Kiss Me on the Inside (14 page)

“Only if it's not what I expect it to be.”

Keisha fought with all her might. Her energy was low. She couldn't prevent Johnny from entering her and he tackled her body like a wild animal. She fantasized about Bling coming to save her. Her fantasy didn't come to reality because Bling couldn't hear her cry. He couldn't feel her pain. He didn't and he couldn't. She couldn't move. Her brain wouldn't signal to her legs to move because she was lost in disbelief.

Johnny got to his climax and laid his body lifelessly on top of her. She felt his heart pounding like a drum. “You need to start doing your Kegel exercises. Woman, thou art loose,” he said, rolling off of her. Her body felt paralyzed. Even though the ordeal was over she lay there in disbelief.

Johnny fixed himself and took out his wallet, tossing a dollar bill at her. He left her crying on the floor. The door slammed shut behind Johnny and Keisha jumped at the sound. Her body quivered on the floor as she cried like a baby.

 

 

Hours had passed and she remained in the same spot. She finally got herself together and tried to get up, holding on to the wall for support, but her legs got weak and she fell to the floor. She dragged herself to the bathroom where she saw her reflection in the mirror. She took a step back and looked at the person she didn't recognized. Her hair resembled a bird's nest and her face was stained with two lines indicating where her tears had traveled down her face while crying. Her eyes were swollen and her face was bruised from his abuse. Tears slowly trickled down her face as she relived the ordeal she had endured. She made a loud scream like a wounded animal. He had violated her. She turned the shower on to its full force, letting the water beat her skin as she tried to wash him off her body.

After her long, hot shower that seemed like forever, she climbed into bed, but she couldn't rest peacefully. Every time she closed her eyes the flashback of Johnny raping her made her cringed. She sobbed into her pillow uncontrollably.

Keisha wasn't going to let Johnny get away with raping her. He had to pay for what he did and she wanted him to pay with his life. She remembered that she had her cell phone in her purse. She ran to the living room and saw her purse on the couch. She hastily opened her purse but her phone battery was dead. The phone met the wrath of Keisha when it landed into the wall and the battery flew across the room. “You will pay for this! You will pay for this!”

She dropped herself onto the floor, pulling her knees into her chest, cuddling herself for comfort. She was alone and vulnerable. She wanted Bling to rescue her. She wanted to be loved by him. Behind the tough girl image she had perfected all she really wanted was to be kissed on the inside.

Keisha didn't and couldn't fall asleep. Her eyes were getting heavy but she feared closing them because the ordeal of Johnny raping her would come rushing back clear as day. The doorbell chimed and she rocked herself back and forth, blocking out the disturbance of the never-ending chimes.

The house phone started to ring and she covered her ears. “Leave me alone. Leave me alone!” The machine picked up.

“I know you said you were tired last night but I'm hoping you would let me in this morning. I just want to talk for a few before I go to the studio. I'm at the door; let me in.”

She started to hum, still cuddling herself.

“Come on, Keisha, open the door! Let me know if you are okay. You better be because I would kill anybody if they hurt my queen.”

Keisha's eyes opened wide. Hype had said exactly what she wanted to hear. She was thinking of a way to eliminate Johnny and Hype was the perfect man for the job. She ran to the door and held him tight. He had to take a step back to balance himself.

“You can't let him get away with this.” She repeated those words over and over as she sobbed on his arm.

Hype was confused as to what she was talking about until he raised her head and he saw her face. “Who did this to you?”

She spared him the details of Johnny raping her because she didn't want him to view her any differently, like she was damaged goods. She filled him in on how he abused her because he was obsessed. She wanted him dead and just the mere fact that he had hurt her was reason enough for him to go after Johnny.

“I'm going to kill him. Look what he did to you. Where can I find him?”

“42 Wood Lawn Avenue.” Hype was about to walk away but Keisha stopped him. “I have a picture of him on my phone.” She went to the bedroom and retrieved her charger and plugged it in. She scanned through her pictures, shielding the phone from Hype. “Here he is.” She showed the picture to Hype without letting him get a hold of her phone. She did want him to scan through it and see her picture with Bling.

It was a picture of him with his arms around Tina. Hype sealed the image of Johnny in him memory and hastily walked to the door. “Be careful!” Keisha ran behind him. Hype kissed her forehead and left. If Hype couldn't do the job she was going to do it herself. It wouldn't be a hard task to get Johnny. All she had to do was convince him that she enjoyed him so much she wanted more and he would come running. Then she would cut his dick off and watch him bleed to death.

