Kidnapped by the Taliban (22 page)

Most Afghans in the cities, especially the youth, welcome help from America and other outside entities. They have seen how opportunities for education and an improved economy can change their lives for the better.

I have personally observed this openness to foreigners. Every time I go to Afghanistan, visiting villagers see what our NGO staff is doing with medical clinics and education programs and ask us to open community centers in their own villages. We always have to say no because of our limited resources. I remember one young man in particular who said, “You guys are doing such a great job here. Please do this work in my village too. If no one makes this kind of effort, most of us will end up joining the Taliban.”

Community development in a nation such as Afghanistan is certainly a challenge. The idea is to start a program that will eventually stand on its own. Yet there are so few local resources, and often so little hope among the people, that getting to that point takes a long-term commitment. We
are
making steady progress. The advances in medical care and education are paralleled by new relationships among
the rural people. Leaders of different tribes, as well as women from different villages, are talking to one another for the first time, leading to greater collaboration and understanding.

I do have hope for Afghanistan’s future. My hope lies especially in what I see in this nation’s young people. I remember Ajmal, the teen who spoke so eloquently at the debate tournament in Kabul just a few days before my kidnapping. He exuded enthusiasm, passion, and leadership potential. These were the same qualities I was soon to observe in another young man of nearly the same age: Wallakah. They came from different backgrounds but had much in common.

And what about the Taliban, you ask. Is there any hope that these violent fundamentalists might one day lay down their arms and join the majority of the nation in seeking a more peaceful and cooperative future?

Again I say yes—under certain conditions. A continuing commitment to community development is vital. It will take people showing the Taliban that another way of life is possible and beneficial, that they can live and thrive by joining with others rather than excluding. It will also take village elders with the courage to say, “This is not working. We’re not going to live this way anymore.” The Taliban cannot exist as an organization without the support of villagers.

Then there is the matter of faith. The Taliban are driven by self-righteousness. They believe that God wants them to kill in order to purify their tribe and nation. This includes both infidels and their own people if they oppose Taliban views. The Taliban want to separate themselves from the rest of the world. Yet the Koran also teaches Muslims to respect their fellow human beings. If only the Taliban would embrace what they accept in theory but so rarely put into practice—that the world belongs to God and that he loves all his people.

As I have gone through the different stages of life, I have learned the value of assessing my spiritual growth. While my journey is at times challenging, it is a worthy one. For me, it is less about being religious and adhering to rules and routines and more about seeing and caring for others through the loving eyes of God. I try to rely always on God’s grace and mercy, to understand his ways in my life, and to project his love to others.

I am not so naïve as to suggest that achieving dramatic changes among the Taliban will be easy. Not at all. It will be a long, difficult struggle filled with setbacks. But I believe it is both possible and worth the effort. The Taliban are known for having closed minds, yet this is not what I experienced while talking with Wallakah, Haqqani, and some of the others. They realized they were at a dead end and sought something different. Thousands of people in Afghanistan—city dwellers and villagers and Taliban alike—are hungry for a better life. They are searching for answers if only someone will show them the way.

Will I be one of those people? As I write this, I don’t know. My son Jaron was probably four years old when he said to me, “You know, Papa, I know why you go to Afghanistan. People really need your help.” They still need my help today. My passion to continue my work among people I’ve grown to love is as strong as ever.

Many of us are quick to recognize measurable progress in developing nations—higher percentages of healthy babies, lower death rates among mothers during childbirth, decreasing reports of disease. But so much of what we do cannot be charted on a graph. As I’ve worked in Afghanistan and interacted with its people, I have experienced so much hope, joy, and peace. Simply taking the time to talk and listen with respect has an amazing impact. It is measured not in
numbers but in smiles, trust, and new relationships. When we invest in those who are vulnerable and disenfranchised, our lives become more fulfilling.

