Kisses to Remember (14 page)

Not your concern
, she reminded herself as she dug out her cell phone. She dialed her house and waited.

“Hello?” Holden’s voice made something in her chest flutter.

“Hi. It’s me.”
Of course, it’s you, idiot.
“They just brought Ted in. How’s everything going over there?”

“Great. I think Kam and I have designed the perfect man cave for Ted, and I’m pretty sure I know how to actually build it too.”

“Like you remember skills you have?” Johanna sat up straighter in her chair. So far he remembered his favorite beer and being handy in just one day. He’d remember everything he’d forgotten quickly. She should be happy about that.

“Yeah. As Kam was drawing, I started remembering things about roof construction and foundations and load-bearing walls. I think I may have built a house or something.” He sounded energized, and when Johanna pictured him wearing a tool belt, a flash of heat washed over her.

“It’s great that you remembered, Holden.”

“I want to help rebuild the cabin as payment for your kindness.”

“You don’t have to do that. I don’t expect any payment.”

“I know you don’t. That’s what makes me want to do it even more.”

“I’m pretty sure we’re square seeing as how you helped me save Ted and all. You owe us nothing.”

“Maybe, but I want to rebuild the cabin anyway. With the architect’s help, of course.”

A light shuffle sounded as the phone changed hands.

“Mom, can I help Holden build Pep’s cabin? Can I? It’s a great design. My best yet. Holden knows a lot about building things. We’re going to make a model out of Legos when I’m done with the blueprint. Holden likes Legos, or at least he doesn’t remember
not
liking them.”    

Johanna laughed and several heads in the waiting room turned her way. God, this had been a long day with two trips to the hospital and a tornado, but hearing Kam’s excitement always made her feel as if life were wonderful.

“Sounds like you and Holden will make a good building team.”

“Is Pep all right?”

“Don’t know yet, honey, but you know Pep. He’s a bear. Nothing takes him down for long.”

“Yeah.” Kam’s voice had grown small and serious.

“You’d better finish up your drawing so you can get to the Lego model. I want to see it when I get home.”

“Okay, Mom. You want to talk to Holden again?”

“Sure.” She didn’t have anything to say to Holden in particular, but she wanted to hear his voice again.

“I’m in for something very serious with the Legos, aren’t I?” Holden asked.

“You don’t even know. That model would have running water if Kam had his way.” She recalled an “experiment” Kam had once tried using drinking straws to get water into one of his designs. It had worked until Miles sat on the entire set up.

Holden started to say something but a yawn interrupted him.

“Go to sleep, Holden. I mean it,” Johanna said. “Kam will be fine.” She glanced at her watch. 10:00 p.m. “In fact, tell Kam it’s time for bed. Past time, really. He can build his model in the morning.”

“Roger that.” He sounded like a pilot and Johanna’s flesh tingled.

“I’ll come home as soon as I get word on Ted.” She answered his few questions about any damage she’d seen on her way to the hospital then said, “Good bye.”

“See you later.”

Johanna rather liked the sound of those words. The notion that someone besides Kam was waiting for her made a warmth spread inside her chest. Sure, Alex waited for her to visit him, but that was more about visiting with Kam. When Alex filed for divorce he’d explained it was to give her freedom, but Johanna knew it was more than that. He’d been ashamed of his actions, felt responsible for Kallie’s death, and that had changed him. He wasn’t the same guy she’d married and fathered children with. He still looked at her with a wanting in his eyes, but it was different now. He didn’t really want
her
. He wanted the man he used to be when he first met her. She couldn’t give him that man. He’d been erased by Alex’s choices.

Wanting Holden couldn’t be wise either. He could be a totally different guy once he remembered everything about himself. As Ted pointed out, he could be a criminal. She’d have to be careful. She couldn’t afford to make stupid moves. Kam depended on her, and she wouldn’t let him down. He came first. Always. 

