Kindred (14 page)

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Authors: Adrianne Lemke

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BOOK: Kindred
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THIRTY-FIVE

Kindred

 

After the fight with the Tracker, I slept for almost twenty hours. When he made me lose control, it took a lot of energy to regain it and slip out of the police station unnoticed. I needed to take care of my paying job so that once I was done with the Tracker I could leave. I would find a different place to live, and possibly find a different way to make a living. That thought was a bit foreign. All I could remember was me making money by getting rid of people for Mason or after his death, for other people who would pay me. What could I do other than that? I was what Mason made me: an instrument of death. I couldn’t fight what I was.

Especially since I didn’t know what I had been.

My first step for the day was finding something to eat. I hadn’t eaten since before I’d gone after the Tracker yesterday. Once I took care of that, I decided to head to the hotel where I stored the stuff I needed for my current job. The route I took brought me close enough to the lady cop’s house that I could tell the Tracker was feeling very stressed. He was unhappy and nervous, and holding in those nerves in order to act like nothing was wrong. There was also a steel core of determination hiding under the anxiety, and I realized, once he reached that, I would have a hard time dealing with him.

He would not stand for much more, so I would have to back off for a little while and hope the determination was hidden once again. It would also have the added bonus of him not knowing what would happen next or when. And then, when I decided I was ready, I would strike.

THIRTY-SIX

Jason

 

Strangely, after the conversation with Dustin I felt much more relaxed. It may not last, but at least for now I didn’t want to think about anything negative. It would be nice to get away from the house and do something fun for once. Maybe I could convince Hannah to go to dinner with me. Or to do anything other than be in the house. I just needed to get out and do something. Dustin was still here, and it didn’t seem like he planned on going anywhere.

“Hey, you want to head to the park and play some ball?” I asked impulsively. I was feeling restless, and some physical activity was just what the doctor ordered. It had the added bonus of releasing the tension I still felt from the previous day’s events.

Dustin considered my request, eyeing me critically before smiling and nodding his agreement. “Sure. Sounds fun. Do you have shorts and a T-shirt I can borrow?”

It was an off-handed question. He hadn’t been looking to hit a nerve. Heck, he hadn’t even been looking at me when he’d asked. But I wouldn’t wear anything that showed the scars, so I didn’t own anything like that. Would he question me, or would he just accept the answer and move on? Maybe I could redirect. “I’ve got some sweats and a long-sleeve Tee. If you want, we can swing by your place so you can wear your own stuff,” I suggested, hoping my tone hid my discomfort.

There was a pause, and I felt myself tense in anticipation, but he just shrugged. “Sure. Just thought it would save us the time.”

A small sigh of relief escaped. “We’ve got all afternoon. Alice is at work, and Hannah and Sam are both at school. No pressing needs today.”

When I finally met his eyes, I figured out he’d caught my hesitation. He was trying to hide it, but his concern was clear in the way his smile didn’t quite reach his eyes, and the small glint of worry was almost enough to make me explain. However, I figured I’d talked enough for one day, and I wanted to have fun. “I’ll change real quick and join you outside. Okay?”

“Sure,” he agreed after a moment. I went to my room and changed into some light sweatpants, and a thin long-sleeved T-shirt. Both were black, but they weren’t a reflection on my mood, they just happened to be the only workout clothes I had. “Let’s go,” I said upon rejoining Dustin upstairs. I slipped on my shoes, and we walked out into the sunshine.

“You’re going to get really warm wearing that,” Dustin warned, causing me to tense. But instead of suggesting changing he added, “You should probably bring a couple extra water bottles along so you stay hydrated.”

A relieved smile crossed my face, but I hid it before turning back to him. “You’re right, thanks.” After going in to grab a few bottles, I came back out, as always sending bits of power into the ground to make sure we weren’t being followed.

“You feel anything?” Dustin glanced at me as we walked.

“Nothing unusual. Mr. Lewis is out walking his dog about a block away; Mrs. Lewis is watering her flowers. Steve next door is out walking around his yard, probably preparing to go for a swim in his pool. I’d think it was too early for swimming, but he’s pretty dedicated. Oh, and the mailman is out on his route.”

He looked at me, eyes wide in surprise. “You can feel all that? While you’re walking? Is there anything else?”

“Like I said; nothing unusual. I don’t feel any strangers on the block and no Kindred for once either.” If I was a tad less superstitious, I might actually say that we were about to have a crime-free afternoon. But I was worried that I might jinx us. “Let’s just try to enjoy this, okay?” I seemed to be spending a lot of time today hoping my very perceptive friend wouldn’t notice certain things, and now was no exception. This time, it was the faint hint of pleading that I was hoping he’d miss.

Unfortunately, I figured most of what I’d wanted him to overlook he’d noticed. On the bright side, his keen sense told him I didn’t want to deal with those emotions anymore for the day, so he let it slide. The small breaks in conversation told me he wasn’t going to let it go forever, but he allowed the reprieve for the day.

