Authors: Shirlee Busbee
"That
it does, Nick, that it does," Higgins answered sadly, and with a curious
uncertain gesture he absently rubbed his hand over the thinning patch of
graying brown hair, as if at a loss how to continue. Finally apparently
steeling himself, he looked directly at Nicole and bluntly told her the
remainder of the tale—of Christopher's seduction by her mother, of the way
Robert and she had used him as a shield, and ending with Robert's final
monstrous act.
There
was silence when he finished, and unable to look any longer at Nicole's frozen,
stricken features, he got up and nervously busied himself, shuffling a few
bills and vouchers that rested on the mahogany sideboard. "You see now why
Robert Saxon is not to be trusted. And do you understand now why Christopher
often appears to act irrationally where you are concerned?"
There
was no censure in his voice, only a sort of sad pity, and lost in her own
obscene nightmare, Nicole barely heard him. She tried to speak, but no words
came; they were locked at the back of her throat. She swallowed convulsively,
attempting to push away the ugly, monstrous things that Higgins had said about
her mother and Christopher and the vileness of Robert's actions. But the
grotesque thoughts kept crowding back, leaving her no peace, stabbing like
little knives, as she sat there, her face white and strained, her eyes begging
Higgins to call back those damning words. A shudder of revulsion shook her at
the repulsive knowledge that her own mother had lain with Christopher and had
known that dark magic of his body moving on hers, had, in fact,
taught
it
to him. Her mouth trembling, she tried once again to speak, to denounce what
Higgins had told her, but the words would not come. They would never come, she
realized sickly, because deep in her heart she knew that Higgins told the
truth. It had to be the truth, no lie could be so monstrous and abhorrent. It
gave the reasons for so many unexplained things—the barely leashed animosity
between Robert and Christopher, the queer times Christopher had looked at her
as if he hated her. It revealed the motivation behind those moments of deliberate
brutality between them . . . Christopher had been punishing her for her
mother's actions.
With
an anguished little moan she buried her head in her hands, and Higgins, deeply
troubled by her obvious distress, hurriedly poured a small goblet of brandy and
with rough fondness forced her to take it.
"Now,
Nick, there is no cause for you to take on like this. It happened long ago and
you are not to blame," Higgins said gently, regretting now that he had
ever decided upon this course.
After
forcing herself to take a sip or two of the brandy, she stared into Higgins's
kindly face and said dully, "Christopher blames me."
Higgins
sighed. "Aye, that I don't doubt," he admitted heavily. "But
don't you see, Nick," he began eagerly. "Now that you know the truth,
perhaps you won't be quite so inclined to think of Christopher as such a brute.
And when you think better of him, you'll act better toward him, and he, well,
Nick, you must confess that when you are fair with Christopher, he meets you
halfway."
The
numbness was receding somewhat from Nicole and wryly she asked, "Higgins,
are you by chance trying your hand at matchmaking?"
Higgins
had the grace to look guilty. "Well, now, Nick, you can't deny that you
and Christopher make a most handsome couple," he said brazenly.
Nicole
swallowed the rest of the brandy and, standing up, remarked grimly,
"Handsome is as handsome does and even you will admit that what
Christopher and I do is not handsome! I think you have been drinking a little
too much of Christopher's wine, Higgins."
As
he said nothing, she said tiredly, "Never mind, I shouldn't have made such
a poor jest. I don't know whether to thank you or curse you. I think for the
moment I shall thank you though, because if nothing else, the reasons behind a
lot of things are now understandable to me." She stopped speaking, a
little frown creasing her forehead. Almost apologetically she muttered, "I
can see why Robert's word is suspect, but, Higgins, I believe in this case he
was telling me the truth. The truth as he knows it, and I mean to get to the
bottom of it.
Someone
must have told him there was to be a
marriage." She paused, trying to remember Robert's exact words. "Lady
Darby," she said slowly at last.
She
and Higgins had been too intent on their own conversation to pay a great deal
of attention to what was happening around them, and consequently they were both
startled when the door to Christopher's rooms swung open and Christopher
himself walked in.
