KILLIAN: A Mafia Romance (The Callahans Book 2) (9 page)

Stacy

His scent wrapped around me. It wasn’t just the shirt I was wearing, his shirt that I picked up off the floor, but it was coming off my skin, too. He was all over me, not just his scent, but also the memory of his touch. My body ached, but at the same time, it was more relaxed than it’d ever been.

And yet, I couldn’t make my mind shut the hell up.

I stared out the window at the moonlight reflecting off the snow. I’d never been a huge fan of snow. It was wet and cold, and it made me miserable. But from here it looked like a clean slate. A new beginning. It looked like everything I should want right now but couldn’t allow myself to embrace.

It was just sex. What Killian and I were doing, it was just sex. There didn’t have to be more to it than that, did there? I never intended for this to happen, but then…I don’t know what I was thinking. I needed to feel his hands on me again. I lay there all night last night, the heat of his touch still filling my lower belly. I’d never been that aroused, not even all the times Davis left me alone after one of the heated make out sessions we often indulged in. Davis said he wanted to wait until our wedding night. Davis…I loved Davis. Was it wrong to admit that Davis’ touch didn’t do to me what Killian’s did?

I hated this; I hated the way I felt. I wanted to hate Killian. Why couldn’t I hate Killian?

I looked over at him. He was laying on his back, his hands tucked under his head. His biceps bulged and his chest seemed wider, more solid, tapering down into narrow hips and bulging thighs that were…he was hot. There was no denying that Killian was hot. But Davis had been good looking in his own way, too. Wasn’t that all just physical?

So why did my heart do this funny little flip every time I looked at Killian? Why hadn’t it done that when I looked at Davis?

My body was betraying me because even now I wanted to crawl into bed beside him and feel those strong arms wrap themselves around me.

I looked out the window again, focusing my thoughts on other things. On Pops, on the betrayal of him refusing me and Kevin and Kyle and everyone else the last few months of Mom’s life. On his decision to marry a woman he cheated on Mom with, on bringing her into Mom’s house, the same house he bought for her, the same house where she cooked and cleaned for him despite having a full-time job of her own. The same house where she raised us kids, where she loved us and promised to always be there.

I missed her. She was the first person in my life who ever kept the promises she made to me. I could talk to her about anything, and she was almost always on my side. And when she wasn’t, she explained her point of view in a way so that I couldn’t hold it against her. Often she was right and I was wrong and she was careful to never come out and say that, but to slowly guide me over to her side of things. She was a good woman.

I could tell her about this. I could tell her what was happening between Killian and I and know that she wouldn’t judge us. I knew she would be honest with me and tell me what I should do next. Without her, I had no guidance, no one to tell me what to do and how to do it. I had to make choices on my own, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that yet.

I was twenty-two, and I wasn’t ready to be a grown-up yet.

Even though I thought I knew what I wanted to do, I was just…had I done the right thing? Was this revenge right? Was I ruining everything, or was I fixing a wrong, righting the balance of right and wrong?

I wasn’t sure. When I looked at Killian, I lost my perspective. But when I thought about Davis…how could it be wrong? Someone had to pay for what happened to him. And what better payment than destroying the man who killed him and, in turn, destroying the man who put him up to it?

Brian would never forgive me for what was about to happen. And, in that, we’d be even.

***

“You could call in sick.”

I groaned. “I called in sick on Friday.”

“So maybe you haven’t recovered. Your foot is still pretty sore, isn’t?”

“This is a high-turnover business, Killian. They’ll fire me and a hundred wanna-bes will be lined up around the block to take my position.”

He leaned forward and kissed me, his lips lingering on mine. “Is it so bad that I want you with me every second of every day?”

“No. But we can’t live off like this alone. Besides…” I blushed. “I don’t think it’s physically possible to do it much more without something medically embarrassing happening.”

He laughed, a soft sound against my lips. “There are other things we could do.” His eyes sparkled with the possibilities. And he kissed me again, and I was almost lost.

“Killian…”

“We have so much time to make up for, baby. All those years when I didn’t think it would ever be possible for you to feel the way I felt.”

“Felt?”

“Feel. Will always feel.”

