Knots (39 page)

He set her back on her feet, and then they were off to get the rental car.

They drove in a happy silence.

She wound up holding her breath, though, when he parked in her parking spot for her apartment.

It seemed like forever since she was here and had left with a few days’ worth of clothing.

Over the past few weeks, she’d bought more while at Mark’s place so she wouldn’t have to keep doing laundry every four or five days.

But it would be nice to have a full wardrobe again.

All she’d brought with her had been her underwear and three bras, two dresses, two pairs of heels, two sets of pajamas, a pair of jeans, five shirts and shorts along with a bathing suit. Oh, yes, and some flip-flops.

Now she’d have several different pairs of shoes, work clothes, winter wardrobe for mild weather and church clothes, though she still needed to supplement that wardrobe since weekly church attendance was going to be a new thing for her.

She looked forward to that part the most—the comfort of her own clothing, hanging in the closet, even though she always hated clothes shopping. She never knew what to get.

Part of the reason she wanted these was so she wouldn’t have to shop more.

Mark helped her out of the car as usual, and she took several deep breaths as her stiff legs carried her inside.

He stroked her back and hair—already sweaty since it was August in Phoenix, the muggiest time of year.

It had to be pushing one-thirteen. Her skin remembered these high temperatures.

Without a word, he unlocked the door. She’d already given him the house key before they left his home.

Already her chest ached to be back at his place.

The old weighty feeling of being a disappointment hit her the moment she walked in the door and smelled the mixture of her cleaners and Pono’s cologne.

It hung in the air like an unanswered question—
why didn’t we work?

Mark turned to her as soon as he shut the door and kissed her slowly and tenderly. His hands were gentle in her hair.

When he broke away, he said, “Your turn to close your eyes.”

She did, and when he told her to open them, he had a necklace in his hands. “Jeanine, you’ve offered me a ring as a sign of your devotion to me, and now, if you’ll accept my collar, you’ll wear a symbol of my ownership of you.”

He’d explained to her before what a collar would mean. They’d talked about it, but it sounded like something that would take place a long time down the road. It sounded very close to the commitment of marriage.

Without having to think twice, she whispered a choked up, “Yes, Sir. I’ll be yours in all ways, and I will cherish this collar along with anything else you see fit to give me.”

“You realize what this means?”

“Yes, I do.”

“And you are fine with calling me Master now, rather than Sir?” His right brow crawled its way up his forehead.

“I’ve already been saying it in my mind every now and then to try it on, so yes, Master, I’m ready. This girl’s ready to move forward with you.” She smiled and her heart did, too.

He looked ready to jump her, but instead he stepped back a little. “I love what your ring stood for. Your collar has meaning, too. These are waves. The ocean calms you, and you do that for me in the exact same way. Just being near you, hearing the sounds you make, I find myself again, even though I already knew who I was.”

“I love it. Thank you.” She leaned forward to get a better look at it.

She smiled. It seemed he was trying to hide his surprise at the same time she was hiding his. This must’ve been why he was in a rush and making sure to go through the metal detectors when she was taking her shoes off. She missed seeing her collar in those brief moments it would’ve been exposed and pulled out of his pocket.

Without permission, she ran a fingertip across the filigree design. It was breathtaking and the silver gleamed, like his eyes.

He choked on a gasp and then looked ready to leak a few ecstatic tears himself. “You have no idea what this means to me.”

“I think I do, because I’m already dying to touch it while it’s nearer my heart and kissing my skin.” She bit her lip and smiled through it, her legs shaking.

She blinked away a few happy tears, and then he was putting it on her neck, kissing her harder, deeper and undressing her.

The next moment, she was on her back, on the couch, frantic for more.

She never even considered feeling guilty over making love on the second-hand couch she and Pono had bought together.

She only considered pleasing her new Master and doing whatever it took to make him happy and feel loved, because that’s what he did for her. All. The. Time.

* * *

Packing was grueling, but Mark was always going, always moving. One more box. One more thing to move.

She cleaned in between boxing up her stuff, and he went with her each time she made a run to Goodwill with some of Pono’s things she knew his family wouldn’t want to keep.

Had they really been at this four days already?

Sweat dripped between her breasts. Ick!

It seemed really wrong to have her pretty collar near all this grimy perspiration and dust coating her body.

“Hey, we need to meet your parents in about an hour. Why don’t you go shower? I’ll finish this up,” Mark called out as he finished packing up the box he was working on filling.

She fingered her choker, stretched her back, then went to the shower on her own.

As she soaked and scrubbed, the memories came back.

Up until now, she hadn’t showered alone in her home.

Mark was always with her in here, kissing and touching her, whispering sweet things in her ear as he made love to her.

The vision of Pono assaulted her mind from before he’d gained all that weight, chatting with her while she washed.

He was excited about how well he was doing in his classes with his final semester.

“I saw Mark today,” Pono said.

“Oh, yeah? How’s he doing?” Her heart rate spiked and her throat constricted a little on hearing his name.

“He has another girlfriend, and she seems nicer than the last one, though kind of quiet. I think maybe he intimidates her, but what do I know?” Pono shrugged and groped her breasts, made a clown-like honking noise, then laughed.

She ignored it.

“He asked how you were doing,” he said, his voice teasing.

“And what did you tell him?” Her voice rose in pitch and was cracking like crazy. Her gut yanked in a spasm.

“I told him you work. I go to school, and then you play football with me so I’ll get my fat ass off the couch on the weekends.” He patted his stomach that was developing a little pooch.

