Lady Lissa's Liaison (22 page)

She hurried inside the sanctuary of the church, glad enough when the door closed almost soundlessly behind her and she was enveloped in the vast peace of the holy place.

Chapter 13

Once inside, Lissa immediately moved to the side chapel and the little altar there. Behind it was an iron gate, and behind that were all the tombs of her ancestors, her parents included. She knelt down in front of the altar, setting her basket beside her, then bowed her head, hands clasped together, and prayed fervently that all the confusion in her life—and in her heart—would soon come to an end. She prayed for herself, for Gabriel, and even for Lord Langford. But she prayed most of all for Gabriel... prayed he would find some peace in his turbulent soul, prayed he might one day look at her without clenching that strong jaw of his and would see her as the friend she longed to be.

And a very daring part of her prayed that she and Gabriel might one day become more than just angling partners of the Dove... might actually come to love one another... to
marry.

The moment the fervent prayer came whizzing through her mind, Lissa snapped her eyes open. She stared up at the gold cross atop the altar gleaming bright in a slanting of sunlight through the stained windows, and wondered at her own thoughts. Marriage, and to Gabriel! Imagine, she'd actually prayed for such a thing!

Lissa shivered, amazed that she was now on her knees in a place that felt like home and was praying mightily for a marriage with the sixth Earl of Wylde.

She hardly knew the man, she thought.

Then again, she felt as though she'd known his soul since the beginning of time....

She heard footfalls in the adjoining passageway. She got to her feet just as the rector appeared. He smiled, obviously glad to see her.

"Good day to you, my lady," he said quietly. "I had been intending to pay a visit of late, but Widow Hawthorne took ill and I was needed at her bedside."

"I hope it is not life-threatening."

"She will recover."

Lissa nodded, smiled in relief, then motioned to the basket beside her. "I've brought some bread, preserves and pudding. I thought you and yours might enjoy them."

"Ah, we shall, my lady. Thank you."

Lissa smiled again, passing the basket to him.

"Is there something else?" he said, a sage note to his calming voice. "Something you wish to talk about, my lady?"

Lissa very nearly told all, but stopped just short of doing so. How to explain her own ridiculous plot of a pretend liaison, of all the hours she'd spent at Gabriel's side and how confused he made her feel. No doubt the rector would be scandalized to hear such things come from her lips. And how could she explain the two gentlemen outside who had very nearly come to blows over her... and, more to the point, how Gabriel could make her both happy and sad all in a single moment? No, she could not express all of this; it was for her own heart and mind to puzzle out.

Instead, Lissa said simply, "My—my life h-has been confusing of late."

"I am listening."

"I... I feel as though I am at a crossroads, that I could fall off into nothingness but at the same time as though I might actually come into something wholly wonderful and lasting." Lissa shook her head ruefully. "I am not making much sense, I fear."

"You are making perfect sense, and I am glad you came here this day, to pray. I blessed the union of your parents, my lady, baptized you, and watched you grow. I know that your mother and father schooled you well, and that you have been constant in your faith. Let that faith guide you now." He nodded toward the cross. "Take the time to seek the peace you know dwells within this house, and allow it to fill your own heart. Know that God will guide you, if you but ask."

Tears pricked Lissa's eyes. She swallowed, nodded, and whispered, "I will. I swear I will. Thank you."

Within a moment, the rector was gone, moving back into the shadows of the church, leaving Lissa alone, with her thoughts and her prayers.

She knelt once again, looked up at the cross that gleamed in a ray of slanted sunlight, and truly prayed for guidance.

* * *

Much later, as Lissa headed back outside, she was feeling renewed. She looked for Langford, his mount, but didn't see them. She blinked against the brightness of the sun... and then she saw Gabriel.

He'd lingered near the church, waiting for her. He stood alone on the gravel drive, his gaze not as black as she remembered it a short time ago. He seemed to have calmed himself in the absence of Langford.

"I'd have thought you'd gone back to the river, or to home," Lissa said.

"You thought wrong." He offered her his left arm. "May I lead you home?"

"I am quite capable of finding my own way."

"Of course you are. But that's not why I asked. I asked because it would please me to do so." He again offered his arm. "May I?"

Lissa hesitated. "Your behavior with Lord Langford was atrocious."

"Aye. It was that."

"Have you no shame?"

"Where Langford is concerned? No, I don't. I never have, never will. Now, will you walk with me or not?"

"You have been insufferably rude this day."

"Not with you, I haven't." His eyes were tender, the heat of his anger with Langford gone. "Walk with me, Lissa," he said quietly. "Say you will. And tell me, please, what peace you found within the church."

"You need only go inside to discover that on your own, my lord."

"You are to call me Gabriel," he reminded her, and then, with a rueful grin when she made no answer, he glanced at the church, its doors. A long moment of silence slipped past, time in which he was clearly considering her suggestion to go inside.

"Ah, no... ," he finally said. "Not today. Not yet."

"Why?" Lissa asked quietly, hoping that he might truly open up to her and share whatever it was that tortured his soul.

" 'Tis a long tale, one I have not shared with any other."

"I am a good listener, m'lord."

"Aye," he agreed, "you are that." His lips turned with a deeper grin. "But you do not take direction well—as in my directive for you to address me as Gabriel."

Lissa frowned. "You are teasing me now. And here I'd thought the two of us might actually share something of import."

