Authors: Rilla Askew
Monday | February 18, 2008 | 8:45
A.M.
Bob Brown's farm | Cedar
T
he whole time I was walking out to the farm I kept wishing I had on my hoodie, but it was in Aunt Sweet's dirty clothes hamper with blood on it so I'd just put on two shirts. All yesterday's sun was gone, the sky was dark cloudy, turning cold. I've walked home from town a bunch of times, it's only like three miles, and then the gravel turnoff, but seemed to me like right then it was taking forever. I had to jump down in the bar ditch to hide every time I seen a car coming, and then I'd climb out and walk fast to try to keep warm. I reminded myself to get my feeding coat out of the hall closet before I go. Me and Grandpa don't feed anymore but we used to, or I used to. That used to be part of my chores, slop the pigs, feed the goats, throw scratch to the chickens, till Tipper and Anna killed the rooster last November, coming at it from both sides inside the chicken pen, with me yelling and running from the barn to stop them, which I couldn't. I wanted to hide that old bloody rooster but I knew that wouldn't do any good. My grandpa would just ask me what went with it, and I'd have to tell. Sure enough, when he got home and seen what the dogs done, he went right to the house for his .22. Once that starts, he said, they won't never quit, they're no use to anybody, and I said they're use to
me,
Tipper is. Grandpa looked at Tipper wagging her tail with her tongue out and Anna skulking in a wide half circle about as far away from Grandpa as she could getâshe knew she did a bad thing, but I don't think Tipper ever knew itâand then he looked at me real still a minute, turned, and carried the rifle back to the house.
He never once blessed me out for not shutting the gate properly, but the next Saturday morning he got me up early, told me to come help him, and we loaded the goats and the two brood sows in the trailer, lashed the chickens in their crates in the truck bed, and Grandpa called Anna and she jumped into the cab between us, and we took them all to the sale barn at Wister. We had to give Anna away to a kid from Summerfield because wouldn't nobody buy herâshe was too oldâbut we sold all the rest. Since then we been out of the farming business, but we still call our place the farm. That happened in November, a little before Thanksgiving, right around the time my grandpa started to change. Or
change
maybe isn't the right word. He was still like himself, only fierce.
Then, over Christmas is when Tipper disappeared. I was staying in town for Christmas break so I didn't know, but when Uncle Terry took me back to the farm, she wasn't in the yard to meet me. I whistled and called for her. I knew something was wrong by how Grandpa and Uncle Tee looked at each other. She'd went hunting on her own one night, Grandpa said, and never came home. We drove around the country roads and checked down in the creek bottoms, we even took a flashlight and went into the old coal mine back in the ridge behind our place, calling and calling, but we never found her.
Man, I was freezing. I tried walking faster. I ticked off the chores I needed to do before heading out to the cemetery: get the mail, check the propane tank gauge, fill the wood box, light the stove in the bathroom and leave the tap dripping in case it gets really cold. Haul off the trash. When I reached the gravel turnoff to our place, I looked in the mailbox. Nothing but an Alco flyer and this week's specials from Roy's Cardinal Food Store. I took out running, covered the half mile to the house in no time, but when I got to our yard, I stopped.
My aunt's house in town is kind of regular-looking and brick, but ours is real old. It sits where the first son of the original Robert John Brown built his own house after the Browns came here from Mississippi as illegal immigrantsâthat's what Grandpa says, or that's what he's been saying since Novemberâand it's got a peaked roof like a pyramid hat and a big porch and two front doors. There was yellow plastic tape crisscrossing both doors and the porch posts and windows. I could see black writing on the yellow plastic,
POLICE LINE, DO NOT CROSS
. I didn't know they did that. They must've did it after the sheriff put me in a headlock and wrestled me into his backseat for the ride to Aunt Sweet's house. I looked yonder at the barn. It was the same, yellow strips across the wide open barn door. Where's the truck? I thought. Grandpa always parks in front of the barn. I went around behind the house, but I didn't see the truck back there, either. Now how was I going to get to the cemetery? I'd never drove on actual roads yet, but I've been hauling trash to the gulley and driving to the mailbox since last year when I got tall enough to reach the pedals with only two cushions behind me. I figured that old dirt road to Brown's Prairie Cemetery wouldn't be any problem, but I couldn't get there without the truckâat least not quick enough to be to Aunt Sweet's house in time for supper. It's almost ten miles. I started feeling mad.