“Next time you see him, tell him I’m good, I fed you and watered you, and we’re happy.” She tried to smile, but it felt more like a grimace.

“Why would I do that? I like making him think I’m a pussy. It pisses him off. So damn funny.” He snickered.

“Po-no! Don’t instigate and rile up your friend. Mark’s really nice. He’s one of your closest friends, and you know he’ll do anything for you.”

“You mean for
you
.” He laughed and shoved her in the arm.

She opened her eyes and rubbed her arm where he’d shoved her so long ago, just like the way Mark shoved Jay.

That was the difference. Pono treated her like she was one of the guys. And while it had been familiar and comfortable—when she honestly thought about it, she never wanted to be put in that role.

She wanted to be his lover, his confidant and his whole world. Not a joke of a woman he ripped farts around and then pinned it on her as he doubled over with howling laughter.

She leaned against the wall for a second and smiled.

Those days were gone, and though she’d remember a lot of it with fondness since Pono had been her best friend and constantly made her laugh, she was going to have the life she always wanted now.

She was a woman, not a tomboy. She was Mark’s, and that meant more than she could ever express.

A moment later, Mark joined her, and those bad memories, the uncomfortable ones that made her feel worthless, washed down the drain where they belonged.

* * *

“I talked to your dad this morning,” Mark told her as they stood on the doorstep of her parents’ home.

“You did?” Her heart caved its way into her knees, locking them up. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I knew you’d worry about it and keep obsessing.” He knocked again, harder this time.

She clicked her teeth together and stood slightly behind his right shoulder. Somehow that little action loosened up her constricting chest.

“She’s here,” her mom yelled behind the door and then opened it with a beer can in her hand. “Jean, you look a mess.”

“Hi, Mom.”

Before Jeanie had to decide if she should hug her, wave, or do nothing at all, Mark stepped forward and took her mother off guard. He gave her a firm handshake.

Her mom’s eyes grew big, and she paled.

“I’m so glad to meet you, Mrs. Latham.” Mark let go of her hand and took Jeanie’s.

“Remind me what your name is again?” Her mom scowled.

“Mark Pierce, and we only have a few hours to spend here since we’re still packing up Jeanie’s place. There’s a lot to do. If you’d like to visit us there while we’re working, we’d love to have you.”

Her mother’s lips twisted into a mocking smile. “Code for—get your ass over there, you lazy bitch, and help us pack up.” She waved them in.

Jeanie’s shoulders dropped when she heard her dad call out to them.

“What’s taking so long?” her father grunted.

When they entered the living room, he was plastered into his La-Z-Boy as usual.

It was older and rattier, the leather worn in some spots, but then what had she expected?

“Hi, Dad,” Jeanie said, quieter than she wanted.

“Get your ass in here. Let me see you,” her dad said, voice gruff.

His ashtray on the TV tray next to him was overflowing.

The room reeked of smoke.

She went to stand in front of his chair, but Mark moved faster than she did and stood before him instead, keeping her tucked behind him a little to his right.

“Nice to meet you, Mr Latham.” Mark startled him as well as he lunged forward and shook his hand.

It was gut instinct she supposed, to just jump and do Mark’s bidding. He had that type of command, even over her bastard of a father, caring only about himself.

“Jesus Christ, Mr.
Latham’s
my fat, bloated ass of a father, dying of cancer. Call me Zane. And call her Deb, or woman. I don’t care which.” He snorted and then reached for his pack of cigarettes next to the ashtray. In the next moment, he lit up and inhaled his cigarette, blowing the smoke at Mark’s crotch.

Oh God.

The blood in Jeanie’s body rose like a thermometer and went to her head, making it pound in her ears.

“Speaking of which . . .” Her dad jerked his head to the side. “Woman, get me a beer. Mine’s empty.” He chucked the mostly empty can at her mother, sloshing the remnants of it on her legs.

She groaned, picked it up and left the room without a word.

Her father wore a smug smile and flicked the ashes of his cigarette toward Jeanie.

“So, you’re a full-fledged whore now, huh? You kill your husband, and then take on one of his friends. That’s smart. The friends never suspect, do they?”

Before Mark could say anything, she exploded. “Shut up! You don’t know shit, you son of a bitch. You don’t care about anybody but yourself, and we’re leaving now.”

Mark turned to her and grinned. “Good girl,” he whispered, his brow cocked at her.

“Thank you,” she said.

“What did he call you?
Girl
?” Her dad chuckled and slapped his leg. “
Good
? In what world? She can’t please anyone. She was a lousy daughter and an even worse wife. No wonder her husband gained weight. He had to find some way to cope with dealing with her lazy ass.”

Mark leaned forward. “I suppose you’re right. What kind of wife works her ass off night and day, saving money to start a family because her husband wants that more than anything, and then comes home, cooks and cleans for him when he’s a slob and never says thank you. Yes, definitely lazy and selfish.” Mark took the ashtray, walked it over to the small trashcan a few feet away and dumped the butts and ashes in. There was garbage scattered all along the outside of the bin. Obviously, her father would chuck stuff over there and miss, then never bother to pick it up.

Mark shoved the ashtray back into her dad’s hands. “Thanks for seeing us. We’ve got things to attend to in her house that was pristine the moment I entered it. Yes, definitely a lazy, horrible wife.” Mark stretched his neck. “She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. This woman does everything she can to care for and nurture the people she loves. Evidently she did
not
gain that trait from you.”