Kentucky Heat (13 page)

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Authors: Fern Michaels

BOOK: Kentucky Heat
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“Is there anything else in the box, Nealy?” Pyne asked.
“Some letters. I guess they're from her sisters. And a book. No, it's not a book. Well, it is a book but it's a diary. Mama's diary. Oh, my God! Mama kept a diary. Now we'll know everything. Everything we ever wanted to know about her. Look, it's late. Let's make some dinner since it's your cook's day off. Some fresh coffee. We'll build up the fire and sit in here, and I'll read her life to us this evening. I want to think about all this for a little while. You know, kind of hug it to me. Is that okay with you both?”
“Sure, but you have to do the cooking. I have some things to check on at the barn. Rhy, you bring in a load of firewood. Bring lots of it. I have a feeling it's going to be a long night. You might need to bring in some beer from the back porch.”
Nealy settled herself in the corner of the deep, comfortable sofa. Next to her on a small table was a thermos of coffee. Beer bottles in a bucket of ice rested on the coffee table between her brothers' recliners. It was nine-thirty when Nealy opened her mother's diary. Once it had been bright red. Now it was faded to a dusty pink. The small brass key was pinned in place with a thumbtack.
“This is a five-year diary. What that means is there are just a few lines for each day of the year. I never had one of these, but I gave one to Emmie when she was about ten. We used to laugh at how she could only get a few words on each page because she wrote her letters so big. She would . . . What she would do was write her secrets on a piece of paper and then Scotch tape it to the page. At the end of the first year that diary was ten inches thick with extra sheets of paper. This diary,” she said, looking at her brothers, “was probably never meant to be read. I have mixed feelings about reading it. Maybe if we'd had a normal life and came across this by accident at some point, I want to think I would have returned it to wherever I found it. I hope we're doing the right thing by reading it.”
“Is the book full? Did she use up all the pages?” Rhy said.
“No. There's about thirty pages with nothing written on them. Sometimes, she skipped whole weeks and months. I guess she just wrote what she thought was important. The first entry is the one where she met Seth Coleman. This is what it says. . . .”
 
I met the most dashing man today at the diner. He kept ordering food just so I would keep coming back to his table. He told me my hair was beautiful and that my complexion was like fresh cream. I tried to hide my hands because they're so rough and red. I wonder if he'll come back. He left me a wonderful tip. I'm going to buy some of that glycerine and rosewater. Maybe even a pair of rubber gloves for when it's my turn to do the dishes. I hope he comes back.
 
“The next entry is two weeks later.”
 
He came back. He asked if I'd like to go for a walk with him after my shift was over. I said yes. He told me again how pretty I was. He told me he thought about me every day for the whole two weeks. He's so virile. We walked over to the park and sat on one of those hard wooden benches. I let him kiss me. I thought my heart would pound right out of my chest. He told me he was a widower. He likes me a lot. I can tell. He asked if he could see me again. I said yes.
 
“It goes on like that for a while. Mostly just one line here or there. Then at the end of the month she writes a summary. At least I think it's a summary. Here's the first one.”
 
This has been a month to end all months. I think I'm falling in love. Seth says he already loves me. He wants me to have sex with him. I said no. He comes by every single day. They're starting to tease me at the diner about snagging a rich rancher. I asked him if he was rich, and he said yes. He brings me flowers every single day. Little bunches of violets. He's very kind and gentle with me. He says pretty things that I like to hear.
 
“There aren't any entries for the next few months. This is the next one, four months later.”
 
I'm beside myself. I don't know what to do. Seth wants to go to bed with me. I keep saying no. Mama would skin me alive if she knew I was even thinking about going to bed with a man I wasn't married to. All my girlfriends have had sex, and they tell me to go ahead. Seth said we could take a trip. He worked up this fancy story for me to get away. I'm thinking about it. I want to, but I'm afraid someone will find out.
 
“There's not another entry for an entire year. This is the first one.”
 
I asked Seth point-blank if he intended to marry me. He said, not yet. Mama won't even look at me. She called me a harlot. Daddy won't look at me either. They won't sit at the table with me. They stopped going to church because everyone is talking about me. Seth said he loves me and that sex with me is so wonderful all he does is dream about me. I told him how things are at home, and he agreed to get me my own apartment so he can come over anytime he feels like it. He said he would buy me my own car. Imagine that! He gives me spending money, too, as he put it, to buy myself some pretties. He means fancy underwear and silky nightgowns. I do it because I love him. He never talks about his other life but I asked around and I know he has children. I think he's ashamed of me. I started to cry when I asked him that and he said no, he wasn't ashamed of me. I want to get married because I love him so much it hurts when I can't see him.
 
