Kissing in Kansas (9 page)

"That's part of my job.  I'll pass them out."  Madison walked around the table giving each child a plate.  She was happy to see more than half of them thanked the teenager for the food.  This class would be a joy to teach.

At the end of the class, the children all played while Madison once again sat on the floor and read books.  After the parents had picked them all up, Samara turned to Madison.  "Do you ever babysit?  I don't need anyone right now, but if I do, I'd love for it to be you.  You're wonderful with children."

Madison smiled, and it reached her eyes for the first time.  "I love kids.  I want at least twenty-seven.  I babysit sometimes."

"I want several of my own."  Samara looked over at the twins who were playing in the kitchen center again.  "And I've got a good head start already."

"Those two are pretty special.  I've gotten to work with them a lot since they came here."  Madison shook her head.  "I never heard them speak until their teacher started to pick on Adam.  Then they showed their personalities.  I think they're my favorites."

Samara smiled.  "They're pretty darn special."  She felt so proud of the girls for sticking up for Adam when he needed it most.

"I think so."

Henry walked in then, walking straight to Samara.  "How was your class?"  He looked nervous asking.

"Oh, it was really good," Samara answered.  "The kids were great, and I had a fabulous helper."

Henry nodded at Madison.  "I know your dad."

Madison nodded.  "Yeah.  Everybody does."  She waved at the girls.  "I'll see you next week!"

Henry watched her go.  "Did I scare her off?"

"I don't think so.  She seems a little skittish."

"Yeah, she's had a lot of problems with depression.  Her dad said it helped a lot when she started working with the little ones."

"I can believe it."  Samara related the way Madison had been with the children.  "If we ever need a sitter in the evenings, I want to call her."

"Okay."  He glanced around the room.  "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah."  She looked over at the girls.  "You need to clean up, so we can leave."

They automatically took off their aprons and hung them over the corner of the kitchen and picked up the few pots and pans they'd scattered around.  Samara grabbed her teacher's book and her purse.  "Ready when you are."

"Do you want to go to the diner again today?  We don't eat out much, and I think it's a good break for you."

Samara nodded.  "That would be really nice if you don't mind."

"I don't mind at all." 

*****

Samara was nervous at the doctor Friday morning.  She'd been seeing the same doctor since she'd turned sixteen, and the idea of a new one was nerve wracking.  At least she'd been able to find a female doctor, which eased her mind a bit.

She welcomed the time in the waiting room, reading on her current book.  Sometimes she missed the days when she could just sit and read all night, but usually she was simply thankful for the new family she had. 

She went back and peed in the cup before waiting in the examination room for the doctor.  She was completely immersed in Cindy Caldwell's newest mail order bride book when the doctor stepped into the room.  "Mrs. Crider?"

It took Samara a minute to realize the doctor was there.  The book was good, and she hated to put it down, even for a moment.  "Yes."

The doctor held out her hand.  "I'm Dr. Kelley.  What brings you in today?"

Samara sighed.  "I'm newly married, and I need to get on birth control.  My husband assumed I was already on it, and I assumed he wanted kids so...well, it's time I guess."

"You want to start taking birth control?"  The doctor looked at her chart with a frown.  "When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?"

Samara thought about that.  "I don't even know.  I got married two and a half weeks ago, so probably a couple weeks before that?"

"Are your cycles usually regular?"

"Usually, but not always.  I'm sure this one was late because I married and had twin nieces to deal with.  It's been a stressful time, but good."

The doctor pulled up a chair across from Samara, taking her wrist and feeling for her pulse.  When she was finished, she listened to her heart.  After the cursory exam, she looked at Samara.  "I can't put you on birth control."

Samara frowned.  The doctor had barely examined her.  Even if something was wrong, how would she know already?  "Why not?  I'm healthy."

"You seem to be.  Birth control isn't good for unborn babies, though."

Samara stared at the doctor for a moment, before her jaw dropped.  "But...already?"

Dr. Kelley nodded.  "I'm afraid so."

Samara felt the emotions warring inside her.  She was pregnant and wanted to dance around the room with glee.  She'd never imagined it could happen so fast, but she was thrilled.  A baby of her own!  The twins would be so good with the baby.  Maybe she'd have a boy, and it would complete their family! 

But Henry wasn't ready for a baby yet.  Would he be angry?  She hoped not, but she couldn't be sure.  She hadn't really known him long enough to know how he'd feel.

"Mrs. Crider?"

Samara looked back at the doctor.  "I'm trying to decide if I should be happy-dancing or sad, because my husband doesn't want one so soon."

"No matter what he wants, you're pregnant, so you might as well celebrate." Dr. Kelley said matter-of-factly.  "How are you feeling?  Any nausea yet?  Exhaustion?"

