Knight on the Children's Ward (3 page)

 

‘Are you still here?' Caroline frowned, quite a long time later, because, as pedantic as Ross was, consultants didn't usually hang around all day.

‘I just thought I'd catch up on some paperwork.'

‘Haven't you got an office to go to?' she teased.

He did, but for once he didn't have that much paperwork to do.

‘Annika!' Caroline called her over from where Annika was stacking the linen trolley after returning from her supper break. ‘Come and get started on your notes. I'll show you how we do them. It's different to the main wards.'

He didn't look up, but he smelt her as she came around the desk.

A heavy, musky fragrance perfumed the air, and though he wrote it maybe twenty times a day, he had misspelled
diarrhoea
, and Ross frowned at his spiky black handwriting, because the familiar word looked completely wrong.

‘Are you wearing perfume, Annika?' He didn't look up at Caroline's stern tone.

‘A little,' Annika said, because she'd freshened up after her break.

‘You can't wear perfume on the children's ward!' Caroline's voice had a familiar ring to it—one Ross had heard all his life.

‘What do you mean—you just didn't want to go to school? You can't wear an earring. You just have to, that's all. You just don't. You just can't.'

‘Go and wash it off,' Caroline said, and now Ross did look up. He saw her standing there, wary, tight-lipped, in that ridiculous apron. ‘There are children with aller
gies, asthma. You just
can't
wear perfume, Annika—didn't you think?'

Caroline was right, Ross conceded, there were children with allergies and, as much as he liked it, Kolovsky musk post-op might be a little bit too much, but he wanted to step in, wanted to grin at Annika and tell her she smelt divine, tell her
not
to wash it off, for her to tell Caroline that she wouldn't.

And he knew that she was thinking it too!

It was a second, a mere split second, but he saw her waver—and Ross had a bizarre feeling that she was going to dive into her bag for the bottle and run around the ward, ripping off her apron and spraying perfume. The thought made him smile—at the wrong moment, though, because Annika saw him and, although Ross snapped his face to bland, she must have thought he was enjoying her discomfort.

Oh, but he wanted to correct her.

He wanted to follow her and tell her that wasn't what he'd meant as she duly turned around and headed for the washroom.

He wanted to apologise when she came back unscented and sat at her stool while Caroline nit-picked her way through the nursing notes.

Instead he returned to his own notes.

DIAOR… He scrawled a line through it again.

Still her fragrance lingered.

He got up without a word and, unusually for Ross, closed his office door. Then he picked up his pen and forced himself to concentrate.

DIARREA.

He hurled his pen down. Who cared anyway? They knew what he meant!

He was not going to fancy her, nor, if he could help it, even talk much to her.

He was off women.

He had sworn off women.

And a student nurse on his ward—well, it couldn't be without complications.

She was his friend's little sister too.

No way!

Absolutely not.

He picked up his pen and resumed his notes.

‘
The baby has
,' he wrote instead, ‘
severe gastroenteritis
.'

H
E DID
a very good job of ignoring her.

He did an excellent job at pulling rank and completely speaking over her head, or looking at a child or a chart or the wall when he had no choice but to address her. And at his student lecture on Monday he paid her no more attention than any of the others. He delivered a talk on gastroenteritis, and, though he hesitated as he went to spell
diarrhoea
, he wrote it up correctly on the whiteboard.

She, Ross noted, was ignoring him too. She asked no questions at the end of the lecture, but an annoying student called Cassie made up for that.

Once their eyes met, but she quickly flicked hers away, and he, though he tried to discount it, saw the flush of red on her neck and wished that he hadn't.

Yes, he did a very good job at ignoring her and not talking to her till, chatting to the pathologist in the bowels of the hospital a few days later, he glanced up at the big mirror that gave a view around the corridor and there was Annika. She was yawning, holding some blood samples, completely unaware she was being watched.

‘I've been waiting for these…' Ross said when she
turned the corner, and she jumped slightly at the sight of him. He took the bloodwork and stared at the forms rather than at her.

‘The chute isn't working,' Annika explained. ‘I said I'd drop them in on my way home.'

‘I forgot to sign the form.'