I stomped onto the porch and grabbed one of the yellow tapes covering the back door and tried to jerk it down but it just stretched, so I took out the Swiss Army knife I'd snuck away from my cousin who stole it from the preacher and cut the tape. I cut down every yellow tape at the back of the house, and then I went to the front and got all that and wadded it in a ball and took it to the burn barrel. Then I went to the barn. Our barn's pretty old, too, maybe even older than the house. Nobody uses that kind of barn around here anymore. They all got pole barns and steel sheds delivered on trucks and set up by the company. I had to reach up high where the tape was nailed to the outside wall, and I wadded that bunch, got the kerosene off the porch and poured it over the whole mess in the burn barrel, and then I went to the house for some matches.
I was standing at the kitchen window thinking how that yellow plastic might make a terrible smoke and some neighbor might see and drive over to check, and then they'd be wanting to know how come I wasn't in school and where was my grandpa and who smashed up my face and all kinds of questions I didn't feel like talking about, so I was thinking maybe I wouldn't light it but just haul it out to the trash ditch, when I seen something move inside the open square of the barn door. I eased over behind the kitchen door for the .22, and that's when I found out my grandpa's rifle was gone. Well, that made me even madder. They got no right to just take a person's gun, I thought, it's in the Constitution! I went to the window and looked at the barn door again. I didn't see anything now. Probably it was just the wind blowing an old feed sack, I told myself. I stepped real quiet onto the back porch.
Out past the smokehouse I could see Sugar in Mr. Herrington's pasture, grazing with her head down. That's when I got my next idea. I went down the steps and stopped at the woodpile and got me a stick of wood and walked on out to the barn, stood at the door and called, “Anybody here?” A stirred-up pigeon flapped across from one of the rafters. I waited awhile. I didn't hear nothing, so I ran in fast and jumped up on the stall and reached high on the wall for the old bridle. It was stuck or something, I had to use both hands and I jerked it a bunch of times and got it down finally and raced out the door. I didn't stop till I was back up on the porch. I had to drop the bridle to get my breath, it made a loud chink on the porch planks, and I stood doubled over with my hands on my knees. My heart was pounding like crazy. I'd lost my stick of wood. I watched the barn door some more. Nothing. All right, I said. Okay.
I went back inside the house for an apple. My grandpa buys 'em by the bagful at Roy's Cardinal Food Store in Wilburton on account of they're cheaper that way, but when I looked in the bottom drawer of the icebox, the bag of apples was gone. So were the potatoes and carrots. And then, when I got to looking, so was pretty much everything else, the milk and orange juice and cheese and baloney, even the jar of pickles. Alls that was left was the Arm & Hammer box and the tub of butter and the stuff in the door, pepper sauce and mustard and ketchup and jelly. Well, that made me maddest of all. They'd took my grandpa's gun and stole all our food and taped up our house! It wasn't right. I could see why my grandpa was getting so fierce about everything. Plus, it looked like they'd got his truck, too, because it wasn't here, it wasn't at Sweet's house, and Grandpa sure wasn't out someplace driving it around. And now with no apples, what was I going to use to catch Sugar? And then I thought, Well, how about sugar? She'd probably like that. So I grabbed the sugar bowl off the table and went out to the back fence.
