Kinkade, Lea - I Got a Feelin' [The Chisholms of Texas 2] (Siren Publishing Classic) (16 page)

“I want to, Ryan. God, you don’t know how much I want this. What I feel for you is so much more than what I felt for Brandon or J.T. It scares me how much I love you.” He barely caught her last words as she ended on a whisper.

There it was. She had finally admitted it. She loved him. Ryan wasn’t going to let her backpedal now. He had pulled her this far kicking and screaming.

“You tell me what you need, darlin’. I’ll play this any way you need. I’m ready to marry you, if that’s what you need from me. We can live together, if that’s what you need. We can keep going like we have been. Whatever you need to trust that I am in this for the long haul, that’s what we will do. Tell me what you need from me.”

She looked into his eyes, searching for something. He didn’t know what exactly she was looking for, but he made sure the love he felt for her was shining from his eyes. Visibly gathering her courage, she told him what she needed.

“I don’t think I am ready to get married yet, but I don’t want to just keep going as we have been. Why don’t you move in here with me?” She was speaking so softly he barely heard her. She was obviously not used to telling people what she needed. Hell, nobody had probably asked her what she wanted or needed in her entire life.

“Darlin’, I’d love to live with you, but this place is kind of small for two people. What if we found a new place together?” When she didn’t dismiss the idea out of hand, he decided to go for broke. “Or, we could live here while my house is being built out at the Ranch. Maybe by the time the house is ready to move in, you would be ready to get engaged?”

He could tell he might have pushed her too far, and he backpedaled quickly. “I know you would feel better living on your own turf, but it makes sense for us to live on the Ranch after we’re married. My parents have given each of us kids fifty acres, and my land is beautiful. It would be the perfect place for our dream house.”

He could still see doubt in her eyes as he continued to make his case. “Look. You don’t need the rental income from this apartment, right? It’s okay with me if you keep the apartment here and ready for you if that’s what you need. I don’t want you to ever feel like you have nowhere of your own to go again. I know that having a place of your own is kind of like a security blanket for you. I am okay with that for now. I hope, in time, that you’ll come to see that you don’t need it. I’m willing to put the time and effort in to prove it to you. What do you say?”

* * * *

She loved him even more for understanding her need for security and independence. Could she do it? Could she take the chance when every other time she had put her heart on the line she had gotten hurt? Did she even want to open herself to the possibility of more heartache?

Who was she kidding? It was already too late. Ryan already held her heart in his hands. She loved him. She either had to let him go now or jump into this thing with both feet.

Knowing how much she loved him, she knew she had to let go of past hurts or risk repeating them over and over. Ryan had never done anything to hurt her. He understood her need to have a place of her own. She needed to give him a sign that she trusted him not to hurt her.

“I say, ‘I love you,’ Ryan Chisholm. I want to live here with you until your house is done, then I’ll keep this place empty for a while. Thank you for understanding about that.” She went to him and put her arms around his waist, resting her forehead on his shoulder.

“
Our
house,” he corrected her softly as he wrapped his arms around her tightly. She pulled back with a look of confusion on her face. “You said we could live here until
my
house is done. It’s
our
house. Just wanted to clear that up.”

“Oh, okay.
Our
house. I like the sound of that, handsome.” Leaning into his body, she held him tight, her hands kneading the muscles in the small of his back. They stood in the middle of the bedroom floor just holding each other for several minutes.

Finally, Samantha raised her head and looked into his eyes again. “Ryan, would you do something for me?”

“Anything, darlin’. Name it.”

“Will you make love to me?”

“With pleasure.” He gave her a sexy smile as his hands went to the tie on her robe, slowly undoing the knot. She let her arms drop down to her sides. He took hold of each side of the robe and pulled it off her shoulders, letting it slide down her arms and pool at her feet. Her nipples were hard as diamonds.

Her robe pooled at her feet as she moved her hands to the zipper on his jeans. He’d never fastened the button, and he was commando. She could see the bulge of his erection pressing against his zipper. She slowly lowered the zipper, laughing when he put his hands to his hips and quickly pulled his jeans down, kicking them off next to her robe.

Ryan took her back in his arms and slanted his head down for a deep kiss. His mouth made love to hers. Gently nudging her lips open with his tongue, he played with hers, his tongue sweeping into her mouth in a scorching-hot kiss.

He slowly maneuvered her so the back of her knees touched the side of the bed and he bumped her onto the mattress. Seeing the heat in his glittering, green eyes, she used her heels to slide her body into the middle of the bed as she parted her thighs to receive him.

Climbing onto the bed, he held himself over her as his mouth took hers in another devastating kiss. He leaned on one arm as his hands found her erect nipples and he palmed her gorgeous tits. His mouth left hers as he nibbled and kissed his way down to her chin, down her neck, and over her collarbone. When his mouth found one of her tender nipples, she gasped at the sensation. He continued to make love to her as he tongued and palmed her breasts, causing moisture to pool in her hot pussy. It pulsed in need. He was driving her crazy with his touch.

Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, his mouth and hands left her breasts and began to travel farther down her body. As he kissed and tongued his way down her belly and to the top of her mound, Samantha moaned in need.

“What do you need, darlin’? Tell me.”

“Your mouth.”

“My mouth? Where do you want it, darlin’? Here?” He rolled his tongue into her belly button, teasing her with light flicks in and out.

“No. Lower.” She was getting desperate for him to touch her the way she wanted him to.

“Lower? Like here?” He kissed her mound right above her slit.

“No. Lower.” She knew he was teasing her.

“Lower, huh?” He moved his mouth to her thighs and kissed each one. “There, darlin’?”

“No, damn it. You know where. Go back up.” She could hear the desperation in her voice.

