Read Knitting Under the Influence Online
Authors: Claire Lazebnik
“I can't decide who looks more blissed out, you or the cat,” David said as she swallowed the last bite. “Of course, the cat has a slight advantage in being able to lick himself clean.”
“Does that mean I have pizza sauce on my face?” Lucy said. She didn't even care. Nothing bothered her. David was back, safe and sound.
“Just a little. On your chin.”
She swiped at it with a napkin. “Did I get it?”
“Not yet.” He leaned forward. “Right there.” He touched his fingertip lightly to the right side of her chin.
She wiped at the spot. “That better?”
“Yeah.” He was still leaning forward.
“Thanks,” she said.
He let his arm fall. “Want another slice?”
“God, no. It was good, though.”
He closed the pizza box and stood up. “I should probably head off.”
“Oh, right.” Her contentment suddenly dropped away. “You left someone waiting. I’m sorry I wasted your whole day. And for nothing.”
“It's okay,” he said. “I’m glad it turned out to be for nothing. Here he is, safe as can be. No one's going to be experimenting on
this
little kitten tonight.”
“Or ever.” She stood up as he moved toward the door. “Hold on,” she said.
He turned back, questioningly.
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I was a total idiot about everything. Panicking about the cat when he was fine the whole time.”
“You're not an idiot,” he said.
“I totally overreacted. I was a hysterical girl.”
“It's okay to react to things,” he said. “Not everything has to be a thought-out position in life with a defensible argument, Lucy. Sometimes it's okay to just react.”
“Even if it makes you look like an idiot?”
“Especially.”
They were both quiet for a moment. Then, “Thank you,” Lucy said, moving forward. “For coming today and caring about David.”
“You don't have to thank me for either.”
“Thank you, anyway,” she said, and hugged him. He hugged her back. They stood like that a moment, their bodies pressed together in friendship.
And then Lucy felt something move against her leg. For one ridiculous moment, she thought of the cat. And then she realized it wasn't an animal.
David had a hard-on.
So maybe it wasn't just friendship.
The polite thing to do was to ignore it, she thought.
And then she deliberately pressed her hip against him.
“Excuse me?” he said startled and taking a step back.
“I didn't say anything.” She moved up against him again and pushed her thigh right where his dick was jutting up inside the light fabric of the scrub pants he was wearing.
There was a pause. Then: “Yeah, about that,” he said, twisting away from her. His face had turned red, and he wouldn't look at her. “I’m sorry. I can't always—you know—control it—and we were kind of … shoved up together there. And all men are pigs. Did I mention that before? That all men are pigs? Because that pretty much sums it up. And these scrubs don't hold you back at all. Or the boxers, either. Anyway … I should probably go. I already stayed too long.”
“No,” Lucy said. “Don't go.” And, pressing the length of her body against his—making sure her hip was right up against his erection—she lifted up her face and offered him her mouth. Which he accepted, at first uncertainly and then with growing enthusiasm.
The kiss didn't do anything to subdue or calm the hot dick against her leg. It bobbed about even more enthusiastically than before.
When they finally came up for air, Lucy hid her head in his shoulder and said, “I can't believe we're doing this.”
“We can stop now,” David said. He cleared his throat. “I could still go.”
“You sure you can walk?”
“I could probably limp out of here.” He took a deep breath. “Seriously, Lucy, if you want me to go, I’m gone. We still have to work together. I’m not saying I haven't dreamed about this— okay, fantasized about this—from day one, because I have. But you made it clear a long time ago that it was never going to happen and I’ve accepted that.”
“Have you?” Lucy said, looking down at the tent in his pants.
“Yeah,” he said. “Intellectually I have. Maybe not so much physically. But I can still walk out of here and never say another word about any of it.”
“Really?” she said, gently bouncing her leg right where his dick was straining hard against the thin fabric. “Just walk right out of here?”
He closed his eyes with a little moan and said, “I think I can.”
“You sound like the little engine.”
“Are you just torturing me or is there a point to what you're doing?”
She answered his question by taking him by the hand and leading him into her bedroom.
There was a pause after she rolled off of him. They lay side by side on their backs, eyes closed, breathing hard. And then he said, “I thought I could, I thought I could,” and they both cracked up. “Uh-oh,” David said suddenly. “We're not alone.”
Lucy opened her eyes. David the kitten was crouched on the end of the bed watching them. “Here, David,” Lucy cooed. “Here, kitty. Don't be afraid.” He came walking toward her, picking his way carefully among the folds and lumps of the quilt. Lucy held her hand out to him and he came closer and cautiously sniffed at her fingers. “Now that he's seen some very grown-up things, I think we'd better explain the facts of life to him, don't you?”