Keisha went from room to room cleaning and organizing. She tried to keep herself busy so she wouldn't think about last night.

Several hours elapsed and Hype hadn't called. She wanted to know what had happened. She stared at the clock, and seconds turned into minutes, and minutes into hours. The kitchen, bathroom, bedrooms, and every crevice and corner were spotless. Her closet was the next place she organized. Her walk-in closet was like a department store itself. Keisha rearranged her colors from dark to light. Her eyes were tired and she was about to fall asleep standing but she was trying desperately to keep them open.

Ding-dong. The doorbell startled her. She ran to the door and looked out the peephole and saw that it was Hype standing there. “What took you so long?” She pulled him inside.

“It took me awhile to locate him; besides, I had to do the job right.”

She showered him with barrage of questions. “Did you wear gloves? Did you leave any evidence behind? Did anyone see you?” She didn't stop for him to answer the first or second question before asking another.

He placed his finger on her lips. “The murder would be an unsolved mystery. That's all I have to say.”

 

 

For two weeks Keisha put herself under house arrest, cutting off the outside world, including Bling. She didn't want to show that her beauty was now disfigured from a rapist gone mad because beauty to her was on the outside. She had summoned Hype to run her errands, so he had now become a frequent guest. They had developed a closer bond in her time of need. But still Bling was in her every thought. To avoid Bling coming around she told him she had left town on a job assignment. She needed Hype at the moment to do her dirty work, nothing more, nothing less.

Her head was rested in Hype's lap when breaking news flashed on the flat-screen seventy-two-inch TV. The news reporter's makeup was overdone. Even her lipstick wasn't the right shade for her.

“A man was found dead in a Dumpster by a homeless man searching for food early this morning. The identity of the man is unknown and with his head, fingers, toes, and genitalia missing he will remain unidentified unless the killer comes forward.”

She knew it was Johnny because Hype had told her how he begged for his life as he slowly cut off his body parts. She excitedly pounced on Hype, showing her gratitude.

“He didn't deserve to live after what he did to you. You are my queen and no one should treat you less.”

Feeling inspired to write his music Hype anxiously departed to meet up with his label mates at the studio. Feeling justified in her action, showing no remorse or grief, she celebrated with a glass of her favorite red wine with a toast to Johnny.

“And I will be at your funeral to spit on your damn grave.”

Nikki threw up her scrambled eggs and orange juice she had for breakfast. She thought she had a stomach virus and didn't bother to second-guess herself the first few mornings it happened. But this morning right on time as she finished her breakfast her guts were coming up.
I can't be pregnant.

Nikki remembered when she was unpacking her feminine products there was a pregnancy test that she undoubtedly knew belonged to Keisha. Nikki ran to the linen closet and rummaged through her box of sanitary items.
Bingo!
She ran back to the bathroom, leaving the linen closet door open. She quickly peed on the stick, wetting her hand in the process. She didn't read the instructions; she just knew she had to pee on it.

“Was I supposed to soak it like this?” Nikki wrapped the dripping stick in some tissue and placed it on the sink. She washed her hands, eyeing the test. The minute couldn't come fast enough. Nikki paced back and forth, now holding the test in her hand. The positive sign appeared and she was flabbergasted at the result, dropping the test on the floor. Her scream echoed throughout the house. “This can't be happening.” Nikki was now hyperventilating. Tears ran down her face because she knew deep down she wasn't ready for this.

“No. No!” She pounded the door with her fist. After several minutes she gathered herself, walking out the bathroom to retrieve her cell phone. She hadn't spoken to Mark since the incident but this was reason enough to call him. Mark answered his phone. Nikki was on the verge of tears. “I need you to come by the house now.”

“I'll be there in a minute,” Mark replied without hesitation.

“This can't be happening! This can't be happening.”

Within minutes Mark was at the door. “Nikki, where are you?” he called out as he entered. “I'm glad you came to your senses and realize you need me in your life.”

Nikki came out to meet him and he walked over quickly to embrace her. “Why are you crying? I honestly didn't mean to hurt you. You have to believe me. I didn't know that it was her.”

Mark hugged her and Nikki sobbed in his arms. “I promise I'll make it up to you. Look at me.” He held her up to view her face.

“Mark, I'm pregnant!”