Instead of driving, we decided to walk the two miles to the park since it was such a nice day. I found myself relaxing even more as we walked and the warm breeze ruffled my hair. I was tempted to roll up my sleeves and really enjoy the warmth of the air and sunshine, but still felt to conscious of the scars. A day may come when I’d be able to show them, but now was not that day. The only concession I made was to pull the sleeves up to the edges of the scarring, which left only a few inches of my arm exposed. I could feel Dustin’s gaze on me and I wondered what he was thinking as he watched me.

“So, we gonna go one-on-one, or play horse?” I asked. I wasn’t really good at either, but both sounded okay right now.

“Why not both? We can use a game of horse to warm up for a little competition,” he suggested. We reached the park quickly and I felt around us for any suspicious activity before concentrating on the game.

“Are you going to do that all day?” Dustin asked.

“What?”

“You were checking for threats again, right?” he asked. I nodded. “You need to relax and have some fun. Let go of the worries.”

I stared at him incredulously. “Are you serious? I’m ready to have a little fun, sure, but I’m not going to be stupid about it. Do you really think we’re completely safe here playing basketball? Don’t you remember the last time we were here? We had to rush home because some of Mason’s men were coming to find us. I’m not going to get caught lying down again.” I bounced the ball to him. “Your shot.”

My point was made, and he looked like he was kicking himself for saying anything. “Sorry, I was a bit harsh. You only want what’s best, and I get that, so I’m sorry I snapped at you,” I apologized, not wanting him to feel bad.

“No. You were right,” he accepted. “I’m a bit naïve when it comes to this kind of thing. It’s only one of the reasons I don’t feel like I’m the right person to help you.” He dribbled and half-heartedly shot a simple lay-up. It went in easily and I caught the rebound.

I waited until my shot was through before I responded. “You’re the only person who can,” I informed him. “You weren’t around for most of it, so as much as you care now, you aren’t as emotional about what happened to me then. Alice and Hannah saw me at my worst. You’ve seen some of my bad days, but I had moments right after it happened when I almost took out their house because they startled me, or because I felt a stranger nearby that turned out to be one of the neighbors.”

“That’s why you know all the people in the neighborhood now? You went out and studied their footsteps and patterns?”

I shrugged self-consciously, missing my next shot, which Dustin put in easily. “That’s ‘h’ for you,” he said.

“I don’t like being surprised,” I admitted. “I’ve been working on my control, but I can sometimes feel it get away from me even now.”

He passed me the ball again and I said, “Do you realize how they would react if I told them half of what I’ve told you? Hannah is already almost always in tears because of me. I don’t want to make that worse.”

I put a little more effort into my next shot, sinking a three-pointer easily. “And I obviously can’t go to someone who doesn’t know about my abilities. Not that there are many of those anymore,” I grumbled. “But I don’t want to add to the list of people who know.”

“I understand,” he said, missing his next shot which gained him an ‘h’. “Like I said, I’ll do my best.”

“That’s all I can ask,” I said. The rest of the game was a little more competitive, and we stopped talking about my problems. We finally ended with me losing by two letters.

We took a short break to get a drink before we started our game of one-on-one, and I took the opportunity to do a thorough check of the area again. A small amount of my energy was devoted to feeling out threats even while we played, but I thought it might be more difficult while we were playing an actual game, so I sent my energy as far in every direction as I could, clearing the entire circumference for about two miles.

“Everything okay?”

“We’re still good for now. There are several people I don’t know, but they’re not actively coming toward us. You ready to play?”

“Sure.”

Conversation was almost non-existent as we rushed around the half-court, ignoring the guys who were playing on the other half except to get our ball from them if it got away from us and vice versa. We were both sweating and panting when we finally finished and when we went back to the bench to get a drink I realized that sometime during the game I pushed up my sleeves, revealing the ugly, thick scar tissue along both arms. The thin lines from my attempted suicide when I was a child, the round burn scars from the cigars Mason had put out on me, and some thicker scars along the tops of my arms from the knife Mason had been so fond of.

I stared at them, getting swept away in the memories and gasping at the remembered pain. Somehow, even throughout the flashback, I was aware of feeling stupid at my reaction. I hid the scars from others; there was no hiding them from myself. So why would I panic at the sight of them?

“Breathe Jason,” I heard, vaguely aware that Dustin was still with me. “Just calm down and breathe, you’re okay. You’re safe here.”

I clung to the calm in his voice and felt myself relaxing. “Hey, is he okay?” someone asked. “Do you need to call someone?”

“He’ll be fine. He just needs some air. Don’t worry, I’ve got him.”

I could feel the other guys backing away, but I knew their attention was still on me. Dustin maneuvered me so I was sitting in the bench with my head between my knees, my body shaking with remembered fear and pain. “Easy buddy,” he soothed, rubbing my shoulder as he leaned over me. I felt him sliding the sleeves back down over my arms and started to calm a little, my breaths getting more even, and my body relaxing a bit.

“I’m sorry,” I gasped, trying to sit up.

“No problem, just stay there and relax for a couple minutes. If you want, we can talk things out when we get you home.”