To
say which of the three occupants in the room was the most startled would be
impossible. Certainly Nicole and Higgins had not expected him, and from the
expression on Christopher's face he clearly was astonished to find Nicole in
his rooms. It was equally clear that he was extremely displeased with what he
found.
"What
in hell's name are you doing here?" he demanded forthrightly, casting an
inquiring glance around, obviously searching for either Lady Darby or Mrs.
Eggleston.
Nicole
licked her lips, frantically groping for the right words. Higgins very meanly
suddenly thought of something that required his urgent attention, and with a
mumbled excuse he bolted out the door. The two faced each other and Christopher
demanded again, "Well? Would you kindly explain yourself?"
Wishing
she weren't so very conscious of him as a male, a male seduced by her own
mother and one who held an almost irresistible appeal for herself, Nicole
hesitated, and as those gold eyes regarded her with growing impatience, she
blurted out, "I spoke to Robert this morning and he says that it is arranged
that you are to marry me."
Thunderstruck,
Christopher stared at her, dozens of wild improbabilities racing through his
brain. "Don't be ridiculous!" he snapped finally. "Believe me,
there is no agreement, at least," he added truthfully, "none that I know
of."
Fighting
back the knowledge of his past that shrieked like a whirlwind through her mind,
she persisted stubbornly, "Robert said Lady Darby told him that it is all
arranged. Even your grandfather has given his consent."
His
lip curling derisively, Christopher remarked skeptically, "Now that I
rather doubt! Simon may be overbearing, he may want his way in everything, but
he is not without common sense! And only someone totally without any sense at
all would be so foolhardy as to arrange a marriage between
us!"
Nicole
swallowed the hot retort that sprang to her lips and muttered, "That may
be, but Robert was quite positive about what Lady Darby had told him."
Resigning
himself to the inevitable, Christopher motioned for Nicole to sit down, and
after she had done so, he asked levelly, "Suppose you start at the
beginning and tell me what you know? When did Regina tell Robert?"
Nicole
hesitated, suddenly not wanting to continue this awkward conversation. Her eyes
did not meet his as she said jerkily, "A few weeks ago we were at Vauxhall
Gardens for the evening. Lady Darby had a few moments alone with Robert and she
told him then."
His
eyes narrowing, he leaned negligently against the mahogany sideboard, his arms
crossed loosely over his chest, and regarded Nicole's averted face intently.
"Now why did she do that, do you suppose?" he queried in a
dangerously silky tone.
"I
have no idea!"
Apparently
not satisfied with her answer, Christopher reached over, and his fingers
tightening about her chin, he forced her to look at him. "It couldn't be
that she had found you two in a compromising position, hmmm? And perhaps wanted
to warn Robert off?"
Nicole's
flaming cheeks were answer enough, and with something like disgust leaping to
his eyes, he released her chin abruptly, as if her skin suddenly burned him.
His voice was cold as he said, "Knowing my great-aunt, if she caught you
and Robert acting indiscreetly, she would be perfectly capable of lying to suit
her own purposes. I have been aware now for several weeks that for some unknown
reason she would like to see us married! And I suspect she said the first thing
she thought of. Rest assured that at the moment I have no intention of marrying
you! So you can put Robert's tale from your petty little mind and in the future
pay no attention to gossip!" His eyes hard and mocking, he taunted,
"Believe me, if I wanted to marry you, you would know it—I'd make damn
sure of that!"
The
soft mouth thinned and Nicole leaped to her feet. Clutching her reticule so
tightly her knuckles showed white, she spat, "Thank you very much! It
relieves my mind no end to know that I can face the future knowing I shall not
be married to such an utter swine as you!"
Staring
at her vivid features, at the topaz eyes flashing sparks of tawny fire, a curious
expression flickered across his face, and softly, almost threateningly, he
murmured, "I said
at the moment
I had no intention of marrying
you!"