Clouds, white and puffy, rolled by him. He stretched out his arms and soared higher. The ground below grew smaller, and soon, the blue sky was replaced by black space. Stars lit his way, though he didn’t know his destination. It didn’t matter. Nothing mattered in this cosmic setting except flying.

He wasn’t paying attention, and he slammed into an asteroid.

Holden popped up in bed, fists full of sheets, and his heart nearly crashing through his ribs. He gulped in air and darted his gaze around the room. The guestroom. Johanna’s guestroom.

“A dream, idiot.” But God, that flying had seemed so real.

He inhaled deeply and winced at the pain in his ribs. Pulling up his T-shirt, he inspected the bruises purpling his chest in spots. They were tender to the touch, and his arm still itched like crazy around the stitches. A dull ache still pulsed behind his eyes and the shaved patched on his head was sore. Funny how in the dream nothing hurt. Reality sucked.

As he eased back to his pillow, the front door opened and closed. The alarm clock on the bedside table announced a neon blue 3:27 a.m. Was Johanna just coming in now?

Holden pulled back the sheets and slid off the bed. Finger-combing his hair, he opened the guestroom door and stepped into the hallway. Miles jumped off Kam’s bed and trotted over to him. After a quick petting, man and dog made their way down the hall toward the kitchen. Miles headed for his food bowl, but Holden continued to the living room where the back of Johanna’s head poked up from the couch.

He took another step and a floorboard creaked beneath his foot. Johanna’s head whipped around. Her eyes were huge and so blue against her pale skin even in the dim glow of a single lamp.

“Sorry.” Holden froze and held his hands up.

“It’s okay.” Her face relaxed. “I thought everyone was asleep.” She flopped her arm over the back of the couch and turned toward him. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“I was. Had a weird dream that woke me up.” Holden stepped deeper into the living room. “Then I heard you come in. How’s Ted?”

Johanna patted the couch beside her, and Holden didn’t hesitate over the invitation. One, his legs were still a little jiggly from the dream, from helping carry Ted to the house, from his accident, from fatigue. Two, sitting next to Johanna seemed like the perfect thing to do right now.

“Ted’s right leg is broken in two spots. They put a cast from toes to knee on him, and he’ll need crutches to get around.” She rubbed her eyes and pulled the elastic out of her hair. Red waves crested over her shoulders, and Holden reminded his hands to stay put. “The doctor wanted to keep him for observation overnight. He can come home tomorrow.”

“It is tomorrow.” Holden pointed to the antique clock on the fireplace mantle across from the couch.

“So it is. I’ve lost track of time since…since
you
showed up.” She poked him in the arm and that one touch sent a jolt of electricity through Holden’s body.

“I can’t remember what I did last week,” Holden said. “My sense of time has gone down the toilet.”

“You’ll remember.” Johanna put her hand over Holden’s on the couch cushion between them. She looked at their overlapped hands then slid hers off.

Holden caught her fingers before she was totally gone. She didn’t pull away as he thought she might. Instead, she let him interlace his fingers between hers.

“You must be exhausted.” He tugged on her hand until she slid across the cushion between them.

“I could sleep for a week.” She lowered her head onto Holden’s shoulder, her body stretching along the couch.

“Sounds like a good plan to me.” He brought his legs up beside hers and shifted until Johanna was nestled against him, her arm draped across his waist, his arm locked around her.

She sighed and settled closer, making Holden feel like a giant teddy bear. A quick thought that someone could be waiting to cuddle like this with him back in Texas zipped through his mind.

If there were, wouldn’t you remember?
He was certain he wouldn’t forget holding Johanna no matter how hard he hit his head. She was lightweight beside him, yet solid and real. Someone to hang onto. Someone to keep him from flying off in his dreams again. Someone to wake up with in the morning and be glad a new day had come.

Taking in a deep breath, Holden filled his senses with Johanna. She smelled like rain, and her hair was a sea of red-gold silk lapping at his arm. He wanted to taste her, but now was not the time for that. Now was a time for comfort and peace.