“No. I’m good. Just a flashback. It’s okay now.” I looked around, seeing the small crowd of people gathered around. “Can we go,” I asked quietly, ducking my head nervously. I hated being the center of attention.

He noticed my discomfort and raised his voice, “Show’s over people, he’s fine. Thanks for the concern.”

They disbursed slowly, and we left shortly after, once I felt solid enough to stand and walk. The walk back home was good for me and after the first couple blocks I didn’t need to rely on Dustin to keep me fully upright. “I feel so stupid,” I voiced my feelings from earlier. “My scars aren’t new to me, so why would I react like that at seeing them?”

“I can’t answer that for sure, but I suspect it has less to do with you seeing them, and more to do with the fact that they were exposed to others. Maybe it made it all seem more real again.”

“It’s never
not
real,” I said darkly.

THIRTY-SEVEN

Hannah

 

Going to coffee with my friends was just as fun and relaxing as advertised. It had been too long, a fact that they mentioned on many occasions, even as we joked around and talked about our classes and other friends. As my friend Rachel put it, “Since that hottie moved in, you’ve been MIA, girl!”

It was true of course, but not for the reasons my friends all thought. But I wouldn’t talk about Jason to them, which thankfully killed that portion of the conversation. Rachel had always been into the tortured bad-boy type, ever since I’d met her in high school. That’s what she saw when she looked at Jason. She also saw his soft dark hair, brown eyes, and leather jacket with biker boots. Both were acquired from thrift stores, but she didn’t know that.

She didn’t know that the so-called ‘tortured bad-boy’ had actually been tortured, both by his father, and by the bastard Mason. But that was not the point of our afternoon out. We were out to have fun, and getting coffee turned into dress shopping for the next school function. I shook myself out of the dark thoughts that crept in and spun in front of the mirror in the dressing room. The dress was just short of knee length, and had decorative swirls of brown and green over white. I owned some soft brown boots that would go very well with it. If I chose to buy it, that is. It was only one of three dresses I had in the room with me.

This felt unnatural. The thought struck as I was showing my friends the dress. My life became complicated when Jason was brought more firmly into it last fall. Shopping for dresses, something I used to enjoy, just didn’t hold the same appeal to me now. I chose the brown and green dress, and decided it was time to head home. The other girls waved, but Rachel gave me a knowing glance. What she thought she knew, I had no idea, but that didn’t stop me from giving her a little smile and a wave as I left.

When I got home, Jason greeted me with a smile too wide to be genuine, and an invitation to go out to supper with him. Dustin was still there, and he seemed worried. I couldn’t tell if something new happened, or if it was still fallout from yesterday. “I’d love to go to supper with you, Jason. Where’s Sam tonight?”

Dustin answered that one, Jason’s gaze dropped to the floor. “He asked if he could spend the night at Dan’s. I think he wanted some help with his homework and he figured it would be easier there.” My eyes met Jason’s as they flashed upward once again, and I saw a flicker of hurt go through them.

“All right.”—I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it, and I figured Jason would get over it before too long anyway—“Where do you want to go for dinner?”

He shrugged, the false smile gone. “Someplace nice, I think you deserve it.” His voice was serious, but his smile was now more genuine. “You put up with a lot from me, and I want to do something nice for you. I’m going to go change into something more appropriate,” he added, looking at his sweats and long-sleeved shirt that wouldn’t pass muster in any nice restaurant. He had some nicer clothes now, since he still worked with Alice, and he wasn’t responsible for Paul, Jeffrey, or Ginny anymore. That allowed him to set aside the money he usually used to keep them clothed and fed. He was very good at saving the little he was able to make.

Living with nothing for so long will do that. Now that he had the chance to earn and save, he was good at it.

He went down to his room to get ready, and I met Dustin’s eyes inquisitively.

“He had a flashback today. It kinda threw him off a bit, but he’s trying to get past it, in his own way. Sometimes, we need to let him do that. He needs to do something normal and relaxing. We tried basketball, which seemed to work for a little while.”

“Going out to eat isn’t normal for him,” I protested lightly. “He’s never dated.”

“Fine,” he agreed. “Not normal, but it’s a taste of what people with more ordinary lives do, and he deserves to have at least a little of that.”

My initial response was to agree, but I wondered if it would end up leading to him regretting his inability to have a so-called ‘normal’ life. “I’m not saying I won’t go, or that I won’t enjoy it,” I informed him, I could feel a blush rising. Of course I would enjoy spending some one-on-one time with Jason.

“I’m just wondering if it’s good to show him something that he, in all reality, cannot have. Because no matter how much he wants to be, he is not normal. And I wouldn’t change that for anything.” I left unsaid what was obvious to both of us. No, I wouldn’t change him, but I would have loved for his differences to not attract the criminals who would always want to hurt him, or use him for their own gain.

We heard footsteps coming up the basement stairs, and stopped talking. I gave Dustin a look as I headed to my room to change before Jason caught us talking about him. It wouldn’t be the best way to keep him trusting us.

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