Kicked: A Bad Boy Sports Romance (55 page)

When Addi came home early that next morning and found me sleeping on the living room floor with my cello, she practically tore the story from my throat, glaring at me with those caramel-brown eyes of hers until I fessed up about everything.

“That
pig,
” Addi growled, her righteous indignation making me smile. “God, I
knew
I hated him, but this … ” She made a noise in her throat and ran her tongue over her lower lip like a predator getting ready to hunt down some particularly troublesome prey. She looked it, too, in her high-high heels that she didn't bother to take off, stomping around the kitchen like it was a runway. Patrick was one lucky guy, taking out Addi in that off the shoulder top that I could never pull off, those designer jeans, makeup that was still perfect after a long night out. He hadn't come home with her, so that must've meant he'd left for San Diego again. “How dare he stomp all over your feelings like that. You want me to kill him for you?” She held up a knife in jest, but I just smiled sadly and shook my head.

“It's not that he really did anything wrong per se,” I began, but a look from Addi stopped me short.

“Practically fucking you in a restaurant bathroom was the right way to say no? Was that him letting you down easy? Was that him acting like an adult or a 'big brother'?” Addi made quotes with her fingers. I bit my lip but had no idea what to say. In fact, I had no idea what to even
do.
So much of my life had revolved around Flor. Sad as that might sound, I felt like I'd just lost a hobby. Well, okay, so it felt way worse than that, but it was as if there was this big gap in my life that I didn't know how to fill. We'd been together since I was five years old. Not being around him would really take some getting used to. Of course, this was just me thinking that we were done. Maybe he just assumed things would go on as they always had?

“Coffee delivery,” a voice said from behind me, making me jump. Theo appeared in the doorway with a set of house keys and several Starbucks drinks in a carrier, placing them on the counter, giving me a look that I did not want to return.

“I texted him as soon as I saw you. I thought you could use a shallow, useless day out, something that has nothing to do with Flor. Just us girls.”

“Amen,” Theo said, passing me a cup and smiling. He, too, looked aggravatingly perfect in the early morning sunshine. I knew what I looked like: a wreck. My heart was on my sleeve and bleeding all over the damn place. “No tea, no shade, girl, but you don't look so good. What'd this brother of yours do this time?”

I gave him a look and raised an eyebrow. Now, I wasn't one to gossip, but Addi had told me stories about Theo's dating life that made me falling in love with my stepbrother look like a party game.

“I'll tell you later,” Addi said pointedly, gesturing at the coffee with her long fingers. “Just feed her some macchiato and then let's see what we can do with those black circles under her eyes.”

“Do you remember that time in second grade when I made you a Mohawk with some Elmer's glue?” Theo asked, leaning on the counter and ignoring Addi. I smiled and then, just as suddenly, frowned. Of course I remembered that. I also remembered Flor's relentless teasing until he brought me to tears. And then he'd gone and stolen some cookies from River's supposedly secret stash, putting his arm around me and setting the goodies in my lap.

You know what?
he'd said, leaning down to look me in the eyes. I'd glanced up, my gaze blurry with tears and saw him smiling.
Maybe it's not as silly as I thought? Rock stars have hair like that
and everybody loves rock stars.
Later that evening, when my father had come home and ordered me to wash the glue from my hair, I'd thrown a massive tantrum. Everybody loves rock stars. Crap.

“No, no, no,” Addi said, shaking her shock of bright blonde curls. The look reminded me a little of Beyonce, circa 2011. “When you think about Florian, you get this faraway sort of a look on your face. You know, kind of like the one you have on right now.”

“Huh?” I asked, waking as if from a dream.

Theo and Addi exchanged a glance.

I knew then that I was in trouble. I looked between the two of them, all dressed up from whatever escapades they'd gotten up to last night, and I tried to smile. The expression felt stiff, like my lips were dry and cracking as they spread. I reached up and brushed my fingertips across my lower lip, but it was moist. Guess it really was all in my head then.