Nicole
caught her breath in a gasp of pure rage. Forgetting that marriage with
Christopher was something she longed for with all her heart, or that only
moments before she had been torn apart, agonizing over the great wrong done him
by her mother and Robert, she cried furiously, "You beast! Do you honestly
think, you have only to change
your
mind! That I won't have something to
say about it?"
A
lazy smile on his mouth, he levered his body away from the sideboard, and
before Nicole had time to guess his intention, she was locked in his arms. With
the mocking mouth hovering just inches above hers, he teased, "Oh, I'm
certain you'll have a great deal to say about it! But there are ways of dealing
with recalcitrant young women who don't know what's best for them."
Nicole
jerked as if stung, but Christopher only tightened his hold and deftly caught
her mouth with his, his lips hard and warm, almost hurtfully demanding a
response from her. His kiss was the familiar half-savage, half-tender assault
on her senses, and with a soft moan of part shame, part answering desire, she
yielded her lips to him, offering no resistance as his tongue ravaged her
mouth. Painfully aware of the solid muscular promise of his body against hers,
of the hard thrust of his thighs against her legs and the strength of the arms
that bound her so closely to him, Nicole fought against the traitorous urge to
return his caress, to allow this urgent, hungry embrace to end as nature
demanded it did—to let him sweep her into his arms and carry her through the
doorway to the bed she knew lay beyond, and to feel again that exquisite dark
enchantment of Christopher's body possessing hers.
But
then even as her hands began to caress feverishly the dark head, the insidious
memory of what Higgins had told her came slithering back like some venomous
reptile from a black cave, and suddenly filled with revulsion, revulsion that
her mother had known that same magic, she twisted frantically out of his arms.
f
Christopher
made no attempt to recapture her; instead, his eyes mere slits in the dark
face, his chest heaving slightly, he said icily, "If that is how you act with
Robert and if that is how Regina caught you, I am not surprised she lied as she
did!"
Nicole
glared at him. "At least Robert had the decency not to force himself on an
unwilling woman!"
"
Un
nwilling?"
Christopher taunted, unable to help himself. "Don't try that line of
defense! You were as willing as I!"
"Have
done!" Nicole muttered angrily. "I didn't come here to wrangle with
you! Believe me, despite what might seem actions to the contrary, I really have
no desire to be seduced by you! And if you were any kind of a gentleman you
wouldn't put me in such an invidious position."
A
rueful smile creased Christopher's lean cheek. "I agree, but we both have
already agreed that I am no gentleman and that you, my little firebrand, are
certainly no lady! I think we are each equally as guilty as the other for this
present confrontation."
The
fight suddenly vanished from her body at his disarming manner, and Nicole
nodded and in a weary voice said, "At least there is something we
can
agree
on! And now I think it best if I leave before we say anything that destroys
this momentary accord."
For
a seemingly endless minute Christopher stared at her, noticing the hint of
strain that clouded the topaz eyes. He was aware of an inexplicable urge to
take her into his arms and to demand that she allow him the right to resolve
whatever difficulties had caused the air of sadness that clung to her. But then
jeering at himself for being a fool and a madman, he shrugged his broad
shoulders and said out loud, "I will order a sedan chair for you and
escort you back to Cavendish Square; if we are lucky no one will ever guess
that you have been here. What did you tell them when you left the house?"
"I
didn't say anything, I just left," Nicole answered quietly, undecided if
Christopher's help was what she really wanted. She was extremely conscious of
the debt she owed him, of the wrong done him by her mother, and for the first
time in their relationship she found herself ashamed and contrite for some of
the things she had thought about him. Higgins's revelation had given her a
different view of Christopher, and she hadn't yet had the time to accept the
idea of his being vulnerable, of Christopher Saxon's being capable of being
duped, of his having the same failings as any other person. An odd wash of
tenderness for him clutched at her heart, and for one wavering humble moment
she almost forgot herself and tried to express some of the conflicting emotions
that were warring in her breast. But one look at his face and that impulse
died. In a queerly docile mood she let him take charge of her and followed his
lead.