Know Her, Love Her: Daisy & Belmont, Book ONE (4 page)

“I know…” she says as we hug. “I look like a walrus, but you look hot as usual.”
 

“I don’t know about that. You look beautiful.”

“I try.” She links arms with me. “Let’s go somewhere not so Venicey.”

“But it’s all Venicey.” I chuckle.
 

“True.”
 

We head north past the small dress shops and art galleries. I tell her about my new job and my trip to Chicago.

“You’re going to be gone for a while?” she asks.

“Yes, but at least I’ll be on La Côte d'Azur for the majority of the time. It’ll give me the chance to put my life in perspective.”

“Your life is already in perspective. Here…” She opens the door to a restaurant.
 

A huge bar is situated in the middle of the restaurant with tables on the sides. The lunch hour is ending, so it’s not so crowded. As usual, Maya knows almost everyone who works here. The hostess compliments Maya on how beautiful she looks, and suddenly I’m struck by illumination. Maya is the male version of Belmont. She seems to know everyone in L.A., and she’s used to getting what she wants, even me as a best friend.
 

But she never questions whether or not I love her. She steals my boyfriend and never questions it. She flirts with men who are interested in me to make herself feel worthy and never questions it. She outs my then-boyfriend, now-husband as a male escort, and still, she never questions my affection for her. I say “I do” to Belmont in front of God, friends, and family, and he questions my affection for him.
 

We’re seated at a table where we can be seen but not heard. It’s the best seat in the house. The waitress pours spring water into our glasses and sets the carafe on the table. We order our obligatory salads. Hers is avocado kale, and mine is spring greens with sliced cherry tomatoes and ginger cherries.

Maya rubs her belly. “They only buy fruits and vegetables from local growers who don’t use pesticides. And the meats here are all organic, no antibiotics or hormones.”

I smile. “Motherhood suits you.”

“Who could’ve guessed? But I don’t want to talk about me. What’s going on with you and Jack?”

I sigh and slump my shoulders. “He said he wants a divorce.”

“Is that what you want?”

“No. I don’t know. If it’s what he wants, then what can I do?”

“You can try fighting for him. I mean, he’s Jack fucking Lord for goodness’ sake!”

I roll my eyes. Sure, he’s at the top of the food chain, but he’s just a man. “I never believed love is something you should have to fight for.”
 

There’s a pinch of perplexity in her expression.
 

“Why are you looking at me that way?” I ask.
 

“You’re all fucked up when it comes to love. You have this opinion that love’s supposed to be easy, but that’s so not the case. The sticky shit can be love too, and if you’re stuck in shit, then you should try to fight your way out of it. Like, throw the shit out, not your love—just the shit.”

I fall silent. I’m not sure how much of what she said is true. “Yeah…” I sigh. “I love Belmont even though he doesn’t think so. I’m just tired of being agreeable. I hate living in that big house. You know me. I like the simpler things in life. The real things.”

“I know. Well, then stop being agreeable. Just be you.”

“I can’t help it. I change when I’m around him. I don’t even know how it happens. All I want to do is make him happy.”

Maya nods. I can see the wheels turning in her head. “Does he make you happy?”

I smirk. “I’m the happiest when he’s making love to me.”

“I bet. I’ve heard Jack Lord can fuck a girl in a million and one ways.”

My eyes expand, cautioning her to lower her voice. “Maya, come on. You’re talking about my husband.”

“Hey, that’s what I heard.”

“Well, it’s true, but what we have is more profound than that. We have a connection, and it doesn’t require us to be friends or even like each other to want to be together.”

“No, I get it,” she says.

I frown. “You do?”

“I do. He’s in your pores.”

I nod. She does get it. “But, hey, maybe I was meant to be alone.”

She blurts a laugh. “You’re too hot for that. You’d still be leading Adrian around by his stupid dick if I hadn’t convinced him that there’s more to a relationship than fucking you whenever you let him. You treated him like Pavlov treated those monkeys.”

“You mean dogs.”

“Monkeys, dogs, rats…”

I make a face. “I did not treat him like that. However, I will admit that I wasn’t the best girlfriend. Do you attend his silly wrap parties?”

“Every single one of them.” We share a laugh. “I also read his scripts and tell him everything he writes is brilliant.”
 