Samara shook her head.  "I'm tired, but with twins at home, I should be.  My husband has custody of his four year old nieces."

The doctor smiled at that.  "Oh, yes. You should definitely be tired then."

"They're wonderful little girls."  Samara shook her head.  "I'm digressing.  A baby, huh?"

The doctor laughed.  "A baby.  Is there any chance you were pregnant when you married?"

"None at all."

"Then I'd say for it to already be showing up on a urine test, you're about five weeks along.  We record the date of your last menstrual cycle as day one."  She got up to give Samara some literature.  "I'd put your due date in mid-June."

Samara was stunned.  "So where do we go from here?"

"I'll want to see you once a month or so.  I'll do a sonogram at your next visit to make sure the baby is on track developmentally."  The doctor opened the door.  "Congratulations.  Go ahead and make your next appointment on the way out."

Samara left the room in a daze.  A baby.  She was going to have a baby.

*****

Samara felt as if she was almost dream-walking the rest of the day.  She didn't seem to touch the ground as she walked.  She'd always wanted to have a bunch of children, and even though they'd planned to prevent, she was pregnant.  Maybe Henry wouldn't be thrilled, but she was.

She and the girls made supper together as usual.  She'd decided to let them make pizza, but she made the dough from scratch.  The girls got to put the toppings on, and it was fun for all three of them.  "Do we have to have sauce? I don't like sauce on my pizza," Avy asked, her nose wrinkling.

"I don't want crust on my pizza," Abby complained.

"Both pizzas are going to have sauce, crust, and cheese.  You can decide what other toppings go on them."  Samara had browned some ground beef and sausage.  She also had bell peppers, olives, and mushrooms, as well as a pack of pepperoni and some ham she'd cut into small pieces.  "You two make that one, and I'll make this one." 

Her first thought had been to have the girls each make a pizza, but she could tell that she wouldn't want to eat whatever it was they had in mind.  She added a bit of all the ingredients to the pizza she would share with Henry, and even threw on a bit of extra cheese.

The girls, without discussing it, made a pepperoni border across the middle of their pizza.  Avy added pepperoni, extra cheese, and ham to hers.  Abby added pepperoni and ground beef. 

"That looks delicious!" Samara complimented them.  "I can't wait 'til Uncle Henry gets home so we can eat."

"Me neither!" 

Samara preheated the oven and put both pizzas on top, to be popped in as soon as Henry walked in the door.

She wasn't certain yet how she was going to tell him about the baby, but she knew she needed to.  It wasn't something she could hide for long.  She'd filled the prescription the doctor had given her for prenatal vitamins and started taking them that afternoon. 

When Henry walked into the door, she rushed to him, kissing him.  "Shower quick.  The girls and I made pizza."

Henry frowned.  "Frozen pizza?"

She shook her head.  "Of course not.  Do you really think I would serve that?"

"Homemade pizza?  I'll hurry!"  He took the stairs two at a time in his rush to shower before dinner.

Samara put both pizzas into the oven. The girls were sitting at the table reading early readers to one another.  When one had trouble with a word, the other was usually able to help.  Samara loved watching them.

"I need the table for dinner," she told them.

The girls immediately took their books into the family room, but they didn't stop reading. 

While Samara set the table, she daydreamed about what their baby would be like.  She wanted a little girl whom she could dress in frilly pink dresses.  No, she wanted a little boy who would stick up for his older cousin-sisters.  No, she definitely wanted a little girl who she could teach to defend herself.  Or a little boy who looked just like Henry.

Oh, the truth was, she'd be happy with whatever God chose to give her.  A perfect baby with ten fingers and ten toes was all she really cared about.

She'd tell Henry as soon as the twins were down for the night.  Surely he'd be just as happy as she was.

Chapter Nine

When she climbed into bed with Henry that night, Samara was all set to tell him about the baby.  When he took her in his arms and kissed her, she decided she could wait just a little while.  The baby wasn't going anywhere after all.

When she woke on Saturday morning, she looked over and saw a note on Henry's pillow.  "Took the girls to the park.  We'll have a picnic and spend the whole day.  Enjoy your day of solitude."

Samara smiled at the note.  She'd have to put off telling Henry about the baby, but a whole day to herself?  She didn't know what to do first!

She rushed downstairs and fixed breakfast for one.  She would have skipped eating, but she knew she needed to eat regular meals for the baby.  Then she went into the bathroom and filled the tub.  A whole day of nothing but reading.  It was like it was her birthday and Christmas all rolled into one!  Bless Henry for realizing what she needed!

She finished three books before they came home at dinner time.  "I brought tacos," Henry told her.

Samara blinked.  "Tacos?  You mean I don't even have to cook?"  She threw her arms around his neck.  "You're the best husband ever!"

He laughed.  "You can say that as many times as you want!"