He quickly released his grip, placing his hand on his head. “You can't be. Aren't you suppose to be on the damn pill?” Mark scratched his head.

“Yes, but I missed a few last month.”

“How could you be so damn careless?”

His reaction threw her off. The words that were coming out of his mouth weren't what she expected to hear. “Careless?” Nikki repeated.

“What do you intend to do?” he asked, walking away from her.

“We have to get married,” she declared. “I can't have a baby out of wedlock. I can't have a child and not be married. It just can't happen.”

“What are you talking about, marriage?” He turned to face her. “You can't keep this baby. You need to make an appointment for an abortion.”

Nikki's five fingers were printed on his face before he could say another word. Nikki was stunned at his response. She knew that she wasn't ready for a baby. But it was disturbing to know that he wanted her to abort her child.

“You females are always trying to trap a man. I'm not ready for a baby and that's my final word.”

“Get out! Get the hell out of my apartment.”

Mark left the house, slamming the door behind him. Nikki fell to the floor, sobbing.

For months Nikki was living in a bubble, overjoyed and in love. She was blinded by the idea of love and all the amenities that came with it. Her life revolved around Mark. She believed in his every word like it was her daily bread. No logical thinking was coming from her brain. The only things she uttered were, “Mark said this,” and “Mark said that.” It's like she was brainwashed. The man who stood before her and told her to have an abortion was someone she didn't know.

Today was the day Keisha would take her life back. Johnny was dead and she was no longer going to let the bruises he put on her face keep her home. Besides, today was his funeral and she was going to show her last respects. Johnny's mother had identified the body after recognizing his clothes. “My son was harmless. He didn't hurt a soul. Who would do this to my boy?” she'd hollered on the news.

“Your precious boy hurt this woman and that was a big mistake, big mistake!” Keisha shouted at the TV, hoping the old woman would hear her.

Her M•A•C makeup applied heavily covered her bruised face. The cherry red Chanel pantsuit in the back of her closet had been waiting for the right occasion and the time was now. She was going to bring some fire to his funeral. She got to the door but detoured to get the dress that she had on the night Johnny had raped her. She was planning on leaving it on his casket at the church after she spit on it. As she put the dress in the black garbage bag she was fueled with anger and rage as she power-walked to the front door. Hype made it his priority to fix the lock and she double-checked, making sure she closed it behind her.

She unlocked her car and gracefully entered. She reversed out her driveway but quickly jammed on her brakes to avoid hitting a dog. She got to the parking lot of the New Testament Church of God in less than ten minutes, and as usual it was packed with cars.
What a joke. Johnny only went to church to steal from the damn offering plate.
Keisha remembered the exact words he said to her.
I just want to get closer to the offering plate; church is where the money is. Do you see the car the pastor is driving? I see people playing the lotto but church is where I'm going to hit the jackpot.

Keisha decided to double park and blocked Pastor Blake Bentley. He wasn't going anywhere soon and besides she wasn't staying long. When she entered the church two ushers looked at her with a dirty frown. “Are you aware that you do not wear red to a funeral?” one lady said as the other looked her up and down.

Keisha paused with her hands on her hips. “Well, this is a party for me. I'm celebrating the fact that he's dead.”

The ladies gasped. Keisha walked right by them. Pastor Blake was preaching about the importance of repentance. Keisha walked up the aisle, listening to whispers and sighs as she passed each row of seats. The pastor stopped in midsentence, trying to figure out who this lady was. “This is a funeral precession, young lady. If you need prayer I'll meet with you after the service.”

Keisha ignored him as she untied the knot in the trash bag. She spread the dress over the casket then spit on it. “Go to hell. You bastard!”

You could hear the loud gasp from the mourners. “Get her out of here!” A woman in a wide-brim black hat, also wearing all black cover from head-to-toe, sitting in the front seat jumped to her feet. “My boy was a loving man. He doesn't deserve to be disrespected!”

Keisha faced the elderly woman. “Your loving son raped me! He deserved to die!”

The woman slapped Keisha's face and she held her burning cheek. Keisha turned and spat on the coffin again. And once again the mourners gasped. “I hope the devil rides him like a horse in hell!”

“Get this woman out of this church!” Pastor Blake yelled. A few family members and ushers rushed to get her out of the church.

“Don't touch me! I know my way out.”

They followed her until she exited the church. Keisha made it a point of duty to leave a dent in the pastor's Bentley.