Kismet: A Serendipity Novella (8 page)

She’d meant to be honest. Just not that
honest.

An angry muscle twitched in Trevor’s
jaw.

“I didn’t mean to upset you.” She was making
a mess of a night that meant a lot to him.

“You didn’t upset me. That asshole you
married did.” Trevor took a minute to breathe and let go of the
rage simmering inside him.

No matter how opulent the apartment, he and
Lissa came from the same world. He’d had the same insecurities,
probably more so as he’d had to navigate alone. She had him by her
side.

“I’m sorry Brad made you feel inadequate in
any way. You are spectacular and the people upstairs will know it
the second they lay eyes on you. Because they’re real and nothing
like the Bankses of the world.” Speech finished, Trevor cupped his
hand around her cheek and pulled her in for a kiss.

One light enough not to ruin the makeup
she’d obviously spent so much time applying, but one sincere enough
to make his point. “Do you believe me?” he asked.

Eyes wide, she merely nodded.

He hoped she meant it because he sure as
hell had. “Ready?” he asked her.

“Ready,” she said, her voice hoarse.

Trevor nodded. “Good.”

The night went better than Trevor could have
hoped. Alex and Emma clearly liked Lissa and made her feel at home,
as did their small group of guests. By the time ten o’clock rolled
around, Trevor was ready to get her out of there and be alone with
her, when Alex waylaid him.

Together they walked to a private corner.
“She’s something special,” Alex said.

Trevor inclined his head. “That much I
know.”

“But? I sensed tension from her earlier
tonight.”

Trevor nodded. Alex had always been
perceptive. It was why he’d done so well in business. He was good
at reading people. “She doesn’t think she belongs here,” he said,
frowning at the notion.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Did anyone say
something to make her think that?” he asked angrily.

“No. It goes back a long time,” Trevor said,
not wanting to divulge Lissa’s personal insecurities. “She thinks
we live in different worlds now.”

“I see.” Alex nodded knowingly. “She does
have a valid point.”

Narrowing his gaze, Trevor glared at his
friend. “What exactly does that mean?”

“Breathe, boy.” Alex laughed and gestured
toward a passing waiter to bring them each a drink. “Serendipity
isn’t exactly Manhattan. Can you blame her for feeling a little out
of place? I’m sure she’ll adjust in time.”

“Only if she wants to.”

“You both have to want to,” Alex said.

Before Trevor could respond, the waiter
returned with two glasses on his tray. “Scotch on the rocks,” he
said.

Trevor accepted a glass, as did Alex. “Thank
you.” The waiter nodded and walked away.

“They’re hitting it off,” Alex said, his
gaze drifting toward the corner of the room where Emma had pulled
Lissa away for a private chat.

Trevor was grateful the other woman was
making an effort at helping Lissa feel more comfortable, but he
didn’t plan on leaving her alone for too long.

As always, Alex’s gaze softened as he looked
at his wife. The man, a shark in the boardroom, was a marshmallow
at home. “Relationships are a two-way street, you know.”

“I’m trying,” Trevor said. Hell, he was
doing his damndest to convince her they could make a go of it.
“It’s only been two days ...” His voice trailed off, knowing time
didn’t mean a damned thing. They’d known each other for too
long.

“But there are ten years to get over,” Alex
said. “Not to mention a lot’s happened in that time. You’ve been a
confirmed bachelor, while she’s a mother.”

As always, the reminder felt like a physical
punch in Trevor’s gut. “I know.”

“Do you?” Alex asked, putting a hand on
Trevor’s shoulder in a fatherly gesture.

“What are you saying?” Trevor asked.

“Just this. Before you ask her for anything,
make sure you can handle her life and everything that comes with
it. It’s not fair of you to ask her to let you into her life unless
you’re sure you want all of her, including her child.”

His stomach cramped and he suddenly felt the
weight of responsibility he hadn’t thought of before. “We haven’t
discussed it,” Trevor said.

“And you haven’t given it much thought
because you’ve spent the weekend in bed,” Alex said, guessing
correctly.