He wrapped his arms around me, pulling me higher onto his lap, his erection pressing seductively against me. I groaned, pretending I wasn’t prepared for another go round despite the fact that my belly fluttered with need at just that simple touch. I moved my hips just right, and he slid inside of me, nestling there like he always belonged there. He groaned, his hands gripping my ass, tugging me where he needed me, moving me against him until those waves of pleasure began to rush up and down the length of my spine.

Despite my protests, it was late before we finally pulled ourselves away from the solitude of the bed sheets and made our way back to the city.

“Stay with me,” I whispered against his lips when he kissed me goodbye.

“If I do, you’ll never go to work tomorrow.”

“I’m beginning to think that doesn’t really matter anymore.”

He groaned, but he did follow me inside, wrapping me in his arms as we fell, exhausted, into bed.

Revenge was coming. But was there anything wrong with enjoying myself a little before that?

Killian

She actually smiled when she saw me standing at the coffee pot. She came over and slipped between the counter and me. Her lips, freshly covered in gloss, slid over my chin.

She didn’t seem to mind when I kissed it off.

“Valentine’s Day is coming up,” she said softly this morning, sliding her hand under my t-shirt. “We should go down to the farm house for the weekend.”

“Are you sure you can spare the time?”

Her eyebrow cocked. “I’ll make the time.” She kissed me again, then slipped away, gathering her things.

These had been the best three weeks of my life. I couldn’t imagine anything better.

We sat together on the train as we’d fallen into the habit of doing, whispering to each other. She liked to make guesses about the relationships of the other people on the train. We made a competition of it. She owed me three steak dinners and a hundred bucks so far.

We were careful in front of her building. Sara knew that she was my sister. We didn’t want to raise any eyebrows by kissing in front of the building. It was hard to watch her walk away, but it was always a pleasure to watch her walk away.

This day was like all the others. I settled in the diner across the street, pulling out my laptop and running through some of the PR releases my department was running back in Boston. I normally did this at night when Stacy was safely tucked into her apartment, but now that we had other things to do at night, it seemed more practical to work during the day. I had the software on my phone that told me where Stacy was every second, so there really was no reason for me to be parked in front of her building, anyway.

MCorp was solid, as always. There’d been no new acquisitions in the past few months, but that was because the company was still dealing with the changes that came when we bought up that pizza franchise months ago. That was good, good for me. Less to worry about back at the office. I was anxious to get back there the first few weeks I was here, but I was beginning to settle into the routine of telecommuting. And after the last few weeks with Stacy…I thought I might be content to remain here for quite a long time.

I was watching Stacy and a few of her coworkers cross the wide sidewalk in front of their building as they found a bench to settle on and share their lunch. She was laughing at something someone had said. I didn’t like how vulnerable she seemed, but I was glad to see her so relaxed. The first week or two here, she never left the building, never really interacted with anyone else. But now…it was great to see her slowly returning to the girl she once was.

Ian always seemed to know when the perfect moment came to interrupt me. My phone buzzed, and his familiar voice slid over the miles to me.

“How’s New York, brother?”

“Big and noisy.”

He laughed. “Then you’ll be happy to learn that Pops has decided the threat against Stacy is no longer credible. He wants you to come home.”

Stacy laughed at that moment at something someone near her said.

Fuck!

***

I was lost in my own thoughts on the ride home. Stacy held my hand and never asked. She knew me well enough to know not to push me. I appreciated that, but I sort of wished she would ask. I needed to get this out; I needed to explain things to her before other things got in the way.

We lived together now. Neither of us saw the point in me keeping my room across the street when we spent every night together. There was already some college kid living in my room, playing loud music and leaving beer bottles on the front stoop of the elegant building. It annoyed me, but I tried not to let it get under my skin.

“I asked for the time off, and they gave it to me, so we can plan our trip.”

“What?”

Stacy glanced at me as she kicked her shoes of and tossed them into the bedroom.

“Valentine’s Day,” she said. “It’s a Sunday this year, so I asked for the Friday before and the Monday after off. That way we have a four day weekend.”

Valentine’s Day. That was this coming weekend.