I sniff cynically. “Is it though?”

“As long as we’re married.”

I sigh. “I think everything Belmont does is brilliant. He landed on the Forbes list, and he’s still unstained by his past.”

“That’s because Jack only fucked women who could lay golden eggs.”

“Wow, that sounds… horrible.”

“It was brilliant.”

“Right now he’s working with someone named Stacy.”

Maya takes a moment to think. “Stacy Pruitt?”

“I don’t know her last name.”

“Hot? Dark hair? Desperate?”

“She’s definitely beautiful and has dark hair, but what do you mean by desperate?”

“She’s a bitch who doesn’t respect boundaries.”

“Kind of like you?”

“A hell of a lot like me. Actually, I heard she and Jack had a thing. Watch out for her.”

I close my eyes to bear the ache that crushes my heart. “He told me that they used to be together but he hasn’t made love to her since then.”

“And you believe him?”

“I do.”

“Okay, making love and fucking are two separate actions. Did he cover both of those? Because men, they’re tricky.”

I roll my eyes. “Oh my God…”

She shrugs. “All right, whatever. At least you can take solace in knowing that Jack isn’t the sort of guy who can’t control his dick. As you know, I’ve tried, and he didn’t want any part of me.”

“Don’t remind me.”

“Okay, I won’t. But what next?’

I shake my head. “He’s angry because he thinks I’m unburdened by Joella’s death.”

“Are you?”

I stare into Maya’s eyes. “The answer isn’t so simple. By the time I had her, I was ready to be a mother. I love her. I didn’t even get a chance to hold her. I’ll never get that chance, and I think that’s what hurts the most.”
 

“So you’re ready to be a mother?”

“I didn’t say that. I was ready to sacrifice all of my ambitions to be a good mother to Joella. I don’t know how happy that would’ve made me, but I was ready to make her happy.”

Maya takes a swig of her water. “Do you honestly think your daughter would’ve been happy if you weren’t happy? Kids can see right through their parents’ fucking masks. You know what I think?”

“What?”

“If it were just you and Joella against the world, then she would’ve been like an extension of you. But you have to think about Jack and what he’ll
allow
you to do. He’s like your fuckable daddy.”

“That’s disgusting,” I say.

“It’s true, and you know it. He’s your problem, but he’s a hot problem. You just have to figure out how to fix him. He’s so fucking worth it.”

“But shouldn’t I want everything we have? It’s the American dream right?”

“The American dream? There’s no such thing. I thought you knew that.”

I lean across the table and whisper, “I hate that my beautiful flower died, but…” I sigh. “I feel like I’ve been given a do-over. I don’t choose to become what I almost became.”

Our salads arrive, and the dense silence lingers. The waitress says she hopes we enjoy them and to let her know if we need anything else. She leaves us quickly because even she can feel the tension around our table.

“If I don’t want what Belmont is offering, what does that make me?” I ask Maya.

“It makes you, you. And let me tell you, Dais, if I were a guy, I’d move heaven and earth to fuck you whenever my dick got hard. Not to mention you’re just great company. Jack will change for you. All you have to do is mold him.” She points her fork at my salad. “Now eat.”

I snort a chuckle and pick up my fork. “I wish you could’ve seen my Joella. She was a beauty.” I narrow an eye. “But she looked like Charlie.”

She gasps. “The hot brother? Do you think he drugged you and fucked you and you had his kid instead?”

I laugh. “Only you would say something so preposterous.”

We spend the rest of the afternoon gossiping about mutual friends. Maya invites me to a clambake they’re throwing on Sunday near my house. It would be the first time Adrian and I have seen each other since our altercation on Martha’s Vineyard, so I tell her maybe. I’ll call her if I decide to go.
 

I sleep easy alone in our big house. On Friday night, I have dinner with Heloise, my stepdad, Joseph, and Daphne, my half sister, who’s home after graduating from Georgetown University this past weekend. She and I aren’t close, but we are cordial. It’s kind of sad that the last time I saw her was ten years ago. She used to be a brat, but now she’s a sophisticated, thoughtful young lady. She’s returning to Washington, DC, in a couple of weeks to pursue a career in government. The evening passes pleasantly.