The girls chattered non-stop through supper, talking about all the things they'd done that day.  "We missed you, Aunt Sami," Abby said as she finished telling her about a new friend they'd met at the park.  "You don't like parks?"

Samara smiled.  "I do like parks, but sometimes I just need a day to be alone.  I needed that today."

"How many books did you read on your alone day?" Avy asked.

Shaking her head, Samara laughed.  "Everyone thinks they know me so well..."

"How many?" Henry asked.

"Only three."

Abby frowned.  "That's not very many, Aunt Sami.  Do you need Avy and me to teach you to read faster?  We read three books while supper cooks!"

Henry laughed, his eyes sparkling with amusement.  "Yeah, let the girls teach you to read faster.  I want to see how that works for you, Sami."

Samara made a face at him before looking at the girls.  "The books I read are really really long and there are no pictures."

"No pictures?  They sound boring," Avy told her, crunching into her taco.

*****

Samara was feeling guilty on the way to church on Sunday, because she hadn't yet told Henry about the baby.  He had asked if she'd seen the doctor to make certain he could stop using protection when they made love, but when she started to tell him about the baby, he'd cut her off with a kiss.  It hadn't been hard to distract her.  She was dreading telling him, after all.

She had to get up the nerve to tell him, but he didn't make it easy.  She knew he didn't want a baby, but maybe once he knew there was one on the way, he'd change his mind.

A father of one of the girls in her class stopped in to get his daughter.  "So you must be the girl Henry married.  He sure lucked out!"

Samara made a face.  "What does that mean?"

"Well, you're gorgeous, you cook, you clean, you take care of kids, and he gets to do whatever he wants like he's single again."

"He does?"

The man laughed.  "Well, is he the one giving the girls baths and picking them up?  Is he cooking the meals?  No, that's all on you.  He got a free nanny with fringe benefits.  Lucky Henry!" 

Samara frowned.  She hoped with everything inside her that wasn't the way Henry saw her.  "I guess."

When Henry came into the classroom to get her and the girls a short time later, she frowned at him.  She didn't know if it was the pregnancy hormones playing with her mind or something he'd actually done, but she felt inexplicably angry with him.

"Are you only married to me so you can have free babysitting, cleaning and meals?"

Henry gaped at her for a moment.  "Why do you ask that?"

"Because it seemed okay in the beginning, but it doesn't now.  Is that why you married me?"  She crossed her arms over her chest, ready to fight right then and there if she needed to.

Henry frowned.  "Well, sure, it's why I married you in the beginning.  It's not how I feel now that I've met you and come to—care about you."

Samara folded her arms across her chest.  "You care about me, do you?"

Henry shook his head, baffled by her strange behavior.  "You know I do.  I wouldn't have taken the girls out yesterday to give you a day alone to read if I didn't.  Why are you even asking me that?"

Samara considered his words.  "I guess that's true."  She really didn't want to fight with him in a church anyway.  She'd wait until they were home to hash everything out.  He needed to know about the baby, and she needed to know where she stood.  What if he kicked her out because of the baby?

They went out to lunch as they usually did on Sundays after church, but when they got home, Samara changed the normal routine.  "Why don't you girls go lie down for your nap while I talk to your uncle?"

Abby and Avy exchanged a look.  "You're not going to tuck us in?" Avy seemed appalled at the very idea.

Samara realized she was taking out her frustration with Henry on the girls.  They were used to a certain routine and there was no reason for her to change it, just because she was upset.  "Of course, I'll tuck you in."  She looked at Henry.  "Wait right here.  We're going to talk."

Henry sat down in the family room, wondering what on earth had gotten into his sweet wife.  She was angry with him for some inexplicable reason.  While he waited he thought about what she'd asked him in the church.  He had married her just for free cleaning and child tending, and to give the girls stability in their lives.  He didn't feel like he'd ever hidden that from her!  She meant a great deal more to him now, though.

When Samara came back to the family room she sat down across from him, where he couldn't touch her and mess with her emotions.  As soon as he touched her, her hormones went nuts, and she wanted to melt into his arms.  This discussion was too important for that.

"Why did you marry me, Henry?"  No reason to beat around the bush when you could just ask the question right out.

Henry frowned.  "I married you for the exact reasons you think I did.  I married you because I needed stability for the girls.  I needed someone who could cook something better than Pop Tarts.  I needed the twins to have a mother.  I never intended to touch you."

Samara closed her eyes.  "But you did touch me.  So now what?"

He sighed.  "I'm not sure what you want me to say, Sami.  Yes, I touched you, and I plan on touching you some more.  I'm glad we got married, and not just for the girls, for me.  Lachele did a good job when she matched us.  We belong together."

"So what if I did something that made you angry?  Would you kick me out?"  She had no idea if he'd be angered by her news, but she had to tell him.  She'd put it off long enough.