‘Oh.'

He would rather have taken ages to sign the form, but the pathologist decided they had been talking for too long and hurried him along. Annika had stopped for a moment to put on her jacket, and as his legs were much longer than hers somehow, despite trying not to, he had almost caught her up as they approached the flapping black plastic doors. It would have been really rude had she not held it open—and just plain wrong for him not to thank her and fall into step beside her.

‘You look tired,' Ross commented.

‘It's been a long shift.'

This had got them halfway along the corridor, and now they should just walk along in silence, Ross reasoned. He was a consultant, and he could be as rude and as aloof as he liked—except he could hear his boots, her shoes, and an endless, awful silence. It was Ross who filled it.

‘I've actually been meaning to talk to you…' He had—long before he had liked her.

‘Oh?' She felt the adrenaline kick in, the effect of him close up far more devastating than his smile, and yet she liked it. She liked it so much that she slowed down her pace and looked over to him. ‘About what?'

She could almost smell the bonfire—all those smiles, all that guessing, all that waiting was to be put to rest now they were finally talking.

‘I know your brother Iosef,' Ross said. ‘He asked me to keep an eye out for you when you started.'

‘Did he?' Her cheeks were burning, the back of her nose was stinging, and she wanted to run, to kick up her heels and run from him—because all the time she'd thought it was her, not her family, that he saw.

‘I've always meant to introduce myself. Iosef is a good friend.' It was her jacket's fault, Ross decided. Her jacket smelt of the forbidden perfume. It smelt so much of her that he forgot, for a second, his newly laid-down rules. ‘We should catch up some time…'

‘Why?' She turned very blue eyes to him. ‘So that you can report back to Iosef?'

‘Of course not.'

‘Tell him I'm doing fine,' Annika snapped, and, no, she didn't kick up her heels, and she didn't run, but she did walk swiftly away from him.

A year.

For more than a year she'd carried a torch, had secretly hoped that his smile, those looks they had shared, had meant something. All that time she had thought it had been about her, and yet again it wasn't.

Again, all she was was a Kolovsky.

It rankled. On the drive home it gnawed and burnt, but when she got there her mother had left a long message on the answer machine which rankled rather more.

They needed to go over details, she reminded her daughter.

It was the charity ball in just three weeks—as if Annika could ever forget.

When Annika had been a child it had been discovered that her father had an illegitimate son—one who was being raised in an orphanage in Russia.

Levander had been brought over to Australia. Her father had done everything to make up for the wretched years his son had suffered, and Levander's appalling early life had been kept a closely guarded family secret.

Now, though, the truth was starting to seep out. And Nina, anticipating a public backlash, had moved into pre-emptive damage control.

Huge donations had been sent to several orphanages, and to a couple of street-kid programmes too.

And then there was
The Ball
.

It was to be a dazzling, glitzy affair they would all attend. Levander was to be excused because he was in England, but the rest of the family would be there. Iosef and his wife, her brother Aleksi, and of course Annika. They would all look glossy and beautiful and be photographed to the max, so that when the truth inevitably came out the spin doctors would be ready.

Already were ready.

Annika had read the draft of the waiting press release.

Lies.

Lies based on twisted truths. And only since her father's death had Annika started to question them.

And now she had, everything had fallen apart.

Her mother had never hit her before—oh, maybe a slap on the leg when she was little and had refused to converse in Russian, and once as a teenager, when her mother had found out she was eating burgers on her morning jog, Annika had nursed a red cheek and a swollen eye…but hardly anything major…

Until she had asked about Levander.

They had been sorting out her father's things, a painful task at the best of times, and Annika had come across some letters. She hadn't read them—she hadn't had a chance to. Nina had snatched them out of her hands, but Annika had asked her mother a question that had been nagging. It was a question her brothers had refused to answer when she had approached them with it. She asked whether Ivan and Nina had known that Levander was in an orphanage all those years.

Her mother had slapped her with a viciousness that had left Annika reeling—not at the pain but with shock.

She had then discovered that when she started to think, to suggest, to question, to find her own path in life, the love and support Annika had thought was unconditional had been pulled up like a drawbridge.