When I whistled, she raised her head, and pretty soon here she came, trotting across the field. I climbed through the barbed wire and stood with the sugar bowl behind me because I didn't want her to know I didn't have any apples for her today. The reason I call her Sugar is on account of the white spots on her rump that look like sugar sprinkled on top of the rusty roan color because she's part Appaloosa, or that's what Grandpa says. I don't know what Mr. Herrington calls her. Him and my grandpa don't talk anymore. They had a fight about something Mr. Herrington said in church, and right after that's when me and Grandpa took our membership and started going around. That was like about three years ago, and now Mr. Herrington and Grandpa act like they don't see each other when they see each other, so I never heard what he named her. But I don't want you to think I had it in my mind to steal the neighbor's horse. I just wanted to borrow her to get to the cemetery to visit my mother, then I aimed to bring her right back.
Monday | February 18, 2008 | Morning
Brown's farm | Cedar
T
hrough a small hole in the barn wall Luis watches the boy. He tells himself he has no reason to be afraid because of a boy, but he is afraid. The boy is a lightskin, he has been beatenâhis eyes are bruised like raw liverâand he is too young to be alone. Someone will soon come to be with him. Maybe the same someone who hit him. Luis knows he should hide himself, he should crawl back inside the small space where he is safe, but the boy is trying to capture the red mare, and Luis cannot stop watching. His hands ache to touch the mare's neck, glide the bit between her teeth. He could bridle her so easy. How many years since he worked the horses? Many years now, since his youngest, Miguel, was very small. Luis watches the boy raise his palm to the mare's mouth, but the boy is not smooth and cunning with the bit, and the mare shies, trots away a little distance, stands shaking her head up and down. She turns her head to the boy, snorts once, a soft laugh, looks back across the pasture toward the line of trees. She is joking with him. She will wait for more sugar. The boy returns to the fence for the white bowl; he walks toward her again, talking softly, his hand open, the bridle in his other hand behind his back. The boy is not skillful but he is very patient. Again and again he tries to capture the mare.
A car is coming! No, a big truck. Luis recognizes the sound of diesel motor. Quickly he leaves the knothole, goes as fast as he can across the barn, crawls inside the wooden bin.
He lies very still, breathing hard. The truck door slams. A man is calling beside the house, the same word over and over:
¡Dus-tee! ¡Dus-tee!
Luis knows he is calling for the boy. He wishes the boy would come quickly so the man will go away. There are footsteps crunching the dry grass outside the barn, and then the man is inside the barn. The word is not so loud now, curled up on the end like a question.
¿Dustee?
The footsteps walk all around the floor of the barn, the dull thump of hard-heeled boots on soft wood, so near that Luis is afraid to turn his head to peer through the wooden slats, afraid to breathe hardly, afraid his thundering heart will betray him.
Luis closes his eyes, makes the sign of the cross with one finger, without moving his arm. But the man walks away, goes out of the barn, and Luis breathes again. Soon the word is coming from beside the fence where the boy tried to catch the mare.
¡Dus-tee!
Silence. The faint chink of the steel bridle, then silence again. Heavy bootsteps as the man walks quickly past the open barn door, and the loud motor starts, and then a great roar as the truck drives away.
After a long while Luis turns his head, peers through the slats, but all he can see is the splintery barn floor, soft with hay dust and bird droppings. His stomach groans. He is thirsty. But he tells himself that this time he will wait for the night. Only when no light shows between the slats, then will he climb out and go for food. He breathes slowly, deeply. Growing quiet. After a little while, he begins to pray.
Monday | February 18, 2008 | 9:55
A.M.
Latimer County Courthouse | Wilburton, Oklahoma
S
weet Kirkendall was not a person who ran late but here she was pulling up to the courthouse at almost ten o'clock. Dadgum Terry's hide, he was so dadgummed stubborn. She grabbed her purse from the floorboard and hurried in through the side door and up the stairs, her boots thunking on the tile steps; she slipped into the courtroom and sat on the nearest bench before she realized that nothing had started yet. The judge wasn't even here, or the D.A. or anybody, only a few family members scattered around the room. Sweet sat tapping her boots, digging in her purse for her Tums, glancing up at the wall clockâshe'd been hurrying so fast it was hard to stop. She considered going back out to the hall to see if the lawyer from Stipe's office was there.