I wouldn’t be here.

“I have to go back to Boston, Stacy.”

She was in the middle of unbuttoning her skirt, shedding her work clothes in favor of the comfortable yoga pants she wore around the apartment. She straightened, staring at me across the living room from where she was still standing inside the bedroom door.

“You’re leaving?”

“Ian called this afternoon. Pops wants me back.”

“Why?”

“Things have cooled off there. He hasn’t gotten any more threats from the people who took Brianna, and he thinks that they probably were never going to hurt you. He needs me back at MCorp.”

“No, he needs you back to help him protect Jack’s illegal activities.”

“Stace—”

“Why else? All he’s ever cared about is his work with Jack. Bringing guns and God knows what else into the country to make the streets of Boston that much more dangerous. Selling drugs and—”

“Stop it, Stacy,” I said, crossing to her in just a couple of quick strides. “You can’t just talk about it like that.”

“Why? Are you afraid the cops are smart enough to bug my apartment? I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but if they were that smart, Pops would have been in jail long before I came to live with the family.”

“I have to leave tomorrow morning. Do you really want to argue about this?”

“You don’t have to go.”

My eyes narrowed as I regarded her face. “You know that’s not true.”

“What hold does he have over you? Don’t you have a mind of your own?”

“Of course I do!”

“Then why? Why don’t you stay here with me?”

“Because I have a life there. My home is there, my job.”

“Oh.” She turned away, storming into the bedroom. “So you were only here with me because Pops told you to be. And now that he doesn’t want you here, it’s done? You don’t want me anymore?”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You didn’t have to.”

“Stacy, this has nothing to do with us.”

“It has everything to do with us!” She spun around, tears rolling in heavy drops down her face. “You’re leaving me.”

“Come with me.”

She laughed. “I’m sure Pops would love that. He’d have me back under his thumb again, and we’d have to sneak around, pretend that things haven’t changed between us because I know you would never tell Pops about us. You wouldn’t want him to look down on you.”

“That’s not true.”

“Isn’t it?”

I crossed to her, grabbed her by her upper arms. “I love you, Stacy. I’m only going to Boston. We can still see each other. I can come up here on the weekends; we can still go to Connecticut. We can still find time to be together.”

“For how long? What happens when Pops needs you on the weekends? What happens when it’s been months since we last saw each other? What happens when some other girl crosses your radar?”

“That won’t happen.”

“But it will. That whole distance makes the heart grow fonder bullshit is just that, bullshit.”

“Then I won’t go.”

She laughed again as she tugged away from me. She went into the bathroom and slammed the door so hard that the walls rattled. They could probably feel it upstairs. I stood there for a moment, not sure what I should do. But I knew. I’d always known it would come down to this. I grabbed my bag from the closet and began throwing my things into it. Better to rip the Band-Aid away in one, quick motion than to do it a little bit at a time.

I was nearly done when she opened the bathroom door.

She didn’t say anything. She just watched, her eyes wide and filled with the same sort of grief I’d seen in them the day she came to live with our family. I dropped the bag and went to her, pushing her back against the sink. We kissed, and it was more than it had been before. My very soul ached with the knowledge that this could be the last time.

“Marry me,” I said, whispering the words before I even knew I was going to say them. “Marry me and no one can keep us apart.”

She touched the side of my face, her beautiful eyes filled with tears again. “Are you sure?”

“More than I’ve ever been about anything.”

She made a sound that was a mixture of a chuckle and a moan. She wrapped her arms and her legs around me, forcing me to lift her to the sink. We kissed again, our hands tearing and pulling at one another. I wasn’t even sure if she’d said yes, or if she was just trying to let me down easily. But then it didn’t seem to matter as her hands tugged at the front of my jeans and her fingers wrapped themselves around me and pleasure exploded from every nerve ending, my knees threatening to give out on me as I pushed her back, kissing her as deeply as I could manage.

I couldn’t give her up. I couldn’t leave her. If we got married, Pops would have to accept our relationship. And she’d have to come to Boston with me and start her life over again. She could go back to school and do the things she’d wanted to do before Davis died.

Things would be the way they were supposed to be now and no one could change that.