King of Campus (27 page)

Lying in bed, I can’t seem to fall asleep.  Everything I learned about Roan tonight keeps churning in my head. Even though I’m tired, sleep still won’t come.  I’ve spent the last twenty minutes debating whether or not to shoot him a quick text.

He was unusually quiet when we parted ways outside my apartment.  I was thinking he might want to come in and talk some more but when I hinted around at it, he didn’t seem too interested.  And I kind of hated myself for the disappointment that surged through every cell of my being when we finally said good night before I quietly shut the door, leaving him alone on the other side.

I’ve composed about eight different text messages to him before erasing each and every one.  I mean, it’s not like we’re going out or anything.  I think it’s already been established that a relationship between us isn’t going to work.  But we are kind of friends…
right
?  And friends checkup on each other….  So, that being said, maybe I should just make sure he’s okay.

Grabbing the pillow from under my head with both hands, I yank it over my face before screaming into it.  I’m seriously starting to drive even myself crazy with this ridiculousness.  And it’s so unlike me, I almost can’t stand it.

After a few contemplative moments, I throw the pillow off my head before pouncing on the phone.  Before I can give myself too much time to think, because if I do, I’ll keep on waffling and drive myself mad, I quickly stab in the words.  Then I hit send before collapsing onto my bed and huffing out a great big breath of air.

Ridiculous.

I am acting totally
ridiculous
.

And I hate it.

This isn’t me.  I’m not one of these silly girls who obsesses about a boy or stalks them around campus.  Unfortunately, I seem to be doing a damn good impression of one.

When my phone doesn’t immediately ping with an incoming message, I nibble at my lower lip.  Well, what did I really expect?  It’s midnight.  He’s probably sleeping.  And I am acting like a total loser.

A Roan King groupie.

Ouch…

That stings.

Both my pride and my sensibilities.

Just as I grab my pillow from the floor where I’ve thrown it, my phone finally dings.  And yeah, I all but fall on it in my haste.

I’m fine.  Thanks for asking.

Is he really fine?  Does he want to talk for a while?  Do guys even like talking when something is bothering them?  I have no idea.  I don’t remember spending a lot of time with Finn talking about stuff.

But still, I can’t resist asking…

Do you want to talk?

One minute, then two slowly tick by.  When there’s no response after three angst filled minutes, I carefully set my phone back on the nightstand before rolling over and curling up into a ball.  Then I squeeze my eyes tightly shut hoping that sleep will finally come now that I’ve reached out to him.

A light knock on our apartment door has my eyes flying open and me jumping out of bed because I know it has to be Roan.  I mean, who the heck else would it be?  Racing to the door, I quickly yank it open.  And there he is on the other side, looking just as rumpled as I probably do.  Although Roan looks decidedly sexy in a pair of low slung athletic shorts and nothing else.

Nothing.

Else.

Cue the saliva.

I gulp as my eyes crawl over the wide expanse of his naked chest.

Holy hell but he’s gorgeous...

In much the same way I’ve just checked him out, his eyes skim over me and I’m suddenly reminded of the fact that I’m wearing a body hugging tank top and boy shorts panties.  A chill sweeps through me as my nipples harden into fine little points.  When his gaze slowly meanders its way back up to mine, heat fills my cheeks at his obvious perusal.

“Looking good, Ivy.  Thanks for the invite.”

Not knowing what else to say, I roll my eyes before grabbing his hand and dragging him into the apartment.  Quickly I bolt the door before we head straight back to my room.  As I pass by Lexie’s closed door, I can’t help but wonder what happened with the pregnancy test.  I’m sure they must have come out while I was gone, but the door was firmly closed when I returned from dinner and I didn’t want to disturb them.  I figure Lexie will tell me what happened when I see her tomorrow.

It’s softly that I close my bedroom door before turning to Roan who has already made himself comfortable on my bed.  He’s totally stretched out on my side of the mattress next to the nightstand table.  Even though it’s dark, with only moonlight to filter in through the window I still haven’t bothered to buy a shade for, I cock a brow.

“When I said-
do you want to talk
, it wasn’t code for-
do you want to have sex
.”  Because if that’s what he thinks is going to be happening, then I’ll be kicking him out on his ass.

Unfazed by my sharp tone, he chuckles before patting the sheets next to him.  “Jesus Christ, Ivy, I’m not interested in boning you.”

Oh...  My brows draw together as I wrap my mind around those words.  “You’re not?”

He laughs softly at my confusion.  “Alright, allow me to rephrase that- I’m not interested in boning you
tonight
.  Tomorrow we can go back to me wanting to get you naked.”

Snorting, I hesitantly make my way towards the bed.  And a very sexy Roan who’s lying on it.  “That is so damn romantic.  You just make my heart go pitter patter all day long.”

Since he doesn’t seem to be moving from what is technically
my spot
, I have to crawl over him to get to the other side.  His big hands graze the sides of my body before finding my hips.  When I’m practically straddling him, he holds me firmly in place so I can’t move.

“Is that what you want, Ivy?”  His words are decidedly husky and my belly hollows out in response.  “Romance?”

My mouth instantly dries at the notion.  There’s no way in hell I’d ever be able to resist him if he were to turn on that kind of charm.  I would be putty in his hands.  Even though it’s dark, his turquoise eyes are still piercing. They skewer me in place, making it difficult to breathe.

When I don’t say anything in response, his grip finally slackens, allowing me to scamper over him to the other side.  Now that I’m here, I’m not quite sure how to position myself.  My bed is a double and when I’m in it all by myself, it’s plenty big.  With Roan filling it, it feels teeny tiny.

So I scooch over as far as I can.  Just as I get settled so that no part of me is touching him, and I’m all but pressed up against the wall, Roan slides an arm around my body before hauling me against him and holding me there.