“Theo, it's time for an intervention,” Addi said, leaning down on the counter and crossing her arms. “The only two things Abi thinks about are school and Flor, but she's also incredibly shallow.” My friend winked at me, her silver eyeshadow flashing in the morning sunshine.

“OhmyGod,” Theo gushed, leaning in close to me, pushing his shoulder into mine. “That's perfect. If you're going to be shallow, you might as well take advantage of that. Forget about your brother and that cheating whore of a best friend of his, and let's go find some hot piece of ass for you to work on. Trust me, I know
exactly
where to find a whole gaggle of guys.”

“Straight ones, please,” Addi said and Theo made a pouty face at her. “I actually like Yuu, so don't screw this up. You promised I could be your maid of honor when you got married.”

“Married?” Theo said in a high pitched voice, putting a hand on his chest. “I thought I asked you never to utter that word in my presence. If anyone's headed to the altar, sweetheart, it's you.”

I smiled at their banter, feeling a short lived moment of reprieve. If I sat still, if I barely moved, if I listened to my friends talk about their relationships, I could almost forget that I was bleeding from the worst wound there is: heartbreak.

All I want is to be with you. But I can't. When our parents got married, I swore that I would take on the role of big brother and I have, damn it. I am your brother, whether you like it or not.

Like an echo of a memory, I heard Flor's voice clear and sharp behind me.

“Knock, knock.”

Addi and Theo stopped talking as I spun, finding my stepbrother in the doorway with his keys in one hand and a slight frown on his face. He was staring right at me, looking too perfect in a clean shirt and jeans, a pair of black boots I'd never seen before gleaming on his feet. And those fucking eyes.

I felt my own widen in response, knowing exactly what I looked like: smeared makeup, puffy eyes, dark circles, yesterday's rumpled clothes. Flor's gaze shifted to the abandoned cello lying on the living room floor and then back to me. Once upon a time, he'd sit and listen to my “concerts”, always attentive, never playing with his phone or horsing around. Then, of course, he hit puberty and he didn't have time anymore. I missed those days more than I could express in words.

I looked away.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Addi snapped, coming to my rescue. She moved out of the kitchen to stand in front of me, acting like a shield between me and my heartbreak. My pulse sped up as anxiety curled in my stomach, making my body ache with tension.
Crap.
Addi and Flor had never really gotten along, but they'd made it work. Now? I wasn't sure she was going to pull any punches this time. “That you even have the audacity to show your face here – ”

“Oh come off it, Addi,” he snapped back at her, “Abigail borrowed my car, remember? I brought hers back, but I need my keys.” I heard footsteps and suddenly Flor was right there behind me. I sensed him before I even saw him, glancing over my shoulder and finding Addi with her arms crossed over her chest and a scowl on her face. Flor was ignoring her, looking straight at me. His fingers came out and brushed some hair behind my ear, making me want to whimper. Luckily, I held the sound in. “You look terrible,
nee-chan.
What's wrong?”

“Don't freaking touch her, Florian. What do you think is wrong? For years we've been dancing around this subject like it didn't matter. Well, it matters now. You hurt her, you insensitive asshole. If you really wanted to be a brother to her, you wouldn't have acted the way you've acted. She's been in love with you for
years
and you had the fucking gall to act like you didn't notice. You want to know why I've never liked you?” Addi pointed right at me as my stomach turned to ice, plummeting to my belly and shattering in a sea of shards that cut me to pieces. “This. This is why. She hasn't slept; she's been crying all night, Flor. This is not how you let someone down easy.”

Shit.

I appreciated Addi jumping in to save me, but … why did she have to say all of those things? Like I wasn't already embarrassed enough? Like I wasn't already humiliated beyond redemption?

“I … ” For once in his life, Florian seemed to be at a loss for words. I found my hand straying unconsciously back to my tattoo, resting my fingertips on my hip as my vision swam and dizziness threatened to overtake me. Too much emotion, not enough sleep. I groaned and turned around, finding three sets of eyes fully focused on me.