I long to renew this work and had actually planned to return to Afghanistan for the first time in March 2014. But my passport mysteriously disappeared after I mailed it to the Afghanistan Embassy in Washington, D.C. Since then I’ve endured the deaths of friends, gained a better understanding of the emotional toll of such a trip on my family, and heard repeated advice from new friends in the military to stay away for now. While I continue to pray about the timing of my return, I will pursue creative ways to make a difference, even from a distance. After all, lasting change does not depend only on me. It was the combined efforts of many that allowed me to make a positive difference on previous trips. It will take more of this kind of team effort by both the Afghan people and the international community to keep the country moving forward.

As I think about Afghanistan and my own future, I realize that life is more precious to me than ever. I am reminded of this every time I look at my wife—at the time of this writing, we are expecting our fifth child. The joy my family brings me continues to outweigh the trials and heartaches.

If I have learned anything from my abduction and rescue, it is that God is in complete control of my life, regardless of what happens to me. I knew that before, but now it is branded indelibly in my psyche. I also understand that he loves me and that I can trust him.

When I was six years old, I had an experience that deepened this love and trust. I was in bed in my pajamas when my mother sat down and gently told me we could not afford the spoonful of sugar she usually added to my milk each night. “But I am going to pray that God
would sweeten this milk for you, Dilip,” she said, “and that as you drink, it would be the best milk you’ve ever had.”

Even at that age, I was skeptical of my mother’s words. How, I thought, was this going to work?

But sure enough, when I drank, it really was one of the best and sweetest glasses of milk I’d ever tasted. I was so amazed that God cares about even the minute details of our lives. What I learned was that even when you don’t have much, you still have God.

When I was kidnapped by the Taliban, my life was no longer my own. The most basic choices that most of us take for granted were suddenly out of my hands. No options. No freedom. No future. Yet even though I’d lost virtually everything, I still had God. I still had his Spirit to guide and comfort me. He was what I needed most then and is still what I need most today.

I cannot imagine anything sweeter.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

LIFE IS SO OFTEN THE BEAUTIFUL RESULT OF PEOPLE, PLACES, and situations, all playing their parts to bring about deeper purpose and meaning. I am indebted to many who have molded me into who I am today.

To my father and mother—I couldn’t have asked for a better upbringing. Your sacrifices and your service to God, family, and others taught me the valuable lesson of striving for a balanced life. I am eternally grateful to God for choosing you both to raise me.

My sister Deepa and her family—Life simply wouldn’t have the same meaning without you. Ever since Mom’s death, you have taken on many different roles for my sake and for that of our extended family. You are a rock that many depend on, including me. Steve and my two beautiful nieces are great icing on the cake.

My extended family—I am so grateful for your continued voice in my life. My uncles and aunties from both sides of the family—your love and care during many milestones in my life continue to be defining factors that propel me forward. A special shout-out goes to my Uncle Roy and Uncle Thomas. You both mean a lot to me, and I am so grateful for your support and devotion.

My work colleagues—If it wasn’t for the dedication and tireless effort from all of you—Daniel, Lars, John, Paul, Lori, Joan, Adrienne, Roy, Grace, Akram, Al, Ken, Debbie, and all of you in Afghanistan—I simply wouldn’t be here today. I am so grateful that our paths have crossed. Thank you for demonstrating what is of greatest value on almost a daily basis.

My two colleagues who were in captivity with me, Rafiq and Farzad—I am deeply indebted to both of you. Your bravery and calm demeanor throughout our captivity helped me keep my composure during one of the most difficult experiences of my life. I don’t know what I would have done without the two of you.

Matthew, David, and Sam—You deserve a special note here. Upon my return the last thing I wanted to do was talk about what I had gone through with the Taliban. I received sound advice not to expect people to understand what I had just experienced. But talking to you three made me realize that this is a story to be shared. Your listening ears and gentle spirits made it easy for me to open up. It also helped tremendously that you had traveled on the same road where I had been captured.

Duane and Sam—I
love
our monthly get-togethers. I love that I can talk about anything with you guys. The word
friendship
has more meaning because of the two of you.

