Kiss of Fire (St. James Family) (38 page)

“I'm going to kill the next motherfucker that touches me," she announced brightly to Toni as they rounded a corner. Toni smiled and couldn't resist the urge to run her hand over the baby bump.

"I can sense the young heir is already learning a distrust of the upper class," she said, straight-faced.

"Auntie's obviously got a death wish," Nat cooed to her belly. Toni snagged a flute of champagne from a passing waiter, which didn't go unnoticed.

"Just because you can't drink doesn't mean I shouldn't."

"I didn't say anything," Nat said innocently, then scoured the room for the millionth time that night. "Where the hell is that man? If he found a way out of this, I will murder him in his sleep."

"This baby is gonna be the death of someone, apparently," Toni said with a smile, taking a sip. Then Nat's arm relaxed and she let out a small puff of air. Toni glanced up. Christophe had just entered the foyer, looking as dapper as ever in a black suit. His eyes swept the room efficiently, only stopping as he spotted them. He moved through the crowd, greeting people as they passed him, but with a singular focus on his wife. Nat reached for him and he pulled her close, whispering in her ear. Toni turned away, giving them privacy. Her eyes wandered around the room, and she downed the rest of her champagne. As she looked from rich face to rich face, she could only think about O'Donovan. She was what he said she was, she supposed. She was part of this crowd now, at least for the night.

“I'll be back,” she murmured, even though Nat and Christophe weren't paying attention. She went in search of another drink, weaving her way across the massive living room. When she reached the doorway, she froze. Time seemed to slow, and she resisted the urge to scream. O'Donovan stood there, in an gray suit. He'd been watching her, she realized. How long had he been standing there? She could feel her sister's eyes on her back, from across the room, but she still couldn't move or talk. She was frozen like a damn mannequin.

Christophe,
she realized her eyes widening. He did this! Her muscles finally sparked to life and she whirled around. She threw out an accusing finger at her brother-in-law, who had the nerve to not look sorry. Nat was beside him, watching, her poker face firmly in place. She was on her own, Toni realized. Her sister was on O'Donovan's side, too. The jerks had set her up!

Fuming, she did the only thing she could
—she ran. She turned on her heel and maneuvered through the crowd, putting as much distance between herself and O'Donovan as she could. Her heart was racing, the shock of seeing him still reverberating down her spine. How dare he? How dare he show up at Nat's birthday party, like they were friends? How dare he show up in a tailored suit that emphasized his broad shoulders and dark hair? He looked just as good as he always had. And he hadn't shaved either, which annoyed her even more.

Hot damn.

But there was no way she was letting him near her. Bad things happened when he touched her. Bad things happened when he looked at her. She started thinking about letting him off the hook for hurting her. Started thinking that it wasn't such a big deal that he left her for someone else and had every intention of marrying Brigid until she dumped his sorry ass. The same sorry, sexy ass that was weaving his way through the crowd, heading straight for her. She ducked into a wood paneled hallway and tried the doorknobs until she found an open door. She closed herself into a dark office, thick with the smell of cigar smoke and peppermint. A single Tiffany lamp shone on the big heavy wood desk. She stood by the door, waiting. Sure enough, the knob turned and she barely had enough time to grab it before it was opening. O'Donovan's boot wedged in the door and she shoved all of her weight into it, trying to keep it from opening.

“
Go away!” she hissed.

“
Let me in,” he said.

“
No!”

“
I'm not in the mood, lovely,” he said, and his tone sent shivers up her spine. She took a deep breath and a step back, letting the door swing open. She backed up, perching her ass against the desk, crossing her arms like she didn't have a care in the world. O'Donovan walked in, closing the door behind him. The room suddenly felt smaller. More confined.

“
Say whatever it is you came here to say,” she said. “Then leave.” She still couldn't quite believe he was there with her, but she didn't want to betray any weakness. He kept his distance, giving her space, pacing back and forth. Her mind drifted back to the last time she saw him, in the hallway of her apartment building, his hand up her skirt. A chill went through her, and she cursed her body for being so damn weak. The man had her in the palm of his hand, and he didn't deserve it. Not one bit.

He dug in his back pocket and pulled out a crumbled white envelope. “Open it,” he said, holding it out to her. She hesitated then took it, opening and pulling out the letter inside. Her eyes skimmed over the words and she looked up at him, a question on her face.

“What's this?”

“
It's my transfer to Manhattan. They're promoting me to Lieutenant.”

“
But... you love Queens. Why would you want to transfer?”

“
For you,” he said, simply. “And for me.” Toni refolded the letter and stuffed it back in the envelope. She held the envelope back to him and he took it, tucking it back in his pocket. “Don't go,” he said, finally. “Don't go to Seattle. Stay here.”

“
Stay here for what? For you?” Toni asked, hearing the shake in her voice.

“
Yes. For me.”

“
No,” Toni said, swallowing hard. He snorted out a humorless laugh.

“
Why not?”

“
Because.”

“
I fucked up, but you have to stop punishing me,” he said, and then he was moving across the room toward her. She stood up straight, her whole body tensing up.

“
Punishing you?” She heard her voice rising, but there was nothing she could do to stop herself. “Is that what you think is happening here?”

“
Knowing that you're so close but not being able to touch you, that's punishment. Not having you in my bed every night, that's punishment. Not hearing your voice, that's punishment. How much more do I have to take?”

“
You left me, remember?” She finally forced herself to look at him. He was staring at her intensely, his eyes flicking between her lips and her eyes.

“
It was the biggest fucking mistake of my life,” he said, his voice low. “How many times do I have to say it?”