Laughing, he took pity on her. “Okay. Okay. Here, darlin’?” His mouth landed on her creaming pussy. He kissed her mound and let his tongue lap up some of the moisture gathering between those tender, engorged lips.

“Yessssss.” It was pure bliss. His tongue was magic.

He took his mouth away and she moaned in frustration. “Just wanted to make sure I finally got the right spot, darlin’. Was that it?”

“Yes, damn it. Get back down there.”

“Your wish.” His voice was teasing, but his mouth returned to her sweltering pussy so she decided not to call him on it. He continued to lick her juices up, sucking her clit every few strokes as her hips began to move in urgent rhythm to the flicker of his very skilled tongue. She could feel the muscles in her thighs tightening as her body fought the orgasm that was almost upon her.

He concentrated all his efforts on her clit, and she began to moan loudly as her fingers clutched his raven-black hair to her body. She arched her hips up off the bed and let out a loud groan as a red-hot orgasm enveloped her body with pleasure. He continued to lave her clit as she rode the orgasm through the little sparks that kept running through her limp body.

“Was that the spot, darlin’?” Oh, he was so going to get his.

“Oh, God, was it ever. Your tongue is very talented. Why don’t you bring your cock up to the same place so we can see how talented that appendage is?”

Kissing his way back up her body, he returned to her lips and stroked her tongue again with his own. She could taste herself on his tongue and reveled in the knowledge that he loved her. Spreading her thighs wide open in invitation, she smiled as he settled his big body between them. She could feel his cock nudging against the entrance of her pussy, and she bucked her hips in invitation.

Bracing himself above her body, he pushed his hardened length into her pussy in a long, slow slide. Both of them moaned at the pleasure they felt as his throbbing cock stroked into her slick pussy. He moved his hips in a gentle motion while she encircled them with her legs and pulled his body to hers more forcefully. Taking her hint, his thrusts got deeper as he tunneled into her cunt again and again. The head of his cock nudged her cervix with every thrust into her body and he brushed her sweet spot every time he pulled out. Samantha’s fingernails dug into his biceps as the pleasure built inside her.

Samantha could feel another orgasm building deep in her bones as her muscles tightened up like a tightly coiled spring, centering at her pussy. Every thrust tightened the spring more as he continued to thrust in and out of her body. Finally, one more stroke and the spring tightened unbearably with a pleasure that was almost painful in its intensity. Samantha cried out his name as Ryan pounded into her again, shouting out his own release. He ground his hips into hers as he buried his cock deep inside her pussy, feeling it jerk over and over as it sent his seed deep into her body. Still inside her, Ryan rolled their bodies so that she was draped over him, their legs tangled together. After a long, languid kiss, she rested her cheek on his chest and they drifted off to sleep, his sated cock resting deep in her pussy.

Chapter 12

Samantha was the happiest she had ever been in her life. Ryan had moved in all of his clothes the day after Christmas. He had also moved a few of his other personal things in but said the rest could wait until they moved into their house. Although Samantha had to admit that he was right that the apartment was a little small for the both of them, she liked seeing his things mixed with her own, having his shaving gel on the side of the sink and his toothbrush hanging next to her own. She loved finding room for the few family pictures he had brought with him.

What she liked most about Ryan living at the apartment was the intimacy that they shared. Sure, they’d been close while they were dating, but the unadulterated intimacy they shared living together was something Samantha had never felt before. They shared every aspect of their lives with each other. The good, the bad, and the ugly. Foul moods, illness, work problems, and family issues were just a few of the trials that they faced together. None of it could shake the foundation of their relationship.

The builder broke ground on their house just after the New Year. Ryan had hired an architect who created plans for a house that, to Samantha, looked like way more house than they would need. They both liked the Craftsman-style house that Xander and Jordan had, but they had the architect create a floor plan that fit their style and chose different colors for the exterior.

“Why in the world would we need six bedrooms plus a master bath? It’s excessive.” They’d been going around and around this issue for several days.

“We need to plan for the future, darlin’. We don’t want to have to add on after the babies start coming.”

“Ryan, I am not having six children. You don’t really want six children, do you?” Surely he was just messing with her. Sure, he had seven siblings, but he didn’t want that many kids, did he?

“Why not? I’m used to it. It was great having so many brothers and sisters. Most of the time. I’d love to have as many ankle biters as you can handle. What number were you thinking about?”

“Uhm. One or two?”

“One or two? Darlin’, that’s not even enough for a good game of hide-and-seek. We need at least six.”

“Six? How are we going to handle six children? We both work.”

“My folks both worked, too. That didn’t stop them. They had eight. We’ve got plenty of family to help out. We can always put them in daycare in Deseo, and we’d be able to drop in on them during the day since we both work in town. We don’t have to work it all out right now. We’re still practicing.”

“I think this is an important discussion for us to have. You know, so there aren’t any outlandish expectations. How about three?”

“Five, darlin’. That’s my lucky number.”

“Four.”

“Darlin’…”

“Four for sure and we’ll discuss five after we’ve got the four. Final offer. Take it or leave it.”

“I’ll take it,” he said with a laugh. “That means we need six bedrooms and the master. We need a guest room just in case. Now that we’ve agreed on that, let’s talk about the master bathroom with the sunken whirlpool tub. It’s got to be big enough for two.” Samantha rolled her eyes at his smirk. She could see she wasn’t going to win too many arguments with this handsome man.

After some initial hesitation, Samantha agreed to work with a decorator that Ryan hired to help her decorate the new house. Ryan had told her he knew she was busy at work and he didn’t want to saddle her with the whole job, so he hired Amber Moore, the interior designer that had helped Jordan redecorate her and Xander’s house after they got married. Amber could give Samantha ideas about different products to pick, but Ryan made it clear to the decorator that this was Samantha’s house and she had the final say.