Trevor broke into a sweat. He wasn’t sure
whether to thank Alex for making him face the truth, or to deck him
for bringing it up.

“One thing is for sure—no matter how you
come by them, children are a lifetime responsibility and when
they’re stepchildren, so are their biological parents,” Alex said.
“Now, I know I’ve given you a lot to think about. Let’s go join the
women.”

With a new weight on his shoulders, Trevor
followed Alex over to Lissa, suddenly panicked, knowing he couldn’t
possibly jump into the idea of being her daughter’s father
overnight.

Alex was right. Either Trevor was all in or
he bailed before either of them got hurt.

And deep down, he feared it was too late for
that.

*

Trevor was silent on the way home. Too
silent, and Lissa couldn’t help but fear his thoughts. For the last
two days, she’d been telling herself this weekend was all they
had—but inside, she couldn’t deny there was a flicker of hope. She
wanted more, and he’d done his best to indicate that he did,
too.

But ever since he’d returned from talking to
Alex earlier, Trevor had been more withdrawn. “Would you mind if we
went back to my hotel room?” she asked, knowing that even if they
spent tonight together, it would be easier on her if he left in the
morning. That way she could just fall apart instead of having to be
the one to walk away.

“Sure.” He sat by her side in the town car,
but unlike their last few rides, he kept his hands to himself.

Another bad sign.

She fingered her small bag, her nerves
getting the best of her until finally the driver pulled to a stop
in front of the hotel. A doorman immediately stepped up and opened
the car door, then stood back and waited.

Lissa exhaled a long breath and turned to
face him. “Thank you for taking me with you tonight. It was a
pleasure to spend time with Alex and Emma, since they both mean so
much to you.”

The evening had also filled out her article
in immeasurable ways, but she wasn’t in the mood to bring up
business.

He smiled at that. “When I was younger, they
helped me feel welcome, Alex in business and Emma on the social
side.”

She nodded in understanding, then reached
for his hand. “Trev, I’m so glad we had this time together.” It was
more than she’d ever dreamed of and less than she wished for deep
inside.

“Does this mean you’re not inviting me up?”
he asked, his voice gruff.

She swallowed hard. “I wasn’t sure you’d
want to come.”

His blue eyes darkened. “I probably
shouldn’t, but I’m selfish enough to want more. I want tonight,” he
said, his voice hoarse.

Oh, he was definitely preparing for the end,
she thought. A far cry from the man who’d faced her earlier. But
she wasn’t ready to ask questions she didn’t want the answers to
yet. So, though she knew she’d hate herself for prolonging things,
she met his gaze and nodded.

“I want that, too.” She slid out of the car
before she could change her mind, and held out a hand, indicating
he should come, too.

The next few hours were the most beautiful
and the most painful of Lissa’s life. Trevor held her hand as they
made their way upstairs to her hotel room and locked the door
behind them.

He undressed her slowly, taking his time
because they had all night. What they didn’t have was a lifetime,
and that was the only thing that would satisfy the yearning inside
her. Still, she wanted these last moments and she made sure to
recall each and every one. His strong, tanned hands gliding over
her skin, his dark hair as he bent over her, his mouth taking her
breast and suckling and teasing, torturing her until her need was
so great, she thought she’d come from that alone.

He worked his way down her body, making love
to her with his tongue, worshipping her in the way only a man
could, replacing memories of them at seventeen with those of a
night stolen out of time. One that belonged to them alone.

And by the time he lifted his body over
hers, poised for entry, she’d already come more times than she
could count, yet she still hadn’t had enough of him. She never
would.

With his gaze fused to hers, he nudged at
her opening and slowly eased his way inside, making sure she felt
every last inch, every ridge, every thick hard part of him. Only
when he thrust home, so deep she knew he was touching more parts of
her than he’d ever reached before, did he lose control.

“Lissa.” Her name a groan, he pulled out and
thrust back in, her own moisture creating a slick haven for him to
pound in and out of her, bringing her up higher and higher.

She tried her best to hold back her
emotions, to take the ride and just feel everything inside her and
process later, but the tidal wave of feelings he created was too
great.

“Trevor.” His name came out on a sob,
triggering his release.