“Definitely. Let me.” He scritched behind the kitten's ear and said, “Kid, stay away from girls. They'll only break your heart.”
“Hey!” Lucy propped herself up on her elbow. “That's so not true.”
“Been true in my experience.”
“I’d say you were the one with some explaining to do. Didn't you leave some cute little undergrad back at Starbucks, sobbing into her extra-foamy decaf latte?”
“I have to assume she's gone home by
now.”
“Seriously,” Lucy said.
“I can't help it if I like you better. And I didn't actually leave her there, you know. I dropped her off at her place.”
“You like me better?” she said.
“Always have,” he said. “But you were never available or interested.”
“I’m both now,” she said.
“I can't believe it,” he said. “I should have given you a cat a long time ago.”
She reached down for the quilt and pulled it up over both of them. “You want to stay the night?”
“You really want me to?”
“Yeah. That way, in the morning— Oh, my God! The morning!” She sat up. “I’m going to Hawaii in the morning!”
“You're kidding.”
She shook her head.
“Jesus, Luce, when were you going to tell me? You can't just take off on a vacation—we have a ton of work this week.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “I swear I was going to call you as soon as I got home, and then the whole thing with David happened and I totally forgot.” She told him about Kevin's call.
“All right,” he said. “I guess you kind of have to go if your friend's getting married. But you can't stay any longer than that, no matter how beautiful it is there.”
“I won't. I promise.”
“Wish I could go with you.”
“Well, you can't,” she said. “Which is a good thing.”
“Thanks a lot.”
“No, I mean, it would be nice to have you there—but if you're here, you can take care of David for me.”
“Yeah, okay,” he said. He scooped David up in his hand. “Looks like it's going to be just me and you for the next few days, buddy. Let's have some fun. Let's go find us some
pussy.”
“I knew that sooner or later you were going to make that joke,” Lucy said. “You are so predictable.”
“He
thinks I’m funny.” He held up the kitten. “I mean, he's trying to keep a straight face, but you can tell that on the inside he is totally losing his shit.”
“You're a nut,” Lucy said. She flung back the quilt and swung her legs off of the bed. “I’m going to pack as quickly as I can, and then I’m coming back to bed, and you both better still be here. Understand?”
“Understood,” David said. “Do we have to be awake?”
“Nah,” she said with a grin. “I think I can figure out a way to wake you up.”
He wasn't asleep when she came back, but he pretended he was.
Knit Two Together
Y
ou know,” Lucy said, craning her neck to get a better view, “I don't think we need to bother trying to go see a volcano. The most impressive rock formation in Hawaii is right here in front of us.”
“It's not bad, is it?” Kathleen said, moving her hand so the diamond caught the light and released its hidden rainbow of hues. “A little heavy on the finger—”
“Are you complaining?” Lucy said. “Because if it's too heavy for you, darling, I could be persuaded to carry it around a while.”
“Just don't expect to ever get it back, Kath,” Sari said. She tilted her face up to the sunlight. “Man, this is the life, isn't it?” They were sitting on beach chairs on the sand, the ocean booming and crashing just feet from their toes, the sun warm, the breeze soft, and the sky an intense turquoise blue. They wore bikinis and sarongs and were covered with sunscreen, floppy hats, and sunglasses.
Lucy sighed with pleasure and dug her toes into the sun-hot sand. “Kathleen, you are no idiot.”
“That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.”
“I can't believe Kevin actually owns this place,” Lucy said. “It's beautiful. It's beyond beautiful. It's what Eden would have been like if it hadn't been a garden, and I’ll take the ocean over some dumb flowers anyday. If you don't marry Kevin, I will.”
“I never knew you were so materialistic,” Kathleen said.
“I don't think it's materialistic to want
this,”
Lucy said. “The beach and all. I’m just appreciating nature.”
“A minute ago, you were appreciating her diamond,” Sari said. “Any more appreciation from you, and Kathleen better start looking over her shoulder. Especially now that you're back on the market.”
“I’m off the market again,” Lucy said. She lifted up her chin to let the breeze cool off her neck.
“You and James make up?” Kathleen said.
“No,” Lucy said.
Sari said, “She even destroyed the sweater.”
“She destroyed the sweater?” Kathleen said. “No one told me that.”
“I had to,” Lucy said. “It was a symbolic gesture.”
“I told you,” Kathleen said. “I told you not to knit a sweater for a boyfriend.”
“And I told
you
not to knit a bikini in hot pink.”
“Hey,” Kathleen said, flinging out her arms and posing like a catalogue model. “I think it looks pretty fucking fabulous on me.”
“I dare you to go in the water with it.”
“No way. As you just pointed out, I’m no idiot.” Kathleen relaxed back on the chair. “Anyway, the point is that I was right about the sweater.”