And the money had been taken away too.

Annika deleted her mother's message and prepared a light supper. She showered, and then, because she hadn't had time to this morning, ironed her white agency nurse's uniform and dressed. Tying her hair back, she clipped on her name badge.

Annika Kolovsky
.

No matter how she resisted, it was who she was—and
all
she was to others.

She should surely be used to it by now.

Except she'd thought Ross had seen something else—thought for a foolish moment that Ross Wyatt had seen her for herself. Yet again it came back to one thing.

She was a Kolovsky.

‘S
LEEP
well, Elsie.' Elsie didn't answer as Annika tucked the blankets round the bony shoulders of the elderly lady.

Elsie had spat out her tablets and thrown her dinner on the floor. She had resisted at every step of Annika undressing her and getting her into bed. But now that she was in bed she relaxed, especially when Annika positioned the photo of her late husband, Bertie, where the old lady could see him.

‘I'll see you in the morning. I have another shift then.'

Still Elsie didn't answer, and Annika wished she would. She loved the stories Elsie told, during the times when she was lucid. But Elsie's confusion had worsened because of an infection, and she had been distressed tonight, resenting any intrusion. Nursing patients with dementia was often a thankless task, and Annika's shifts exhausted her, but at least, unlike on the children's ward, where she had been for a week now, here Annika knew what she was doing.

Oh, it was back-breaking, and mainly just sheer hard work, but she had been here for over a year now, and knew the residents. The staff of the private nursing home had been wary at first, but they were used to Annika
now. She had proved herself a hard worker and, frankly, with a skeleton staff, so long as the patients were clean and dry, and bedded at night or dressed in the morning, nobody really cared who she was or why someone as rich as Annika always put her hand up for extra shifts.

It was ridiculous, though.

 

Annika knew that.

In fact she was ashamed that she stood in the forecourt of a garage next to a filthy old ute and had to prepay twenty dollars, because that was all she had until her pay from the nursing home went in tomorrow, to fill up the tank of a six-figure powder-blue sports car.

It had been her twenty-first birthday present.

Her mother had been about to upgrade it when Annika had declared she wanted to study nursing, and when she had refused to give in the financial plug had been pulled.

Her car now needed a service, which she couldn't afford. The sensible thing, of course, would be to sell it—except, despite its being a present, technically, it didn't belong to her: it was a company car.

So deep in thought was Annika, so bone-weary from a day on the children's ward and a twilight shift at the nursing home, that she didn't notice the man crossing the forecourt towards her.

‘Annika?' He was putting money in his wallet. He had obviously just paid, and she glanced around rather than look at him. She was one burning blush, and not just because it was Ross, but rather because someone from work had seen her. She had done a full shift on the children's ward, and was due back there at midday tomorrow, so there was no way on earth she should be
cramming in an extra shift, but she clearly was—two, actually, not that he could know! The white agency nurse dress seemed to glow under the fluorescent lights.

 

He could have nodded and left it there.

He damn well
should
nod and leave it there—and maybe even have a quiet word with Caroline tomorrow, or Iosef, perhaps.

Or say nothing at all—just simply forget.

He chose none of the above.

‘How about a coffee?'

‘It's late.'

‘I know it's late,' Ross said, ‘but I'm sure you could use a coffee. There's an all-night cafe a kilometre up the road—I'll see you there.'

She nearly didn't go.

She was
extremely
tempted not to go. But she had no choice.

Normally she was careful about being seen in her agency uniform, but she didn't have her jacket in the car, and she'd been so low on petrol… Anyway, Annika told herself, it was hardly a crime—all her friends did agency shifts. How the hell would a student survive otherwise?

His grim face told her her argument would be wasted.

‘I know students have to work…' he had bought her a coffee and she added two sugars ‘…and I know it's probably none of my business…'

‘It
is
none of your business,' Annika said.

‘But I've heard Caroline commenting, and I've seen you yawning…' Ross said. ‘You look like you've got two black eyes.'

‘So tell Caroline—or report back to my brother.' Annika shrugged. ‘Then your duty is done.'

‘Annika!' Ross was direct. ‘Do you go out of your way to be rude?'

