Kill the Ones You Love (14 page)

All Troutner could think to say to this diatribe was “I'm Catholic. I believe in miracles.”

Gabe replied, “Amen.” Then he was off and running again. “Keep preaching that, and hope that no one attacks you and you gotta be in this situation—”

Troutner interrupted and said about the shooting, “I'm like you. The training kicks in. We're trained and trained and trained. And the muscle memory kicks in.”

Gabe veered off once more. “You know, in Salt Lake City, there's a fella that started pulling a gun—the guy that took me down was an off-duty police officer, but he had a sidearm. I didn't have a gun, and somebody starts going AWOL, and goes killing. Man, guess what? I'm running at him, not from him. So I just don't have a badge on me. I don't know. It's up to Him, really. I don't want to spend the taxpayers' money to argue over whether I didn't get some public attorney to come here and be stressed out because this case is way more fuckin' than they know what to do with. And the lawyer thinks this guy (meaning Gabe) is a crazy SOB.”

Coady agreed, “Our lives would be a lot easier if more people felt that way.”

“Yeah, life would be a lot easier if more people took responsibility.”

All of them took a coffee break, and Coady said, “I'm tired.”

Gabe piped up and responded, “I'll bet. You've got a lot of work to do.”

They then all talked about the bad economy. Troutner joked to Coady that in thirty years he'd have about twenty-seven dollars in equity in his house.

CHAPTER 25

After the break, Gabe was in for more questioning. About his long-distance trip, a detective said, “Well, at least you got to see some of the country in the last few weeks.”

Gabe replied, “I've seen a lot of the country. That's the point. You get out there and you look at people in their faces and you stop watching TV, and you realize that people out there are a whole lot different than ones on television.”

Troutner added, “Especially the ones not on the Coast. I grew up in Washington State. And I know all about the Northwest's kind of liberal vibe.”

Gabe added, “A lot of people are hungry. A lot of people are starving. A lot of people are hurting. A lot of people can't find a job, no matter how hard they try.”

Coady said, “I'd like to go see your neck of the woods (Oregon) someday.”

Gabe responded, “Go see the Coast while it's still there.”

Coady asked, “Is it going to fall into the ocean?”

Gabe laughed. “Well, eventually it will.”

Coady then asked if Gabe had been up to Seattle recently. He answered, “Yeah. Real recent. As a matter of fact, I took Jessica and Kalea up there before this all went down.”

“Did you jump over and see any of the Olympic stuff up there?” Coady was referencing Canada.

“No, we went to [the] Pike Market, where they throw the fish and stuff. Just a road trip. You know, let Jessica see a better world. I mean, I kinda know what's coming.”

Coady asked, “Oh, yeah?”

“Yeah, seeing things, but not always real clear on how things are going to come out. You sense things. Our egos get us into big trouble. Make us look like fools in front of each other. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's realize that we're different, but we can get along fairly well.”

Coady said, “There was a time in the world where two guys could have a disagreement, duke it out and then go to the bar and have a beer together.”

Gabe replied, “That's right. And now there's a time where two guys have a disagreement, they have a beer and they shoot each other.”

“Exactly, and we deal with that a bunch.”

Gabe added, “The world should say, ‘There's plenty of food to go around. There's plenty of love. There's plenty of everything.' I don't see why you can drive downtown, where you have a lot of people going hungry, and they're throwing food away.”

Troutner once again said he grew up in the Seattle area, and wanted to know why Gabe and his family had gone up there just before the shootings. Gabe said, “There's no ulterior motive. I'm sure there's some suspicions on that. You know, like maybe we had contacts.” And then he angled off again, “But God knows everything, and so did Nostradamus a long time ago. I don't really think he was a prophet. I think he probably robbed a prophet and stole his writings and started making money off it.

“You know, John, sitting on the island, was shown a whole hell of a lot. And I'm going to tell you the rest of the story. So you all know what's going to happen, but you're going to die before it does.” Gabe was alluding to the Book of Revelation. “I mean, you ain't got M. Night Shyamalan making a movie right now, so I'll just show it to you. Well, it's like fiery wheels spinning. And it's like someone's telling me this stuff. But his name ain't Fahad, and he ain't no Arab, and it ain't no Asian guy. It is a loving Creator, who would really love His children to know what they're gonna do in themselves, not what He's going to do to them. And it's all a bunch of children who don't want to know. Now, most people are going to say, ‘This guy's a lunatic, ' unless they meet me and sit down and have a chat. I'm kinda nutty, but, you know, I've seen nutty, and that ain't it. All three of us have seen it, and you know you're not looking at it. As a matter of fact, you probably know someone that lives in your neighborhood and they're a hell of a lot nuttier than me. Probably eight people in this department, and we don't need to confirm that.”

