wanted to do with her life.

Rachel bit the inside of her cheek and tried to think of what she really wanted to do with her life. She had always had a plan. Always. Now, with the impending doom that was adulthood she couldn't quite seem to get her act together.

She dialed her mom’s number and put the receiver to her ear, waiting patiently through the rings. She was sent to voicemail and Rachel contemplated leaving a message. Deciding not, she hung up the phone.

Rachel closed her eyes and rested her head against the phone, wishing for a moment she had a normal relationship with Helen DeVross. But that would be asking too much wouldn't it? Normal wasn't in the cards for Rachel Gunn. Never had been.