“Your keys are on the hook by the door,” I said, proud of myself for keeping my voice steady. I pointed and tried to smile again, but my mouth felt more than just dry this time. It was practically frozen in place. “You can leave mine in their spot.”

I stayed that way for a long moment, holding my breath and hoping this confrontation would end sooner rather than later.

Flor stayed very still, and then, like lightning, his hand was coming out to grip my arm, his tattooed fingers curling around my wrist.

“Come with me,” he said as I resisted, dug my heels in quite literally. My stockinged feet slid across the floor as he tugged me from my spot on the stool.

“I'm not really in the mood,” I said as Addi's defenses went up and she stepped forward to intervene. I gave her a look that said
I can handle this
and she paused.

“Flor,” I said firmly, but he wasn't listening. He pulled me as far as the doorway before letting go and leaning down to pick up a pair of my ankle boots. He tried to hand them to me, but I wrapped my arms around myself and refused to take them.

“I want to take you to lunch. That's it. Just lunch. Please, Abi. I don't want this … this thing to fucking ruin what we have.”

Anger surged inside of me, hot and bright, like sunlight through a magnifying glass, its lens focused right between Flor's perfect green eyes.

“This thing?” I choked before he had a chance to retract his statement. I could see him getting angry right back at me. Why, I'm not sure, but that only served to piss me off further. “This
thing
means
everything
to me!” I screamed at him, embarrassed that Theo and Addi were here to witness yet another epic confrontation between the two of us.
If I'm going to move on, put myself together, I have to make sure I have no regrets.
Right now, I still had dozens – at least. “Don't diminish my feelings, Flor. Don't you dare.”

I hated the way his eyes slid to the side while the muscles in his jaw clenched angrily.

After several seconds of standing there, wrapped in tension and hurting, Flor moved forward suddenly and grabbed me. One hand went around my waist, the other behind my knees, and he picked me up in his arms, my boots dangling from his fingers.

“Lunch,” he said as he started down the stairs. “That's all I'm asking.”

“I'm going to freaking
end
you,” Addi said, following after us.

When we hit the bottom of the stairs, I finally woke up enough from my momentary daze to remember to be angry. Flor's hard chest pressing against me, his hands on my skin … Goddamn it.

Passersby gave us some funny looks as people streamed in and out of the shoe store beneath my apartment, but nobody said anything, giving our little group a wide berth as they streamed by. I think – but I'm not sure – that Theo was filming the whole scene with his iPhone.

“You want me to call the police?” Addi asked me as Flor set me down and I stood there in my socks on the pavement, my skirt rumpled, my head swimming.

Flor looked straight back at me as I steeled myself and took a deep breath.

I held out my hand for my boots.

“Lunch,” I told him firmly, glancing sideways at Addi as if to say
I've got this.
“Just lunch. This is your last chance for redemption, Florian Harper Riley.”

Flor and I decided to walk the mile to Toshi's Ramen. The air was cool, but the sun was out and its golden fingers felt warm against my spine. I kept my arms crossed over my chest and second-guessed my decision for nearly the entire walk.

Being with Flor now was … odd. A good portion of my life had been spent by his side, but my feelings had always been a secret. Well, if not entirely a secret at least unspoken, unconfirmed. Now that he knew how I felt, it was just weird. I was standing next to the guy I loved, who said he loved me back, but yet we couldn't be together. I wondered absently if I were given the chance, if Flor said yes to this but our parents balked, would I choose a romantic relationship with him over my own father? Over the man who was gruff and frustrating at times, but who'd taken care of a baby in the wake of his own heartbreak, who'd done a pretty damn good job at it, too? Besides, even if it really did come down to a
Flor or Father
sort of a thing, I knew I wouldn't just be ruining
my
relationship with my dad. This could ruin Flor and his mom, his mom and my dad. There were any number of reasons that Florian was right about this.