Troutner laughed and said, “Yeah, I can touch that.”

Gabe continued, “At least, we can have a laugh, because that's the truth. So, how does anybody know anything? How did anybody learn anything? How does someone learn how to make a car? How does someone learn to have the balls to stand up and say, ‘My gosh, this slavery's getting' a little too old? Let's march right to D.C. and talk about this shit right in the open.'

“How do people get the inspiration? They get to a level of desperation when things get to be too much. Guess what? When you rub the lamp, the genie does show up. You know we can argue and say that the Catholic Church is true, this church is true, that church is true. Any human being that drops to their knees in humility and cries out for some help and some knowledge is gonna get it. And what they do with it is up to them. If they want to sell it and dance up on a stage and sing it and make their money, they can. Then that's their reward. A lot of people like yourselves use your talents, and I fairly think this occupation could pay you a whole hell of a lot more for what you're doing. And give you better medical insurance, but you do it because you've got the heart to serve. And I bet you anything, you guys have been inspired on cases plenty of times.”

Coady agreed with that, and Gabe went on. “Sometimes something catches your eyes. And you go, ‘Oh, my gosh, I wouldn't have noticed that at all.' But then you go on. We all have lives. We all have bills to pay. We—”

Coady may have had enough of this rambling and asked, “So, how'd you get out here from Oregon?”

Gabe said, “Drove. You want to get a map? I'll tell you the route.”

Coady replied, “What were some of the highlights? What did you see on the way?”

Gabe whistled and replied, “We stopped in a place and it was like an Indian relic. And we dropped in there and had a really awesome conversation with a gal that was trying to buy the place. And we felt what people were feeling out there. I mean, I know you guys feel what your wife is feeling sometimes. You walk in the door and you already know what she's feeling before you start talking.”

Gabe would not stick to the subject of what route they had taken to Virginia. Instead, he said, “There's a reason ninety percent of our brain isn't working. Most people aren't quite ready when you're even using twenty-one percent of it. And if someone develops that talent, they usually get them in the lab and create a nice form and say, ‘Hey, we're going to create pure energy.' And then they make a big-ass bomb with it and blow up two towns. Built with really cool people, I'm sure. So listen, I'm no terrorist. I have a plan. I have no bombs. I have nothing I'm going to drop on anyone. We can do a lie detector test on that.”

Coady said, “I don't think either one of us would accuse you of something like that.”

“I know. My trip was to go to New Mexico and show Jessica and Kalea a little bit of the countryside. We stopped at a couple of churches, met some people and attended a service.” Interestingly, Jessica would not mention this later. “Went to a restaurant and listened to people's stories. Saw a guy asking for a ride on the side of a street, cold fella waiting for the bus or something. And I said, ‘Hey, man, let me give you a ride. Where you going? Tell me about the town. How's the economy here?' And I gave the guy a White Castle burger. It was like thirty-nine cents. And, my gosh, he thought I was the Savior. I don't think there's probably a human being in town who couldn't have spent fifty cents on at least one bum for a White Castle burger. I mean, where was that guy going to go and get any kind of job? You can't go to a store and beg for help, because people will just turn up their noses and they won't help.

“You can't go to your cousin's, because your cousin's got the same problem. So, what do you do? You can't go to the countryside and farm. So you're stuck and nobody is out there caring. And you know what? I see Melissa Etheridge telling us we need to spend eight dollars a month to feed our doggies and kitties. But what about that dude right there? I see people giving charity funds for Haiti. I mean, they're God's children. But Tom down at the White Castle, he just needs to get some gas money to get a job in a better state.”

To all of this, the detective just kept saying, “Mmm-hmmm,” to keep Gabe talking.

“Jesus often said when he was here, ‘Man, this isn't my job this time around. But, boy, I'll tell you what. There's something waiting on the other side that isn't happy with the way you treat each other and women, especially women.' And that's the world we live in. It's going to get worse. We have an economy right now where there are three organizations powering us—gas, food and electricity. And in law enforcement, you guys are doing an excellent job. I swear you're overworked, man. The tide coming in at you is just going to get worse. Because you've got a whole lot of lions who ain't got enough food for their kids. So they're just going to be jacking each other.