Saturday goes by without any word from Belmont. On Sunday morning, I lay in bed with my phone in my hands. I’m ready to have that difficult conversation with him, but I’m not positive he’s ready to hear it. I sigh, sink my head deeper into my pillow, and call him. I’m antsy. On the fifth ring, I’m about to end the call when…

“Hello?” a woman says in a sultry voice.

I hesitate. “Sorry, I must have the wrong…” But I know this is the right number. “Is Belmont there?” I’m struggling to keep my breathing even.

“He’s in the shower.”

I end the call and tuck the phone under the other pillow as if hiding it will make what happened go away. I stare at the ceiling. Did some woman with a bedroom voice really just answer Belmont’s phone? I close my eyes to restrain my tears. I’ve already cried too much.
 

A while later, I wake up to the muffled chime of my cell phone. I retrieve the device from under the pillow and check the name on the screen. “Hey, Maya.”
 

“This is the third time I’ve called you. What the hell’s going on?”

I tell her what happened before I fell asleep. “He never lets anyone answer that phone, not even me.”

“Are you coming to the clambake?”

“No. I’m too tired.”

Maya grunts. “When’s your flight?”
 

“My flight… I don’t know if I want to take the job anymore.”

“Goddamn it, Daisy. I’m coming over.”

“Don’t…”
 

She’s already ended the call.

Under a Rock

“I can force you to get out of that bed, or you can do it yourself,” Maya says.

I struggle to sit against the headboard, rubbing my eyes. “How did you get in here?”

She’s standing in the doorway of my bedroom, wearing a very short sundress that shows off her thin but toned legs. “Your maid let me in.”

“Oh.” I sigh. “Today’s Sunday.”

“Daisy, do
not
do this.”

“Don’t do what?”

“Fall the fuck apart! Like you did after I made that post on Facebook.”

I grimace. “Don’t remind me.”

Maya sits on the edge of my bed. She and the baby in her stomach get comfortable as she faces me. “I’m going to remind you that you wouldn’t have lost your shit if you’d taken at least one of my phone calls or answered the damn door. We could’ve talked it out.”

I set my weary eyes on her. “No need to rehash the past.”
 

“But I need to explain this because I never did.”

I sigh wearily and motion for her to continue.
 

“When we came to Martha’s Vineyard, Adrian was supposed to tell you the truth. He got derailed when he found out you were fucking Jack.”

“Don’t say ‘
fucking
Jack.’ It sounds so belittling.”

“Making love?”

I shrug. “That’s better.”

“You should know that I didn’t post that picture of the ring until after Adrian assured me he had told you everything. He lied to me. That’s what he was supposed to admit to you. I should’ve never believed him. He still lies to avoid dealing with difficult shit. Wimp.”

She makes me chuckle even though I don’t want to. “You sound like Heloise.”
 

“Thank you. I want to be just like your mother when I grow up.”

“Then congratulations, you’ve succeeded.”

She laughs. “However, I should’ve never left it up to Adrian to tell you about us. I should’ve invited you over for dinner, made your favorite meal, and told you myself. I just felt so ashamed.”

I sigh deeply. “I know. It wasn’t losing Adrian that hurt. Oh goodness, he got on my nerves.”

She chuckles. “What hurt? That I betrayed you?”

I nod.
 

“Well… it was an unusual situation.”

I bend over to cup her hand. “No, really, Maya. We don’t have to rehash the past. I understand how complicated it was.” I smile. “Plus you’re having a whole human being.”

“Fuck—whoever puts it that way?”

“Okay, you’re having a baby.”

She smiles. “I am.”

“You are.”

We stare into each other’s eyes.
 

“I love you, Dais.”

“I love you too.”

“Don’t ever stop being my friend again, okay?”

“Okay.”

“Now…” She struggles to stand and stretches her back. “Get your ass out of bed and come to the clambake.”

I groan and fall back onto my pillow.
 

“I’m not going to let you fall apart because life tossed an obstacle in your way. You deal with it by living, not crawling under a rock until you don’t feel the pain anymore.”

I’m taken aback. “Did you just say that to me?”

“Yes. I’m wiser now.” She snatches the blanket from my legs. “So get your ass out of bed.”