Lacrimosa (7 page)

The Dark One himself.

Azzaziel.

How did I not notice him before now? What’s wrong with me?

I step out of his reach. I can’t let him touch me,
see
me. Not here, alone, with a mob of dark creatures ready to feast on me.

Azryel’s Wings, how did I ever let this happen?

“Nice to meet you,” I say, taking another step away from him. I look at Aydan and stow every emotion. His eyes dart from Azza to me and back. His expression is hard, angry.

The air stands still around me, stopping time. One…two…three seconds pass before the words will form. “No, really, it’s okay,” I finally say, stepping into the shadows. “I’m already late. My mother will be worrying about me.” I continue to back away, keenly aware of Azza’s stare. His thoughts reach out to mine. I shield my identity, making sure he senses nothing more than the scared musings of a normal human girl.

Leave her alone
, I hear Aydan say to his master.
She’s mine
. His words chill me to the bone.

Azza’s laughter fills the air as I finally reach the stone stairwell that leads to the upper terrace and duck into the darkness, cursing my mistakes.

My heart continues to pound too fast in my chest. I’ve never let myself get this close to blowing it this big. I should have felt Azzaziel’s presence, should have sensed him coming. Mikayel will never accept these mistakes. Unless…

Chapter 9 - Succumb

Aydan

I never intended to serve Azza. No one ever does. But it sure beats burning in the eternal flames of the Abyss.

At least, that’s what I keep telling myself.

Truthfully, most days I obsess about killing my master. I used to think being his apprentice, binding myself to him and learning the secrets of the Dark Ones, would give me the strength I needed to end his reign.

Not any more.

Now I know the truth, becoming the Beast will only tie me to him for an eternity. None will be able to kill me. Any honor will be forever gone. And I will be nothing more than a slave to my master…

I bite back the feelings I’ve never wanted, clinging to my familiar anger. Balling my hands into fists, I drink in my anguish, letting it calm the Beast. “You are not.”

“Then you must stay away from her for now.” Azza glares at me, a primordial show of force.

“No,” I say before I can think. So much for control. “I
will
have her.” I’ve always been too impulsive. Especially when I’m angry. “All of her.”

And I’m more than angry tonight.

My rage engulfs the space, exploding into an inferno I can’t contain. I don’t want to contain.

Centuries of doing
his
bidding.

It’s time I took care of me. And right now, Nesy would fill my needs.

Memories I can’t shake spin me into a fury. Pictures of Elle, of her death. I feel it like it just happened. Centuries of purging these feelings gone. And all because of this girl.

Nesy.

My world slips away and I again taste vengeance on my tongue. I do want Nesy for more than a meal. I need her soul to erase these feelings—I need her to pay for waking them in the first place.

I clench my jaw, stifling the rage I feel for her. For the life I regret. For everything Azza has turned me into. Releasing a low growl, I storm off, walking toward the stone staircase that leads to the upper terrace overlooking the fountain—her fountain. Nesy’s face follows me, burned into each stone. She whispers to me. Taunts me. Each step brings me closer to my undoing. But still I push on, desperate to outrun the she-devil.

I feel a light brush against my skin as I start up the stairs. I spin around and stare into the face of my master. A primal scream, my scream, splits the silence.

I can’t be contained. My human forms drops to the ground in a heap. Black bat-like wings unfurl to their full span. My body, nothing more than muscle and flesh stretched too-thin over bone, rises to its full stature. My eyes are the only part of my humanity to remain.

The Beast is awake.

Another howl pierces the night air. “Yield to me!” Azza bellows.

He towers over me, black wings and claws that match my own extended, gnashing the space between us with his sharp fangs. He expects submission. Demands it.

My fury blinds me—anger, shame and memories too difficult to forget. I ram my shoulder into my master, ripping my claws through his skin.

“Yield, Disciple. Now!” Azza growls. He wraps his spindly talons around my throat and squeezes.

My strength fails as I gasp for air. Too much grief. Too much shame. I’m weaker than I should be. Weaker than I’ve ever been.
Why?

I remember the last time I was forced to make a deal with Azza. That choice cost me my life. What will he expect from me this time?

My soul?

Worse?

“Now, go. Feed. Tomorrow we will deal with your feelings for this girl.
If
that is what she truly is.”

I watch as Azza and the dark creatures fade into shadow. Slipping back into my discarded body I walk home, defeated.

And hungry.

Chapter 10 - Remembrance

Aydan

I jam the key into the lock of my apartment, unable to think of anything but Elle. My home, nothing more than a studio, feels even smaller tonight. The walls close in as my mind continues to spin. Every feeling I’d abandoned, every moment I’d locked deep inside has been released by Nesy. But why? How?

If she's even human at all…don’t trust her…she almost had you…

Azza’s voice bellows through me, silencing my own tortured musings.
Not human
. I never considered that possibility. Nesy’s image fills my thoughts. The smell of her hair, so like Elle’s. The curve of her waist. The life in her eyes. Nothing about her is off. She is human. Completely human.

Which means she can’t be Elle.

Elle’s dead
.

I cast aside my thoughts and focus on my anger. Nesy has awakened more than just my memories of Elle. She’s rekindled my hatred for Azza. I’ve committed too many heinous acts at his bidding. Paid too high a price for one choice made so long ago. Each thought stirs the Beast inside, a reminder that I will never escape my fate. Never escape my choices.

I plop on my couch-bed, weak from hunger and guilt. My entire body aches for the one thing it can never feel again—the feel of Elle’s touch on my skin.

The Beast screams for food. I know I won’t be able to stave off the hunger much longer. But I can’t continue this charade either. I hate everything I am, everything I’ll soon become.

I close my eyes, my head in my hands. I need to get it together. Need to find a way through this hell. I look up, staring at the only piece of art I’ve ever owned. Michelangelo’s
Fall
from Grace
. Not an original, of course. But something I’ve kept with me for decades.

The picture screams of my life: Adam and Eve, their fall from Eden, the human-faced serpent.

The Beast again stirs inside, begging to be fed. I ignore my urgings, feel my own rage and disgust surge. The picture begins to change as my torment increases, swirling to life. It morphs into a replica of me, Nesy, Azza. I watch as the figures dance across the paper, highlighting the end of everything I was.

Mesmerized, my eyes begin to close. And I fall…

I’m running towards the screams that rip through the dark forest. My humanity slips away with every step, Mikayel, Sariel. Keep her safe. Please.

“You’re too late.” Azzaziel steps through the trees, standing in shadow. His laugh fuels my rage.

“What do you want from me, Dark One?”

“You know who I am. I’m flattered. Most humans don't recognize me, even when I’m standing right next to them.” Azzaziel steps into the filtered sunlight, his black hair, solid black eyes and tangles of Celtic markings burned into his neck giving away his true identity. “But then, you aren’t like most humans, are you?”

My eyes widen. Chills explode down my spine. “Azzaziel.” I choke on his name.

“And you must be the Council’s newest addition. Aydan, is it?”

My human body goes stiff.

“Don’t worry, I’d recognize you anywhere, even if you’d been more careful. But, you really should practice better control; prevent your angelic skin from glowing through your human form. Otherwise these people may think that you’re possessed. And you know what these pagans do to the ones they think are possessed, don’t you?”