He frowned.  "Like what?"

"Well, what if it wasn't on purpose and it just happened?  Something I had no control over?"

"What are you trying not to tell me?"  His voice was angry.  Obviously he didn't want to hear what she had to say.

Samara sucked in a breath and closed her eyes.  "Will you kick me out?"

"If you haven't cheated on me, then no.  If you have cheated on me, I'm not sure I could ever get past that."  Henry glared at her.  "Have you cheated on me?  You don't even know anyone here!"

"Of course, I haven't cheated on you!  Don't be ridiculous."

"Then what is all this about?  What are you worried is going to make me angry?"

Samara sighed, saying a quick silent prayer for strength.  "When I saw the doctor on Friday, she couldn't put me on birth control."

Henry frowned.  "I'll just keep using condoms then.  I hate them, but I can deal with that.  No big deal."  Was that her whole problem?  Because it was easily solvable.

"It is a big deal."  She looked him straight in the eyes.  "She won't put me on birth control because it might hurt the baby."

Henry's eyes widened.  He felt like he'd been kicked in the stomach.  "Baby?  But...we just barely got married!"

"I know."  She shrugged.  "I hope you're not mad."

He closed his eyes leaning back on the couch, struggling with his emotions.  On one hand, he hadn't wanted her to get pregnant so soon.  It wasn't part of his five year plan, and his five year plan had already been upset by the twins and his marriage.  This would throw it completely off course! 

On the other hand, he loved the idea of her having his baby.  A child of their own for them to raise, not someone else's.  "And you're worried that I'm going to kick you out because you're pregnant with my child?"

"Well, you made it really clear you weren't ready for a baby yet.  That you wanted to wait."  Had she been worried for no real reason?

"Waiting would have been ideal."  He shrugged.  "I have this five year plan."

"Five year plan?  Really?"  It was the last thing she'd expected him to say.

"In five years I was going to be ready to start looking for a wife, and then children would be a natural consequence.  But I inherited the girls, and I love them dearly.  I wouldn't give them up for anything.  So I told myself I was still on track with my plan, but I needed someone to help me raise them.  I decided I could put off sex with my new wife for five years.  I didn't think it would be a problem."

Samara laughed.  "Five years?  You didn't last three days!"

Henry frowned at her.  "I'm aware."  He shook his head.  "I don't feel like I'm ready to be a father.  It's not that I don't care for you, because I do.  I just feel like I should have waited until I was ready financially and emotionally."

"Is anyone ever really ready?"

He sighed.  "I guess not.  I just—I thought I should wait until I was.  I wanted to have all my ducks in a row."

"Well, your ducks are waddling in every direction.  How do you feel now?"

Henry held his hand out to her, and she stood, walking to him.  He pulled her down onto his lap, holding her close.  "How do I feel?  I'm in love with you.  I've been in love with you since the night we first made love.  I never would have let it go so far if I wasn't."  He pulled her head down to his, and kissed her sweetly.  "How do you feel now?"

She smiled.  "Relieved.  I wasn't sure how to have this conversation with you.  Especially since I thought that you only cared about me for the things I did around the house."

"Have you been sick?  The twins' mom spent months doing nothing but throwing up."

Samara shook her head.  "No, I haven't been sick yet, but the doctor said it's really too early for that."

He put his hand over her flat stomach.  "It's hard to believe there's a baby in there already."

"I know!  Lachele is going to go nuts!"

"Dr. Lachele?  Why's that?"

"She has a wall decorated with pictures of all the babies that have come from Matchrimony matches.  She calls them her Matchrimony Munchkins."

"Are you serious?"

Samara nodded emphatically.  "Oh, the woman is certifiable.  That's why she's so good at what she does!"

He laughed.  "I guess she will be happy then."  He looked at her.  "What about you?  You've got so much going on right now.  You're working full-time, taking care of the girls and all the housework and cooking, teaching Sunday school.  Can you handle all that?"

Samara shrugged.  "Maybe I'll hire someone to come in and clean once a week.  That would give me more time to read—I mean it would help me out a lot.  Take some of the burden off of me."  She smiled at him, hoping he hadn't caught her comment about reading.

He just laughed.  "I think that's a great idea.  That way you can just deal with the girls and your work.  And cooking, of course."

"Of course."

He pulled her down and kissed her again.  "I'm sorry you didn't feel like you could talk to me about this.  I'm thrilled.  I shouldn't be, but I am.  I love you, and you're having my baby.  I can't complain a bit."

Samara smiled.  "I love you too, you know."

"Yup, I know."

"You do?  How?"

"If you hadn't loved me you'd have run off as soon as the girls told you about their skin falling off if they bathed too much.  That was my proof."

Samara laughed.  "You're a mess.  Did you know that?"

He shrugged.  "I'm
your
mess."