"No, what you thought was that I would do the sharing, and you the listening."

Lissa blew out an agitated breath. "You're insufferable, my lord." She turned, moving briskly away, intending to walk home alone.

Gabriel, laughing, strolled beside her with infuriating ease. "I'll accompany you, if you don't mind."

"I do mind," she said crisply.

Gabriel ignored her remark. Lissa glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, and was amazed to see the lightness in his step, a grin still hovering on his too-handsome mouth. For the first time, it seemed, his guard had gone down, and she was being given a glimpse at the softer side of him. Even his black eyes held a bit of a smile in them.

"The change in you is this side of alarming, I dareswear, m'lord."

"Not too alarming, I hope." His grin lessened then. A serious note to his voice, he said, "I just... I'd like simply to walk you home, Lissa. We don't even have to talk. In fact, I'd rather we didn't. Truth be known, I've come to like our silent moments."

Lissa slowed her pace, the anger washing out of her. Amazingly enough, she knew exactly what Gabriel meant.

Gabriel walked her home, right up to her door, and they talked of nothing. They simply existed together beneath the sunshine.

It was, Lissa later decided, the finest walk she'd ever taken....

* * *

During the next two days, Lissa's life became one of trying to dodge Lord Langford's presence and hoping for Gabriel's. While she spent every morning alongside the Dove with Gabriel and little Harry, she had her afternoons and evenings to worry over.

But even though she'd leave Gabriel's presence at the river, she came to expect him to crop up wherever she went. He seemed to materialize at any given moment as she came out of a shop in town or took a walk along the country lanes. But much to her consternation, Langford was often on the scene as well.

Several days after the unnerving scene between Langford, Gabriel and herself outside the church, Lissa decided to head into the village to the milliner's shop. She needed to purchase a new bonnet, one sturdy enough to endure her many ventures into the woods.

As was always her penchant, she chose to walk the distance, and was glad to be able to slip out of the manor without her abigail in tow. Truth be known, Lissa needed time to herself, to let all of her thoughts swirl in her head and, hopefully, settle down within her mind into some semblance of order.

The sun was blindingly bright, the air tinged with heady, summer scents, and the country lane was dusty and dry. Lissa simply allowed the sun to coat her, and the beauty of God's earth to wrap about her.

She reached the millinery by mid-afternoon, and allowed herself several minutes of mindlessly gazing into the clean window at the collection of bonnets on display. Though she'd come in search of a bonnet for walking, a stylish riding hat festooned with a plume of darkly dyed feathers caught her fancy. The feathers were a perfect match to Gabriel—to his eyes, his hair color, and mayhap even his darkling moods....

Lissa bit her bottom lip, studying the hat, wondering at how she was of late forever equating anything and everything with thoughts of Gabriel. She knew she should stop such behavior—but, alas, could not. In fact, Lissa was suddenly thinking of how wonderfully the hat would complement her favorite charcoal riding habit come autumn, and was thinking, too, if she would be heralding in the fall season with Gabriel in her life. She hoped so.

Even in the face of the man's mercurial moods and the blackened rumors surrounding him, Lissa had several times glimpsed a pearl of perfect peace while in Gabriel's presence. Foolish or not, she harbored the hope that the two of them could together transcend all the angst that had thus far shattered those pearllike moments. Telling herself that what
seemed
impossible might actually
be
possible, Lissa headed for the door of the millinery, her spirits lifting.

The shop bell jangled above her as Lissa stepped inside.

Mrs. Emma Hodges, owner of the shop, a small, rotund woman of excellent humor, hurried forward to greet her. "Good afternoon, Lady Lovington," she said warmly.

Lissa smiled. "Hello, Mrs. Hodges. I see you've a new display in your window."

"Ah, yes, I can thank my new shop girl for that. She's quite handy, and good thing, too. I fear I'm getting too old, and too wide," she added with a wink, "to move myself around in such a small space. Anything in particular you like, m'lady?"

"There are several actually—and the riding hat most especially."

Mrs. Hodges beamed. "Excellent choice, m'lady. Though the black would be most striking on you, I can have one fashioned in the deepest shade of blue, if you prefer, or perhaps even violet, or—"

Lissa shook her head. "No, I like the black with its gray plumes," she said, thinking of Gabriel. "The one in your window is perfectly perfect, Mrs. Hodges. I'd like to purchase it. And I'd like to order a bonnet for walking, straw will do—one that is sturdy but pretty, with some sort of summery ribbon."

"Of course, m'lady," said Mrs. Hodges, quickly moving to the counter to make some notes. "I've always said you inherited your mother's beautiful face and form, and that any hat on you will look like a crown. How we miss your parents, m'lady. So in love with each other, they were, and so kind to all in the shire. I speak for myself and a good many other people, I dareswear, when I say I hope you, too, will one day enjoy such a perfect marriage match."

"Thank you," said Lissa, her cheeks suffusing with a soft blush, for she could not help but think of Gabriel when the word "marriage" was uttered. It was not at all uncommon for those who dwelled in the shire to talk to Lissa in such a manner, no matter of their position. Her parents had been beloved throughout the village and beyond, and there had been a profound outpouring of love and sympathy at the passing of each of them. "I consider myself fortunate to be surrounded by people like you, Mrs. Hodges," Lissa said, meaning every word.