La Suite (13 page)

“Don’t be
deceived, Maya, every time I exhibit my naked body, I’m terrified.
But the turn-on defeats the terror every time.”

“You’re so
sincere about it, Gaëlle. You almost persuade me, “Maya said, then
added hurriedly, “…but don’t get ideas, it’s only almost! I don’t
see myself giving in to Eric, however persuasive he tries to
be.”

“I can
understand why he’d want to encourage you,” Gaëlle said. “Your body
is at least as good as mine when you’re stripped. I can appreciate
what a turn on it would be for Eric to see you exposed in public.
That isn’t a suggestion, just a fact.”

“Well, it’s not
going to happen.” Maya said firmly. “But thank you for the
compliment, anyway.” She started to stand up. “I should be going,”
she said, looking at her watch. “But I’m not running out on you,
Gaëlle. We can discuss this any time I’m free. Just give me a
call.”

“Thank you for
listening. I needed that,” Gaëlle said, kissing Maya on both
cheeks. “You can be sure I’ll call you, because almost everything
we’ve dealt with today has been what I’ve done in the past. It’s
the future that isn’t so clear to me.”

“Next time,”
Maya said decisively.

From Gaëlle’s
Journal

Jung talks
about synchronicity, and I just had a fine example of it. There was
I, racking my brains over how to ask Maya to hear me out, and there
she was, and in need of help. Her immediate needs were much simpler
to address than mine, but it gave me the chance to open up the
subject. From what she said in the car, she’s been observing me
over a period of time, but she had the sensitivity to wait until I
raised the subject before letting me know.

People never
cease to amaze me. The calm and understanding way that Maya
listened to my story so far was astonishing. When she said I was
her best friend, I felt such a glow! I’ve underestimated her. It
felt so good to tell her about my experiences and it was in some
ways a relief that she’d guessed some of it already. I’ve also
misjudged Eric, it seems. Maya said that he’d enjoy seeing me
exposed, and that it wouldn’t bother her if he did. Maybe I can
arrange for that to happen, but only if I can be sure that she
really won’t object That’s a nice thought, as is the idea that my
relationship with Jérôme, and its sexual nature, was the subject of
discussions between Maya and Eric! I wonder how often they discuss
me and if so, whether that spices up their sex life. But they must
have good sex together, or Maya wouldn’t have recognized my scent
on Jérôme’s lips. She let that slip! I assume she was going on her
own scent on Eric’s lips, but who knows?

Having told
Maya that I intend to restart my life of erotic exploration, I felt
the urge to make a start. So, last night in the shower I shaved off
all my pubic hair. I’m the only one who’ll be seeing my bare sex at
the moment, but I’m sure I’ll want others to know about it quite
soon. Shaving myself brought back so many exciting memories!

Chapter
Sixteen

Gaëlle sat at
the desk in her apartment the next morning, staring at her diary.
She couldn’t help comparing the blank, empty pages from a few
months earlier with her current complex social arrangements. She
was trying to juggle the sporadic visits of Gabi with the requests
from Odile to go and keep her company at Barbara’s house and now,
with what looked as if it would become a series of challenging
discussions with Maya. Gabi was the most demanding of the three,
wanting to come round several times a week whenever she was in
Strasbourg, avid to learn some more details of Gaëlle’s sex life.
With Odile, it was more that Gaëlle sensed the other woman’s
isolation during the extended absence of Barbara. Odile was also
the gatekeeper to the pumping equipment that Gaëlle was keen to try
a second time. She phoned Odile and arranged to visit her that
evening.

“It will be
just for a swim and a chat, though,” she told Odile. “Other things
will have to wait until I have time to try them properly.”

“It will just
be nice to see you,” Odile said, making Gaëlle feel guilty.

As on her
previous visit, Gaëlle swam naked in Barbara’s pool. It seemed to
please Odile, in spite of her insistence that she was only
interested in men. They chatted afterwards about their respective
husbands, and when Gaëlle left, she was glad that she’d done her
duty, as well as forgetting for a while the spaghetti tangle of her
erotic life past, present and potential. There was a message on her
answering machine when she got back home.

“Coucou,
Gaëlle, it’s Gabi. I’m off to America in the morning. Work. See you
in three weeks. Kisses, ‘Bye.”