His eyelids could no longer stay open though the view before him was incredible. Resting his head back on the couch’s armrest, Holden gave in to the sleep he desperately needed. As much as he wanted his memory back, he had to admit the new memories being made were pretty damn awesome.

Tornadoes aside, of course.

****

“Mom? Mom.”

Johanna heard Kam’s voice, but couldn’t bring herself to open her eyes. She was so comfortable with her arms wrapped around…someone.

She flicked open her eyes and pushed off the chest beneath her. Holden’s chest. He let out a little groan as his eyes slowly opened. When he focused on her, the left side of his mouth turned up in a grin. A heart-stopping, sexy grin. Holy Hell, he looked good first thing in the morning, but what the hell was she doing cuddled up next to him?

“Mom.” Kam’s voice ripped Johanna from her fixation on Holden’s face.

This had to look confusing to Kam. To see his mother all tangled up with a stranger. When Johanna focused on Kam, however, he didn’t look bewildered, or angry, or surprised. Instead, his deep, dark eyes looked pleased. Was it possible Miles looked pleased too?

“I talked to Pep on the phone. He’s ready to come home. I told him you and Holden were sleeping together, but as soon as you woke up I’d tell you he was waiting.”

Johanna cringed.
Sleeping together?
Great. “How long ago did he call?”

“Like an hour maybe.” Kam took her hand then Holden’s and yanked until they untwisted themselves and stood. “I made you guys breakfast.”

“What did you make?” Holden asked around a yawn.

“Fruit salad, two bowls of Mom’s cereal, even though it’s gross, toast, and two glasses of orange juice.”

“Impressive.” Holden high-fived Kam, and Johanna loved watching the interaction between the two of them. “Can you give your mom and me two minutes maybe to finish waking up?”

“Oh, sure.” Kam smiled. “I’ll go feed Miles. We’ll be waiting in the kitchen.” He trotted off, leaving a heavy silence in the living room.

“I shouldn’t have fallen asleep on you,” Johanna finally said.

“Yeah, how rude.” That grin was on Holden’s lips again. The one that made logical thought difficult. “Truth is, I slept way better out here with you than I did in that guestroom.”

Johanna cheeks grew hot, and she knew they were red. Holden reached out a hand and tucked some of her hair behind her ear.

“Let’s eat that breakfast,” Holden said. “Then you can get Ted and explain that sleeping together really meant sleeping. This time anyway.” His gaze combed down the length of her, and it was as if he’d stroked every part he saw and even some he couldn’t see.

She stumbled into the kitchen behind him and hoped she could hide her arousal from her observant child. She was going to need something besides orange juice to tamp down her horniness this morning.

“Wow, nicely done, Kam,” Holden said as he took a seat at the table.

Johanna’s gaze zeroed in the fact that only two places were set. “What about you?” She pointed to Kam.

“I already ate.” He gave her a look that said he was totally up to something.

Taking her seat and looking at Holden, Johanna knew what that something was. She’d have to clear this up. It’d be irresponsible to let Kam get attached to Holden. It’d be downright stupid to let herself get attached.

“I’m going to get started on the Lego model of Pep’s cabin,” Kam said. “Come find me when you’re done, Holden.” He started for the hallway, then stepped back into the kitchen. “But don’t rush in here. We have all day.” He tossed them a little wave and shuffled to his room.

Johanna fiddled with her fork. “I’m sorry about him. He’s usually not so—”

“Obvious?” Holden took a swig from his orange juice.

“His father has been gone for a while now, and Kam’s been missing out on—”

“Johanna?”

“He just wants to—”

“Johanna.”

“What?”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it. I also know we should be careful here.” He glanced down to his cereal bowl then up at her. “I like Kam. He’s a great kid. I don’t want to hurt him.” He tossed a glance back to the couch. “I also like you. I want to be close to you like that again, but we should probably wait until I remember who the hell I am before getting…involved.”