Vidu—You have been the brother I never had. You have played a significant role in my life since high school. Thank you for still believing in me and supporting me in so many ways. I am still hoping that we don’t have to live so far away from each other.

Jim—I still remember the first time I met you. I couldn’t help but wonder how this process of being an “open book” to a complete stranger was actually going to work. In a matter of a few months, you
became not only a close friend but also “Uncle Jim” to my kids. Many times when it seemed our deadline was going to be hard to meet, your incredible gift of putting my thoughts into words, along with your patient demeanor, has gotten us through. I have a book I’m extremely proud of mainly due to you, my friend.

Joel—Since you have decided to pull the curtain on this chapter of your life as a literary agent, here is one wish that this book will become one of your legacies. I want you to know that if it wasn’t for your easygoing manner, I would not have signed up for this project. Also, your insight in bringing Jim into the picture was a classic example of your sheer genius. I wish you much success in the next chapter of your journey.

Debbie—I can’t believe that I have yet to meet you because it feels like I have known you for years. Your belief and enthusiasm and gentle probing have moved this project along in record pace. I can’t wait to meet you and celebrate! And, yes, I also have enjoyed your twenty e-mails each day over the past several months. We would not have made it without your oversight—well done. My sincerest gratitude goes out to you and the entire team at Thomas Nelson for all your tireless efforts.

Nic—There is now one more thing I have added to the list of what I will not understand on this side of heaven. To rescue me, you paid the ultimate sacrifice. While your legacy will live on in my life and that of my family, my prayer is that many who read this story will be inspired by the example of your intentional service to make their own choices to live sacrificially for their families, communities, and nation.

My new friends at the FBI, in the military, and in other sectors of government—Before this event, I didn’t even know that the FBI had a
citizen’s service department. All of you have served me and my family so beautifully. Because of your care, I feel that I have made it through this event unharmed.

The people of Afghanistan—The world knows very little about you, and that little doesn’t portray who you really are. My experience has revealed so much more. Your resolve, pride, resilience, and camaraderie bring a beauty that the world simply needs to know. My wish and prayer is that you stand up against what is bad and stand up for the truth that brings life. This world has much to learn from you.

Cilicia, Asha, Jaron, Tobi, Eshaan, and the baby—You bring me
life
every day. Not a single day is the same, and I love it. All of you love me for who I am and help make me who I want to be. I couldn’t ask for more. I appreciate the role you play to enable me to equip others who are in greater need.

To you, the reader—I am grateful for your choice to read this book. It is my hope that you now see Afghanistan in a different and more comprehensive light. Perhaps you will even accept the challenge to personally experience this nation and its people. If so, you will never be the same—and I mean that in the best of ways.

—Dilip Joseph

DILIP JOSEPH IS A REMARKABLE MAN. THE SAME EASYGOING manner, positive attitude, and unshakable faith that served him so well during a kidnapping by the Taliban also enabled him to put up with months of my endless questions. Thank you, Dilip, for your patience and your friendship, for your heart for all people in this world, and for the window into the life of an amazing servant. You have taught me more than you know.

To Cilicia, Asha, Jaron, Tobi, and Eshaan. Thank you for welcoming me into your home and making me feel like part of the family. I can’t wait to come back and read more bedtime stories.

Daniel, Lars, and everyone at Morning Star who was so helpful during my visit there. I admire you all for bringing much-needed peace and hope to the world.

Everyone who made my research trip to Afghanistan such an amazing experience. Lars, thanks for being my last-minute tour guide to Kabul—and for loaning your clothes when my luggage didn’t show. Mahmoud and family in Dubai, I so appreciated your hospitality. So many others contributed in multiple ways, including Al, Aref, Bruce, Debbie, Faith, Gabriella, Jerry, John, Ken, Mary Beth, Ron, Sheila, Sofia, Stephanie, Theresa, and the native team members. You all have my best wishes and gratitude.