“Fine,” Lucy said. “You were right.”
“Which means you were wrong.”
“Whatever.”
“Say it. Say you were wrong. I just want to hear the words come out of your mouth. Have you ever admitted you were wrong? In your life?”
“Shut up.” Lucy kicked some sand in Kathleen's direction. “Don't you even want to know why I’m off the market again?”
“Of course,” Kathleen said. “What's going on?”
“I slept with David Lee last night,” Lucy said.
“With David Lee?” Kathleen repeated.
“My lab partner,” Lucy said. “The half-Jewish, half-Chinese guy you met at the walk.”
“I know who David Lee is,” Kathleen said. “That's why I’m confused.”
“Fuck you,” Lucy said. “I happen to like the way he looks.”
“Whoa, whoa,” Kathleen said. “I think he's adorable. I’m just having trouble processing it. Remember when you first started working together? You said he had a crush on you and you had to shut him down completely.”
“Things change,” Lucy said. “I changed.”
“I wasn't surprised,” Sari said. “I knew when he gave you that friggin’ cat that there was something going on between you two.”
“There wasn't, though,” Lucy said. “I was still with James then.”
“Maybe,” Sari said. “But the kitten definitely started something.”
“Yeah, I guess. It's weird, though.”
“What?” Kathleen said. She extended her right foot so she could admire her bright red toenail polish. She had gone out to get a manicure and pedicure that morning in preparation for the wedding and when she walked back in the house afterward, Lucy and Sari were there waiting for her. She was so surprised, she had screamed. Then they all screamed and hugged one another while Kevin beamed. “What's weird?”
“That someone can be right there and you don't think of him in any special way. And then suddenly you do think of him that way and it makes sense. Has that ever happened to either of you?”
“Does sixth grade count?” Sari asked. “Because I remember suddenly noticing Fidel Mateo in sixth grade, and we'd been in school together since kindergarten.”
“Before my time,” Lucy said. “So what happened with Fidel?”
“Coco Kronenberg was a big fat slut who stuffed her bra. That's what happened.” “His loss,” Lucy said.
Kathleen said suddenly, “Let's go to a hotel bar and get royally drunk. It's the night before my wedding, girls. I need to get wrecked.”
“What about Kevin?” Sari said.
Kathleen stood up. “He can stay home.” She picked up her beach chair and folded it. “Starting tomorrow, I’ll be stuck with him every night for the rest of my life.”
“That's so romantic,” Lucy said. “I may cry.”
Three hours and nine daiquiris later, they had achieved in triplicate Kathleen's goal of getting wrecked.
They had found the perfect hotel bar, one that was completely open to the beach so they could watch the sun set while they drank their first round of freezing-cold strawberry daiquiris. Then there were greasy appetizers and more strawberry daiquiris—tonight even Lucy was eating and drinking—while they watched the hotel staff blow conch shells and race around lighting gas torches all over the property in some ancient Polynesian torch-lighting ritual. Then there were hula dancers and more daiquiris.
They laughed and talked for hours, all three of them with their hair rough and wavy from thè salty ocean wind, their faces glowing from the sun they'd soaked in that afternoon and from the torchlight that fell on them now. They were dressed similarly in sleeveless cotton summer dresses and their bare legs were smooth above flat jeweled sandals. It was no wonder various guys all night long tried sending them drinks and stopping by their table. They took the drinks, sent back the men, and every one of them knew that this was one of those nights you remember forever, when the drinks are as cold and sweet as a childhood Popsicle but leave you reeling from a bitter punch that makes you glad you're an adult.
“So tell us about Kevin,” Sari said to Kathleen when the night sky was dark everywhere except where the torches fought back. “Tell us what you love about him, why you want to marry him. So if we ever meet the right guy, we'll know it's him.”
“I may have met him already,” Lucy said.
“All the more reason for you to shut up and listen.”
Kathleen took the tiny umbrella out of her drink and held it open above her head. “Look, it's raining,” she said, which seemed to strike her as incredibly funny.
“Come on,” Sari said, with the determination of the seriously drunk. “I want to know. Why do you love Kevin?”
“I don't,” Kathleen said. Then she said, “I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Of course I do. He's nice, don't you think? Have you ever met anyone nicer? Look how he flew you guys here just to surprise me. How nice was that?”
“He even paid for our tickets,” Lucy said. She let her head flop back against her chair. “He's a prince.”
“He's
the
prince,” Kathleen said. “Prince Charming.”
“Was he mad you wanted to go out alone with us tonight?” Lucy said.