After a few moments, he whispers, “Relax.”

“I’m totally relaxed,” I squeak, feeling anything but.  My body is as rigid as a two by four.

“Yeah, you feel completely relaxed,” he chuckles, “I came here to talk.  Nothing more.  Okay?”

Hearing those words has my stiff-as-a-board body slowly unlocking before cautiously molding itself to his muscular frame.  After a few minutes of adjustment, I find myself turned completely towards him, aligned with every hard part of his body.  With his arm still wrapped around me, my head slowly lowers to rest against the solidness of chest.  Releasing a slow breath, my hand finally settles over his heart.

“Comfortable?”  Again there’s a huskiness woven through the melodic tone of his voice that has something hot sliding its way through me.

“Yeah.”  I’m so relaxed I probably won’t want to move ever again.  He feels so damn good.  I probably shouldn’t be enjoying this as much as I am.  Even though I’m all but dying to run my hand over his broad chest and tight abs, I don’t.  It’s been a really long time since I’ve been this close to someone.  And I miss it.  Miss the intimacy of it.

“Good.”  He pauses before adding quietly, “Thanks for inviting me over.”

Even though darkness swirls around us making it hard to see, I can’t help but glance up at his face trying to read his expression.  He tips it down towards me.  “You were really quiet on the ride home.  I was worried,” I finally admit.

Turning his face from mine, he stares up at the ceiling for a long moment before saying, “Yeah.  Sorry about laying all that on you.”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.”  I’m not going to lie, I like that he trusts me enough to share the private details of his life with me.  I get the feeling he doesn’t trust many people and I’m absurdly flattered that, for some reason, I’m one of them.

He doesn’t immediately fill the silence between us but that doesn’t matter.  What we have right now feels easy and comfortable.

“I like you, Ivy.”

His words have my breath hitching and my heart pounding.  It’s thickly that I whisper, “I… I like you, too.”

After another quiet moment, he admits, “I feel like I can actually talk to you.”

“You can tell me anything.  I’ll keep your secrets.”  Saying the words out loud feels important.  Necessary.  I’ve learned things about Roan tonight that no one else knows and I would never betray that trust.  No matter what happens between us.  Whether we stay friends or we become more.  Or we stop talking altogether.  I won’t betray him.  That’s not who I am and I’m really hoping he realizes that.

Slowly he tilts his head towards me and even though I can’t see his eyes very well, I know they’re trained on me.  I feel the burning intensity of them.  “I wouldn’t be here with you right now if I didn’t know that.”

Something feeling suspiciously close to happiness bursts within me like an overinflated balloon.

His arm tightens, pulling me just a bit closer to his muscular body.  “You know,” he finally whispers, “I’ve never done this before.”

Unsure what he means by the comment, I ask, “Done what?”

“Cuddled in bed with someone and just talked.”

I guess that shouldn’t surprise me.  He might’ve had sex with a ton of girls but that’s not really being intimate.  Lying in bed with someone, opening up, sharing the pieces of yourself that actually matter,
that’s
true intimacy.  Screwing someone is just that… screwing.

He shakes his head.  “I like it.  It’s… nice.”

“It is.”  I can’t believe just how comfortable I feel with him.  And I like knowing he feels the same way.

Softly he admits, “I knew right away you were different.”

“Different?”  I’m not sure how to take that.

“Different in a good way,” he assures me.  “I’ve never felt like you just wanted a piece of me.  Or that you’re with me because I can do something for you.”

“I can’t imagine what that feels like.”

I really can’t.  I suppose, on a very small scale, it’s like when the photos were posted online and suddenly I was inundated with friend requests on Facebook.  Or random people were calling my cell or saying hi to me on the way to class.  I didn’t really know any of them but suddenly they all wanted to befriend me because they thought I was close to Roan.

How could you ever let your guard down if that was your life all the time?  How would you know if someone genuinely cared about you or was just using you?  That would really suck.  And it would make it all but impossible to start up a relationship.

It has me wondering if Roan has anyone in his life he can actually trust.

“It can be difficult.  You don’t make a lot of new friends.  Not good ones unless they’re in the same situation as you are.  And you keep the ones you have close and hope they don’t end up letting you down.”  Then, surprising me, he starts chuckling.  “I still can’t believe you tried dumping me as your partner.”

Biting my lip, I stifle the soft giggles that are trying to escape.  I’m still embarrassed about that.  “Hey, I’ve already apologized.  I just assumed you would be some meathead jock and I’d get stuck doing the entire project myself.”  I peek up at him before adding quietly, “Obviously I don’t think that anymore.”

He sounds oddly contented when he finally says, “Good.”

Lying against him like this, I want nothing more than to touch him, to smooth my fingers over his skin.  To learn the map of his muscular body.  Unable to resist, I finally allow my shaking fingers to lightly stroke their way over the wide expanse of his chest.  In the thick silence of my room, I hear his breath catch as I slowly continue meandering my way over the hard powerful contours of him.

Even though I’m in absolute heaven, I whisper into the darkness, “Do you want me to stop?”

He shakes his head just once.  It’s almost as if he’s holding his breath, not daring to suck in any oxygen.  Only when my fingers flutter over one hardened nipple does a low groan escape.

My teeth sink into my bottom lip as my fingers continue dancing over him.  Roan is so hard and chiseled.  I bet his entire body is completely and utterly beautiful. As tempted as I am to explore further and find out first hand, I know it would be a mistake.

I want to mean more than some middle of the night hook up.  A no-strings attached, easy lay.  As difficult as it is, I still my fingers over his rigidly held abs. When I don’t move them, his hand rises to gently cover mine.

For just a few moments we lay there silently, our bodies entwined.