“What happens, hypothetically speaking, is China pulls off trade and says, ‘We don't make shit for you anymore. We're not going to supply your plastic, your peanuts. We ain't gonna make your shirts. We ain't gonna make your shoes. We ain't gonna make nothin' for you.' Who's going to make it for us? Mexico? I mean, we've got plenty of them over here doing our jobs, anyway. Have we got a populace that is going to be willing to get paid three-fifty an hour to do that?

“Which means you guys aren't going to have cell phones, because the public doesn't give much of a damn about you. And you're not going to have the technology. You're not going to have what you need. And so, hypothetically speaking, there doesn't need to be terrorist acts to cause trouble here.

“It's just people being fed up. So don't be telling me you should be buying stuff made in America. You can't buy it. Guess where I shop, gentlemen. The clothes I've got, the shoes I've got—Walmart. They're Chinese. The president doesn't say it's getting better. The governors aren't saying it's getting better, except for Schwarzenegger, who's going to legalize marijuana and he's hoping that's gonna boom the economy. But that's a joke. So it isn't going to get better.

“People want more and more stuff and want to do less and less and less. I mean, you've seen this civilization. That's why we go to history. I don't have to sit down here and say, ‘I'm a prophet of God.' I've read my history books. I mean, this is exactly the climate in almost every major civilization when things started to go seriously downhill. So this isn't a conversation of what I'm guilty of. This is a conversation between three men about what's coming and it's predictable. I mean, an intelligent human being could predict it.

“The big one is coming. But it isn't God punishing His children. Like people want to believe He's super angry. Is He angry? Yes, yes, you would be angry if something happened to your children too. And you would lose control, or humble yourself for the rest of your life. One or the other. I would strongly suggest you pick the first one. You'll feel a hell of a lot better about yourself about it. I guarantee you.”

And now Gabe got to a point where he couldn't even string together a coherent sentence. “If I get to live, I'll bet you anything . . . I'll meet a new friend. I don't care how violent or ugly they are. I mean, Dad threw me in the ocean, man, let's dance. Who cares if that guy don't love Jesus? He gives me permission to say okay. But that is reserved for His . . . whatever. I mean, my plan is to love everybody. I love you two guys. If we met under different circumstances, you would all be real happy you met me. If I met you in a bar, I'd buy you ten shots. I've been in your seat. I used to pull people over and tell them that their car matches the description of stolen circus monkeys. I saw the damn tail on the back.”

Troutner laughed at that comment.

Coady said, “You spent time as a cop. And you know what it's like to wear the uniform. I'm just wondering if the night Robert and your mom walked in the house, that this confrontation happened—if there was a police officer walking in with them, would that have happened the same way, or do you think it would've been different?”

Gabe said, “It depends on what cop walked in with 'em.”

Coady stated, “Well, just hypothetically speaking, what would have happened?”

“I think if a cop walked in and Bob reached for the gun, and made me make the same decision, I'd be safe from all this crap because the cop would have shot him. I'd thank goodness, because now I can hang with my daughter and have a life, or different life, or whatever. But you know, that didn't happen.”

Then Gabe laughed and said, “Unless Robert Kennelly is a cop. Boy, that'd be crazy, wouldn't it?”

Troutner said to Gabe, “Okay, when we pulled you guys over, in part of the car, we found a nine-millimeter casing. The gun we found was a Beretta nine-millimeter. So, obviously, a round had been expended at some point.”

Gabe said, “Oh, gosh. Out in the desert. I wanted to make sure the gun worked.” (Author's note: Gabe's admission was at variance with Jessica's saying that he shot at an embankment near a home in Ohio.)

“What state was that in?”

Gabe replied, “I can't remember. But you know, I'm a bright fellow, and if I think it's massively important to take a good look at something and memorize it, like anatomy or physiology, because I need to understand those things, or better understand the world, I pay a lot more attention.” And then Gabe asked, “Has anybody else been damaged, hurt? No. And if they had, I would tell you.”

Troutner said, “So there's not going to be any more shell casings showing up? Because you know they've got the national computer database. So, how many times did you shoot it out there?”