Kiss and Tell

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Authors: Fiona Walker

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BOOK: Kiss and Tell
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Fiona Walker
lives in Worcestershire with her partner and two children plus an assortment of horses and dogs. Visit Fiona’s website at
www.fionawalker.com

Also by Fiona Walker

French Relations

Kiss Chase

Well Groomed

Snap Happy

Between Males

Lucy Talk

Lots of Love

Tongue in Cheek

Four Play

Love Hunt

Copyright

Published by Hachette Digital

ISBN: 978-0-748-12116-8

All characters and events in this publication, other than those clearly in the public domain, are fictitious and any resemblance to real persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

Copyright © 2011 Fiona Walker

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher.

Hachette Digital
Little, Brown Book Group
100 Victoria Embankment
London, EC4Y 0DY

www.hachette.co.uk

For the Horseman with whom I ride night and day;
with all my love.

Contents

Also by Fiona Walker

Copyright

Introduction

Cast List

Prologue

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Chapter 28

Chapter 29

Chapter 30

Chapter 31

Chapter 32

Chapter 33

Chapter 34

Chapter 35

Chapter 36

Chapter 37

Chapter 38

Chapter 39

Chapter 40

Chapter 41

Chapter 42

Chapter 43

Chapter 44

Chapter 45

Chapter 46

Chapter 47

Chapter 48

Chapter 49

Chapter 50

Chapter 51

Chapter 52

Chapter 53

Chapter 54

Chapter 55

Chapter 56

Chapter 57

Chapter 58

Chapter 59

Chapter 60

Chapter 61

Chapter 62

Chapter 63

Chapter 64

Chapter 65

Chapter 66

Chapter 67

Chapter 68

Chapter 69

Chapter 70

Chapter 71

Chapter 72

Chapter 73

Chapter 74

Chapter 75

Chapter 76

Chapter 77

Chapter 78

Chapter 79

Chapter 80

Chapter 81

Chapter 82

Chapter 83

Chapter 84

Chapter 85

Chapter 86

Chapter 87

Chapter 88

Chapter 89

Chapter 90

Epilogue

Introduction

Eventful Lives – and Dirty Weekends

You have to be an optimist to want to gallop half a ton of super-fit horse over fences shaped like saw-mills, shotgun cartridges, boats, animals and houses. Brave, tough and incredibly upbeat, the event rider is a breed apart and quite the sexiest of all horsemen and women which, in a very sexy pastime indeed, makes them irresistible …

Eventing is an equestrian sport originating from the cavalry
Militaire
, and is now hugely popular worldwide. Comprising three disciplines – dressage, cross-country and show-jumping – eventing is the definitive test of both horse and rider, requiring immense stamina, skill, versatility, finesse, dedication and, above all, guts. On a competitive level, riding across country is one of the greatest adrenalin fixes known to man, woman and horse; on a social level, it’s like attending a country house party every weekend with your closest chums all around you, gaining access to the most stunning estates in the country and partying in the park every night.

By day, combinations are set three tasks to show their supremacy, like knights and their steeds at a medieval tournament. First they must perform a courtly dance, gymnastic floor exercises set out in a precise pattern, leaping and twirling exactly on the allotted marks and lines while judges all around narrow their eyes and look for faults; this is dressage. Then they must run a gruelling assault course within a given time, leaping huge obstacles, crossing gullies and risking life and limb; that’s the cross-country phase. Finally, exhausted now, they enter a gladiatorial arena filled with flimsy jumps to vault over accurately while the clock ticks down – the show-jumping phase. The prize money in eventing may vary dramatically – at some competitions winning barely covering fuel costs, at others the victor gets many tens of thousands – but glory is always magnificent, and the perks are sublime.

Governed by British Eventing in the UK and the FEI (Fédération Equestre Internationale) internationally, affiliated horse trials are graded in difficulty from entry level (BE90 and BE100), through novice and intermediate to advanced. A CIC (Concours International Combiné) is a one- or two-day event ranging from one star (novice) to three star (advanced), and the stages are run as dressage, show-jumping and then finally cross-country. A CCI (Concours Complet International) is a three day event also of one, two and three stars, with the exclusive additional four-star level being the most difficult; the phases are run on successive days in the order of dressage, then cross-country, with show-jumping last. In actual fact, dressage often runs over two days, thus making it a four-day event, but that’s typical of eventers, who always give that little bit extra.

Despite a reputation for upper-class elitism, it’s a refreshingly egalitarian sport in which men and women of all ages compete equally on horses of unique bravery and talent, in which princes and paupers ride side by side, where intense rivalries are matched by lifelong friendships, camaraderie and old-fashioned sportsmanship that’s rare in the modern world. Set against idyllic backdrops of grand country houses, ancient parkland and rich farmland, sunshine and mud, tight breeches and loose morals, dogs and wellies, toffs, farmers and tradesmen, silver spoons and shoestrings, horsepower and four-wheel drives, it’s the ultimate countryside fix at home and abroad with competitions held all over Europe, the States, Canada, Australasia and beyond.