Somehow, communicating through the not-real-smart girl at the answering service over the weekend, Sweet hadn't quite got it straight if the lawyer would meet her here today or if she was supposed to go to McAlester and give them a check first. Sweet's chest tightened with the familiar money dread. They were going to have to cash in Terry's retirement CD, she'd already figured that out. He was going to have a fit when she told himâbut it couldn't be helped! Where else were they going to get the money? She wasn't about to leave her daddy's fate in the hands of some Legal Aid lawyer! People in this state got sent to prison for decades on just the least little old drug charges, and the majority of them were represented by Legal Aid. Sweet had no idea how much worse her daddy's case was going to be, but she thought probably a lot. She bit her lip, started to stand up, but then several young men in orange coveralls started coming up the stairs, crowding her view through the glass doors, so she sat back down.
They filed in like a work gang, five skinny white boys in handcuffs and one Indian and Pastor Garcia, and her father at the end, trailed by a big deputy with a dark crew cut. In spite of how upset she was, Sweet felt a rush of pride. Sixty-four years old but he moved like a man half that age: small, tough-boned, his thinning hair combed back neatly over his bald spot. The light from the big windows reflected off his glasses. He didn't look at her, even though he had to know she was thereâhe walked by not six feet awayâbut followed the others into the row of seats to her right. The big deputy sat in the row behind them. Oh, it killed her to see her daddy in handcuffs. It just cut her to the quick. The assistant district attorney, a skinny guy with a huge Adam's apple who'd moved here from Arkansas, came in and sat at his table with his suit coat open, and in a moment the pretty ponytailed court reporter slipped in from the back, took her place next to the judge's benchâSweet had served on jury duty before, this part was familiarâand Mr. Cramer the court clerk called out, “All rise,” and Judge Yates entered. “You may be seated.” Everybody sat down.
The clerk started calling the cases. Turned out that the ones she'd thought were family members were here for court, tooâscraggly guys and their overweight girlfriends, a sullen-looking teenager with black chopped-off hair and black eyeliner and black tattoos on her neck, sitting with her grandparents. Each one came forward as the names were called: you are hereby charged with . . . public intoxication, driving without a seat belt, open container . . . Sweet barely listened. She was staring hard at her father, trying to will him to turn and look at her, but he kept his gaze straight ahead. She needed to talk to him. She needed to tell him about Dustin running off, and also tell him to quit talking crazy in publicâhe most assuredly
was
getting a lawyerâand also ask him what the blue blazes did he think he was doing. They'd barely spoken since Friday, just those short couple of minutes when he was allowed to make a phone callâwell, that hadn't turned out so good. Since then Sweet had phoned the jail a dozen times, but they wouldn't let her speak to him. “Visitation's on Sunday,” whoever answered always said. Probably they wouldn't let her talk to him today, either. Probably she shouldn't worry him about Dustin, at least no more than he was already worriedâexcept he didn't look all that worried. She didn't know what he looked like, actually, sitting there with his hands in his lap and those durned handcuffs on. Oh, Daddy, she thought.
It had been like pulling teeth to get Terry to go out to the farm to find Dustin. “How do you know that's where the kid went?” he'd said, rubbing his face at the table. They were fighting in the kitchen, trying to keep their voices down. She'd let Carl Albert stay home from school. “It's bound to be,” she'd whispered. “Where else would he go? He's just a little boy, Tee. What if something happens? What if he gets snake bit?” “Oh for crying out loud, it's February!” “Please, just drive out and take a look. I got to get ready to go to the arraignment.” “All right, all right!” He'd downed the rest of his coffee and stomped out the side door, and she'd hurried to the bedroom to give Mr. Bledsoe his eardrops. It was only after Terry left that she realized she didn't have anybody to stay with the old man except her son.