“Of course not,” Kathleen said. She twirled the toothpick part of the umbrella between the palms of her hand, and the brightly colored paper spun until the colors all merged. “He doesn't get mad. Kevin doesn't get mad, he doesn't get upset, he doesn't get excited, he doesn't get
anything.”
“Except laid, I hope,” Sari said.
“Not if he doesn't get aroused,” said Lucy and they all laughed wildly at that—so wildly that a couple talking at a nearby table gave them annoyed looks.
“But you love him, right?” Sari said.
“Of course,” Kathleen said. “I love my Prince Charming. Would it matter, though, if I didn't? People get married all the time without being in love. Don't they?”
“I wouldn't want to,” Sari said.
“Doesn't matter,” Kathleen said. “Because we do. Love each other. He really really loves me. And I kind of really love him,” There was a beat. Then, “Did I tell you he wants to start a family?”
“Like right away?” Sari said.
“He says he can't wait to have kids.”
“Did you tell him you hate kids?” Lucy asked, raising her head.
“Of course not.”
“So you lied to him? Way to start a marriage, Kathleen.”
“It wasn't a lie.” She opened and shut the little umbrella rapidly. “Maybe I don't hate kids as much as I think I do. I could probably learn to like my own, don't you think?”
Before either girl could answer, a guy came up to their table. He was slightly younger than they were and a little on the plump side, but not bad-looking. He was wearing a brightly colored Hawaiian shirt over jeans. “Hey, guys,” he said with a nervous laugh. “My friends and I have been sitting over there—” He pointed to another table and three guys there raised their hands in greeting. The girls waved back. “—and we were wondering what you girls might be up to for the rest of the evening and whether you'd like some company.”
“That's so sweet,” Kathleen said. “Do you have a car with you?”
“Sure do.”
“Terrific!” she said. “Our house is a little ways down the beach. You want to take us home?”
“Are you kidding?” he said. “That's like so … Wait—just let me go tell the guys. Don't go anywhere.” He dashed off.
“What are you
doing,
Kath?” Sari said. “Inviting four men back to Kevin's house? The night before your wedding? Are you insane?”
“It's easier than calling a cab,” Kathleen said.
“No, it's not. All a cab driver expects is money.”
“Well, these guys won't get even that.”
“So we're going back to the house now?” Lucy said, confused. “To sleep?”
“No.” Kathleen tossed the umbrella on the table and gathered up her purse as the men eagerly approached them. “To knit and talk.”
They all packed into the guys’ small Volkswagen convertible— three of them in front, four in the back. The girls were sitting on top of their hosts, who didn't seem to mind it at all. “Excuse me,” Lucy told one of them. “My ass seems to be inserting itself into your hand. One of us should probably be doing something to fix that situation.” The guy turned red and adjusted his hands accordingly.
When the driver—the guy who had come up to them at the restaurant and whose name, they had since learned, was Sanjesh—pulled up to the house, he gave a low whistle of appreciation. “This is yours? Sweet!”
“Well, not ours exactly,” Lucy said. She opened the door and basically fell out of the car, then stumbled into an upright position. Kathleen and Sari also slipped out quickly. “It belongs to Kathleen's fiancé.”
“Who's Kathleen?”
“She is,” Sari said, pointing.
“Oh, man,” said Sanjesh. He had turned the car off, and he and his friends were all getting out. “You didn't tell us you were engaged.”
“Sorry,” Kathleen said. “I guess I forgot. Thanks for the ride, boys. Don't feel you need to walk us to the door. We can find our way.” She and the other girls moved forward.
Sanjesh froze. “Aren't you going to invite us in?”
Kathleen considered briefly. Then she shook her head. “Nope.”
She, Sari, and Lucy scurried up to the door and threw themselves inside, slamming the door shut behind them. They burst into incontrollable giggles.
“Hey!” A door opened on the floor above and they all tilted their heads to see up the stairway to the landing, where Kevin appeared in a pair of boxers and a T-shirt. “There you are,” he said. “Welcome back. Do you need me to take care of the cab driver?” He came down the rest of the stairs.
“No cab,” Kathleen said. “Some nice young men gave us a lift.”
He raised his eyebrows. “I’m not sure how I feel about that.”
“I’m guessing you're not angry,” she said and collapsed into fresh giggles.
“You guys got a little drunk, huh?” he said.
“What makes you say that?” Lucy asked, with a snort of laughter.
“Just a lucky guess. How ‘bout we all go to bed now? Get a good night's sleep, wake up all bright and cheerful for our wedding day? Our wedding day.” He shook his head. “It still sounds unreal.”
“You go to bed,” Kathleen said. “I want to stay up with the girls. We're going to knit.”
“You want to knit right now?” he said. “It's past one.”
“That's what all brides do on their wedding nights,” Sari said. “They knit. It's kind of an old tradition.”