Here, it’s as British as a Range Rover full of black Labradors, a Pimm’s picnic on a checked blanket and sunshine and rain in June, with gung-ho galore and plenty of naughtiness behind the scenes …

The UK horse trials season runs from March until October, with some international trials and special events taking place year round. Many event riders and their grooms spend much of the competitive season on the road, with their horseboxes acting as second homes, some luxuriously complete with wet rooms, flat-screen televisions, king-sized beds in slide-out pods and even wine coolers. Others offer little more than a sleeping bag on straw bales. Horses are often stalled at events in temporary stabling, much like a military encampment, harking back to the sport’s beginnings, although with up-to-date security and state-of-the-art care.

Despite its traditional roots, eventing is a thoroughly modern sport, employing a vast array of groundbreaking expertise, research and ever-more stringent rules. As in any high-risk sport, like skiing or motor racing, fatalities are regrettably inevitable, and much has been changed by the governing bodies to increase safety, from breakable cross-country fences to the introduction of inflatable body protectors for riders. Everything possible is done to make it safe, but nothing can take away from the sheer thrill of riding at speed across solid timber on a super-fit horse that can also perform a balletic dressage test and jump an obedient round over coloured poles.

Event riders have a reputation for living fast, partying hard and making merry, along with their owners, supporters and trials organisers. The horses can be pretty badly behaved too – but what else can one expect from a sport that demands that extra red-blooded sparkle of genius?

Cast List

Hugo and Tash Beauchamp
– the eventing world’s premier couple, based at Haydown in West Berkshire with their young family

Alicia Beauchamp
– Hugo’s mother, living on gin and Rothmans in the Dower House

Beccy Sergeant
– Tash’s stepsister, an inveterate drifter, just back from finding herself

James and Henrietta French
– Tash’s golf and gardening mad father and stepmother, enjoying retirement in Surrey

Em and Tim
– Henrietta’s older daughter and her husband, living with many young children and much stress in South London

Faith Brakespear
– a talented young dressage rider

Anke and Graham Brakespear
– Faith’s mother, a former Olympic rider turned bookshop owner and her haulier husband, living in the pretty Cotswolds village of Oddlode

Magnus and Dilly
– Faith’s brother and his girlfriend, rising musicians now living in Hackney

Chad
– Faith’s little brother, going through a permanent difficult phase

Kurt and Graeme
– Faith’s ‘gayfathers’, the dressage world’s premier couple, living in Essex

Fearghal Moore
– Faith’s birth father, an Irish horse dealer based in County Mayo

Ingmar Olensen
– Faith’s batty maternal grandfather

Rory Midwinter
– pewter-eyed young event rider and hell-raiser, proprietor of Overlodes Equestrian Centre

Truffle Dacre-Hopkinson
– his dilettante mother, currently between husbands

Diana and Amos Gates
– Rory’s sister and her husband, custodians of the Gunning Estate

Spurs and Ellen Belling
– Rory’s cousin and his wife, busy making babies

Nell Cottrell
– scourge of the young Lodes set, mother to baby Gigi, now dating Dillon Rafferty

Milo
– Nell’s long-term lover, impossibly married to his wife and career in Amsterdam

Pete and Indigo Rafferty
– the music industry’s legendary Rockfather and his young model wife, who is addicted to adopting orphans

Dillon Rafferty
– Pete’s son, a singer-songwriter turned Cotswolds organic farmer, currently enjoying a hugely successful comeback. Owns several event horses

Pom and Berry
– Dillon’s daughters, who live with ex-wife Fawn Johnston in the States

Jules
– a long-standing music industry friend, Sapphic muse and horse lover

Sylva Frost
– self-publicising pop-singing WAG turned Britain’s favourite single mum, constantly reinventing her fame

Koloman and Hain
– her two young sons

Mama Szubiak
– Sylva’s super-ambitious Slovak mother

Hana and Zuzi
– Sylva’s halfsister and her daughter

Rodney Dunnet
– long-suffering producer of Sylva’s reality TV show

Lough Strachan
– sexy New Zealand event rider, known as the Devil on Horseback

Lemon
– his head groom, a jokey failed jockey

Alexandra and Pascal d’Eblouir, Polly
– Tash’s mother, her French husband and their daughter, living in bohemian decrepitude between Paris and the Loire Valley

Sophia and Ben Meredith, Lottie, Josh and Henry
– Tash’s ex-model sister and her husband, the Earl of Malvern, and their family

Matty and Sally French, Tom, Tor and Linus
– Tash’s older brother, an earnest documentary maker, his bubbly wife and their children

The Vs
– The Beauchamps’ uncommunicative Czech au pairs, Vasilly and Veruschka

Jenny
– the Beauchamps’ cheerful head girl

Franny
– Hugo’s irascible former groom

The Bells and the Carrolls
– the Haydown tenant farmers

Alf Vanner
– Haydown’s woodland manager

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