‘Rude?'

‘I'm trying
not
to talk to Caroline; I'm trying to talk to
you
.'

‘Check up on me, you mean, so that Iosef—'

He whistled in indignation. ‘This has nothing to do with your brother. It's my ward, Annika. You were on an early today; you're on again tomorrow…'

‘How do you know?'

‘Sorry?'

‘My shift tomorrow. How do you know?'

And that he couldn't answer—but the beat of silence did.

He'd checked.

Not deliberately—he hadn't swiped keys and found the nursing roster—but as he'd left the ward he had glanced up at the whiteboard and seen that she was on tomorrow.

He had noted to himself that she was on tomorrow.

‘I saw the whiteboard.'

And she could have sworn that he blushed. Oh, his cheeks didn't flare like a match to a gas ring, as Annika's did—he was far too laid-back for that, and his skin was so much darker—but there was something that told her he was embarrassed. He blinked, and then his lips twitched in a very short smile, and then he blinked again. There was no colour as such to his eyes—in fact they were blacker than black, so much so that she couldn't even make out his pupils. He was staring, and so was she. They were sitting in an all-night coffee shop. She was in her uniform and he was telling her off for working, and yet she was sure there was more.

Almost sure.

‘So, Iosef told you to keep an eye out for me?' she said, though more for her own benefit—that smile wouldn't fool her again.

‘He said that he was worried about you, that you'd pretty much cut yourself off from your family.'

‘I haven't,' Annika said, and normally that would have been it. Everything that was said stayed in the family, but Ross was Iosef's friend and she was quite sure he knew more. ‘I see my mother each week; I am attending a family charity ball soon. Iosef and I argued, but only because he thinks I'm just playing at nursing.'

This wasn't news to Ross. Iosef had told him many things—how Annika was spoilt, how she stuck at nothing, how nursing was her latest flight of fancy. Of course Ross could not say this, so he just sat as she continued.

‘I have not cut myself off from my family. Aleksi and I are close…' She saw his jaw tighten, as everyone's did these days when her brother's name was mentioned. Aleksi was trouble. Aleksi, now head of the Kolovsky fortune, was a loose cannon about to explode at any moment. Annika was the only one he was close to; even his twin Iosef was being pushed aside as Aleksi careered out of control. She looked down at her coffee then, but it blurred, so she pressed her fingers into her eyes.

‘You
can
talk to me,' Ross said.

‘Why would I?'

‘Because that's what people do,' Ross said. ‘Some people you know you can talk to, and some people…' He stopped then. He could see she didn't understand, and neither really did Ross. He swallowed down the words he had been about to utter and changed tack. ‘I am going to Spain in three, nearly four weeks.' He smiled at her frown. ‘Caroline doesn't know; Admin doesn't know. In
truth, they are going to be furious when they find out. I am putting off telling them till I have spoken with a friend who I am hoping can cover for me…'

‘Why are you telling me this?'

‘Because I'm asking you to tell
me
things you'd rather no one else knew.'

She took her fingers out of her eyes and looked up to find
that
smile.

‘It would be rude not to share,' he said.

He
was
dangerous.

She could almost hear her mother's rule that you discussed family with no one breaking.

‘My mother does not want me to nurse,' Annika tentatively explained. And the skies didn't open with a roar, missiles didn't engage. There was just the smell of coffee and the warmth of his eyes. ‘She has cut me off financially until I come back home. I still see her, I still go over and I still attend functions. I haven't cut myself off. It is my mother who has cut me off—financially, anyway. That's why I'm working these shifts.'

He didn't understand—actually, he didn't fully believe it.

He could guess at what her car was worth, and he knew from his friend that Annika was doted upon. Then there was Aleksi and his billions, and Iosef, even if they argued, would surely help her out.

‘Does Iosef know you're doing extra shifts?'

‘We don't talk much,' Annika admitted. ‘We don't get on; we just never have. I was always a daddy's girl, the little princess… Levander, my older brother, thinks the same…' She gave a helpless shrug. ‘I was always pleading with them to toe the line, to stop making waves in the family. Iosef is just waiting for me to quit.'