“State versus Jesus Garcia!” the clerk called out, pronouncing the name Jee-zus, not Hey-soos, and everybody jumped. The chunky pastor stood quietly in front of the bench while the clerk swore him in and Judge Yates read him the charges, but when the judge asked, “Do you understand the charges against you?,” Pastor Garcia made no answer. The judge repeated the question, and still he didn't answer, not even so much as to shake his head. “Mr. Garcia, do you have an attorney?” No answer. “Sir, do you understand English?” The judge looked out over the courtroom. “Does anybody here speak Spanish?”
Sweet raised her hand.
“You speak Spanish?”
“No, sir, I was just going toâ”
âtell him that Pastor Garcia understood English as well as she did, but the judge waved her off. “Does anybody here speak Spanish!” Nobody said anything. The judge, clearly exasperated, smacked his gavel. “Defendant is hereby remanded to custody until we can get a proper translator! Next case.” A little ripple went through the men in orange as Pastor Garcia returned and sat down.
“Case number CFO-3-5673, State versus Robert John Brown!”
Sweet watched her father march forward with his head high, shoulders squared: a small, compact man feeling the attention of the whole courtroom upon him. “Robert John Brown,” the judge said, “you are hereby charged with transporting, harboring, concealing, and sheltering undocumented aliens in furtherance of their illegal presence in the state of Oklahoma, a felony. You are further charged with interfering with a peace officer, drunk and disorderly conduct, and resisting arrest, all misdemeanors.” Drunk and disorderly, my foot, Sweet thought. Her father hadn't had a drink in thirty years. Her heart did a quiet flip. Had he? “Do you understand the charges against you?”
Her father stood mute.
“Mr. Brown, do you understand the charges?”
When her father still said nothing, Judge Yates looked at him real steady a moment, then he droned quickly through the rest of the business, with the court reporter frowning up at him, typing as fast as she could. When he got to the part that said, “Do you have an attorney?,” Sweet thrust up her hand. The judge acknowledged her with a chilly look.
“Your Honor, may I approach the bench?” She'd heard that on
Law and Order.
The judge nodded her forward. “He does have a lawyer, sir.”
“Where is he? Or she.”
“Well, we're getting him one.”
“And just when were you expecting this attorneyâ”
Right then the chorus of “Jesus, Take the Wheel” jingled into the room from inside Sweet's purse. “Shit,” Sweet said. She hurried back to her seat, but by the time she dug the phone out, it had quit ringing, and when she turned back to the judge, she thought, This is not good. Judge Yates's face had gone from stern to downright stony. She offered a small apologetic shrug, started across the courtroom toward him, but he stopped her with a look. Then the judge leaned forward and peered down at her father.
“Mr. Brown, how do you plead, Guilty or Not Guilty?” He repeated the question, waited just long enough for it to be clear that the defendant refused to answer before announcing for the record, “A plea of Not Guilty is hereby entered on behalf of the defendant. Preliminary hearing is set for Thursday, March sixth, at nine thirty. Please advise your attorney of the date, Mr. Brown. If you intend to petition the state to appoint an attorney for you, you'll have to have the application filed by Friday.” He turned to the D.A.'s table. “What's the State's recommendation concerning bail?”
The assistant district attorney shuffled some papers. He didn't look up. “Defendant has established ties to the community, Your Honor, no criminal record. State has no objection to his release on supervised recognizance.”
It took Sweet half a beat to understand, then she jumped to her feet with relief. They were going to let him go home! The judge glared her back down. Then he sat pulling his upper lip, peering at the assistant D.A., who still didn't raise his head. The guy's skinny throat bobbed as he swallowed. He looked actually uncomfortable. Sweet didn't know what that meant. At last the judge said, “Defendant is hereby released on his own recognizance with supervision. The clerk will draw up the papers. Mr. Brown, you may take your seat.” A rap of the gavel. “Next case.”
Her father stayed where he was.
“Have a seat, Mr. Brown. You can sign the release papers at the end of today's hearing.”