“
You don't really want me,” she said, her body drawn to his. The space between them was closing by the second, and she couldn't stop herself from wanting to touch him.

“
I want you,” he whispered. “Believe me.” He grabbed her, pulling her close, dropping his head to her shoulder. She took in a shaky breath, feeling his heart beating against hers. She kept her hands at her sides, not knowing what would happen if she touched him. She'd probably never be able to let him go. He pressed a kiss to her collarbone, and she shivered. His hands slid around her waist and up her back. His hands felt so good. Warm and smooth and
right
. So right.

“
You hurt me,” she said, her throat tight. Getting the words out was painful; all of the emotions of the past months were welling up in her throat. “I hate how much you hurt me.”

“
I know, baby,” he said, his lips trailing up her throat to her jaw. “I thought I could ignore my feelings for you and they would go away. I thought I could control myself.” He paused, he brushing his lips against hers. “Gwen and Brigid left me because I didn't love them. They knew that they deserved more. Now I know it, too, because I love you.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I love you more than any one else I've ever loved. I love you more than myself. I'd jump right back into that burning car to save you, even if I knew there was no chance.”

“
But you'll always want that other girl, that June Cleaver dream housewife you've made up in your mind.” Toni said. “Whether she exists or not, you'll keep looking.”

“
I'm done looking,” he said, his eyes on hers. Toni shook her head, struggling against him. She didn't believe him, even though she wanted to. God, she wanted to. “The night of the accident, I broke your ankle to save you,” he continued. “For a long time, I felt so fucking guilty about it, because it fucked up your career and still gives you problems. But I wouldn't change it. Not for anything.” He drew in a jagged breath. “If you could love someone like that, how could you be without them? How could you live your life everyday like you never met them?”

“
I can't. Not anymore. You're it for me, Antoinette St. James,” he continued, taking her chin in his hand and forcing her to look at him. “I'll never give up on you. Ever.” Toni couldn't help it. A sob escaped, and a tear rolled down her cheek. “Please don't give up on me,” he murmured and something in his tone sent a pang of longing through her body. She brushed her wet cheek against his, his stubble tickling her, and she slid her arms around his neck. They stood there, holding each other, for a long while, his breathing unsteady in her ear.
Maybe O'Donovan was a romantic after all,
she thought, her heart fluttering in her chest.

His body shuddered against hers, and she knew he'd been in just as much pain as she'd been in. Her lips found his, and she kissed him, letting all the hurt and the pain flow out of her. She'd been wanting to kiss him since the minute she saw him in the hall, and need was burning her up. She'd never stop needing him, she knew now. She'd tried, but she couldn't. He just felt too damn good, and she loved him too damn much.

He moaned against her, sucking her tongue and she tightened her arms around his neck, their bodies melding together in a wonderful way. She could feel his erection swelling against her and she didn't hesitate. She dropped her hands to his belt, and he pushed her up against the desk, working to hike up her tight skirt.

“
This dress is fucking hot, love, but I hate it right now,” he said, and, laughing, she leaned back on the desk, helping him slide the fabric up her legs. He groaned impatiently, pressing a kiss to her bare knee, and she wriggled against him until the dress was bunched up around her waist and he could get in between her thighs. She guided him against her, moving her panties out of the way, and he bucked, no hesitation, sliding into her deep. She pressed her face into his shoulder, moaning at the sheer pleasure of it. She slid her hands under his suit coat, and clenched his shirt in her hands, wishing she could rip it off of him. She'd been waiting so long, she realized. All the days that they'd been apart suddenly didn't seem to matter at all. He ground his hips into her and she held him close, lifting her knees high. “I love you so much,” he rasped in her ear. “Tell me you love me.”

“
I love you,” she whispered, and she whimpered as he drove into her, his body hard and unyielding. “God, I love you,” she moaned, as he thrust deep, just like she wanted it. The desk rattled beneath her as he pounded into her, both of them muffling their moans of pleasure.

“
Fuck,” he moaned, swerving his hips. “I'm never letting you go again.”

“
Are you going to tie me to your bed?” she asked, breathlessly.

“
You are reading my mind, lovely,” he said, trailing his mouth up her neck as he plunged deep again. “That's why I came here tonight. To kidnap you,” he said. “Take you away where no one can find you, and keep you all for myself.” He punctuated the statement with a devastatingly hard thrust.

“
Oh,” was all she could say. She couldn't argue with that. It sounded like a great idea.
Yes, ma'am!
She felt her eyes roll back in her head, a wide smile on her face, as he found her spot and she pulled him closer, their bodies moving together until they both climaxed, their limbs tangled together as if holding on for dear life. Breathing hard, he dropped his forehead to her should as he withdrew from her. She frowned, immediately hating how empty she felt without his big dick in her.

“
Lift,” he said, tapping her bottom. She lifted her hips, and he pulled her panties down her legs. He cleaned his come off of her thighs with the slip of black satin, then folded them up and put them in his pocket. She stood reluctantly, rolling her dress back down her legs, attempting to smooth it out to no avail.

“
We look like we just fucked, don't we?” she asked, taking in his wrinkled shirt and her bunched dress.

“
I don't give a shit.” He pulled her close again, dropping his hands to her ass. “I love the way you look after I've fucked you.” Then he kissed her, and she forgot all about how they looked. His kiss was soft, but demanding, and when he pulled away, his face was serious. “Toni, I'm going to marry you, you know that? Maybe not this year, or next year, but I will. I'll take you down to the courthouse as soon as you'll have me.”

“
Do I have any say in this?” she asked, raising an eyebrow, not able to resist playing with him.

“
Yeah. You get to pick the date,” he said, a slight smile curling over his lips.