‘Iosef cares about you.'

‘He offers me money,' Annika scoffed. ‘But really he is just waiting for this phase to be over. If I want money I will ask Aleksi, but, really, how can I be independent if all I do is cash cheques?'

‘And how can you study and do placements and be a Kolovsky if you're cramming in extra shifts everywhere?'

She didn't know how, because she was failing at every turn.

‘I get by,' she settled for. ‘I have learnt that I can blowdry my own hair, that foils every month are not essential, that a massage each week and a pedicure and manicure…' Her voice sounded strangled for a moment. ‘I am spoilt, as my brothers have always pointed out, and I am trying to learn not to be, but I keep messing up.'

‘Tell me?'

She was surprised when she opened her screwed up eyes, to see that he was smiling.

‘Tell me how you mess up?'

‘I used to eat a lot of takeaway,' she admitted, and he was still smiling, so she was more honest, and Ross found out that Annika's idea of takeaway wasn't the same as his! ‘I had the restaurants deliver.'

‘Can't you cook?'

‘I'm a fantastic cook,' Annika answered.

‘That's right.' Ross grinned. ‘I remember Iosef saying you were training as a pastry chef…in Paris?' he checked.

‘I was only there six months.' Annika wrinkled her nose. ‘I had given up on modelling and I so badly wanted to go. It took me two days to realise I had made a mistake, and then six months to pluck up the courage
to admit defeat. I had made such a fuss, begged to go…Like I did for nursing.'

He didn't understand.

He thought of his own parents—if he'd said that he wanted to study life on Mars they'd have supported him. But then he'd always known what he wanted to do. Maybe if one year it had been Mars, the next Venus and then Pluto, they'd have decided otherwise. Maybe this was tough love that her mother thought she needed to prove that nursing was what she truly wanted to do.

‘So you can cook?' It was easier to change the subject.

‘Gourmet meals, the most amazing desserts, but a simple dinner for one beats me every time…' She gave a tight shrug. ‘But I'm slowly learning.'

‘How else have you messed up?'

She couldn't tell him, but he was still smiling, so maybe she could.

‘I had a credit card,' she said. ‘I have always had one, but I just sent the bill to our accountants each month…'

‘Not now?'

‘No.'

Her voice was low and throaty, and Ross found himself leaning forward to catch it.

‘It took me three months to work out that they weren't settling it, and I am still paying off that mistake.'

‘But you love nursing?' Ross said, and then frowned when she shook her head.

‘I don't know,' Annika admitted. ‘Sometimes I don't even know why I am doing this. It's the same as when I wanted to be a pastry chef, and then I did jewellery design—that was a mistake too.'

‘Do you think you've made a mistake with nursing?' Ross asked.

Annika gave a tight shrug and then shook her head—he was hardly the person to voice her fears to.

‘You can talk to me, Annika. You can trust that it won't—'

‘Trust?' She gave him a wide-eyed look. ‘Why would I trust you?'

It was the strangest answer, and one he wasn't expecting. Yet why should she trust him? Ross pondered. All he knew was that she could.

‘You need to get home and get some rest,' Ross settled for—except he couldn't quite leave it there. ‘How about dinner…?'

And this was where every woman jumped, this was where Ross always kicked himself and told himself to slow down, because normally they never made it to dinner. Normally, about an hour from now, they were pinning the breakfast menu on the nearest hotel door or hot-footing it back to his city abode—only this was Annika, who instead drained her coffee and stood up.

‘No, thank you. It would make things difficult at work.'

‘It would,' Ross agreed, glad that one of them at least was being sensible.

‘Can I ask that you don't tell Caroline or anyone about this?'

‘Can I ask that you save these shifts for your days off, or during your holidays?'

‘No.'

They walked out to the car park, to his dusty ute and her powder-blue car. Ross was relaxed and at ease, Annika a ball of tension, so much so that she jumped at the bleep of her keys as she unlocked the car.

‘I'm not going to say anything to Caroline.'

‘Thank you.'

‘Just be careful, okay?'

‘I will.'

‘You can't mess up on any ward, but especially not on children's.'