Gabi’s boss,
the one she referred to as
my minister,
seemed to cross the
globe as easily and often as others might cross town, Gaëlle
reflected. But at least that would leave the field clear for
Maya.

The following
morning, Saturday, Gaëlle called Maya’s house, but got the
answering machine, so she left an innocuous message. “Hello, Maya,
it’s Gaëlle. If you came round on Monday evening about seven, that
would be good.”

She was about
to sign off when Eric’s voice broke in, “Sorry, Gaëlle. Maya’s out
and I was slow to get to the phone. I’ll give her your message, but
I’m sure Monday at seven will be fine. I’ll deal with the girls.
But, Gaëlle, have you a few minutes?”

“Of course.
What’s it about?”

“Did Maya ever
tell you that she sometimes talks in her sleep?”

Gaëlle’s
stomach lurched. “She does?”

“Yes, she does,
especially when something is on her mind. Can you see where I’m
going with this?”

“Perhaps,”
Gaëlle said, cautiously.

“The other
night, she was fast asleep, but she was muttering about Jérôme and
you and it woke me up. I thought you should be warned that some
things that you might have supposed were quite private,
aren’t.”

“Yes…Well…Thank
you, Eric.” Gaëlle started to put the phone down, feeling rather
faint.

“Don’t go yet,
Gaëlle, please,” Eric said. “I’m a bit embarrassed that I heard
stuff that wasn’t intended for me, but I think it might be useful
for you and me to talk. I don’t want to shock you like this
again.”

“Is this the
sort of talk that has to be kept a secret from Maya? If so, then I
think not. She’s my friend, Eric.”

“I’d rather she
didn’t know at this point, but it’s because you and she are such
good friends that I feel I can talk to you about her. I think you
can help me and help Maya, too.”

“Go on, then.
I’m listening,” Gaëlle conceded.

“I assume she
already told you that we used to discuss Jérôme and you, and how
you behaved towards each other?”

“Yes, she
did.”

“I gather that
she told you about the party when she wore her little pink dress
with the low neck.”

“I didn’t know
the colour, but yes, she did.”

“I bet she also
told you that she only ever wore the dress on that one
occasion.”

“Yes, she
did.”

“I thought
she’d say that, but it isn’t true. There was another time. We were
in a restaurant and she suddenly pulled the neck of the dress down,
flashed her bare boobs at me, no bra, and stuck her tongue out. She
looked fabulous. I was stunned. She said
Happy now?
and put
them away again. I told her how fantastic she looked and when we
went home, we had a great night.”

“Good for
you.”

“Did Maya let
on that you and Jérôme have also appeared in fantasies she and I
told each other in bed?”

“She didn’t
tell me about that. Are you sure it wasn’t just you with the
fantasies, Eric?”

“Maybe I
started it more often, but Maya initiated some of them, too.”

“I see. Why are
you telling me this?”

“Because I’m
hoping that your discussions with Maya might encourage her in that
direction.”

“Which you
would enjoy.”

“Mightily. And
Maya would, too. It’s just that she can’t admit it as easily as I
can.”

“All I can
promise is that I’ll bear it in mind, Eric. Okay?”

“I’m not asking
for any more than that. Thanks, Gaëlle. Goodbye.”

Gaëlle put the
phone down and sat back, her brain racing. What had she told Maya
so far? And how much of that did Eric now know? At least he was
still speaking to her. Should she tell Maya that she’d changed her
mind? How would she explain it if she did? Why was life so
complicated? Then Gaëlle smiled to herself. Life was complicated
because she made it so, through her desire to explore in a way that
most women never did more than think about. She calmed herself
down. She told Jérôme, as she so often did when she was on her own.
It cleared her mind to hear the words.

“I’ll have to
tell Maya that Eric knows what we’re discussing. She’s my friend,
and I won’t hide things from her,” she declared. How Maya took that
was up to her. The next question was, would that stop Maya from
wanting to hear more? Again, Gaëlle decided, that would be Maya’s
choice. She felt better for having reached these conclusions, made
herself a camomile tea and took it and herself off to bed with a
Fred Vargas. A good murder story would help her relax before she
went to sleep. Besides, she liked Vargas’ hero—he led an emotional
life that was sometimes just as uncomfortable as her own.