“No more entries for seven months.”
 
I've made up my mind. I'm moving out of the apartment and giving back the car. I can't live like this. My friend Melba said I could stay with her for a while. I'm not even going to tell Seth. I'll leave him a note. I can get a job waitressing anywhere. I don't have any willpower where he is concerned. This will be a good way to find out if he truly does love me or if he just wants a cookie on the side.
 
“There aren't any real entries, a line here or there saying she hasn't seen him or heard from him. She got a new job at someplace called the Sweet Grass Cafe. The next entry is four months later.”
 
He found me. He looked awful. Sad and his eyes filled up. He said he loved me more than he loved his horse. I guess that's a good thing. He said he would marry me, but we couldn't tell anyone for legal reasons. I don't care about reasons. I just want to marry him and be happy. I hope we have a baby.
 
“Well, she got her wish. The next entry is two weeks later.”
 
We got married. Seth wanted to keep the marriage license, but I wanted to keep it. He said no, he's the man, and he should keep it. He stuck it in his pocket and when he fell asleep, I took it out and hid it. He thought he lost it. He was so upset. He never asked me if I took it, so I didn't have to lie. He said he could get a copy of it by paying more money. I never in my wildest dreams thought I could be so happy. I now have a beautiful two-bedroom apartment with a marvelous kitchen. Seth bought me a fancy yellow car, a brand-new one. He said it was a wedding present. He gave me a string of pearls. He is so kind to me. He comes every day. He gives me more money now so I won't have to work. My hands are starting to look real nice now. I even polish my nails.
 
“The next time she wrote was a full year later.”
 
Merciful God, I'm pregnant. I thought it would never happen. Seth was furious at first. Then when he saw how happy I was, he smiled. He said he was going to have to move me again. To Dallas. I cried for days because that means I won't see him every day. He said he would visit weekends. He said he would find a nice house with a backyard for our firstborn. I pray that it will be a boy. I asked him today if he was ever going to take me to the ranch, and he straight out said no. He said our life had to be kept separate and secret. I did agree to that, so I cannot complain.
 
“There are other one-line entries mostly dealing with her morning sickness and Seth not showing up every weekend the way he promised.”
 
I have a beautiful baby son. He is so precious he takes my breath away. Seth is mesmerized with him. I think he truly loves him. Rhy coos for him and grabs his finger. Seth says he is going to grow up to be a sturdy lad. I sit for hours just watching him or else I rock and sing to him. He is the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me. I sent Mama a letter telling her, and she sent it back. I sent one to Carl, and he said it would be better if I didn't write him again. I don't know where my sisters are. When Mama and Daddy got so angry they moved out. I feel sometimes like I broke up our family. Seth says that's nonsense and said I don't need anyone but him. He forgot to leave money for me today. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid to call him at the ranch to remind him. He warned me never to do that. Maybe I can think of something clever.
 
“She wrote six months later.”
 
I'm pregnant again. And I'm still nursing Rhy. I'm afraid to tell Seth, but I know I have to. I haven't seen him in over a month. There is barely enough food. I've been watching one of the neighbor's children just for pin money. Pin money that buys bread and peanut butter. I'm so sick of it I could throw up. I have to find a way to get some money even if I have to take it out of his trousers while he's asleep. This is a fine mess I find myself in.
Nealy's anger mounted as she read on. “There's more of the same. No money, he isn't visiting. Just a line here or there. He was furious when she told him. She writes that she cried for weeks at a time until Rhy came down with colic because he wasn't getting enough milk. Oh-oh, what have we here.”
 
Well, I got my spunk together and told Mr. Seth Coleman what I thought of him. I made demands. Threatened to go to the ranch if he didn't leave me enough money to live. He looked like he was ready to strike me. I dared him to lay a hand on me. Something in me died right then and there. He left me fifty dollars. I took another twenty out of his trousers while he was taking a shower. Then I went back and took two more twenties. I'm going to buy some fresh meat and vegetables. The baby is due any day now. My neighbor has promised to watch Rhy for me. I promised her twenty dollars, and she jumped at it. All the sunshine seems to have gone out of my life.
 
“The next entry is the day she came home from the hospital with you, Pyne.”
 
I have another son. He is just as beautiful as his brother. I'm surprised he is as big as he is and as healthy seeing how I didn't eat well during the nine months. He's a good baby, eats and sleeps. Rhy loves him. Seth said he was a strapping little boy. He brought me violets and tried to make peace with me. He left me $200. I took another fifty out of his trousers. Just in case. I hope he doesn't visit for a while. We do much better when he isn't around. I'm starting to dislike my husband.

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