Laid 2 Rest Two Halves of a Whole (32 page)

I left the two them alone; whatever was happening in there was far beyond my understanding. Since my traveling to the past began, I have learnt that there were things in this world that simply cannot be explained or revealed until I was ready to truly understand them.

Which I am not!

My only guess was that her mom’s presence led to her ultimate decision to keep the baby in the first place. She had to be here for some kind of added support or guidance so that Vivian didn’t end up making any hasty decisions that she would have regretted later on in life.

I slid back into bed next to my husband and began feeding Bria her early morning snack. Jay woke up to kiss her on her little head and then positioned himself so he could cradle me in his arms, just like I was cradling our daughter. The twins appeared by magic and crawled into bed with us before Bria finished her bottle. They were summoned to our room by an unknown force, pulling us all together. With them curled up next to us, we all slept side by side for a few more hours.

Later that morning, I woke up to the strong smell of coffee in the air. I eased myself out of the bed with a sleeping baby in hand and stumbled out to the kitchen. I could hear Viv and my mom talking in low whispers… their conversation stopping abruptly as soon as I entered the room. What could these two have to talk about?
Me
from the looks of it.

“Good morning,” I told them. “Hope you guys slept okay.”

“Good,” they both replied, bobbing their heads, but that was it.

“Just let me know if you need any extra blankets.” I basically didn’t know what else to say and rattled off the first thing that came to my mind before turning around and leaving the room. It felt like I was intruding on something private. Something not meant for my delicate ears.
My mother was probably trying to fill her mind with God knows what.
Did she really believe that Viv wouldn’t be more than happy to repeat every last word she said, later?

Bria was still sound asleep, so I returned her gently to her crib. Feeling anxious, I ran myself a bath instead of taking a shower. The water was hot and steamy and was already fogging up the mirror as I shut my eyes, allowing the warmth of the water to relax and sooth my cold winter bones.

“Is there any room in there for me?” Jay asked sleepily, a few minutes later.

“Always.” I responded with my eyes still closed.

“Dang, woman! This water is hot. Are you trying to boil yourself?” he yelped after stepping in and trying to sit down, opposite of me.

I cracked open one eye and giggled. He looked so funny trying to ease himself down into the tub. Once settled, he wrapped his legs around mine and let the water warm him through as well.

We sat soaking, enjoying the silence until we heard little feet running around our room and jumping on the bed. Reluctantly, we stood up and immediately started shivering when the cool air hit us. He handed me a towel, but not before noticing that my nipples were poking straight out at him.

“Let me warm these up for you, love,” he said, dipping his head to suck on them gently. “I wouldn’t want you to catch a cold or anything.” He explained his reasoning, sucking on them a little more. Needless to say, we didn’t leave the bathroom for a while since he kept finding things to stick in his mouth.

Joel, Vivian, and my mom were in the living room dressed and ready to leave. They were going to brave the insane mall shoppers on Black Friday. There were some fantastic sales, but I wasn’t crazy enough to take the kids out in that frenzy. We sent them off and made plans to meet up to watch a movie after they were done. It was a long-standing family tradition of ours, reserved for the day after Thanksgiving and there was no way I was going to miss it...
not this year!

The mall was still a mad house even by late afternoon. The line of kids to take pictures with Santa was literally out the door and around the building. People were loaded down with Christmas packages galore. I loved this time of year though. There was always a certain magic in the air, as if wishes were just waiting to come true. The look of wonder on children’s faces as the rattled off their Christmas list to their parents always put me in the holiday spirit.

We chose something festive and cartoony to watch. The theater was filled to capacity with other moviegoers that had the same bright idea as us so I was glad that we got here early. We all sat in one long row together, snacking on everything from popcorn, to nachos, to candy, and bite size chocolate ice cream balls. The show was funny, a real treat, and something I needed after yesterday’s trying events. Plus, it didn’t hurt that I was a total animation freak. I may be an adult, but I’m not the least bit ashamed to admit it.

The movie was almost over when Viv doubled over, grabbed her stomach in agony.

Shit, Shit, Shit. I knew she was ready to pop.

My entire family stood up all at the same time, disrupting the jam-packed theater. People were shouting for us to sit back down, unaware of what was happening in their mists. “She’s having a baby, you idiots,” I shouted back at the crowd for their insensitivity. Helping her move out into the aisle and out-of-the-way, “Breathe,” I instructed Vivian. “Take nice deep breaths. It will help with the pain.”

“I’m okay. I’m alright. I think it’s over,” she said breathless and sweaty. “
Damn that hurt!
”

“Tell me about it. Let’s get you to the hospital,” I told her before addressing everyone else in our group. “You guys go back to the house or finish watching the movie. We don’t need everyone to go with us. I’ll call and keep you posted.”

“Should I come with you?” Jay asked.

“Thanks babe, but no. Stay with the kids. We’ll be fine; I’ll call you when I need you. We don’t know how long this is going to take.”

He didn’t argue and allowed me to walk Viv out to my car alone. I was so focused on getting us to the emergency room in time that I didn’t even care that her mom was riding along in the back seat with us.

Viv did not have another contraction anytime soon though. She was checked into the hospital and strapped to machines before the second one hit. She was even asked if she would like a freakin’ epidural.

Ain’t that about a bitch!

I didn’t get any stinking drugs. I am positive that nobody even bothered to ask if I wanted one or not. This didn’t resemble the delivery I just went through at all.
My daughter
was hell-bent and in a mad rush to enter this world… while Vivian’s baby planned on taking its own sweet time.