Chapter
Seventeen

“Where were
we?” Maya began, on Monday evening. “I’ve got used to the idea that
your sex life was a lot wilder than I had imagined, so…”

Gaëlle
interrupted her. “Maya, there’s a complication I need to tell you
about before I say more, if I’m going to say more, that is.”

Maya looked at
her in surprise. “You think you’ve revealed too much? You don’t
trust me?” Her face fell.

Gaëlle hastened
to reassure her, then explained about the phone call.

“Shit!” Maya
said. “I haven’t done that for ages.”

“It’s not as
bad as talking to yourself, which is what I do,” Gaëlle tried to
reassure her.

“But at least
you only do it when you’re alone! I blab all your secrets in bed,
with Eric listening to every word!” Maya wailed. “I’m truly sorry,
Gaëlle, I had no idea I was giving your secrets away. I suppose
that’s why you want to stop telling me stuff.”

“Not at all. I
chose you as the person I trusted most to understand me, and that
hasn’t changed. But what we do about Eric is another question.”

“He’d be only
too delighted to come with me and hear it first hand,” Maya joked
ironically. Gaëlle thought for a moment.

“How would you
react if I said okay, let’s invite him to join us?”

“I was
joking!”

“I’m not,”
Gaëlle said. “Think seriously about it for a moment. He’s going to
get some of it from you, whether you like it or not, and we both
know he’ll enjoy that, from what you’ve told me of him. Besides,
judging by what I know of men, now Eric knows what we’re talking
about, you’ll face an interrogation every time you get home after
being with me, won’t you?”

“That’s
inevitable,” Maya agreed. “It could be difficult if I try to hold
out on him. I wouldn’t want that.”

“So why not
bring it out in the open? You can always use it to stimulate your
love-life with Eric,” Gaëlle added mischievously.

Maya blushed.
“Oh, so he told you that, too? You’d better tell me what else my
darling Eric revealed.”

“There was a
mention of a pink dress,” Gaëlle said. “On a different occasion
from the one you told me about?”

“I thought we
were talking about your sex life, not mine,” Maya blustered.

“We are, but
we’re also considering how we progress from here in that
discussion, aren’t we? And some things about you and Eric might
turn out to be relevant, don’t you think? You were about to tell
me? The pink dress?”

“Oh, all right,
then,” Maya conceded. “The famous pink dress has been crucial to
Eric’s erotic perception of me, ever since he chose it. I suppose
I’ll have to show it to you sometime, so you get a better idea, but
shall we say it’s shorter and shows off my boobs more than anything
you’ve seen me wearing.”

“In the
changing rooms, I’ve seen you wearing nothing but a smile,” Gaëlle
reminded her.

“That’s
different. Maybe you think about sex while you’re at the gym, but
mostly I don’t. I’m more concerned with getting a good workout, and
if I do have any brain cells to spare, they’re busy thinking about
running my school.”

“Sorry. I
forget sometimes that you’re a working woman,” Gaëlle said. “But
you were about to tell me about this dress, weren’t you?”

“Persistence is
one of your virtues, Gaëlle, but it can be a vice, too.” Maya
sighed. “Oh, why not? Briefly, this is what happened, Eric had been
plaguing me about the dress, saying that I hadn’t worn it for ages,
and only ever once and so on. It was coming up to our wedding
anniversary, and I thought it would keep him quiet if I wore it. At
the last moment, I decided to give him a surprise, so I didn’t put
a bra on. At the restaurant, he was so thrilled I was wearing the
dress, I’m sure he had no idea of what he was eating. So, as a
final gift, I gave him a quick glimpse. He couldn’t wait to get me
home!”

“How did you
feel when you showed him? You were in public after all,” Gaëlle
asked.

“It was more
for Eric than for me. I enjoyed that he enjoyed it.”

“But you felt a
buzz, too, didn’t you? You were taking a deliberate risk, and that
was exciting, wasn’t it?”

“You’re
determined that I should confess, aren’t you? You know far better
than I do how it felt. It’s an instant of exaltation, followed by
half an hour of apprehension, in case someone noticed.”

“And did
they?”

“I hope not! I
was only a teacher then, not a Directrice, but it wouldn’t have
done a lot for my career!”