Her father remained standing before the bench, motionless, silent. Sweet couldn't tell anything from his back. A flurry of whispers swept the courtroom. Even the boys in orange sat up straighter, paid attention. “Mr. Brown,” the judge said, “if you don't return to your seat, I'll have the bailiff remove you.” No movement. “You're risking a contempt charge, sir.” Still nothing. Judge Yates whacked his gavel. “Robert John Brown, you are hereby charged with contempt of court. The fine will be five hundred dollars.” No response. “One thousand dollars!” Not even a flicker. “Two thousand dollars, and defendant will be remanded to custody until such time as he is willing to show respect for this court! Deputy!”
The deputy started to get up, but her father swiveled on his heel and walked back to his seat. Just before he sat down he turned his bright, proud gaze her direction, and immediately Sweet's heart sank. He wasn't going to do it. He wouldn't sign the papers, pay the fine, nothing. Not that her daddy had anything like two thousand dollars to pay a contempt fine with anywayâbut that wasn't even the point. The point was that, just exactly as Brother Oren had said, her father had no intention of getting out of jail. Sweet's phone started singing again, and she jumped up, squeezing her purse tight like a baby she wanted to hush, and hurried out of the courtroom.
Two missed calls, one from home, one from Terry's cell. She tried him back but the call went straight to voice mail. Sweet stood staring at the phone's face. Wait or try again? She and Tee could spend ten minutes trying to call each other back. Whichever one of them made the call was supposed to be the one to call again and the other was supposed to wait so they didn't just keep getting each other's voice mail, but half the time Terry didn't remember, and anyhow, she couldn't just sit here. She pushed the speed dial but got his voice mail again, then listened to the message, irritated as always by the fake-pleasant female voice:
You have one unheard voice message. First unheard message,
Terry's voice: “Hi babe, he's not out here, I checked every place, but there's something weird going on. Call me.”
If you would like to delete this message, press
â
Sweet flipped the phone closed, almost immediately opened it and called home. Her son answered with his mouth full and the Disney Channel blaring in the background. She'd forgotten to tell him he was grounded from TV. “Did Daddy get back?”
“Nope.”
“Did he call?”
“No. I'm hungry.”
“How's Mr. Bledsoe?”
“Fine.”
“What's he doing?”
“Sitting here. There's no peanut butter left. The milk's all gone.”
“I'll stop at the store. Listen, when Daddy gets homeâ”
“How about tacos?” Her son's voice ticked up in his
I'm-being-good-Mom
lilt.
Sweet hesitated. Yes, all right, she thought. She didn't have time to go grocery shopping now anyway. “Okay. Tell Daddy to call me.”
She tried Terry's cell again, no luck. She didn't know whether to be mad or worried. She had the feeling he'd quit looking and had gone on back to work, knowing him. Sweet glanced around the empty lobby, not sure what to do next. It didn't make sense to go back to the courtroom; the judge was mad enough, she wouldn't be helping things there. Go to the bank to see about cashing in their CD? What good would that do? She'd seen in her father's eyes that what Brother Oren had told her was true: Bob Brown had come to a conviction in his heart. When her daddy got convicted about something, well, there just wasn't any changing him. Witness his leaving the church three years ago without one word of explanation. He'd got a conviction about something there, too, and he'd been carting that boy to every you-name-it church all over three counties ever since. Sweet glanced at her watch. It was almost time for Mr. Bledsoe's pain medicine. All right. She'd go home and figure out the next step tomorrow.
She was halfway to the highway before she remembered the tacos and had to turn around and drive back to La Abuelita. The restaurant was right on Main Street, by far the most popular place to eat in the county, and always crowded, especially through the noon hour, but the empty parking places out front made her hopeful they wouldn't be too packed. She angled her Taurus nose-front to the high sidewalk, checked her wallet to make sure she had enough cash, but when she got out of the car she saw that something was wrong. The big plateglass windows were dark. The sign said
OPEN
, but the door was locked, and when she peered in a window she saw chairs stacked upside down on the tables.