He didn’t hold back either, murmuring words
of love and caring, words she absorbed into her heart and her soul,
sensing this was the last time she’d hear them out loud.

And as he took over her body, coming inside
her, he carried her up and over with him. Stars exploded around
her, inside her, shattering her heart in the process.

When their breathing slowed and he pulled
out, separating their bodies, he curled himself around her and held
her tight. Neither said a word, Lissa holding back sobs but letting
the tears fall. And later still, when hours passed, he’d made love
to her one more time before she fell into a fitful sleep.

Lissa awoke to the feel of him sliding away
from her and out of bed just as the sun began to creep through the
window.

She knew her options. She’d weighed them
each time she woke in his arms during the night—remain silent,
pretend to be asleep, and avoid a painful goodbye; or get up and
fight for what she wanted.

She’d spent yesterday telling herself it was
better for them to separate now, but the more she thought about it,
the more she had to ask herself why. Fate had brought them back
together at a time when they had no obstacles in their way, unless
they put them there. This time there was no pregnancy and no other
man.

True, Lissa had a child, but why couldn’t
Trevor get to know Livvy and accept her as Lissa’s little girl, and
eventually as his own? Many men accepted other men’s children. Even
with their intertwined past, they should be able to do this.

She owed it to herself to at least reach for
what she wanted. Heart pounding, Lissa pulled herself to a sitting
position in bed, lifting the sheet to cover her naked body. “Trev?”
she asked softly.

He turned. The only light in the room came
from the sun filtering through the drapery. “I didn’t mean to wake
you,” he said.

“Were you going to just slip out without
saying goodbye?” She brushed her tangled hair off her face.

“I would’ve left a note.” He sounded as
sheepish as he ought to feel, Lissa thought.

“Don’t go yet.” She patted the space beside
her, but he remained standing and shook his head.

“I thought ... I think we should make this
as easy on ourselves as possible.”

She raised her eyebrows. “Says the man who
insisted this wasn’t closure? That if it hurt, it meant there was
still something between us?” she asked, throwing his own words back
in his face. “I admit I’m the one who was ready to throw us away,
but I was wrong. What changed on your end?” she asked, hating how
her voice trembled. But she had to know what happened.

“I thought about what you said yesterday.
About the things that separated us. And I thought about something
Alex said.”

Uh-oh
. Lissa’s heart began to thud
against her chest in a painful beat. “And what was that?”

Trevor reached for his slacks, pulling them
on before speaking. “He brought up more things than just the
distance between New York and Serendipity and the disparity in our
lifestyles. He said I shouldn’t push you for anything until I was
sure I could accept everything your life involves.”

And in that moment, Lissa knew exactly what
Alex had said. “You aren’t sure you could accept Brad’s child as
your own,” she said dully, the pain hurting so much more than she
could have planned for.

He spread his hands in front of him, as he
so obviously searched for the words to explain. “It’s more than
that. It’s whether I’m ready to be a father. To be honest, I gave
up that dream when I lost you. I dove into college, work, and
making a life for myself.”

Lissa nodded slowly, digesting his words,
believing part, dismissing the rest. “Let’s be clear, okay? This
has nothing to do with whether or not you want to be a father.
Whether you can adjust your bachelor life. This is about me having
Brad’s baby and you having to face that every time you look at my
daughter.”

Her jerked as if she’d struck him, but to
his credit, he pulled himself together.

He rolled his shoulders back and met her
gaze. “I don’t know. Maybe that is it. But could you blame me?” he
asked, his voice rising. “Could you really blame me for having a
tough time with it?” He sucked in a breath, then muttered a low
curse. “Shit. I didn’t mean it that way.”

He sure as hell had, Lissa thought. She
closed her eyes and only when she was sure she could speak calmly
did she look him dead in the eye. “Not only did you mean it, but I
have an answer to your question. Yeah, I sure as hell
can
blame you. Not before yesterday, but after. After you looked me in
the eye and told me we weren’t over. Now this?” She shook her head,
devastated beyond words. “Just go,” she said, wanting to him to
leave so she could be alone when she cried.