I was in for a long night, so I called Jay to give him the latest and greatest. He told me that he would be down in a little while to bring me some dinner (
hospital food is soooo disgusting
) and that Joel and my mom would be more than happy to watch the kids while he was gone.

Viv sucked happily on some ice chips a nurse had given her while we waited. The contractions were not getting any closer together; however, Viv started looking a lot worse. The color of her skin was cause for concern in my book, but the nurse assured me there was no need to worry since all of her vitals were normal.

When Jay arrived, I was holding Viv’s hand, telling her that everything was alright and that she would look back on today and laugh years from now. Dragging another chair over to her bedside, he sat down beside me with the aroma from my bacon cheeseburger, taunting me from its white paper bag.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Viv told my husband. The way she said it to him, made me a little jealous, but that’s crazy, right?

My hunger must be making me paranoid.

“How are you? Are you in a lot of pain?” he asked her out of concern.

“It’ll be over soon.”

“
I think you have a ways to go yet, sweetie
,” I informed her of the obvious.

“You two are the perfect parents… my child will be lucky to have you both.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence, but you’ll be a great parent too. I know you will. Just you wait and see,” I said not really paying close attention since my food was weighing heavily on my brain.

“I did the best I could. I tried my hardest. Really I did. Never forget that.”

“You’re doing great, Viv.” I rattled off with a warm, salty french fry stuffed in my mouth.

“Promise to care for him like he was your own,” she said, suddenly locking her eyes on mines.

“I’ll love him just as much as I love you! You should know that already,” I reassured her a little more seriously than I had a moment ago.

“I know that, believe me… I know.”

“You’re scaring me girl.”

“There’s nothing to fear… I’ll be home soon.”

“What do you mean,
home soon?
You have to stay with us until the baby is healthy enough to travel. Viv, what are you talking about?” Breaking eye contact with her, I turned to Jay for support. “Tell her she can stay with us for as long as she wants, babe.”

“Vivian, our home is your home. You’re welcome to stay for as long as you like. Just tell us what you need us to do to make you more comfortable
. Should I go find the nurse?
” he asked her as his worry grew while he spoke.

“Your promise, Jazz… always remember your promise…” Vivian’s breathing became labored. I thought maybe another contraction had started, but I was wrong. Her eyes rolled back, turning them solid white as her heart machine suddenly crashed and flat-lined.

“VIVIAN!!!” I screamed as Jay bolted up, yelling for a doctor. I was shaking her when the medical staff came flying into the room. They were trying to get me to leave, but I couldn’t let go of her. “STOP WORRYING ABOUT ME AND DO SOMETHING TO HELP HER!” I wailed in horror.

Once they finally managed to push me out of their way, they frantically began trying to resuscitate her. “THE BABY. HELP THE BABY!” I screamed at them as if they had no clue on what they were doing, while Jay bound my arms, trying desperately to pull me from the scene and out of the room. “NOOOOO!” I cried as I witnessed Vivian’s colorless spirit rise up out of her lifeless body.

My knees buckled to the floor, taking Jay down with me as she sat up and walked towards her mother’s ghost. It was the first time that I’d seen any kind of emotion on her mom’s face. She smiled warmly at her daughter, held out her graceful extended arms, and waited.

Viv didn’t hesitate. She stepped right into her awaiting arms. I watched helplessly as they faded and disappeared from the room together without a trace. The staff wheeled Viv’s soulless body passed me and down the hall for surgery. I didn’t try to stop them this time… I couldn’t function. I sat there frozen, a prisoner of my own mind.

There was nothing the doctors could do for Vivian now and I knew it. It was a matter of saving the baby at this point. She had known… Vivian knew all along that she wasn’t going to survive this day. She came to me for the sake of her child. That was why she had shown up on my doorstep, unannounced after months of silence.

I had been so stupid and misunderstood her, when she said that she would be home soon. Her mother had been waiting for her. All this time, she was here preparing to guide her daughter home. The thought never even occurred to me.

I will remember… I will always remember my promise… I swear it! I will care for your child as my very own, just like you asked me to. Viv had trusted me enough to raise her only child in her place and
I cannot, nor will not
deny her… her last final wish, I vowed as I buried my face in Jay’s shirt. My heart was breaking. That poor baby would never know its mother. “Noooo, this can’t be happening,” I sobbed uncontrollably.

Jay had to scoop me up off the floor and carry me when it became apparent that my legs wouldn’t hold my weight. The nurse pointed him to a waiting area for us to sit in. Time seemed to be running so slowly. No one told us what was happening so I sat there and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore.

Jay left me to get us something hot to drink, but my hands wouldn’t stop shaking long enough for me to sip it. I kept replaying our last few minutes together in my head. It all went so wrong,
so fast
as she tried to prepare us for what was about to happen.

A doctor finally came over and broke the news to us. Vivian had died of heart failure, but they were able to save the baby in time. However, since we weren’t technically related, he couldn’t tell us anything other than he was born healthy and that the baby was in the nursery on the second floor if we wanted to see him, but only thru the glass.

Upstairs, there were a couple of newborns on display for all to see. I didn’t need to search for a nametag to know which baby belonged to my friend… she was standing right next to him. She leaned down and kissed his tiny forehead before looking straight at me. We stared at each other in mutual understanding. She nodded once to me. My return nod back to her was all the reassurance she required from me that I would do the right thing, no matter what it took. By the power vested in me, I would protect and keep her child safe in her absence.

She looked down at her tiny angel one last time and smiled before she faded and dissolved from the room forever.